'How I met my Guardian Angel' - Be amazed

Robbie Andrews, author of 'How I met my guardian angel', released his book in February - after 10 whole years of dreaming, living, talking, sharing and moving towards making his story known and his vision a reality.

I met Robbie in the summer and I instantly felt I’d known him a lot longer than only the few short minutes we spoke, when we had our first conversation. There was a feeling of recognition, home and familiarity. Soon I realized what it was; we were both working on getting our story to the public. Back then, my book was close to being launched and Robbie was completing his manuscript and submitting it to Urlar Publications - the same publisher I work with. 8 months later, we're two (very happy) published authors.

Ever since first meeting him, I know he's been working his ass off to get the story to print. And the launch was long anticipated. But wow, how it was MORE than worthy of the wait!

On the 21st of February the book was officially ‘christened’ and presented the world, in his hometown of Drogheda, north of Dublin. I was delighted I had the opportunity to be there. It was such a special occasion and being just one small person amongst the 400 people who passed through the venue, I truly felt privileged.


As I observed the whole set-up I felt the warmth around me as well I felt this strange sense of pride for what he's accomplished over the past 10 years. There was a sense of excitement and energy but great ease at the same time. I also had this deep urgency telling me how precious time is, how unique these relationships are and how important it is for us to do what we can in this world in order to make a difference.

Needless to say, the launch was a huge success. I was amazed at how composed, centred and strong he was... with 400 people wanting to get a few precious moments with him! They were all there for only one cause; to support Robbie and to wish for success, abundance and love to flow through his life.

He was, and still is, an example of somebody who truly is shining their light out into places that desperately need it. And... wow... I stood, looking at him while he was giving his speech (I say LOOKING, because I couldn’t hear… there wasn't a microphone and the room was too crowded for his voice to reach the back row… which is where I placed myself) and wasn’t irritated that I couldn’t hear; simply being there was enough. I was a part of something so inspiring. To me, it was a sign of being on the right path, exactly where I was meant to be, connecting with those who will journey with me... in whatever way that may be.

I read his within 2 days. This, coming from a slow reader, says a lot. By the end of his story I sat with his book in my hands, I looked at the picture on the back and realized that, I - just as every other reader of this book - am a witness of the dream he spoke of in his book. It has manifested. And everybody who reads his book will understand what I mean. That moment of realizing the power, was MORE than inspiring... MORE than enlightening... and MORE proof to me that only through believing in our deeper purpose can we create our own magic.

Robbie now continues, as he's been doing for years, to talk about his story, to communicate with his angels and to help those in need. And the thing I find fascinating about his whole journey and the way in which he chooses to do his work in this world, is that it never tires him. He will talk and talk and talk so easily about what he's been through, for the sake of everyone else's growth and inspiration. And the fact that he can talk so endlessly means sharing and giving to others, is satisfying his soul, and he's giving back to himself in the process - creating the perfect balance.

This is quite a unique way to be in this world, I reckon. And he's a person we can all learn many things from.

This morning I watched his video of the launch and wow... what a gift. I've added the link here below. It's 3 minutes of goose bumps! I hope you enjoy.   
 
http://vimeo.com/60963195

Great Expectations

Life simply continues, after a tv appearance…

After feeling a wave of adrenaline for a few hours and a bout of panic that followed the initial off-air rush of life, I felt calm and confident that I’d done the right thing, by exposing myself so completely. As well I felt lucky to have had that short appearance. I know it happened mainly due to my publisher Lorraine. I wouldn’t have had this opportunity if she hadn’t been so persistent in contacting the tv-stations. Her persistence hasn’t only paid-off in getting me on the television but also in getting the book to as many distributors and retailers as possible. And for things to be taking off, she deserves so much credit and my endless gratitude. Thanks Lorraine… You’re a gem! Hard work and patience really DOES pay off!

Since I started writing so openly, nearly 5 years ago, I’ve claimed my life is an open book. I’ve always said that everyone is welcome to take a glance. I’ll open my heart and bare my soul to the world, if I get the chance. In my exposure and soul-baring writing, I realize I’ve not only been teaching myself but alongside that, I’ve unknowingly been setting an example. And this really only came to light after I appeared on tv.

