Two whole weeks and not a peep from me. Such a silence that feels has lasted for way too long. It was a silence I hadn’t planned, I silence I didn’t intend on creating. But somehow the events that occurred and the speed at which each one came about, forced me to be silent..
My last reflection was in Kuala Lumpur.. As I waited to get the bus to the airport. The plane awaited me that evening and was transporting me across many many miles, through a few different time zones, to be in a country I had grown to love but somehow didn’t feel so comfortable returning to.
My month in Malaysia and Thailand had brought about so many different emotions, revelations and adventures into being. My eyes had been opened in ways they had never witnessed either myself, the world and the people in it, before. What am I referring to? Well, for example: The way a person can place themselves in a certain world and the way that certain world can take on that particular person. Everything that has over the years has led me to see the traveling-life so differently. I always knew how amazing it was. But now, I’ve come to realize it even more so, due to the easiness and confidence I felt in being grounded - even when that particular part of the ground I found myself on, wasn’t “my own”. To be “one” with the world and with the souls in it, really does mean that anywhere can feel like home, because there really is no difference. Being one, is being the same. I’d felt this is other countries but never in countries where I’d be in the minority, where I would stick out in the crowd because of my hair and skin color. This time in Asia, I still stuck out in the crowd, but I didn’t feel it - I felt to be the same. I’d heard this expression before and thought it to be a cool way of seeing the world. But it’s not like a switch you can turn on, when trying to get to that mind-set. Something has to have changed within the minds eye to truly not feel or see yourself as being different in a culture so unique. Throughout the past year and a half, something did change in my minds eye and being in Asia I really was able to feel it. It was like I was putting into practice all that I had learnt and discovered within myself. It was truly an amazing feeling and I never realized when I was learning so much over the past year and a half that even my travel experiences would benefit from this adjustment. I’m ever ever so grateful.
So flying back to Melbourne on the evening of the 27th of December, to arrive on the morning of the 28th, was somehow different than I expected it to be. I expected to want to go back, I expected to be happy to set foot on Ozzie soil once again, I expected I’d be excited to be around western people again. Instead, every step of the journey, was one I didn’t want to take. I didn’t dwell on this fact however, as I knew I had to return to Oz - even if it were just for me to figure out that it was time to move on - and I was basically shocked by how I was feeling once I got to the airport in Melbourne. I was feeling how I should have felt when I stepped off the plane in Malaysia. I was feeling like an outsider. I was feeling dumbstruck at the sight and sound of all these Westerners - I know this might sound so silly - and because of the fact that this sounds so silly it’s also why I was shocked by the voice in my head that wasn’t liking the fact that I was blending in with the Westerners and speaking the same English language!! What a strange world.. Or maybe: what a strange way for me to suddenly feel and look at the world. The Australian world..
This feeling didn’t last too long. It didn’t scare me away. Nothing drastic came of it. It was simply whacky to witness it. From the airport in Melbourne, the city centre was the next port of call. Throughout the journey I was adjusting again to the normal buses, the normal speed at which they traveled and the normal road behaviour. Then at the station: the higher prices of food, tea, Internet, train tickets. Wouw! What a difference.. But within an hour all was good. Even though I still longed to be in Asia.
I sat in the food court at the station, as I had the whole day to wait for the bus that was going to be taking me to Jason. This food court sent me into a zone of some sort. At that stage, I had been traveling nearly 48 hours, without having seen a bed, so I was a little delirious too. I was in a zone and often I had to remind myself of what city I was in, or even what country.. And every time..O yeah.. Australia.. Okay..it’s okay Niamh.. This is good.
But really it wasn’t too good. I felt so lost, and sat there for 3 hours solid, writing my heart out and dealing with the situation at hand. Which was: What was I doing for the next week and for new years? Yes, I had booked my ticket to Swan Hill to go to see Jason. But things had changed, I felt they would be different and so we both kept an open mind when it came to us being back together again. It was an afternoon of feeling lost, wrecked but also one of feeling so easy and peaceful.. It was me just sitting and writing and I loved every minute of it. I didn’t want it to end. I was in the zone, my own zone, where I wanted to be. Maybe I didn’t want to deal with the real world as I felt so secure by myself. Maybe I didn’t want to loose the high I was feeling after an amazing month. Maybe I wanted to savor that feeling and share it only with those who wanted to share in my joy and not with those who might resent me for having had that amazing opportunity..(that I created by myself by the way.. so why should I feel guilty? A person makes their own experiences, lives their own life and everyone can make happen anything they really long for). Who was to know why I didn’t want that afternoon to end. It could also have simply been because I was in the food court right beside the sushi, that was coming out of my ears accompanied by green tea.. Hummm..
So I got to Swan Hill at 10pm. Jason was waiting at the station for me. The sight of the van.. White Myvan.. The adventure van.. The van that had been my home, with Jason inside, who had missed me. And there was Niamh: loaded up with a new “tan“, slightly longer hair, new stories to tell and some new inspiration and drive to go for the things she’s been longing to get from life. What a change.. And because of this, we needed to spend proper time together. We needed to reconnect and find common ground once again. A month isn’t a real long time to be apart, but when so much happens and a person starts feeling things that were there all along but had chosen to ignore them for so long, then a month can bring a lifetimes worth of changes with it. In some ways that’s what happened to me. So Jason and I decided at the very last minute to go to a festival near Swan Hill, in Moulemein, called Confest. It would be the perfect environment for us to spend time together, to learn and to grow.
