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Sunday, April 14, 2013

Lessons of the Way

To describe how this whole journey has been unfolding, in one simple phrase, would be to say it's all about letting-go. 

I'm  not only referring to material things that occupy so much of our lives,but so much other 'stuff' we're attached to as well, the 'need' to be doing certain things that simply can't be done on a journey like this. It's quite a step forward to find peace of mind when we take that distance from certain stuff. 

For me, vanity comes into play. I have to and GET OVER the fact that I´m wearing glasses (after having lost my contact lenses on the 5th day). As well, I have to GET OVER eating certain foods, which isn't great for the digestion, yet easier available. For this reason I consciously have been chosing to eat things that I usually would steer clear of. Daily meditating isn't possible, whilst living in hostel dorms. So I've been learning to accept that this is how it is for now. I had this vision of meditating in the nature, during the walks. However that was something of an idyllic magical dream, that hasn't been able to materialize... mainly because my feet have been too sore along the walks and stopping along the way for more than 10 minutes is torture, the pain accelarates and it takes me another 3 or 4 kms to get through the pain barrier once again and to sink into the rhythm of the walk. So, that too I've been letting-go. 

The physical exhaution, every afternoon, means I take a siesta for at least an hour, sometimes 2. I'm grateful I can do this, and again, letting myself sleep in the afternoon, was a huge step to take. The first few times, I was frustrated that I rest and figured I could be doing so much other things with my time; exploring the village, writing on my blog or in my journal or reading. But I've let it all go. Even if my mind has been wanting me to DO, WALK and WORRY more in the hope that MORE would happen on this walk as a result, I've been letting my main priority become one of embracing this experience, regardless of what other ´things´ would normally be considered vital in this life. 

Putting the theory of 'letting-go' into practise, is huge. But that's what it's all about for now. Especially without meditating and silent reflection, it's even more of a challenge. Because without it, my mind has been trying to run away with itself, or trying to run away with me, and get me to the end. Yet I, on a physical level haven't hardly been able to keep pace. On a deeper level, I don´t even want to keep pace with my mind, because then I'll be missing what's happening around me. 

And I've been happy to see that the main point of focus during this Camino is geared towards keeping myself physically in tact. Even if it's been a challenge like I never dared imagining. But I´m listening to what my body is telling me and using THAT as my guidance as I go along my way.

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