Today, the 27th of January.. Yesterday, the 26th of January. I woke up and knew it was going to be a big day. I wasn’t at all wrong. It was big in the sense that I had to finally make a decision. And it happened! But easy it was not, I can tell you. After days of deliberating, hesitating, doubting I was feeling all the more torn, distraught, excited and confused. I contemplated to the point of not knowing what the word contemplation actually meant.
It seems to be the thing I’m doing the most: Making decisions. But everyday, every single person on this earth has to make choices and live by these choices. So why do I always seems to struggle when it comes to this “thing” in life which leads me to where I want to go; the “thing” being the decision making process. It’s because the choices can be pretty major, when I realize or try to figure out what the consequences of my actions could be. So every decision is risk. Life is risk and we’re just playing the game..
What did this particular “decision making process” regard? Well, I’ll go back a few weeks and tell the story from the start (oh no, here she goes again!!). I arrived here in Brisbane around the 9th of January, feeling tired, relieved, happy, calm, settled, excited and eager. My days were gorgeous, the weather was hot, the surroundings so peaceful, and the company was perfect. I had my own room, double bed, books, journal, swimming pool, sun and hours of time to enjoy it all! Everyday I practised yoga and really got inspired by just about everything. One day flowed into the next. And with so much time, what else was I to do, besides be so happy, but process all that had gone on over the past weeks and months. As well I was able to figure out what my next step would be and how best to approach it and make it a reality.
The options were endless in my head. Each day, the visions would float around, teasing me almost, with what I could possibly experience. They were driving me, motivating me. Each night as I would watch tv, I wouldn’t actually be tuned-in to what was on the screen, instead I was dreaming: I was everywhere in the world, except in the sitting room sitting on the sofa next to Wayne, as the commercial-breaks were trying to convince me that their product was the best. This world, this world, this world.. So many different approaches and lifestyles to sample. This one I was currently experiencing, was one I felt, in the bigger picture of my life, that I had sampled a lot of. And I didn’t want it to become too much and then for the appreciation to disappear. But which lifestyle did I want more of? I knew the answer to that all along..
But.. Before deciding when and how to get to that beautiful place I’ve been dreaming of, I had to decide whether or not Ireland was calling me at this present time. The end of February is my godson (!!!!)Cians christening. The past weeks, I did nothing other than try to figure out if I was able to travel to a beautiful continent as well as visit the beautiful family back home. Would my finances allow it? Would my time allow it? Would my conscious allow it? I was so close to my dream becoming reality, that to risk losing it by returning to Ireland for a visit - due to either losing my motivation as well as finding myself low in funds - was something I wasn’t sure I’d be able to live with. Days went by and I was bending my balance in every which way it would allow me to bend. But it wasn’t flexible. Not by a long-shot. So. When it comes to decisions in life, I started to see that even though we can want so much in life, we can’t have everything all at once. And to make one thing happen we have to fully focus on it. Or else we go through life just dreaming and talking but never acting and so the decisions can remain unmade and things are never seen through.
I posed myself with the question: Do I want to go home, at the end of February to visit for a while? Of course I did. So much so, that it was keeping me from my sleep. But was I able to go home and still follow through these visions that I would be having as I’d sit and watch telly each night? The answer was simple: No. So, I then asked myself: could I live with myself, if going to Ireland would turn out to be the reason for me NOT having that dream come true? I’d have dealt with it, but it would have been a missed opportunity..
Last week I felt that my dream was so close. I could almost reach out and touch it, feel it, see it. It was right there. I was making it happen. And because it was all happening in real life too, as the practicalities slowly fell into place, I was so sure that this was my time. It was not yet my time to visit Ireland. I had to face facts. Plans needed to get underway. And for these plans to start taking off, I had to contact home and break the news that I wasn’t coming back at the end of February for Cian’s christening. I really wanted to do everything in my power to get back for that special occasion. But the circumstances just weren’t allowing it, not yet anyhow. I had to follow this plan through that was almost taking place, my plan, but not until home knew what I was facing, I wasn’t yet in that plan.. So I put my idea and myself “out there”. And of course, they were so supportive and understanding! It was so amazing. That kind of understanding struck so much inside of me. It was almost heartbreaking to suddenly say that I wouldn’t be back just yet. And that came as a shock because I’m not homesick. Not at this point in time anyhow. But I still felt awful. Usually when big decisions take so long to make, it can be relief when they’re made. Instead, I felt the opposite! I felt like I was letting everyone down, and myself too. Because I had my heart so set on it. But everything soon settled and there was no more guilt and I didn’t feel selfish for choosing to pursue this dream. I knew it would be fine.
This was only the beginning.. More to come!
Showing posts with label Caboolture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Caboolture. Show all posts
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Soulful Living
12 Days Later- I sit on the porch at Trish and Eds’ place. I contemplate, I think, I rationalize each day.. Deciding where to go and deciding what to do.. The opportunities, the places, the options. Endless may seem the list in my head, but once it comes to following them through, it can come to a sudden stop and the list is empty. Or it can seem too full almost, that clear vision has gone. And all is blank..