This was on the morning of the 29th. Such a rash decision. And such a dramatic change. Going from Kho Phangang on the 26th, down through Malaysia, onto the plane in Kuala Lumpur, getting off in Melbourne, then hanging out there for a full day, then on to Swan Hill, straight into sorting out the ground on which Jason and I was were trying to walk upon together, and to end up at the hippy Confest, out in the Ozzie bush. All this within 3 days, without any sleep.
How does it all evolve, and does this festival bring out things that I haven’t yet discovered about myself..?? Catch up later for some more..
Showing posts with label Thailand. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thailand. Show all posts
Monday, January 11, 2010
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Xmas & Asia all wrapped-up
Christmas has come and gone already for another year. I hardly seen it creep up (as is always the way, no matter where you "celebrate" it) but made the best decision in coming back to Kho Phangang all the same, as I had an amazing day.
It's a kind of Christmas I've never experienced before. We were hanging out on the beach, from 08.00am.. Sitting around, chatting and sharing Christmas stories and past experiences that would come with the festive season. Usually this kind of talk would trigger the Christmas vibe, but it didn't really. It's a good thing though. Because I remember my first Christmas away from home, and it was almost tragic..or so it felt at the time. It was when I was Austria, and I actually was working from 08.00am in the office, alone on the 25th!! I couldn't believe how miserable I felt - I can still vividly remember how sorry I was feeling for myself as I stood behind the photocopier, working away (with a hangover) while the rest of the world..or just the family..were all together, sitting around the Christmas tree, being festive, opening presents, eating food and having a jolly old time. This Christmas I'm referring to, was back in 2004. Wouw, 5 years ago!! Since then, any Christmas I've been away from home, hasn't felt as devastating. Not even my first Ozzie Christmas in 2006..as I sat near the beach drinking beer in the sun and had a kebab for Christmas dinner.
I think what makes the homesickness easier to bear is, not only the people you're around of course, but also to know that when Christmas morning starts here on this side of the world, everyone back at home is still asleep. The day hasn't started yet, so I don't have to think about what I'm missing out on, at that exact moment in time. And once the day is underway on this side of the world, everything is fine, as we would already been having our own Christmas drinks from the afternoon onwards, which always eases the longing for Christmas and lightens the mood..
Well, that's how most Christmases are anyhow. This year I was even less switched-on. As we lay on the beach and moved lazily to the bar in the afternoon, it was strange to see the odd (usually British) tourist walking down the beach with a Santy hat on. Then I would obviously be reminded that it was Christmas day. And still I was grand! All was so perfect! So all we really did was hang out on the beach and bar, chatting and drinking and chatting some more. Suddenly a reality check: I realized.. oh oh.. My flight back to Oz is on the 27th of December (of course I knew this..I know, I might be away with the fairies alot of the times, but I did remember I had to be flying back to Oz within a few days) and what I didn't realize was that the journey I had to be making back down to Kuala Lumper from the island would take 24 hours by bus.. Oops.. This meant that there was a moment of panic (of course, there's always a moment of panic, where I'm concerned, nothing every runs as smoothly as I potentially could do) as I was trying to book a seat on the bus that was leaving on the 26th in the evening. And, much to my disappointment, it was full.. The only option I had was to leave at 06.00am from the bungalow the following morning, so the 26th.. What a bummer that was, to realize this. So suddenly I had to get my bags packed again, after 3 nights and 2 days of being back on Bottle Beach on the north side of Kho Phangang. We were all gutted. But, the journey I made up to island, was well worth it.. I didn't regret it for a single moment!
The fact that I was leaving the next morning, didn't ruin Christmas day one bit. If anything it made me savour the day even more. And we continued to drink and eat. Actually, all we did all day was TALK about how amazing the Christmas dinner was going to be - we were going to have fresh fish from the bbq - how nice this was going to be! So, the whole day we were building up the expectations as to how yummy our Christmas dinner should taste. And when it was finally time to eat, we were all a little disappointed.. There were 6of us at this stage (all Italian by the way, very interesting, but so much fun at the same time..not that I understood all of what was going on around me, but the whisky might have had a little bit to do with that too), we all had red snapper and king prawns with rice and salad. Well, if it wasn't for the fresh green raw chillies I was eating, I wouldn't have classed it as an amazing Christmas dinner at all.. Normal Thai dishes from the menu would have been so much more satisfying. And then, we didn't even have dessert! What's going on??!! That's when I started "demanding" some chocolate bars!! That helped a little.. What I'm doing now, is me just analyzing the Christmas dinner, as we did at the dinner table in the restaurant (this is apparently a typical Italian trait, to always either give out or comment on the food..very rarely is it a compliment, especially seeing as though half of the table were cooks!!). Other than that, everything was just perfect!! It really was a great day.. the perfect way to end my trip properly..
