Negative Nancy

A short recap of the daytrip ‘from hell’: I was there by 8am and already it was roasting hot. I walked only 50m and already the rickshaw drivers, the tour guides, the restaurant owners were bombarding me; the first western girl of the day, who was alone and ‘obviously’ easily to coax into overspending on services she ‘must be in need of’… Well, they were after the wrong girl! Because I ignored, I walked away, I scowled and tried to be unaffected. I was going to do the ‘tourist thing’ all by myself, without needing contact with anybody!!!! Hummm…

This was quite possible, but it wasn’t really the way to make my day a happy one… Because, man, what was I full of hatred towards the people and the whole place…!!!!! It only increased when I went to buy a ticket to explore the temples and read the sign that said Indians: 10 rupees per person, ALL OTHERS 250 rupees per person!!!!!!!! Well, never have I seen so blatantly advertised in black and white, just how much foreigners are being overcharged. It wasn’t just twice or three times the price – something I would’ve swallowed a lot easier. But it was 25 TIMES THE PRICE!!!!!!!! I couldn’t believe the cheek of these Indians!!! At that moment, my hatred wasn’t only growing towards the Indians in that particular town. Oh no, it was now towards the entire state. Nevertheless, I paid, even with huge disgust… And of course, things didn’t really brighten from that point onwards (no matter how bright the sky was or how severely that sun was shining). I was walking around the sculptures and temples, trying to be interested, forcing myself to enjoy and trying to ignore the local Indian men who were hanging around the ‘western girl who was alone’. But, I was miserable! It got hotter, I got more agitated… I didn’t have proper sunscreen, so I was using an umbrella (at first it was only as protection from the sun, but soon it was to avoid anybody seeing my face of thunder - it worked a treat by the way!) And then, to make matters worse… The battery of my camera died!!!! Just when I thought that by taking cool pictures, I’d feel better and at least have something to show for the miserable hours I was forcing myself to spend in that town… But even that didn’t work!!!! Whhhaaaa…!!!!!!!!!!! By 10am I was so ready and willing to leave. My battery was exhausted… and it wasn’t only the one in my camera, it was my own personal one too. I needed to recharge, but given the environment, it was impossible; there was hardly no shelter, the umbrella for protection was a menace, and suddenly I didn’t care if the world of Mamallupuram was a witness of my anger expression… My head too felt to spontaneously nearly combust, due to the heat and my feet were on fire.

It was so strange to hate everything so much. I was walking around, wondering what the hell I was doing and getting more frustrated that I couldn’t shake my mood. The fact was, I simply didn’t want to be there and I probably didn’t even want to go in the first place. I realized I don’t have an interest in archaeology… The only things that sparked something off were the monkeys, the cows, the goats and the trees…

Anyhow, by 11.30am I was done… Most tourists would take a full day to properly explore and get a feel for the history. But, 3 hours after hopping off the bus, I was jumping back onboard! And only then, when I was sitting comfortably by the window and the bus started moving, did I start to smile again. The relief I felt to be getting out of that place, was huge.

So I sat, and I let my thoughts float and couldn’t help but laugh at the whole morning, or laugh at my spoilt behaviour and my anger. Then I suddenly was loving India again. I loved that I was on the bumpy bus, I loved that the windows wouldn’t shut and that I was being blown to smithereens almost, as we raced around every bend, at high speed. I didn’t care about the stares from fellow passengers, or about the different smells coming from outside. I didn’t care about the heat, or about the men doing their business so openly along the roadside. I didn’t care that the lady next me had a sticky arm, that was sticking to my sticky arm and that when I gave her a smile, she returned one and revealed dirty red stained teeth from chewing paan. Non of these things disgusted or irritated me. And I was delighted to be feeling fine with everything again! What a crazy morning…

Once I was back at the house, I spilled my thoughts of the temple town of Mamallapuram… And they weren’t positive. But I didn’t care. It’s how I personally experienced it and I don’t have to claim something was something it wasn’t, just for ‘needing to always be the positive Polly’. I’m only human, which means I too can be a ‘negative Nancy’. And I reckon that being either one doesn’t make me good or bad, right or wrong… it makes me simply… me.