Each day I question and perhaps find the wrong answer, or I answer without realizing that the question doesn’t fit or even exist. Each day I practice what I want: Which is: the art of “moving” in my mind, before getting geared up to move in the physical sense. But, no! Hang on, I’m not trying to move in my mind. That’s what I have to avoid because it makes my vision too blurred and the options fade away and the “list“ becomes blank, even when I’m wearing contact lenses. So the art of “moving” - within, and therefore soulfully. Does this reveal what I need? Or is it deceiving me?
To be in this world, in the manner we wish and therefore to move each day, requires action. Prior to these actions, once must make a decision, or else the action will never be taken. So, as I practice the “art of moving”, here on the porch in Brisbane, I venture inside, each day, so I can eventually venture outside, into the big wide world, once again. Physical action that comes from the soul is what I’m aiming for. So, if I create a chain in my mind and follow this through: For my eventual actions in the physical world to have soul and to be heartfelt, it needs a decision that is also of the heart and thus of the soul. And as I already mentioned: to take action, first a decision has to be made. The chain goes on: A decision can only be made when someone has a particular intention And if one wants to live soulfully, that intention needs to come from within. And that’s where it all starts, it’s the source. It’s where I practice the “art of moving” - within. So is this a simple and short summary of what soulful living is? Is it the chain we have to follow: The intention can be so deep, but it’s brought into the awareness, which leads to the decision that you make. This decision is then in the mind, so it becomes possible to take action and the movement follows flowingly. All this is with so much feeling as they are wholehearted actions and so they possess all the security within themselves, because you know what you’re doing is coming from somewhere deep. You know it’s a passion, a dream, a desire, or whatever beautiful word you want to give it. And with that security there is never a worry or a doubt that the decision which was made, after finding out what the intention was, could have been influenced by the distractions that were possibly brought on by just being in this world. It’s real, it’s pure, it’s your truth.
BUT…(There’s always a but!!) When there are different things that will fill your heart, and when you feel that life is only happening right here and now, then what direction is the right one? What if you want so much but are forced to prioritize, because of certain circumstances, and could end up hurting others? What if, no matter what the decision, the thing you decide NOT to do, makes your heart feel like it’s breaking? The fact that turning your back on a certain thing, led you to feel heartbroken, is a sure sign it was a heartfelt intention. Which is great reassurance when it comes to self doubt as to whether or not you are following your heart, in the first place. So whatever you decide to do, feels wrong. But, if every decision will be the wrong one, then can’t every decision also be the right one? If I feel like I can’t win either way, then can’t I choose to feel like I CAN win either way?
When it comes to soulful living, I know the chain I must follow through in order for the actions to become apparent. The heartbreak should stop, or it already has, as I’ve realized what I must do on this journey. The next step is finding out whether or not everything will fall into place. If it’s meant to be, it will be. If not, all is not lost.. Or nothing is lost. And that’s when the vast amount of opportunities that this life offers us, goes from feeling overwhelming to feeling like a blessing. Because we never stop living, we never stop dreaming, choices still need to be made.. And it’s, again, up to us to take action, when it’s decision-time and we are again presented with opportunities.. So, we happily follow the chain once more.. And on and on it goes.. It’s constant and never really stops.. What a whirlwind of emotions it brings about, as the heart is touched with every choice you make.. All by practicing the “art of moving” within. Wouw!
No matter what the outcome, there is behind every event, situation, circumstance or action, a hidden meaning. And not until we follow things through, we can find out what it was and learn that lesson. To use the word “outcome” isn’t really fitting, when I relate this “mumbo-jumbo” that I’ve just written, to my own personal decision-making process. Because I don’t know where I eventually want to be or what I eventually want to do. Or, actually I do: I want all that I’m doing right here and now; which is living soulfully and truthfully and living for moment whilst being detached from the outcome. Me having just said what I said, actually answers everything I’ve been asking myself about what to do or where to go, and what action to take: I’m already doing what I want, so needn’t do much more!! And besides the fact that the outcome doesn’t really matter to me at this stage in my life (as I’m living my dream as I sit here and write), there’s nothing that lasts forever, everything comes to an end, everything is temporary and changing constantly. And that’s the beauty of it. It’s the mystery of life.
Each day I question and perhaps find the wrong answer, or I answer without realizing that the question doesn’t fit or even exist. Each day I practice what I want: Which is: the art of “moving” in my mind, before getting geared up to move in the physical sense. But, no! Hang on, I’m not trying to move in my mind. That’s what I have to avoid because it makes my vision too blurred and the options fade away and the “list“ becomes blank, even when I’m wearing contact lenses. So the art of “moving” - within, and therefore soulfully. Does this reveal what I need? Or is it deceiving me?