Yes, because now the journey back to where I started from, is already in full-swing. The morning after Christmas, I woke at 05.30am, stressed out, slightly hungover and had to have a cold shower and finish my packing.. 20 minutes later I was in the back of the jeep, after saying goodbye once last time and after telling each other that we will definitely all meet again (or else goodbyes can become a little painful), someday somewhere.. It was all a mad rush, as I was dropped off at the wrong peer and was overcharged by a guy on a moped who was willing to scoot me over the other side of the peer.. My god, I had visions of me being destined to never leave this island..(a beautiful thought, but not when I was considering the cost of missing buses and flights..) but thankfully it did all fall into place. I went from a jeep, to a moped. Then from onto a ferry to the mainland to catch a coach and from there to an overcrowded minibus followed by another minibus with a stop at a food place to finally start the last leg of the journey, which was a freezing coach - they always put on the airconditioning full blast and never give any blankets..so annoying..How is a person supposed to sleep in the freezing cold?? The simple answer is: not! and I didn't. I drifted around in space for 2 hours - and 24 hours later, at 05.00am this morning I found myself back where my Asia trip began 4 weeks ago: Kuala Lumpur.
A moment of reflection for you guys xxx
It's a kind of Christmas I've never experienced before. We were hanging out on the beach, from 08.00am.. Sitting around, chatting and sharing Christmas stories and past experiences that would come with the festive season. Usually this kind of talk would trigger the Christmas vibe, but it didn't really. It's a good thing though. Because I remember my first Christmas away from home, and it was almost tragic..or so it felt at the time. It was when I was Austria, and I actually was working from 08.00am in the office, alone on the 25th!! I couldn't believe how miserable I felt - I can still vividly remember how sorry I was feeling for myself as I stood behind the photocopier, working away (with a hangover) while the rest of the world..or just the family..were all together, sitting around the Christmas tree, being festive, opening presents, eating food and having a jolly old time. This Christmas I'm referring to, was back in 2004. Wouw, 5 years ago!! Since then, any Christmas I've been away from home, hasn't felt as devastating. Not even my first Ozzie Christmas in 2006..as I sat near the beach drinking beer in the sun and had a kebab for Christmas dinner.
I think what makes the homesickness easier to bear is, not only the people you're around of course, but also to know that when Christmas morning starts here on this side of the world, everyone back at home is still asleep. The day hasn't started yet, so I don't have to think about what I'm missing out on, at that exact moment in time. And once the day is underway on this side of the world, everything is fine, as we would already been having our own Christmas drinks from the afternoon onwards, which always eases the longing for Christmas and lightens the mood..
Well, that's how most Christmases are anyhow. This year I was even less switched-on. As we lay on the beach and moved lazily to the bar in the afternoon, it was strange to see the odd (usually British) tourist walking down the beach with a Santy hat on. Then I would obviously be reminded that it was Christmas day. And still I was grand! All was so perfect! So all we really did was hang out on the beach and bar, chatting and drinking and chatting some more. Suddenly a reality check: I realized.. oh oh.. My flight back to Oz is on the 27th of December (of course I knew this..I know, I might be away with the fairies alot of the times, but I did remember I had to be flying back to Oz within a few days) and what I didn't realize was that the journey I had to be making back down to Kuala Lumper from the island would take 24 hours by bus.. Oops.. This meant that there was a moment of panic (of course, there's always a moment of panic, where I'm concerned, nothing every runs as smoothly as I potentially could do) as I was trying to book a seat on the bus that was leaving on the 26th in the evening. And, much to my disappointment, it was full.. The only option I had was to leave at 06.00am from the bungalow the following morning, so the 26th.. What a bummer that was, to realize this. So suddenly I had to get my bags packed again, after 3 nights and 2 days of being back on Bottle Beach on the north side of Kho Phangang. We were all gutted. But, the journey I made up to island, was well worth it.. I didn't regret it for a single moment!
The fact that I was leaving the next morning, didn't ruin Christmas day one bit. If anything it made me savour the day even more. And we continued to drink and eat. Actually, all we did all day was TALK about how amazing the Christmas dinner was going to be - we were going to have fresh fish from the bbq - how nice this was going to be! So, the whole day we were building up the expectations as to how yummy our Christmas dinner should taste. And when it was finally time to eat, we were all a little disappointed.. There were 6of us at this stage (all Italian by the way, very interesting, but so much fun at the same time..not that I understood all of what was going on around me, but the whisky might have had a little bit to do with that too), we all had red snapper and king prawns with rice and salad. Well, if it wasn't for the fresh green raw chillies I was eating, I wouldn't have classed it as an amazing Christmas dinner at all.. Normal Thai dishes from the menu would have been so much more satisfying. And then, we didn't even have dessert! What's going on??!! That's when I started "demanding" some chocolate bars!! That helped a little.. What I'm doing now, is me just analyzing the Christmas dinner, as we did at the dinner table in the restaurant (this is apparently a typical Italian trait, to always either give out or comment on the food..very rarely is it a compliment, especially seeing as though half of the table were cooks!!). Other than that, everything was just perfect!! It really was a great day.. the perfect way to end my trip properly..
