Just a few thoughts… to mark the moment… The clock is ticking and where am I considering going, once the date to leave arrives? For weeks, even months, I’ve been thinking of Nepal. I have this vision of sitting at the foot of the Himalayas, with the snowy peaks in the background, writing a book. All swell, all flowing, and totally calm…without any worries. There’s also a Buddhist munk in this vision, by the way, who motivates me to meditate… Yay! ;)
It’s great to dream! But being practical is apart of travels too… yes, it can all (and most likely would) be amazing, but… it’s the end of winter, up in the north. For the past 8 months I’ve been in temperatures of around 30 degrees (my last 2 months in China were just as hot as it is here now, even if it was a different kind of heat). In Nepal it’s around 13 degrees at the moment, and that’s in the warmest and most southern place.
Hummm…. Still being practical (even if I would love to follow that dream): I’ve no winter clothes, I’ve no shoes, no socks, no jumpers… Nothing! I’m not prepared at all for a climate change that will lead to me changing the entire contents of my backpack – overnight! I’d need to go on a full shopping spree to cloth myself, up in Delhi before crossing the boarder… and then what to do with the clothes I’ve got? Dump them? Send them home? And then…? when I’m fully clothed and I stay for around 2 months, it will start warming-up again… And again, this will lead to a change in the contents of my backpack?! What a hassle… To add to that, I don’t even know if it will work out when I get there… I’ve done no research (no time) and don’t know where exactly to go. It might all be for nothing. I might not want to stay…
There are a lot of ifs, buts and maybes, with this upcoming move. Most will say these are silly reasons and are easily solved. Yes that’s true. But, considering I’m not really in the financial position to be country-hopping like there’s no tomorrow, I do need to be practical…
So, this led to me to think about finding a teaching job for 3 months; just one more teaching position before going home. I’ve been surfing online, looking at what’s available and it’s felt quite liberating… I don’t feel any pressure at all when I’m searching (since the news of the book getting published, my whole outlook has changed, and the world is even more open to me; everything feels so easy and light!). Yesterday I updated my cv. It’s been ages since I even looked at it and it was exciting to jot down the new teaching and travel experiences I’ve gained over the past year and a half. I even wrote a cover letter to send to different agencies. (As soon as I tear myself away from emailing and blogging, I should get on with that…)
As you can tell, for the past week I’ve been trying to find answers and ways to move. Options in Vietnam came up, then in Thailand, South Korea, Indonesia… and China, China, China. The amount of jobs I could have in a jiffy… is unreal (in China I mean). I must admit, I was tempted to apply. But after serious contemplation and with this recent shift of thinking, I can see and think further than China. If I were to go back, it would only be because it’s easy to get there. For no other reason at all. I’d be taking the ‘easy’ option – even if it’s a difficult country to live in, as a western. Thankfully I’m seeing so many more opportunities and if I really want, I can have another teaching experience before returning home in May. I have to believe it, if I really want it. And if I don’t fully believe, well then maybe it’s a sign that I, instead, DO want and need to sit somewhere - anywhere in the world - and write a book. Or maybe it’s a sign that I should go back to Ireland even sooner than May…
There were other places that came to mind… Sri Lanka, Maladives… and… Spain??? Where that notion came from, I’ve not got a clue. But it’s the only place I’d be willing to go in Europe, if there were a job. Maybe it’s because I could learn the language and then be guided onwards to South America… haha… where I’ll be able to communicate with the people, in my future fluent Spanish! Wouw… that’s really going ‘far’… I guess nothing is impossible!
The way I’m talking, anyone would swear I’m loaded with a stash of cash hidden in the bottom of my backpack. But really, this is very far from the truth. The main reason I can move and travel, is because of the jobs. Otherwise I’d not be able to do any of this. And, at the moment, if I want to keep moving, I have to have something of a job lined-up. Does it worry me, when it’s not yet happening? Like now, when I need to move, but the next step hasn’t been set and a job has not yet come my way? In the past I would’ve been worried, stressed and it would keep me awake at night. Now, hummm… of course it occupies my mind, and I over-think things, I contemplate and I wonder. But, I’m not scared that not finding anything will mean the end of my free moving and traveling. Right now, I’m actually excited to think that I don’t know where my next step is heading and I have to love the fact that I don’t know where my next pay check will be coming from.
So I shall ponder freedom....
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