To be in this world, in the manner we wish and therefore to move each day, requires action. Prior to these actions, once must make a decision, or else the action will never be taken. So, as I practice the “art of moving”, here on the porch in Brisbane, I venture inside, each day, so I can eventually venture outside, into the big wide world, once again. Physical action that comes from the soul is what I’m aiming for. So, if I create a chain in my mind and follow this through: For my eventual actions in the physical world to have soul and to be heartfelt, it needs a decision that is also of the heart and thus of the soul. And as I already mentioned: to take action, first a decision has to be made. The chain goes on: A decision can only be made when someone has a particular intention And if one wants to live soulfully, that intention needs to come from within. And that’s where it all starts, it’s the source. It’s where I practice the “art of moving” - within. So is this a simple and short summary of what soulful living is? Is it the chain we have to follow: The intention can be so deep, but it’s brought into the awareness, which leads to the decision that you make. This decision is then in the mind, so it becomes possible to take action and the movement follows flowingly. All this is with so much feeling as they are wholehearted actions and so they possess all the security within themselves, because you know what you’re doing is coming from somewhere deep. You know it’s a passion, a dream, a desire, or whatever beautiful word you want to give it. And with that security there is never a worry or a doubt that the decision which was made, after finding out what the intention was, could have been influenced by the distractions that were possibly brought on by just being in this world. It’s real, it’s pure, it’s your truth.
BUT…(There’s always a but!!) When there are different things that will fill your heart, and when you feel that life is only happening right here and now, then what direction is the right one? What if you want so much but are forced to prioritize, because of certain circumstances, and could end up hurting others? What if, no matter what the decision, the thing you decide NOT to do, makes your heart feel like it’s breaking? The fact that turning your back on a certain thing, led you to feel heartbroken, is a sure sign it was a heartfelt intention. Which is great reassurance when it comes to self doubt as to whether or not you are following your heart, in the first place. So whatever you decide to do, feels wrong. But, if every decision will be the wrong one, then can’t every decision also be the right one? If I feel like I can’t win either way, then can’t I choose to feel like I CAN win either way?
When it comes to soulful living, I know the chain I must follow through in order for the actions to become apparent. The heartbreak should stop, or it already has, as I’ve realized what I must do on this journey. The next step is finding out whether or not everything will fall into place. If it’s meant to be, it will be. If not, all is not lost.. Or nothing is lost. And that’s when the vast amount of opportunities that this life offers us, goes from feeling overwhelming to feeling like a blessing. Because we never stop living, we never stop dreaming, choices still need to be made.. And it’s, again, up to us to take action, when it’s decision-time and we are again presented with opportunities.. So, we happily follow the chain once more.. And on and on it goes.. It’s constant and never really stops.. What a whirlwind of emotions it brings about, as the heart is touched with every choice you make.. All by practicing the “art of moving” within. Wouw!
No matter what the outcome, there is behind every event, situation, circumstance or action, a hidden meaning. And not until we follow things through, we can find out what it was and learn that lesson. To use the word “outcome” isn’t really fitting, when I relate this “mumbo-jumbo” that I’ve just written, to my own personal decision-making process. Because I don’t know where I eventually want to be or what I eventually want to do. Or, actually I do: I want all that I’m doing right here and now; which is living soulfully and truthfully and living for moment whilst being detached from the outcome. Me having just said what I said, actually answers everything I’ve been asking myself about what to do or where to go, and what action to take: I’m already doing what I want, so needn’t do much more!! And besides the fact that the outcome doesn’t really matter to me at this stage in my life (as I’m living my dream as I sit here and write), there’s nothing that lasts forever, everything comes to an end, everything is temporary and changing constantly. And that’s the beauty of it. It’s the mystery of life.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
bright-eyed Brisbane
By this stage, I had been on the go since Wednesday morning, hadn’t slept too much, hadn’t seen many beds, and the journey from Sydney to Brisbane was an overnight one, taking 14 hours. So I was starting to feel the a little tired. I was still loving it though. And, in the meantime, I had managed to contact Wayne and check if I was able to stay with them for a while. And, of course, there was no problem whatsoever!! How cool! Just the thought of having time to chill-out and reflect, was making me excited. That train journey was probably the worst overnight journey I’ve had - in terms of CHILLINESS!!!! Well, never have I been on a train that was so cold. The air-conditioning was on full-blast. It was like a freezer. How is a person supposed to sleep, being so cold??!! Everywhere they tend to put on the “freezer” overnight, but this was painful. So I hardly slept a wink. But other than that, it was all well and good. We got to Brisbane at around 7am. So I hung out for a while, waiting to catch the train to Caboolture where Wayne was going to pick me up and bring me their little place of paradise.. By 11am I was suddenly where I had set out to be..