Yes, because now the journey back to where I started from, is already in full-swing. The morning after Christmas, I woke at 05.30am, stressed out, slightly hungover and had to have a cold shower and finish my packing.. 20 minutes later I was in the back of the jeep, after saying goodbye once last time and after telling each other that we will definitely all meet again (or else goodbyes can become a little painful), someday somewhere.. It was all a mad rush, as I was dropped off at the wrong peer and was overcharged by a guy on a moped who was willing to scoot me over the other side of the peer.. My god, I had visions of me being destined to never leave this island..(a beautiful thought, but not when I was considering the cost of missing buses and flights..) but thankfully it did all fall into place. I went from a jeep, to a moped. Then from onto a ferry to the mainland to catch a coach and from there to an overcrowded minibus followed by another minibus with a stop at a food place to finally start the last leg of the journey, which was a freezing coach - they always put on the airconditioning full blast and never give any blankets..so annoying..How is a person supposed to sleep in the freezing cold?? The simple answer is: not! and I didn't. I drifted around in space for 2 hours - and 24 hours later, at 05.00am this morning I found myself back where my Asia trip began 4 weeks ago: Kuala Lumpur.
A moment of reflection for you guys xxx
Thursday, December 24, 2009
2 days to cherish
Christmas Eve, it's the day after I got to Kho Phangnang for the second time, and the day before my last day on this island.. A little confusing? Maybe it is. It can even be confusing for me sometimes too.
After yesterday, and my last blog entry, I ventured towards the north of Kho Phangnang, to find the friends who were possibly still on the beautiful Bottle Beach. I got a cab to Chaloklum, the nearest village to the beach. Then I arrived at our local "cafe" and everybody was waving at me, and delighted that I was back. The locals that is. They all remembered me and made me feel so welcome. Suddenly I didn't care that I might be here alone, if the others had moved on..
I sat and took in the atmosphere, the laid-backness of life, the smiles and the community just going about their daily business in an extremely leisurely manner. It was a joy to watch and made me feel so safe. I couldn't decide whether or not to stay in the village for a night or get a taxi to the beach. Then the cafe owner said that there was another person being collected from the village to go to Bottle Beach, and if I wanted, I could get a ride. Too easy I thought! I had to go for it and get moving. So I did. I got a cab, and ended up having a tour around the island, which lasted an hour and a half before finally arriving at at the bungalow resort.
Again, the owners were delighted to see me, and said it was all so unexpected and nobody told them I was coming back. I told them I was going to surprise the rest.. I was nervous for some strange reason, and just hoped that it was all going to work out as I wanted it to. I went to the bungalow where I had been staying..and you never guess what.. All was still exactly as I left it!! David and the guys were still there, the bungalow still had room for me.. I was over the moon! And everything fell so easily into place.
I was still so hyped though and nervous as well. The whole trip, which had lasted 36 hours, or longer - if I take the time it took for me to come up with some answers into consideration - maybe even 72 hours starting in Penang, had been leading up to this moment. So with all the stress and the commotion of everything and without having slept for 2 days, the pressure that fell from my shoulders was huge and it was only natural that the first beer I had, was also the last one.. It went straight to my head. I was beat, I was done in. But it was fine. Because I was in paradise.. And I was going to be surrounded by great people for Christmas. That's what was most important.
This morning waking up in the bungalow, with the sound of the waves, and the sight of the blue sky through the curtains, was amazing. For that moment alone, making the journey back to Kho Phangnang was worth it. So much peace and quiet after a hectic few days. It was now time to chill out. And that's what we're still doing.
The festive season is also underway here. When I say "underway", I mean..the parties will be starting tonight and finishing the day after Christmas. That's all that's on offer here. There are hardly any decorations or Christmas songs (that's only in the bigger cities). Here on the island Christmas is a reason for the tourists to party hard, and to experience a different kind of Christmas atmosphere and vibe which isn't linked to family gatherings or work dinners or gift-showering. It's party time, for everyone. But not for us.. Haha.. We're not up for that at all.. We'll just be eating fish and drinking beer (or whisky) for the next 2 days. And on Saturday morning I have to leave.. What a shame. Kuala Lumpur is where my flight is leaving from on Sunday night, so I have start making my way down..much to my disappointment.
My days of this Asian trip are running out. They are coming to an end and I'm devastated. It feels wrong for me to be returning to Australia. It almost makes me feel a little queasy. Even though there are special people waiting for me when I get back. But I don't know what it is, this feeling of uneasiness. I don't know why I'm so gutted. But every moment of these next days, is so so precious. They are moments I'll never experience again, and therefore I need to savour each one..
So, what better way to end the trip, than to have Christmas dinner on the beach.. I feel like the luckiest person alive right now, even with the pain in my heart for leaving here within a few days..
I wish you all an extremely Merry Christmas.. May it be as magical as can be and may you be surrounded by those who are near and dear to you.. Missing you all, as I always do, but around this time of year, my heart is allowed to tell you all just how much.. Merry Christmas!!! Signing off for now..
After yesterday, and my last blog entry, I ventured towards the north of Kho Phangnang, to find the friends who were possibly still on the beautiful Bottle Beach. I got a cab to Chaloklum, the nearest village to the beach. Then I arrived at our local "cafe" and everybody was waving at me, and delighted that I was back. The locals that is. They all remembered me and made me feel so welcome. Suddenly I didn't care that I might be here alone, if the others had moved on..
