Time-out

Friday- I was a little low and too absorbed in the internet and ‘sorting’ things. My energy was being zapped and I still hadn’t caught up on the 2 manic weeks of travels. So Saturday was painful. I hit a slump and negativity started to creep in, doubts about being here were racing through my mind and I was taking on vibes that weren’t serving a purpose at all! It was simply due to being tired… STILL… So I needed rest; everything had caught up with me and I was drained…

(just a note in between… I know I’m going to get side-tracked here, but so be it!) I seem to write these words a lot: drained, tired, energy… Is that a sign? Or not really a sign, but it’s my clarity that I’m low on what I need, so as to keep up with myself. Physically I mean. An ongoing problem has been the following: a spirit so full of life, but not always having a body that can carry this spirit in the manner desired… (this is also my reason for not yet heading to Nepal).

As a result of this regular reoccurring weakness, I’m very much up and down… unbalanced. And Saturday was a perfect example. I was lower than Thurday, but higher than Friday, then a few hours later I was lower than Friday, then an hour later I was just as high as Thursday! Whaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you keep up? I can’t… haha… All I can say is that I’m seeing how ‘all over the place’ I’ve been. I guess that’s the start of bringing the balance back into my days. And last night I started… How did I choose to rebalance? By lying flat on my back in my little homely and clean box room, that has incense burning and my Indian sari (dress material) on the window, with my eyes shut, in silence, for hours… (after talking the ears off ma for I don’t know how long, about my excitement for life, about the people I’ve met, about what I’m learning, creating, envisioning).

So, eventually I was lying down for hours, no music, no sound… nothing only my own head. And man oh man, it was heaven! I ended up dosing for ages, and the travels were whirling through my mind; I was starting to see my current position and how far I’ve come since lying on that same bed, a year ago.

Then my mam comes in: ‘Niamh, there’s someone on the phone from England!’ I wondered who would call on my mams mobile, looking for me… It actually wasn’t anybody from England at all, but from Australia! It was Jason (the guy I spent 6 months travelling and working with, back in 2009). I hadn’t spoken to him for 2 years! And it ‘just so happened’ that he calls my mam, on my 4th day back, looking for me! How cool is that!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t tell you how happy I was to hear his voice again. We’ve been texting each other ever since we split. But talking is always different than jotting down a few lines in a text message. And this was special… Man oh man…

I’m not going to say it was a coincidence for him to have rung. I don’t believe in coincidences anymore. But I know everything happens for a reason and so-called ‘coincidences’ aren’t to be brushed aside, as if being unimportant. Nope… And, as for his call, I don’t know what it meant, but it sure as hell felt great!

Wouw… this made me realize just how much we can move and meet new people, but the old ones, will never forget and connections don’t always wear thin. We travel and more and more people enter our lives, making it richer.

Since being back I can honestly say, even in my unbalanced state, that I feel closer to all the people who I’ve been privileged to cross paths with, over the past years. I feel everyone is ‘here’. I feel open to the world and to new experiences. How strange for this to happen, when I’m NOT actually moving and lying on my bed in a cute little box room! Crazy is this life…