What a journey it was. When I left Swan Hill, I didn’t plan on coming to Brisbane. It was actually pretty far from my mind. But somehow this is where I’m now at. How great is that!! I managed to push my state of transition as far as I could, both money-wise and body-wise.72 hours on the road, not having a real destination. But somehow it led me to reach a place that I needed so badly. So when I arrived at the house, on the Saturday morning, the 9th of Jan, it had been 72 hours since leaving Swan Hill. But it felt like a whole lot longer, if I’m honest. The things those days on the road brought me to experience, was brilliant!! It was more because of the people it got me in touch with again. I got to see Shane and Darragh, then Janice, and now Wayne (as Trish and Ed are working in Western Australia for a few weeks). And it didn’t stop there, because since being here I’ve seen Keryn, who is close friends with the 3 members of the Doyle-clan here in Oz, and who I hung out with quite a bit when I first got to Oz, back in April.
You can imagine how happy I was to get here last week. Everything looked so much brighter and more beautiful than I remembered it to be. It’s amazing how things can fall into place so well, and really so easily. It’s the way in which you approach certain things I suppose and also what you make of it. When things manage to fall into place, we can never know for how long they will “hold their particular place”. The place can either shift or the “thing” will feel itself shifting, once again. It’s unpredictable. But never to be feared. Everything always works out. I’m not going to say “in the end”, because that finalizes things too much. Instead, I’ll just put a few dots behind that phrase and leave what ever comes AFTER the things that have worked out, up to time, as it will reveal all, as always. And so: Everything always works out….
What a journey it was. When I left Swan Hill, I didn’t plan on coming to Brisbane. It was actually pretty far from my mind. But somehow this is where I’m now at. How great is that!! I managed to push my state of transition as far as I could, both money-wise and body-wise.72 hours on the road, not having a real destination. But somehow it led me to reach a place that I needed so badly. So when I arrived at the house, on the Saturday morning, the 9th of Jan, it had been 72 hours since leaving Swan Hill. But it felt like a whole lot longer, if I’m honest. The things those days on the road brought me to experience, was brilliant!! It was more because of the people it got me in touch with again. I got to see Shane and Darragh, then Janice, and now Wayne (as Trish and Ed are working in Western Australia for a few weeks). And it didn’t stop there, because since being here I’ve seen Keryn, who is close friends with the 3 members of the Doyle-clan here in Oz, and who I hung out with quite a bit when I first got to Oz, back in April.
You can imagine how happy I was to get here last week. Everything looked so much brighter and more beautiful than I remembered it to be. It’s amazing how things can fall into place so well, and really so easily. It’s the way in which you approach certain things I suppose and also what you make of it. When things manage to fall into place, we can never know for how long they will “hold their particular place”. The place can either shift or the “thing” will feel itself shifting, once again. It’s unpredictable. But never to be feared. Everything always works out. I’m not going to say “in the end”, because that finalizes things too much. Instead, I’ll just put a few dots behind that phrase and leave what ever comes AFTER the things that have worked out, up to time, as it will reveal all, as always. And so: Everything always works out….
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
ROADTRIPPING !!!
The time has come and it's the day I'm due to leave. I can't quite believe it. It's Wednesday afternoon and I'm packing my backpack, I'm gathering all my bits and pieces, I'm throwing out stuff that is only weighing me down and I'm preparing for the off. I'm not stressed, but slightly groggy from the wine I had last night, as we went for a few drinkies in Brisbane. I'm also excited, I'm just about ready and I'm a tiny bit nervous.
So where am I going and what am I doing..?? I'll start at the beginning..
When I first arrived in Oz, on my second day, I got a phone call from Jason. A dear dear friend of mine from Adelaide, who I worked with in Nyah West on the farm when I was here first time round. We were so close as friends and he has proven to be more special than I initially thought. Why? Because he proved to me over the past year that any friendship can withstand the distance of space and time, especially when one needs as much support as possible, whilst being in a dark place.
When we last said goodbye, it was December 2006 and I didn't know if I'd ever see him again. We both went our separate ways and lost contact until Summer 2008. When I had just got back to Ireland in June last year, I wasn't doing too well. But one day I suddenly found myself thinking of him and I wanted to seek contact. I looked up my old sim-card, found his old mobile number and thought I could at least see if he still has the same number. I sent him a text, and within minutes I got one back.. It was so surreal. He didn't know what my story was at that point in my life, so I decided to write him a letter. I wanted, for some strange reason, him to know what was going on with me. And once he had received the letter, he supported me so much by texting me kind sweet words every week, without fail.
Those texts were always the highlight of my week, they made me smile even it was for just a short while. But it was still reassuring to be aware that I was still able to smile back then. When I was in the midst of everything last Summer, (I don't even remember sending that particular text) I sent him a text saying that once I'm better and back on my feet again, we would definitely meet. I forgot I had sent that text, but left it in my phone, only to read it months and months later after I had made the decision to come back to Oz. And after I was already aware that he was one of the reasons I needed to return. I wanted to come back and he was probably the catalyst or the drive that made me see where it was I needed to be, or maybe I wanted to see him again because of all the support he gave me. Either way, I was shocked when I came across that text, to read that I was already so willing to see him again, even whilst being so muddled.