I sat and took in the atmosphere, the laid-backness of life, the smiles and the community just going about their daily business in an extremely leisurely manner. It was a joy to watch and made me feel so safe. I couldn't decide whether or not to stay in the village for a night or get a taxi to the beach. Then the cafe owner said that there was another person being collected from the village to go to Bottle Beach, and if I wanted, I could get a ride. Too easy I thought! I had to go for it and get moving. So I did. I got a cab, and ended up having a tour around the island, which lasted an hour and a half before finally arriving at at the bungalow resort.
Again, the owners were delighted to see me, and said it was all so unexpected and nobody told them I was coming back. I told them I was going to surprise the rest.. I was nervous for some strange reason, and just hoped that it was all going to work out as I wanted it to. I went to the bungalow where I had been staying..and you never guess what.. All was still exactly as I left it!! David and the guys were still there, the bungalow still had room for me.. I was over the moon! And everything fell so easily into place.
I was still so hyped though and nervous as well. The whole trip, which had lasted 36 hours, or longer - if I take the time it took for me to come up with some answers into consideration - maybe even 72 hours starting in Penang, had been leading up to this moment. So with all the stress and the commotion of everything and without having slept for 2 days, the pressure that fell from my shoulders was huge and it was only natural that the first beer I had, was also the last one.. It went straight to my head. I was beat, I was done in. But it was fine. Because I was in paradise.. And I was going to be surrounded by great people for Christmas. That's what was most important.
This morning waking up in the bungalow, with the sound of the waves, and the sight of the blue sky through the curtains, was amazing. For that moment alone, making the journey back to Kho Phangnang was worth it. So much peace and quiet after a hectic few days. It was now time to chill out. And that's what we're still doing.
The festive season is also underway here. When I say "underway", I mean..the parties will be starting tonight and finishing the day after Christmas. That's all that's on offer here. There are hardly any decorations or Christmas songs (that's only in the bigger cities). Here on the island Christmas is a reason for the tourists to party hard, and to experience a different kind of Christmas atmosphere and vibe which isn't linked to family gatherings or work dinners or gift-showering. It's party time, for everyone. But not for us.. Haha.. We're not up for that at all.. We'll just be eating fish and drinking beer (or whisky) for the next 2 days. And on Saturday morning I have to leave.. What a shame. Kuala Lumpur is where my flight is leaving from on Sunday night, so I have start making my way down..much to my disappointment.
My days of this Asian trip are running out. They are coming to an end and I'm devastated. It feels wrong for me to be returning to Australia. It almost makes me feel a little queasy. Even though there are special people waiting for me when I get back. But I don't know what it is, this feeling of uneasiness. I don't know why I'm so gutted. But every moment of these next days, is so so precious. They are moments I'll never experience again, and therefore I need to savour each one..
So, what better way to end the trip, than to have Christmas dinner on the beach.. I feel like the luckiest person alive right now, even with the pain in my heart for leaving here within a few days..
I wish you all an extremely Merry Christmas.. May it be as magical as can be and may you be surrounded by those who are near and dear to you.. Missing you all, as I always do, but around this time of year, my heart is allowed to tell you all just how much.. Merry Christmas!!! Signing off for now..
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Destination: Christmas
4 days I spent in Penang. And for a destination to go from just being a place of "refuge" as I decided what to do for the remainder of my Asia trip, to being a place that felt so like home, was complete and utter unexpected randomness.
When I arrived in Penang last Friday (the 18th), which is the island off the west coast of Malaysia, I met a Finnish guy called Janne, who got me to a cosy guesthouse run by Jim. This I've already mentioned before, but I'm mentioning it again..No harm in repeating myself. A couple of days me and Janne spent exploring the city, sitting in cafe's, taking in the local atmosphere and pondering what our fate could be for the very near future (the upcoming week to be exact).. Janne's fate was already set..He was going to Krabi in Thailand and had a nice and neat plan to follow, up until new years. But Niamh however, hadn't a notion what to do or where to go next. There were many options as to what to do. But it's never been a strong point of mine, the whole "making decisions" side of life.. (it can make things so much more difficult..)
Whilst hanging out and having so much fun in Penang, each hour went by, and we met more and more people who had their plans for Christmas and new years eve. I was starting to feel a little lost, even though I felt so at home where I was. I was meeting these amazing people in the hostel, I felt so great and was enjoying myself thoroughly. Yet I was still patiently waiting for the answer to the question: "where does my Christmas spirit lie this year.." to come falling out of the sky. It would have been far easier for that to have happened than for me to actually take the time-out I needed in order to decide what I wanted or hoped to get from my last few special days on this amazing continent. Not only were they going to be my last few days, but it was also Christmas!