It’s probably naïve of me to not have fully been aware that my writing has put me ‘up there’ as an inspiration to others. I say this, not from an egotistical perspective, but from a real perspective (I never started exposing myself in order to feel better than anyone else – instead for the intention of sharing and inspiring). And I can safely say, again NOT from an egotistical perspective, that it’s time for me to start recognizing that I CAN be an inspiration and therefore WILL remain in the light of life.

After being on television, I see how I’ve placed quite some expectations on myself. If others look to me as an inspiration, then I have to live as being that. But I don’t need to TRY to be that inspiration. So far, I’ve never pushed for this to happen. It’s simply how things have evolved. Therefore I don’t need to stress or push that I’m NOT living up the standard I’ve set for myself. I can trust that by simply being me, I’m doing what I can and sharing what I know. And any expectations that have been placed on me, by having exposed myself, are expectations that require me to simply continue healing what needs to be healed, learning what needs to be learned, speaking what needs to be spoken, writing what needs to be written.

The expectation is in the message and the message is HEALING and TRUTH. I trust myself enough that I’ll stand by what I speak and write and I’ll be an example. It’s safe to say, I’ve come so far, to trust that I CAN and WILL do everything in my power to stand by the truth that I’ve exposed, over these past 6 months, since launching the book. This is a huge step-up when taking my own healing process into account.

I’ve said this many times before and will say it again today: life really is a journey. I see now, clearer than ever before, how we’re all at different stages of evolution. Some of us have experienced more than others, learned more than others, seen more than others. However, it doesn’t mean we’re better or worse. It simply means we’re all at different stages, exposed to different circumstances. Yet we’re making this journey together. We’re all here to help each other along. We stretch our hands out to those behind us, so they can step easier to the next stage, just as those in front offer us a helping hand so we can lean temporarily and move onwards to even brighter platforms.

I’ve taken steps others are now finding the courage to take and I can offer a helping hand. That helping hand shows itself as my light and my words – either spoken or written. I can show how far I’ve since come and will continue to share how far I’ll still go as I express my journey that takes place in the light. Only that way can I ignite a spark in the darkness that others might be experiencing.

I know, in my heart, that I’m on the path leading towards living a free life whilst shining bright in the light of day, regardless of time, space and circumstance – not for wanting to be better than anybody else, but to feel in my heart, that I can be freer than I already am and then excel at what I’m doing if free is how I remain.

There aren’t any guarantees in life. We don’t know what the next stages will bring. All we can do is trust in our inner power and strength that keeps us alive, free and flowing through situations and experiences.

Bringing this back to the present day… I’m unknowing as to how things will unfold. But I’m trusting in the power of purpose and I’m taking it one step at a time.

I’ve been in Arklow 3 weeks now and I’m more connected to the world around me. I’m grounding myself and realizing I need to keep focussing on being HERE. I’m living more IN my body and stepping out of my head. I’m letting my heart open up to the world around me. And my god… how I’ve missed the connection! It’s already leading me onwards to where I need to be.

So it’s happy days… here in Ireland’s approaching springtime! A sure sign of new life, new times, new energy and new opportunities. What an amazing ride…

Full Exposure - Ireland AM

Yesterday, the 13th, I had an interview on Ireland AM - a national morning talk show. What an experience... One I'm so blessed to have had.

The day before, I put myself in something of a zone, so I could prepare and distance myself from the apprehensive nerves coming from those around me. Instead I needed to create something of a grounded excitement and not lose sight of the reason I was going on, in the first place. It wasn't for the hype surrounding LIVE television and meeting some Irish celebrities. No. I was going on so I could speak openly about my experiences and inspire where needs be.

I was stepping away from 'hiding' behind the words in my published book and moving towards exposing myself - not only through my spoken voice - but through my whole presence. It's as if the whole parcel of who I've become, since recovery, was presenting itself to the Irish world, all within the space of a 10-minute slot on national television yesterday morning.

I didn't actually realize how huge an impact this tv appearance could have, on viewers, as well as myself.... not until myself and Louise (the psychotherapist who came on the show with me - she's also become a lovely friend, since meeting her a few months ago, after she read my book) were waiting to take place on the lovely sitting room set-up, only 10 minutes before I was due to go on air. I had one moment of panic... 'Shit... I can't do this... I can't get up and speak to the nation... this is too much!!!' But I kept on breathing, kept on grounding myself, kept myself focussed and continued to remind myself WHY I was doing this. I had to ignore the thoughts that were going to block me from speaking my truth and cause me to stutter, fear and feel flustered. I had to erase the images of 100s and thousands of viewers, who would maybe either judging my appearance or hanging on my every word.