When he rang me, on my second day in Oz, he was talking about doing a roadtrip in a van. He was planning on going pretty soon. At that moment, I'd had a glass of wine, so I was feeling a bit courageous and I asked him if he wanted some company. He was delighted, and so was I. It was too much of a coincidence that we were both in a position to travel at the same time, to not act on it. From that day, I've been waiting for everything to fall into place. He was finishing up the work on the farm, waiting for his last payday and waiting to buy the van in which we would be traveling. Then he was going back to Adelaide (which is where he lives) to sort out some stuff. Because he was doing so much else, I was wary about getting my hopes up too much. So I kept it pretty much to myself. But once he got everything sorted, he texted me, which was last week Monday, saying that I had to be in Adelaide by next Thursday (which is tomorrow) so we can go traveling! And that's exactly what's happening..
I booked my flight on Sunday, I'm flying from Brisbane to Adelaide this evening, he will be picking me up from the airport and we'll be starting the roadtrip from there. Straight away apparently. I can't quite believe that it's all fallen into place, the way it has done. It seems so surreal. I haven't seen him for 2 1/2 years. And tonight I'll be seeing him again. Who would have thought that it would happen so soon.. I never did. When I booked the flight over to Oz, it wasn't my plan to meet him this way, I didn't really have a plan. I told myself to keep an open mind about everything, even when it came to meeting Jason. It didn't matter when we were to be meeting or under which circumstances. I wanted it to happen but wasn't going to expect it to. And certainly not like this, not so soon and not so easily..
We'll be traveling in a van that he has renovated on the inside. It was empty when he first bought it, so he's now equipped it will all "mod-cons". He'll be doing all the driving, as I don't have a licence. We're starting from tonight, heading up to Cairns, driving cross-country. The usual route to Cairns would be via the coastline, which would give you the chance to see all the touristy spots and do the partying with all the backpackers. But, nope, that's not our plan. Driving cross-country means that we'll be driving through hundreds of miles of dessert.. for days and days. Once we get to Cairns (which some people reckon will take up to 3 weeks.. but I'm an optimist and I'm convinced it won't take us that long), we'll be heading over to Darwin. This is another route that would usually only be driven by the insane..or those who like to get off the beaten track. It will be hundreds of miles of more nothingness and dessert. But beautiful nothingness.. From there we'll be heading straight down the middle of the country, stopping in Uluru. That's the most famous spot of Oz. It's the big red rock, that is on the front of nearly every travelguide of Australia. That will be amazing.. From there, we head back down to Adelaide.
All this, in 4 weeks.. It's nearly 10.000km.. Is it doable? I reckon so. Or more to the point, Jason reckons so. I guess I'll have to take his word for it. All of these places that we'll be visiting, except for Darwin, are new to me. I haven't been to Adelaide, Cairns, north Queensland, Uluru.. So that just makes it all the more exciting. What an amazing trip!!
So new adventures are ahead. The first part of my trip is coming to an end. I'm leaving, after being here in Caboolture for 4 weeks. I've had an amazing time. It's been chilled-out as well as fun. It's been a great place to get my bearings and to settle into Ozzie life, which happened so easily that I sometimes can't even imagine I was never here to begin with. I've met some great great people and spent time with close family. That made it into such a great environment. The one thing that did strike me, was how I feel like I've been here so long, and how I've settled so easily and how this can make it more difficult to get up and just simply go.. But it's happening and the timing couldn't have been better.
After meeting such great people here, I can't say that I won't want to come back here to visit. Because I do. Oz might be a big country but it's relatively small and it's so easy to make an effort to revisit a place that has become so friendly and familiar. Or come to think of it, it isn't even an effort because doing something you want to do, is usually effortless..
So bring on the new times, I'm ready for whatever this trip might bring. And I'll continue to say that I can't quite believe this is happening..
So where am I going and what am I doing..?? I'll start at the beginning..
When I first arrived in Oz, on my second day, I got a phone call from Jason. A dear dear friend of mine from Adelaide, who I worked with in Nyah West on the farm when I was here first time round. We were so close as friends and he has proven to be more special than I initially thought. Why? Because he proved to me over the past year that any friendship can withstand the distance of space and time, especially when one needs as much support as possible, whilst being in a dark place.
When we last said goodbye, it was December 2006 and I didn't know if I'd ever see him again. We both went our separate ways and lost contact until Summer 2008. When I had just got back to Ireland in June last year, I wasn't doing too well. But one day I suddenly found myself thinking of him and I wanted to seek contact. I looked up my old sim-card, found his old mobile number and thought I could at least see if he still has the same number. I sent him a text, and within minutes I got one back.. It was so surreal. He didn't know what my story was at that point in my life, so I decided to write him a letter. I wanted, for some strange reason, him to know what was going on with me. And once he had received the letter, he supported me so much by texting me kind sweet words every week, without fail.