Anyway, Saturday I felt okay. There were no decisions made at that point. But a happy chappy I was. Sunday I started to get a little doubtful if I was even going to bother with making an effort to celebrate the festive season. It didn't make matters easier that I chose to forget about it, as I got side-tracked by all the people around me. I got caught up in the commotion of meeting people that I chose not to even contemplate my next move. Monday was the day I started to feel anxious. Everyone around was suddenly starting to move on. Janne was leaving. Oh no!! This should have meant I was to leave too??!! Oh.. But hang on..I wasn't alone.. There was an amazing girl who was also staying at Jim's place, by the name of Tina. So, once more I again, got sidetracked by all the commotion around me and ended up spending the last few hours of Janne being in Penang, with him just chatting in a cafe and drinking tea. After that, I again got sidetracked by Tina, who is at the moment in the middle of making an online shop and needed some help taking photo's at the beach. So before I knew what was happening I was on a bus, meeting so many random people, whilst we spontaneously made our way to the beach. And then of course, the night was over, it was 2am and Niamh still didn't know what she was doing.
But it didn't matter, even though it kept me from my much needed beauty sleep. All I I needed was peace and quiet to think about what I wanted. Tuesday morning came the crunch, once I had sat down and considered all of my options when it came the festive celebration: 1) go to Krabi in Thailand and hang out with Janne, 2) go back to Kho Phangang and spend time with David and the guys (if they were still there), 3) stay in Penang eating Indian curry with Indian Jim, 4) go to Kho Lipe in Thailand with Tina or 5) go off somewhere by myself and hope to meet some great people.
Well to put all of this into perspective, I figured: what's the true meaning of Christmas? To me, it's to spend time with the most special people you know, if that's an option. It's also to spread the love and joy, (which should actually be done at anytime of the year, but that's a different story). It's also to feel comfortable, where ever you are. It's not a time to feel homesick, which is something that can happen to a lot of travellers, knowing that the family is all together, except for one missing piece, which happens to be the traveller on the other side of the world.. And what can take away any possible feelings of homesickness? Being around people that you have connected with and who make you feel loved..something that is usually felt so strongly when the family comes together on Christmas day, but with no family in sight, a special connection with special people makes up for any love that is felt to be lost by being absent from the family gathering at this time of year..
So, Tuesday morning, I pondered, I contemplated, I humm-ed and I haa-ed.. I asked Jim when the next bus to Kho Phangnang was, he said in 3 hours time. I said I might take it.. He said you've got 2 hours to make up your mind. So I emailed the guys on Kho Phangang. It was 80% certain that they would still be on the same beach, in the same bungalow. But I had no way of knowing for sure, because no one had phone signal and they only went online every couple of days (due to isolation). The last email I had received was on Sunday, from David. At that point they were still there, still happy and still had room for me at the bungalow. But sometimes situations and circumstances change so suddenly, that a lack of security, especially without any contact, can lead to all different kinds of either welcomed surprises or difficult complications.
So I emailed, hoping that someone would be online, before deciding whether or not to get the bus to the island. That way I'd know whether or not I had a home for Christmas. I emailed, and waited for the reply.. I waited and waited.. Nothing. The reply was supposed to give me the answer as to whether or not I was getting on that bus. Time was ticking..and suddenly 2 girls walked into Jims place, looking for a room. The only room that was possibly available was mine.. Jim looked at me: Niamh, are you staying or going? Oops..pressure..it always works well for me, when I'm having to make difficult decision.. Without thinking: "Yes, I'm leaving!" So I packed my bags, got on the bus and left Penang an hour later, after saying goodbye to a place that had felt like home so quickly. I said goodbye to Jim and to Tina and then I was feeling like a little kid: I was getting the same feelings of excitement you can get whenever this song is being played on the radio: "driving home for Christmas.." The only differences: I wasn't doing the driving, snow or ice was nowhere in sight, and I wasn't going home but I was trying to return to a place that had become my home away from home throughout this trip. I really felt there couldn't be a better place to spend Christmas.
At this point, I still hadn't gotten a reply to the emails. I still didn't know if everything was still possible, if I still had a bed, if they were still there even.. I was taking a risk, but I figured I had nothing better to do with my time. And why not give it my all to experience this Christmas away from home, with the most special people I've met on this trip. It's also a great way to "wrap it up"..
So I left Penang at 4pm yesterday (Tuesday), got 2 mini buses, we then broke down on the side of the road at 1am, hung around for an hour and a half, I ended up meeting more great people: A French guy by the name of Ju and a Belgium girl by the name of Lore. I didn't sleep much on the bus, because of the breakdown. We got to the ferry at 5am, had to wait 3 hours, then had a 2,5 hour ferry ride and we all got off the boat at 10.30am, delighted to be back on this island..
Now, however, I sit and I'm waiting for a reply..still.. There's no email appearing in my mailbox, as I'm typing this. I've been checking every few hours..and will still wait patiently to see where my fate lies. Will I make it to bottle beach, our little place of paradise, tonight or tomorrow? Or will I make it there at all before Christmas? I cannot know just yet, but either way, it's already been an adventure getting here and the people I met along the way have, once again, inspired me.
My Christmas will be a good one, whatever happens both today and tomorrow. Because I'm already delighted to be here. I'm stable within myself and feel so good. I feel happy where ever I am and am always surrounded by special people..
An update as to how this all goes, should be coming soon!
