The journey continues. As it always does. These past 2 weeks, since getting back from the meditation course, have been huge. Nothing actually visible to the eye, has happened. But in myself I've experienced great changes. After the course, it took me a few days to process what had come to the surface (you can only imagine what can arise from within when you're sitting trying to surpass your thoughts and connect to your deeper self, by observing the breathe for hours and hours on end). It also took me a few days to actually feel comfortable with talking, and being around noise again... For a few days, I was feeling fragile and exposed... Almost scared to be a part of the world. But I was so calm and at ease too. What an amazing state to be in...
I've set the discipline and rhythm now, so I can maintain my practice (one hour in the morning and one hour in the evening). Most will say this is too long, it's unnecessary, over the top and if I want to become a vegetable, then I'm going the right way about it! Well... this is sooooo not what's happening! I'm nowhere near becoming a vegetable, for continuing to practice so disciplined!! I can actually say that I'm more pro-active and full of energy! It's actually blown me away how clear my mind is and how the insights are still emerging, during both the day and night. It's unreal, how this meditation is helping my writing... The amount I'm getting done! It's huge.. Last week for example I was editing the book for the last time. Usually it would take me at least a week... But with the space in my head, it took me only 2 days! Such mental power...Even my daily yoga practice has deepened and evolved...
So, this is what occupies me daily... And it will seem that my current circumstances in life will are pretty basic. But to me, life becoming deeper and more powerful. I've been able to expand into the second book, effortlessly, and I know that by keeping up the practice, the writing will continue to flow. Worlds are opening up and I'm moving in many different directions... And still, to the outside world it will appear... motionless... simply because I'm in Ireland, in Arklow, living temporarily with my mam, at my grand age of 29!!!
That's okay though. I'm here, I accept my place, I'm grateful for what Ireland is bringing to me and I love it more than ever before. Here at home, I'm so free to do and be what I want. I have silence when I need it, I have commotion that brings me into balance. This keeps me grounded, so I can write. I'm establishing greater and stronger connections with those around me, because I'm connecting more strongly with ME. So, things will always be changing, moving, evolving.
Slowly a part of me says I have to start thinking a little further beyond the next 2 months... Because for now, up until the end of August, my days are filled. I'll be getting on with the second book I'm writing and the first book is going to the printers next week, which we hope will be released sometime the beginning of July. There'll be some promotion work coming up for that (not too sure what that involves, but time will tell). And time flies doesn't it... It's so precious to savor every minute of everyday and to do the best and most work we can... Before it slips away...
So maybe I do need to start thinking about whether to start moving again... Should I go soon(ish)? When I ask this question, at this point in my life, it's sooooo important that I realize WHAT part of me is asking this. I have to be so careful to realize, honestly, what part of ME would feel the need to travel any time soon... In finding the truth I also have to realize HOW I wish to sustain myself, whilst I move. Do I want to teach again? Do I want to expand my yoga practice and get training and experience? Do I want to search the world for another story to write? That last suggestion sounds more real than anything! Eventually... it shall come. Step by step... things will become clear. Whatever it is that's meant to sustain me, my growth, my work... It will come to me. I'll remain aware and life will guide me, bringing me what it is I need so I can move deeper into the reality of life. Until next time, I'll continue to tap away on the laptop!
I've set the discipline and rhythm now, so I can maintain my practice (one hour in the morning and one hour in the evening). Most will say this is too long, it's unnecessary, over the top and if I want to become a vegetable, then I'm going the right way about it! Well... this is sooooo not what's happening! I'm nowhere near becoming a vegetable, for continuing to practice so disciplined!! I can actually say that I'm more pro-active and full of energy! It's actually blown me away how clear my mind is and how the insights are still emerging, during both the day and night. It's unreal, how this meditation is helping my writing... The amount I'm getting done! It's huge.. Last week for example I was editing the book for the last time. Usually it would take me at least a week... But with the space in my head, it took me only 2 days! Such mental power...Even my daily yoga practice has deepened and evolved...
So, this is what occupies me daily... And it will seem that my current circumstances in life will are pretty basic. But to me, life becoming deeper and more powerful. I've been able to expand into the second book, effortlessly, and I know that by keeping up the practice, the writing will continue to flow. Worlds are opening up and I'm moving in many different directions... And still, to the outside world it will appear... motionless... simply because I'm in Ireland, in Arklow, living temporarily with my mam, at my grand age of 29!!!
That's okay though. I'm here, I accept my place, I'm grateful for what Ireland is bringing to me and I love it more than ever before. Here at home, I'm so free to do and be what I want. I have silence when I need it, I have commotion that brings me into balance. This keeps me grounded, so I can write. I'm establishing greater and stronger connections with those around me, because I'm connecting more strongly with ME. So, things will always be changing, moving, evolving.
Slowly a part of me says I have to start thinking a little further beyond the next 2 months... Because for now, up until the end of August, my days are filled. I'll be getting on with the second book I'm writing and the first book is going to the printers next week, which we hope will be released sometime the beginning of July. There'll be some promotion work coming up for that (not too sure what that involves, but time will tell). And time flies doesn't it... It's so precious to savor every minute of everyday and to do the best and most work we can... Before it slips away...
So maybe I do need to start thinking about whether to start moving again... Should I go soon(ish)? When I ask this question, at this point in my life, it's sooooo important that I realize WHAT part of me is asking this. I have to be so careful to realize, honestly, what part of ME would feel the need to travel any time soon... In finding the truth I also have to realize HOW I wish to sustain myself, whilst I move. Do I want to teach again? Do I want to expand my yoga practice and get training and experience? Do I want to search the world for another story to write? That last suggestion sounds more real than anything! Eventually... it shall come. Step by step... things will become clear. Whatever it is that's meant to sustain me, my growth, my work... It will come to me. I'll remain aware and life will guide me, bringing me what it is I need so I can move deeper into the reality of life. Until next time, I'll continue to tap away on the laptop!
hi,
ReplyDeletenice to read another of your blog-posts. You write clearly and to the point. i am also a Vipassana meditator from South India. i did a ten days course as recently as in May 2012. i have read the experience of so many Vipassana meditators, but i found your posts interesting as you were not just euphoric and not just satisfied with the ten day course. Most importanly you are devoting two precious hours of you day for the meditation. Now that is what i would call the spark. Seems you are on the right path. i love to follow your posts to find out what comes out of your strenuous efforts the coming days.
Good luck to you along with peace and happiness
Wouw, Thank you so much! I'm only reading your reply today. This really has filled me with a lot of... ease. Life can be such a challenge at times, but I feel blessed for this art of Vipassana. It's given me so much and the only way I feel I can return what it (or simply LIFE) has offered me, is by practising. Nothing happens for nothing in life and Vipassana happened for LIFE.
ReplyDeleteI'm delighted that you were able to find something in my posts. Really. That's all I wish to come from what I write.
Where did you do your course? I did my first 10 days in Chengannur, Kerala.
I wish you too so much joy and amazing discoveries throughout.
Take care, Metta to Amazing India