Those texts were always the highlight of my week, they made me smile even it was for just a short while. But it was still reassuring to be aware that I was still able to smile back then. When I was in the midst of everything last Summer, (I don't even remember sending that particular text) I sent him a text saying that once I'm better and back on my feet again, we would definitely meet. I forgot I had sent that text, but left it in my phone, only to read it months and months later after I had made the decision to come back to Oz. And after I was already aware that he was one of the reasons I needed to return. I wanted to come back and he was probably the catalyst or the drive that made me see where it was I needed to be, or maybe I wanted to see him again because of all the support he gave me. Either way, I was shocked when I came across that text, to read that I was already so willing to see him again, even whilst being so muddled.
When he rang me, on my second day in Oz, he was talking about doing a roadtrip in a van. He was planning on going pretty soon. At that moment, I'd had a glass of wine, so I was feeling a bit courageous and I asked him if he wanted some company. He was delighted, and so was I. It was too much of a coincidence that we were both in a position to travel at the same time, to not act on it. From that day, I've been waiting for everything to fall into place. He was finishing up the work on the farm, waiting for his last payday and waiting to buy the van in which we would be traveling. Then he was going back to Adelaide (which is where he lives) to sort out some stuff. Because he was doing so much else, I was wary about getting my hopes up too much. So I kept it pretty much to myself. But once he got everything sorted, he texted me, which was last week Monday, saying that I had to be in Adelaide by next Thursday (which is tomorrow) so we can go traveling! And that's exactly what's happening..
I booked my flight on Sunday, I'm flying from Brisbane to Adelaide this evening, he will be picking me up from the airport and we'll be starting the roadtrip from there. Straight away apparently. I can't quite believe that it's all fallen into place, the way it has done. It seems so surreal. I haven't seen him for 2 1/2 years. And tonight I'll be seeing him again. Who would have thought that it would happen so soon.. I never did. When I booked the flight over to Oz, it wasn't my plan to meet him this way, I didn't really have a plan. I told myself to keep an open mind about everything, even when it came to meeting Jason. It didn't matter when we were to be meeting or under which circumstances. I wanted it to happen but wasn't going to expect it to. And certainly not like this, not so soon and not so easily..
We'll be traveling in a van that he has renovated on the inside. It was empty when he first bought it, so he's now equipped it will all "mod-cons". He'll be doing all the driving, as I don't have a licence. We're starting from tonight, heading up to Cairns, driving cross-country. The usual route to Cairns would be via the coastline, which would give you the chance to see all the touristy spots and do the partying with all the backpackers. But, nope, that's not our plan. Driving cross-country means that we'll be driving through hundreds of miles of dessert.. for days and days. Once we get to Cairns (which some people reckon will take up to 3 weeks.. but I'm an optimist and I'm convinced it won't take us that long), we'll be heading over to Darwin. This is another route that would usually only be driven by the insane..or those who like to get off the beaten track. It will be hundreds of miles of more nothingness and dessert. But beautiful nothingness.. From there we'll be heading straight down the middle of the country, stopping in Uluru. That's the most famous spot of Oz. It's the big red rock, that is on the front of nearly every travelguide of Australia. That will be amazing.. From there, we head back down to Adelaide.
All this, in 4 weeks.. It's nearly 10.000km.. Is it doable? I reckon so. Or more to the point, Jason reckons so. I guess I'll have to take his word for it. All of these places that we'll be visiting, except for Darwin, are new to me. I haven't been to Adelaide, Cairns, north Queensland, Uluru.. So that just makes it all the more exciting. What an amazing trip!!
So new adventures are ahead. The first part of my trip is coming to an end. I'm leaving, after being here in Caboolture for 4 weeks. I've had an amazing time. It's been chilled-out as well as fun. It's been a great place to get my bearings and to settle into Ozzie life, which happened so easily that I sometimes can't even imagine I was never here to begin with. I've met some great great people and spent time with close family. That made it into such a great environment. The one thing that did strike me, was how I feel like I've been here so long, and how I've settled so easily and how this can make it more difficult to get up and just simply go.. But it's happening and the timing couldn't have been better.
After meeting such great people here, I can't say that I won't want to come back here to visit. Because I do. Oz might be a big country but it's relatively small and it's so easy to make an effort to revisit a place that has become so friendly and familiar. Or come to think of it, it isn't even an effort because doing something you want to do, is usually effortless..
So bring on the new times, I'm ready for whatever this trip might bring. And I'll continue to say that I can't quite believe this is happening..
Saturday, May 23, 2009
It's raining, it's pouring
It's Wednesday afternoon - The heavens opened on Monday and I actually thought they were never going to close. I've experienced rain before and have been in plenty of storms. But I've never been in a house for such a length of time, without being about to venture out because of the consistent rain. It was horrendous. It started Monday evening and stopped this afternoon at around 1o'clock. Much to everyone's relief.