When I arrived in Penang last Friday (the 18th), which is the island off the west coast of Malaysia, I met a Finnish guy called Janne, who got me to a cosy guesthouse run by Jim. This I've already mentioned before, but I'm mentioning it again..No harm in repeating myself. A couple of days me and Janne spent exploring the city, sitting in cafe's, taking in the local atmosphere and pondering what our fate could be for the very near future (the upcoming week to be exact).. Janne's fate was already set..He was going to Krabi in Thailand and had a nice and neat plan to follow, up until new years. But Niamh however, hadn't a notion what to do or where to go next. There were many options as to what to do. But it's never been a strong point of mine, the whole "making decisions" side of life.. (it can make things so much more difficult..)
Whilst hanging out and having so much fun in Penang, each hour went by, and we met more and more people who had their plans for Christmas and new years eve. I was starting to feel a little lost, even though I felt so at home where I was. I was meeting these amazing people in the hostel, I felt so great and was enjoying myself thoroughly. Yet I was still patiently waiting for the answer to the question: "where does my Christmas spirit lie this year.." to come falling out of the sky. It would have been far easier for that to have happened than for me to actually take the time-out I needed in order to decide what I wanted or hoped to get from my last few special days on this amazing continent. Not only were they going to be my last few days, but it was also Christmas!
Anyway, Saturday I felt okay. There were no decisions made at that point. But a happy chappy I was. Sunday I started to get a little doubtful if I was even going to bother with making an effort to celebrate the festive season. It didn't make matters easier that I chose to forget about it, as I got side-tracked by all the people around me. I got caught up in the commotion of meeting people that I chose not to even contemplate my next move. Monday was the day I started to feel anxious. Everyone around was suddenly starting to move on. Janne was leaving. Oh no!! This should have meant I was to leave too??!! Oh.. But hang on..I wasn't alone.. There was an amazing girl who was also staying at Jim's place, by the name of Tina. So, once more I again, got sidetracked by all the commotion around me and ended up spending the last few hours of Janne being in Penang, with him just chatting in a cafe and drinking tea. After that, I again got sidetracked by Tina, who is at the moment in the middle of making an online shop and needed some help taking photo's at the beach. So before I knew what was happening I was on a bus, meeting so many random people, whilst we spontaneously made our way to the beach. And then of course, the night was over, it was 2am and Niamh still didn't know what she was doing.
But it didn't matter, even though it kept me from my much needed beauty sleep. All I I needed was peace and quiet to think about what I wanted. Tuesday morning came the crunch, once I had sat down and considered all of my options when it came the festive celebration: 1) go to Krabi in Thailand and hang out with Janne, 2) go back to Kho Phangang and spend time with David and the guys (if they were still there), 3) stay in Penang eating Indian curry with Indian Jim, 4) go to Kho Lipe in Thailand with Tina or 5) go off somewhere by myself and hope to meet some great people.
Well to put all of this into perspective, I figured: what's the true meaning of Christmas? To me, it's to spend time with the most special people you know, if that's an option. It's also to spread the love and joy, (which should actually be done at anytime of the year, but that's a different story). It's also to feel comfortable, where ever you are. It's not a time to feel homesick, which is something that can happen to a lot of travellers, knowing that the family is all together, except for one missing piece, which happens to be the traveller on the other side of the world.. And what can take away any possible feelings of homesickness? Being around people that you have connected with and who make you feel loved..something that is usually felt so strongly when the family comes together on Christmas day, but with no family in sight, a special connection with special people makes up for any love that is felt to be lost by being absent from the family gathering at this time of year..
So, Tuesday morning, I pondered, I contemplated, I humm-ed and I haa-ed.. I asked Jim when the next bus to Kho Phangnang was, he said in 3 hours time. I said I might take it.. He said you've got 2 hours to make up your mind. So I emailed the guys on Kho Phangang. It was 80% certain that they would still be on the same beach, in the same bungalow. But I had no way of knowing for sure, because no one had phone signal and they only went online every couple of days (due to isolation). The last email I had received was on Sunday, from David. At that point they were still there, still happy and still had room for me at the bungalow. But sometimes situations and circumstances change so suddenly, that a lack of security, especially without any contact, can lead to all different kinds of either welcomed surprises or difficult complications.
So I emailed, hoping that someone would be online, before deciding whether or not to get the bus to the island. That way I'd know whether or not I had a home for Christmas. I emailed, and waited for the reply.. I waited and waited.. Nothing. The reply was supposed to give me the answer as to whether or not I was getting on that bus. Time was ticking..and suddenly 2 girls walked into Jims place, looking for a room. The only room that was possibly available was mine.. Jim looked at me: Niamh, are you staying or going? Oops..pressure..it always works well for me, when I'm having to make difficult decision.. Without thinking: "Yes, I'm leaving!" So I packed my bags, got on the bus and left Penang an hour later, after saying goodbye to a place that had felt like home so quickly. I said goodbye to Jim and to Tina and then I was feeling like a little kid: I was getting the same feelings of excitement you can get whenever this song is being played on the radio: "driving home for Christmas.." The only differences: I wasn't doing the driving, snow or ice was nowhere in sight, and I wasn't going home but I was trying to return to a place that had become my home away from home throughout this trip. I really felt there couldn't be a better place to spend Christmas.