Instead of fuelling those thoughts, I stayed in my zone until I actually sat down on the couch and became familiar with the presenters. And, wow, how warm and welcoming they were...!! I felt so at home... Before we went on air, the lady simply said... 'Niamh, we're just having a chat, we're out for coffee and you're just telling us your story.' I thought.. 'Yes... I LOVE chatting over tea... and this will be fine...' Then, without even realizing, things started rolling and the flow soon came.

As I sat there, talking about such deep stuff, in the corner of my eye I saw the pictures of myself... The ones I never before thought I'd expose... to anybody... let alone the WHOLE OF IRELAND... It was the pictures of myself, at my lowest weight. They floated by on the large screen. Before going on air, I didn't know if they were going to show them, but I'd kind of prepared myself. Just as well I did, because when they floated by, I didn't panic. The images didn't snatch my train of thought or unsettle me. That was due to having grounded myself so firmly in the PURPOSE of WHY I was exposing myself so completely.

The reason behind it, was to give a reflection of an illness at its worst, a reflection of a person who is 'me', but really is somebody I no longer know, recognize or identify myself with. I did this, so I could stand beside them and say... 'This is where I've come from BUT this is where I'm at NOW...' I was so important, for myself too, to present the living, breathing expression of health I've so far become. It's what  a sufferer can also aim to be, once they start setting themselves free.

The road I've had to travel, before reaching a point where I feel strong enough in my sense of self and aware enough of where I stand in this life, has been a long one. But I'm finally able to stand up and say that person on the screen, weighing next to nothing, was somebody I once was. It's no longer who I am. In that time, I never imagined I'd, some day, in the relatively near future, choose to go on the television hoping to inspire others so they too can move through their pain and come out in to the light and stand in the brightness of this amazing life. But I finally did it... It was obviously intended.

After the interview, I was flying high. Myself and Louise were on fire... feeling so strongly we'd set something in motion and were doing amazingly beneficial work. We felt we wanted and COULD heal the world... It was as if something had only started and there was HUGE work to do... I felt I WOULD do it.

Hours later, I was landing, of course. I was at home, starting to feel drained and overwhelmed by what I'd done and the supportive response I was getting. A critical voice inside my head was trying to get the better of me... I, briefly, started doubting WHY I'd chosen to expose myself... I started fearing judgment and rejection from this world. It's all old stuff, that will try to hold me back - especially when I'd climbed a mountain that morning by revealing myself so completely to the whole of Ireland.

Yet... I accepted what was happening. I understood WHY I was feeling doubts and fears. And instantly, in that acceptance, the emotions subsided and I was calm. I knew I'd done the right thing, by exposing myself so fully. In that, I felt more in my strength than I've felt in a very very long time. It's almost as if I can say... 'I've arrived'. I don't know where exactly... I don't know how exactly... All I know is that it feels deeply empowering, liberating and indestructible.

This is the link to the recording on the tv3 website. You can copy and paste and hopefully have a look.

http://www.tv3.ie/3player/show/184/59215/1/Ireland-AM

Question time

Today I realized that this whole set-up – cottage in the west of Ireland, tea in the pot, fire at night, snuggly in a blanket – is actually something I envisioned myself to be experiencing, in around 20 or 30 years’ time! Wouw… I must be old before my time! Not to worry... I know this is only temporary. I know there's a time for coming, a time for stationing and a time for moving again. And now, is my time to be stationed.

I’ve only been here just over a week, and already it feels like a whole lot longer. The space feels to change every day, depending on what I’m doing or how much time I spend here. So much happens, but I can’t exactly say what! I have moments when I think… ‘oh god, what have I let myself in for…’ Putting myself in a cottage, so alone and only connecting with people if I consciously go out and make the effort. But then I have moments when I’m so excited by how much work I can get done here. In my moments of panic I have to realize that this is the only situation that would reveal what needs to be unveiled and I couldn’t have chosen any other direction, other than this. This is exactly what I wished for. And I got it. For now, I’m still adjusting and settling. I’m still trying this… (even if it's a trial for 6 months). I can't know yet if it’s actually what I want. But I guess it’s what I need otherwise it wouldn’t have come to me so easily?! 