The first night it started, I had never heard anything like it. I couldn't sleep for the noise of it and had nightmares about storms, floods and accidents. The whole day yesterday, it continued and right the way through the night. I really thought the rain was neverending. I thought that was it.. forever.. No more sun, no more dryness. Just clouds and the sound of the raindrops on the roof, with flood warnings on the news, for the south eastern region of Queensland. I've always known that Queensland is classed as the tropics (just like the Northern Territory, and parts of Western Australia), and that it therefore doesn't rain that often. But on those odd occasions when it does rain, it POURS!! Now I've finally come to experience what rain in the tropics really is. In Thailand I had experienced torrential rainfall, as I was there in the monsoon-season, but it was only for short periods at a time. Here though, it just didn't want to stop.
All that rain, the sight and the sound, started to make me feel slightly enclosed and claustrophobic. Not that I suffer from claustrophobia.. But I could easily have done, given the circumstances. It was probably down the fact that there was just no way I could get out and about, when I wanted it most. We were all so restless, pacing up and down, not being able to sit, not being able to go about a day the way we normally would do and waiting for it to ease off.. The weatherforcast said that it was to still be heavy, until the weekend. And hearing that, you're thinking to yourself..well, there goes any chance of making of the most out of my last week here with Trish. So restricted in doing anything.. But then a miracle happened and it stopped! No more raindrops, no more noise, no more floods.. (for now that is, it could still turn around). It started to brighten up and slowly patches of blue started to appear in the sky and all was calm again. Hallelujah!!
That's when I went for a walk. Seeing as though there was still more rain to come, I knew this was my chance to just get out in the fresh air, for only a short while, even if it was just to make the most of the sun that was shining. It was still warm and the air was nice and humid, not cold or sticky or windy. As I walked along, everywhere was covered in huge poodles, miniature rivers and the excess water was gushing underground. I could even hear it. But it was so calm and everywhere seemed so much greener. I was stopped in my tracks by a road just around the corner, that was flooded. It seemed so unfortunate to see what the rainfall had done and the extent of the damage it can cause, especially knowing that there are other parts of the region that have been more badly effected than we have been. For a moment, I had forgotten where I was and what I doing, when I started to remember the first time I walked down that same road, 3 weeks ago - which feels like a lifetime ago - and the feeling of content freedom I had for being here, in Queensland Australia. I felt sad for having suddenly lost sight of where I was, when I turned around and there I saw the first kangaroos in the wild, since arriving here nearly a month ago. I was just so happy. It was like a wake-up call to me.. "Niamh..don't forget to never stop appreciating where you are and what you're doing, even if it is just that walk I'm taking or the kangaroos I'm seeing or the country I'm experiencing or the people I'm meeting or the freedom I'm having". As I walked on further down the road, there were a few more. They were so close, so calm, just standing there, looking at me, posing for the camera as I tried to capture them whilst being so tame in their wild surroundings. It totally made my day. The sun was in my face and everything was able to breathe, I was able to breathe again. The air, the ground, the animals, the people..
The so so familiar saying "after rain comes sunshine".. (or something like that) is so so true. The sun is always there, it never lets us down, it's always waiting patiently to soak up the rain and in some cases to go a little bit too far and to dry out the fallen rain too much. But it's just a relief to know, even if the rain does pick-up again this evening, that it will always shine again. They are still giving flood warnings for the region, it's on the national news too. So many accidents have happened, homes destroyed and creeks breaking their banks. But hopefully, for once, the weatherman has gotten it WRONG.. and the rain will hold off and the dry relief can be appreciated..
The first night it started, I had never heard anything like it. I couldn't sleep for the noise of it and had nightmares about storms, floods and accidents. The whole day yesterday, it continued and right the way through the night. I really thought the rain was neverending. I thought that was it.. forever.. No more sun, no more dryness. Just clouds and the sound of the raindrops on the roof, with flood warnings on the news, for the south eastern region of Queensland. I've always known that Queensland is classed as the tropics (just like the Northern Territory, and parts of Western Australia), and that it therefore doesn't rain that often. But on those odd occasions when it does rain, it POURS!! Now I've finally come to experience what rain in the tropics really is. In Thailand I had experienced torrential rainfall, as I was there in the monsoon-season, but it was only for short periods at a time. Here though, it just didn't want to stop.
All that rain, the sight and the sound, started to make me feel slightly enclosed and claustrophobic. Not that I suffer from claustrophobia.. But I could easily have done, given the circumstances. It was probably down the fact that there was just no way I could get out and about, when I wanted it most. We were all so restless, pacing up and down, not being able to sit, not being able to go about a day the way we normally would do and waiting for it to ease off.. The weatherforcast said that it was to still be heavy, until the weekend. And hearing that, you're thinking to yourself..well, there goes any chance of making of the most out of my last week here with Trish. So restricted in doing anything.. But then a miracle happened and it stopped! No more raindrops, no more noise, no more floods.. (for now that is, it could still turn around). It started to brighten up and slowly patches of blue started to appear in the sky and all was calm again. Hallelujah!!
