Breaking news - concluded

So, we set a date on skype and one week later, we connect… only chatting (as in; typing back and forth, not actually talking, due to the bad connection)… I can see her, the video works, but she can’t see me… And the first thing I think when I see her: ‘wouw… how nice it is, to see an Irish lady!’ Man, I feel so at home… the ‘Irishness’ oozes off her! (at the moment the Irishness will ooze out of every Irish person I see, as it’s been so long since I’ve had any contact!) Yes, it’s great to feel homely, but I still don’t know why she wants to talk. She’s a business woman and of course I can rely on her to not beat around the bush and to get straight to the point… She wants to know if and when I’m game to do interviews and if I can be actively involved in PR. WHAT WHAT WHAT???

Thank god we aren’t actually speaking; so I have some thinking and breathing time in between the messages to give a proper and ‘professional’ response… Hummm… I’m confused and oh so stupidly innocent and blind. But also, I’m honest, so I tell her that I’m not sure if her positive feedback actually means she wants to work with the book. Does she actually want to publish???? And, as if it’s the most normal thing in the world, I get the response… ‘Yes, it’s a book that comes from the heart and tells real truth, which is how such a story should be told’. Again, I’m so lucky she couldn’t see me or hear me… because I sit behind the computer, in a stinking hot and dirty little booth with the fan blowing in my face, crying tears of excitement, joy and relief… wouw… she actually wants my book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The search is suddenly over and a new chapter in my life feels to open!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This happened last week Thursday. The conversation went on for quite some time until, after an hour, the power cuts and the computer shuts down. We got the chance to discuss some details and the most important being: she will write the contract and if we’re both comfortable with it, the publishing will start! I couldn’t believe it… that news gave me so many answers about my whole life… and where I’m going and what I need to focus on next. It’s unreal how everything suddenly fell into place without forcing anything! That’s always a true sign that these things are meant to be…

When our conversation ended… I sent my mother a text message to ring me on my mobile asap. I had to tell her first… this was the biggest news I’ve ever had, in my entire life! She called straight away… and I’m in tears, screeching down the phone that the publisher has accepted my ‘baby’! That news instantly made me speak the words that I’ll be coming home to do the PR and whatever else is involved. Wouw… End of Spring is when she would need to be in Ireland… and end of Spring is when Ma had hoped me to be back, because that’s also when my little niece Kayla is getting christened (and it’s turning into quite a big event). I didn’t think I’d be coming back for it… I hadn’t a clue what exact direction I was heading in, not until last week Thursday. The world has made the decision for me! And it all fits so nicely together. Perfect!

While I was chatting on skype and speaking with ma, I felt as though the world had temporarily stopped spinning. It’s hard to explain… it’s like when you receive devastating news, you can’t comprehend that the world and its people are still living their lives, as if nothing big has happened or changed. I felt this same feeling, but then not because of devastation but of a huge break through. After speaking with Mam, I stepped outside onto the busy street. I had this new piece of information and my life would never be the same again! However the man who is selling fruit, is still having his afternoon nap behind his stall and the shopkeeper next door, is still sitting in the same place as 2 hours previous… whereas I had just received the biggest news of my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s so silly that I was thinking like this, but it just shows how big a thing this is for me, which sent me onto a cloud and this world around me, felt so unimportant… But life does continue of course, so on the way home, I stopped for some groceries in the local store, just to be asked my salary by the shopkeeper!!!!!
(Sorry, just had to share that tiny piece of info – as a reflection of how much people here wish to know about you!!!!!!!)

So, back on track… I wasn’t too sure what to do with this news… was I to tell others? Hummm… I only told ma on that same day… and the next morning I was going to tell some teachers who I’m close to at school, but once I arrived, I got absorbed in lessons and I didn’t even think about my big news. So I’ve not told anybody here, and only sent a few emails to the sisters and only now am I spreading it through this post. At first the news felt surreal, but now it feels more safe… if that makes sense. Even though I’ve not yet seen the contract and it’s still a verbal agreement. But I feel it’s okay to spread the news. Because it simply going to happen.

This news has brought a tremendous amount of excitement, relief and clarity and it’s answering many questions. These answers are opening up more doors than I could’ve imagined and it feels safe and secure to know that something is being done ‘out there’ with my book. I once feared I’d need to stop travelling in order to publish, but this news is proof that I don’t need to stop, it’s happening. It’s such a blessing and gives me enormous peace of mind and freedom. There’s no more feeling of neglect and I feel more able to focus on the teaching. This job feels more ‘right’ than ‘wrong’, now that the book is being published… that sounds so strange I know. But teaching always felt wrong, because of the ‘self-publishing work’ I otherwise could’ve been doing. But I don’t need to consider that anymore. Many things are making more sense. And I’m more inspired to start another book, without force and without fear of it being in aid of ‘nothing’.

So, I await her following email with good news and something in writing attached, so I can confirm that she will be bringing my writing to print…sometime in 2012. We will have to seal this deal! Until then, life continues as normal, I’ll plan my onwards travels, spend some time with the students and cherish this new beginning.