As well it’s like, for so long, we can want something so badly. We do what we can to make it happen, we wait patiently and we trust that it’s on its way. And then when it suddenly appears and we make it happen… It suddenly becomes the ultimate test to see if what we wished for really is the thing we want and if we have what it takes to make it work out for us. It will be interesting to see if I can actually do this; staying here by myself, without too much isolation and still working on writing a book and promoting the first.

Oh, just touching the subject of the book… The best thing happened the other day. I was in Galway city, had a few bits and pieces to sort out. I randomly walked into the Dubray bookstore on Shop street (the main street in the city centre). I thought I’d check out the genre Irish Biography. And wouw… there it was… 2 copies of Digesting Wisdom right beside a very well-known Irish author Martha Long. Yay! What a cool moment that was. It’s actually the first time for me to walk into a store and to see it on the shelves! Woopdidoo!!!!!!!!!!! 

To stay on the topic of the book. I keep hearing myself saying: 'I’m working on promoting the book'. But what am I actually doing? Well… give me a minute… hummm… Ah yes… At the moment promotion involves contacting quite a few organizations that are focused on eating disorder treatment. As well I'm  networking with some therapists and a few authors, offering them my story for reading and further recommendation. We’re starting to organize a few signings too! The first one is set on the 1^st of December in Arklow! Brilliant… And in relation to that, we’re getting the advertisements sorted. I think so far, we’ve contacted every radio station in the country to see if they’ll let me on for an interview. But to be honest, only a tiny fraction has replied... Ouch! So that’s proving a little difficult.

On a whole, it’s quite a slow process. And I – unrealistically – expected for it to be something that would take off without any effort whatsoever. Oops… Ah well, not to worry. I guess this all a part of learning. Because I’m only a novice, a beginner, so new to this business. It helps that I'm starting to be more patient and more trusting that the media channels we’re trying to get to open up to us, will soon start working with us, so the book will reach those who need it. 

In the past I've read articles from authors, sharing their experiences with publishing. Some say that the writing of the book is the hardest part. I’m not too sure about that… Because this step in the publishing journey, is quite tough. And because of this, it’s also quite hard to sit back, relax and savour the fact that the book is in print and that the hard work I put in, whilst I was writing it, is already paying off... Because there’s still work to be done… On certain moments I wonder WHAT exactly. Because I’ve no real idea what could come my way, or what direction I actually WANT to steer this is in. Maybe I’ve spent far too much time waiting for something to happen and now it’s time for me to stand up MAKE things happen for myself. And maybe this space and the time I now have is all in aid of that… 

Synchronicities at play...

Over the past month or so, my focus deviated itself from book promotion to house hunting. I lost so much focus, that, at one stage, when anybody would ask me: ‘So, Niamh, how’s the book going?’ I’d actually be a little speechless and wouldn’t know what to answer, because I felt I’d hardly done anything to keep the promotion going and chose not to engage in the sales figures (not just yet anyhow). I’ve since been able to make peace with the fact that I let my focus slip away… for the first time in my life! Being ‘fine’ with something that would usually wreck my head completely, means, again for the first time, that I wasn’t judging myself from a place of anger, resentment, force or frustration. Nope. I just simply said… ‘Wouw… I really did loose focus for reasons of which I’m aware, and I’m totally fine with the fact that I had to deviate slightly…’ (Without having focused on house hunting and moving onwards, I’d not be where I am today… so it’s all perfect!) 