That's when I went for a walk. Seeing as though there was still more rain to come, I knew this was my chance to just get out in the fresh air, for only a short while, even if it was just to make the most of the sun that was shining. It was still warm and the air was nice and humid, not cold or sticky or windy. As I walked along, everywhere was covered in huge poodles, miniature rivers and the excess water was gushing underground. I could even hear it. But it was so calm and everywhere seemed so much greener. I was stopped in my tracks by a road just around the corner, that was flooded. It seemed so unfortunate to see what the rainfall had done and the extent of the damage it can cause, especially knowing that there are other parts of the region that have been more badly effected than we have been. For a moment, I had forgotten where I was and what I doing, when I started to remember the first time I walked down that same road, 3 weeks ago - which feels like a lifetime ago - and the feeling of content freedom I had for being here, in Queensland Australia. I felt sad for having suddenly lost sight of where I was, when I turned around and there I saw the first kangaroos in the wild, since arriving here nearly a month ago. I was just so happy. It was like a wake-up call to me.. "Niamh..don't forget to never stop appreciating where you are and what you're doing, even if it is just that walk I'm taking or the kangaroos I'm seeing or the country I'm experiencing or the people I'm meeting or the freedom I'm having". As I walked on further down the road, there were a few more. They were so close, so calm, just standing there, looking at me, posing for the camera as I tried to capture them whilst being so tame in their wild surroundings. It totally made my day. The sun was in my face and everything was able to breathe, I was able to breathe again. The air, the ground, the animals, the people..
The so so familiar saying "after rain comes sunshine".. (or something like that) is so so true. The sun is always there, it never lets us down, it's always waiting patiently to soak up the rain and in some cases to go a little bit too far and to dry out the fallen rain too much. But it's just a relief to know, even if the rain does pick-up again this evening, that it will always shine again. They are still giving flood warnings for the region, it's on the national news too. So many accidents have happened, homes destroyed and creeks breaking their banks. But hopefully, for once, the weatherman has gotten it WRONG.. and the rain will hold off and the dry relief can be appreciated..
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Just my imagination
Everybody knows that when they're planning on going on holidays, or going away for a while, they usually have a certain image in their head, as to how that place will look or what the area will be like, before they get there. Well, just like everybody else, I was the same. I had this image of this place, that's just 40 minutes outside of Brisbane, to be red with dust, to be flat, to be secluded.. I imagined there to be no trees, no bush, no animals, no birds. All I expected was blue skies and red fields surrounding their house that was so far from civilization that a roadtrip would be needed to get to the nearest shop. And thinking it was going to be like this, excited me! Really it did.
Well, when I got here, I can't say I was disappointed. Quite the opposite. I couldn't have been more wrong, as to how the area would look. But for the first few days, I had temporarily forgotten that image I had in my head. Once I was here, it had gone. I tried and tried to remember what I thought it was going to be like. I wanted to compare my imagination with the reality. Then this morning, as I sat on the patio in the sun at half 7, I was thinking and suddenly it came to me. What I just described was what I thought it would be like. Instead of their house and surrounding area living up to my imagination, it excelled it.
This whole area, feels so tropical. It's so green, it's so blue. There are mountains, once you go up the highway. There are birds, there are parrots, there is life in so many different forms. It's not secluded, deserted or isolated. It's not in the town and you need a car (or in Waynes case, a ute) to get around, but there are people. Australian people. Just as well.. if you didn't find them here, you wouldn't find them anywhere..
So it's not what I expected, but it's so much better. I don't know how long I'll be staying here in Caboolture (isn't that the craziest name by the way!!), but for now, it's great.. I do know though, that I'm not all too keen on heading South, as it's a lot chillier down there. So maybe I'll head up the coast, to the tropics where it's always warm. Who knows? For now though I'm just outside of Brisbane, sitting on my backside. Somethings never change; you fly to other side of the world, and you continue to do the same: sitting down whilst writing a blog.
Well, when I got here, I can't say I was disappointed. Quite the opposite. I couldn't have been more wrong, as to how the area would look. But for the first few days, I had temporarily forgotten that image I had in my head. Once I was here, it had gone. I tried and tried to remember what I thought it was going to be like. I wanted to compare my imagination with the reality. Then this morning, as I sat on the patio in the sun at half 7, I was thinking and suddenly it came to me. What I just described was what I thought it would be like. Instead of their house and surrounding area living up to my imagination, it excelled it.
This whole area, feels so tropical. It's so green, it's so blue. There are mountains, once you go up the highway. There are birds, there are parrots, there is life in so many different forms. It's not secluded, deserted or isolated. It's not in the town and you need a car (or in Waynes case, a ute) to get around, but there are people. Australian people. Just as well.. if you didn't find them here, you wouldn't find them anywhere..
So it's not what I expected, but it's so much better. I don't know how long I'll be staying here in Caboolture (isn't that the craziest name by the way!!), but for now, it's great.. I do know though, that I'm not all too keen on heading South, as it's a lot chillier down there. So maybe I'll head up the coast, to the tropics where it's always warm. Who knows? For now though I'm just outside of Brisbane, sitting on my backside. Somethings never change; you fly to other side of the world, and you continue to do the same: sitting down whilst writing a blog.
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