Yoga life taking over

So. Here I am, ‘reporting’ from the ashram in Neyyardam. It’s Friday afternoon and I’m in the most beautiful place. It’s jungle-like. It’s ‘monsooning’ and between 25 and 30 degrees. Palm trees everywhere… At night there are lions roaring in the distance (and mosquitoes buzzing up close but not able to touch me, because I’m sleeping under a (pink) mosquito net). This whole setting is exactly as I remember it. But probably a little better… Because this time, I’m fresher. When I was here in July of last year, I was at the end of my trip. I’d been on-the-go for months and was, when comparing my level of energy to now, exhausted. I remember to have had the flu as well. Back then, I was heading slowly to Europe without any real plans. All I knew was that I was going to Rome, to take a chance on love (!!!). I had no real notion as to how to get back to India AFTER Rome. Although I knew I had to come back… It just took a little longer than the 2 months I’d hoped it would take… (14 in total) Something I’ve learnt is that it was only natural for me to find my way back to Ireland. Which is totally cool, by the way, because now I’m back in India, with a manuscript literally weighing in my backpack as well as taking up some space on my hard drive! Yay…. Life is good…

But, to stick to the point at hand; the difference between then and now is that I know I’ll not be heading to Europe any time soon. I’ll always be making plans… Because the DO need to be made, or else nothing gets done. Plans can always be altered, of course… But it’s just important not to cling to them, for ‘dear life’ and flexibility is the key to effortlessly travelling with some kind of ‘itinerary’ in hand to guide us forward.

Weeks ago, when I was in China thinking so much of getting to this little spot of magic, I thought that I’d be feeling flat, exhausted and in need of the ashram to ‘look after me’. By that I mean; I thought I wanted the daily schedule to take me over and I thought I wanted to be controlled by the rules and the routine by which we must all abide, whilst staying here. I thought that China would have taken more of a toll of my body and that by being controlled I’d have nothing to do but reflect on where I’ve just come from and work through whatever I needed to. But things never go as we expect them to… Because after the first few days I realized my body is a lot stronger than I gave it credit for and by leaving China, I’ve already worked through and dealt with so much. I’m seeing clearly that I know a lot more about what I really hope will happen, during my time here in India.

I say that now, a week after arriving. But during the first few days, I wasn’t so clear at all about how my body would cope and how my mind would process China. I didn’t know if I was capable of moving myself through this process of change, whilst being here in the ashram.

This is what was going on: I was still very much on-the-go… Well, my mind was on the go. It felt to take forever before I was able to calm myself down and to totally take to the schedule and accept that I was here to do yoga. Because there was so much else going on and I hardly any time to start ‘disposing’ of my stuff, when it came to journaling, blogging and emailing. The biggest problem was finding the time to actually reflect. Because the schedule was, and still is, fully booked with chanting sessions, meditations, yoga classes (4hours a day), helping out in the ashram and eating communally. The schedule takes up every waking hour, expect for 2 hours of free time to… shower in cold water (which I love by the way… reminds me of where I am), to wash our clothes by hand (also very therapeutic) and to, if we’re lucky and have internet connection, check maybe 1 or 2 emails…

The yoga life was taking me over and I was absorbed in everything and everybody around me… and inside I was going berserk for not writing as much as I felt I needed to. This lasted for the first 2 or 3 days. It may not sound like a lot, but believe me, in a place like this, it’s a LONG time… My mind was either telling me to leave the ashram and go somewhere where I’d have proper me-time, so as to write. And this urge got stronger every time I heard from other travellers that they were leaving - which happens daily here… as there’s a steady flow of western people. This, I guess, was only natural reaction, seeing as though I came here ‘in such a rush’… But I forced myself through that stage, I had to and I’ve since let the daily schedule control me… Most times, happily…