As well since this realization has hit home I’ve been able to see everything from that same angle… from a vision without force, or frustration, or criticism.  And everything feels so much more… accepted, easy, exciting and light... I’m more open due to feeling less pressurized and less angry with myself for experiencing a brief period of de-motivation. Also I’m appreciating MORE of what I’ve got, how far I’ve come and the responses (in relation to the book) that have been coming my way, without searching for them. I’m once again connected to the magic of life and can see the synchronicities that are happening…

Just an example… Today (Thursday the 25^th) I arranged to meet with an eating disorder therapist in the holistic clinic BODHI, which is in Gorey (a town just 15 min south of Arklow). Her name is Louise Doran and I found out about her around 2 months ago when I contacted the Eating Disorder Resource Centre of Ireland (EDRCI). The founder of EDRCI, Suzanne Horgan, was delighted when I told her about the book and was eager to read it (hopefully this will lead to further recommendations as well as a review). So we’ve since sent Suzan a copy. When we were in contact, she also gave me the contact details of Louise in Gorey saying she’d be interested too. I rang her shortly afterwards, we chatted on the phone and she too was excited to hear about the book (I’d said I’d drop a copy in the letterbox) and we also arranged a meeting. And that meeting was today (the 25^th of Oct).

From the word ‘go’ it was as though we’d been friends for ages. Wouw. The connection was instant… And I wasn’t 2 minutes in the door when I met another amazing lady, Neasa. She’s the most humble girl you’d meet, considering the amount of work and training she’s already undertaken as well as the fact that she’s the founder of this Gorey-based BODHI clinic (which houses a massive range of holistic therapies; Yoga, meditation, Pilates, massage, nutrition, Reiki, reflexology, acupuncture… on and on the list goes!) at the tiny age of 30… Wouw… She’s an inspiring girl to say the least.

Anyhow, the welcome I got from both of them was huge… Neasa said it was as though she already knew me as she’d heard so much about me. Hummm… There I was… shocked, excited but oh so intrigued. This girl, a stranger to me… How can she feel to know me already?

Well, this is where the synchronicities come into play… Neasa started telling me this story. One day - around 6 or 7 weeks ago - Neasa, Louise and their friend were meeting for lunch across the road from the clinic in the Book Café… (which is where I launched the book. There are quite a few copies on sale there). The book caught their eye. Their friend picked it up, opened it on a random page, read it and it struck a chord within him (even though he hadn’t any food issues). He was adamant to buy the book and 5 minutes later… Yay! The book was his! There’s nothing strange about that really. The book simply fell into his hands at the right time, right place, and opened itself up on the right page… which was enough for him to want to read the whole story. (Actually, this may sound normal, but I find it quite amazing!)

As little happening was taking place in the Book Café, at around the same time, there’s Niamh… sitting in her room in Arklow… staring out the window, just after getting a contact number from Suzan Horgan of a lady in Gorey. I sat, pondering whether or not to ring a complete stranger (Louise), explain my story and ask her if she’d like a copy of the book! When I finally DID pluck up the courage to ring her and told her about my story, Louise hadn’t yet made the click between the book in the Book Café and my phone call. It wasn’t until later that she started putting the puzzle together… ‘Oh my god…’ she thought, ‘I just got a call from the author of the book with elephant, the book that’s on sale in the Book Café across the road!’

They told me all of this today. Man, the excitement they’d been experiencing, just because I’d randomly contacted Louise asking for her help in reading, reviewing and further recommending the story! This was such a cool moment… I stood there, 2 people who were only strangers to me 5 minutes beforehand, and we were all on the same page… Digesting Wisdom’s page! Whoohooo!

I felt it to be so reassuring to hear that this was happening, without my awareness. Isn’t it magic! Then, Louise went on to tell me that she’d actually lost the copy that I’d delivered, all those weeks ago. She was on the plane and during take-off it dropped to the floor and slid underneath the seats behind her. She went looking for it, once the plane landed, but it had disappeared… She wasn’t upset, because somebody else has now got it! And she bought her own copy from the Book Café! Yay! I was just amazed at how things have been evolving, unknowingly.

It was great to get to know these girls. They’re so switched-on, totally understanding, open and doing amazing work at the same time. We sat and spoke for a couple of hours, which was unexpected but so refreshing. It was also huge for me to hear from strangers that it’s an important book. Because I’ve sometimes been wondering if it’s just me who thinks it’s important? Have I deluded myself into thinking this book can really spark-off chords within ANYBODY? But hearing today that a total stranger, who had never before heard of me (and therefore had no reason to buy it ‘just because they know the author’) and who is unaffected by eating disorders… just tells me soooooooooooooo much! This book really IS for anybody!!! I haven’t deluded myself at all…

It just shows as well that things really ARE happening with this book and it’s taking on a life of it’s own. Brilliant :)