Last night (Thursday the 7th) something came over me. I was just finished work. It was 06.30pm. I was feeling strangely calm, wasn’t tired at all… and didn’t really want to head home. So I strolled around town, eating dinner at the stalls, by myself, totally happy just to ponder. Then I came across this tiny little ice-cream parlour, pretty close to home. There were 3 tables. It was empty. I sat and I wondered… Humm… What to do? It was 7pm by that stage and still I didn’t want to head home. So, I took out my laptop and thought to just look over some the editing…
Time stood still… and before I knew what was happening I was nearly done with the whole book!!! It was suddenly 09.30pm. It was dark and still humid outside. I was the only person sitting in the ice-cream parlour, drinking hot milk and reading through my manuscript. It was absolutely brilliant. I couldn’t believe how easy I was finding that stage of the editing process. I was at a stage in the book that had always been the most painful and difficult part. Usually I’d be feeling the pain again. But last night, I wasn’t. I wasn’t emotionally affected at all! It was going so well… I had to stop though, as they were shutting up shop. I went home and by the time I got to bed, it was 11pm. I lay there, and knew for a fact that by 1pm the following day I’d have the whole book done. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it…
And sure enough, I woke up at 4.30am. I couldn’t sleep any longer. So I got up at 5.30am… I had to get out of the house. I knew I was going to finish the book, but I didn’t want to do it in the apartment. I wanted to be surrounded by a flow of people. I wanted to be sitting in coffee shop, where I’d purposely take a spot and finish reading the last part of the script. That’s exactly what I set out to do.
And what a morning I’ve had! I was so full of energy… I almost sprinted to the food-court where I wanted to sit… And it happened! 2 hours is all it took to review the last pieces of the book… It flowed, it was easy to read and I hardly adjusted anything! I felt so at ease, and again, no major emotions were experienced and I felt… so calm. This feeling told me that I didn’t need to change anything anymore. I knew that the version of my book, as it stands right now… IS FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes yes yes…
There was nothing in the book that raised doubt in my mind, whether it was belonging to the story or not. I knew the story had come full circle or I, as a writer, had come full circle… The past months of editing were suddenly over, as I sat in the foodcourt of the local shopping mall…surrounded by only Chinese people, who were way too interested in what I was doing, as I was absorbed in the story that is now ready for worldly observation! Yes yes yes… The sense of calm I had, told me that I’m now confident that this is truly the story as it’s meant to be. What others will make of it, be it close family, friends or distant agents or publishers, I can’t be sure of. And that’s fine. Because what I AM sure of, is that this version of manuscript number 1, is what I want it to be.
I was ecstatic and so excited. I felt nervous even… I wanted to run and jump and tell the whole world!!!! But, I couldn’t… So, I headed to work. I was due to start at 1pm. In I walked… I popped onto my laptop to make the last backups of the book… and with all the colleagues around me, I first didn’t want to say anything… But I couldn’t contain myself… So I started: “guys, I’ve got big news…” And that’s when I started jumping around the office, telling them I’d finished my book and that it’s how I want it to be and how it will be recognized in the world – whether others like it or loathe it… It doesn’t matter, because I love it… I know for a fact it will find a spot somewhere on a bookshelf. It simply has to… if I believe in it so strongly….
With so much excitement, everyone was delighted for me… Really, I couldn’t have gotten a better response… And the next question was: “What happens from here Niamh?”… well, at the moment I’m still waiting for the agent in Ireland to get back to me about the first 70 pages, which he’s currently reviewing. In the meantime, I’ll probably continue going through the list of agencies (that I’d already started getting through, when I was still in Ireland). As well the concept for what writing to next focus on, will grow… Now that I’ve nothing more to add to this book, I’ve got space in my mind to look forward towards the next book… Wow… it’s so exciting. So the process will keep on going and I will keep on writing and believing that this first book is already making it’s way to where it’s needed… patience is a must as well… haha….
So, all in all, a massive day on my part… And now I’m in work, trying to plan lessons for my classes… what a contrast! Anyhow, it’s brilliant, and I’m delighted to finally be able to write this post… Months of hard work will pay-off… they are actually already paying-off… if how I felt today was anything to go by!!!! Yay………
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