At this point, I still hadn't gotten a reply to the emails. I still didn't know if everything was still possible, if I still had a bed, if they were still there even.. I was taking a risk, but I figured I had nothing better to do with my time. And why not give it my all to experience this Christmas away from home, with the most special people I've met on this trip. It's also a great way to "wrap it up"..
So I left Penang at 4pm yesterday (Tuesday), got 2 mini buses, we then broke down on the side of the road at 1am, hung around for an hour and a half, I ended up meeting more great people: A French guy by the name of Ju and a Belgium girl by the name of Lore. I didn't sleep much on the bus, because of the breakdown. We got to the ferry at 5am, had to wait 3 hours, then had a 2,5 hour ferry ride and we all got off the boat at 10.30am, delighted to be back on this island..
Now, however, I sit and I'm waiting for a reply..still.. There's no email appearing in my mailbox, as I'm typing this. I've been checking every few hours..and will still wait patiently to see where my fate lies. Will I make it to bottle beach, our little place of paradise, tonight or tomorrow? Or will I make it there at all before Christmas? I cannot know just yet, but either way, it's already been an adventure getting here and the people I met along the way have, once again, inspired me.
My Christmas will be a good one, whatever happens both today and tomorrow. Because I'm already delighted to be here. I'm stable within myself and feel so good. I feel happy where ever I am and am always surrounded by special people..
An update as to how this all goes, should be coming soon!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Trading one island for another
12 days of being in Paradise, and my visa was running out. When I entered Thailand on the 5th of December my visa was only valid for 14 days. So the expiry date was the 19th, which meant that I had to out of the country by the 18th.. Much to my disappointment. I really didn't want to leave. Everything was just so perfect. The guys and myself had moved to different beaches, checking out the vibes, all in search of isolation. We wanted so badly to be secluded from the world.. And guess when it was that we felt that we had found exactly what we were looking for and exactly what we had envisioned before coming to this island: On the 16th.. so 1 day before I was meant to be moving in the direction of Malaysia. I couldn't believe how soon it was ending and how quickly I had to get my ass into gear and make my way back down to Malaysia, in order to stay on the right side of the law and to avoid a fine for overstaying my welcome. It was on the 17th I had to get the ferry and start the journey that was to last 24 hours. And all going to plan I was to reach my destination in Malaysia by the 18th. Arriving a day later, meant I'd have to pay..
So 12 days of magic, and I was on my way. It was Thursday evening when I had to get the taxi boat and leave the place that took us a while to find. I was sad to leave, but not devastated. I felt happy to have met these people and to have spent such amazing days just talking and learning and being inspired. Other people we met along the way, were all as nice as ever. Sometimes the smiles that are everywhere in that amazing country, can be fake and you sometimes can't be sure if it's all well-intended, but my smiles weren't fake and my intentions were genuine, so I didn't care either way. It was like, at one point, that we were apart of the community. The different beaches we stayed on, were all in the same area of a fishing village on the north coast of the island, called Chaloklum. At one stage, we had a place where we went for tea in the afternoon, and a place for chicken wings when we were peckish and a place for whiskey when we were feeling cold from the wet clothes we were still wearing after getting soaked by a sudden unexpected monsoon-shower. It was so great and to leave was so strange. Everybody knew us everywhere..
But at I was leaving, I was feeling good, I was feeling blessed and I felt so touched by what Kho Phangnang had given me. So getting on the ferry, after having my last meal from the stalls in the main town of Thongsala, wasn't too much of tragedy. It simply was how it was. This was my time again, to open up to meeting new people and to find out if I wanted to come back to this island or to Thailand for Christmas or New Year. I hadn't a clue how I was going to feel, once setting out on my own adventure again. Maybe I'd wanna come straight back to spend a special time of year with these special people. Maybe I'd feel even better being alone. Who was to say..
Well, I can say, 48 hours after leaving that place of paradise, I still feel great. The journey to the island of Penang off the west coast of Malaysia, which is where I'm now sitting, was so cool. So long, but so great. I got the night ferry to Suritani. And I've never experienced anything like this before. It was the tiniest of boats, with 2 floors. The bottom floor was where the crew were hanging out and where the mechanical side of things happened (don't know quite how else to put it..haha) and the top floor was where we were sleeping. I had to climb up a ladder to where the other passengers were. And it turned out to be a room full of mattresses.. That's all.. just mattresses everywhere.. It was so strange. So I was found myself a spot, and soon I'd met myself a friend, who lay down beside me.. (it's sounds strange to say that, but he didn't sit, because there weren't any seats..just mattresses).. He was from Japan, and it was so nice to chat with him. And meeting some so easily and talking so freely as if we had known each other far longer than 5 minutes, I suddenly felt as if I had placed myself, once again, in a situation where things were going to start happening again after 12days of being surrounded by familiarity.. Now I was making things happen again, and it could go in so many different directions. But it was all my own doing, all my own choices, it was all up to me: How long was I was going to stay in Penang, Who was I going to meet, where was I going to spend Christmas, was I going to go back to Kho Phangnang? Who knew? And who knows now? Not a soul..
All I know is that how the past 48 hours have planned out, has been so great. After a 5 hour ferry ride, sleeping with these strangers, and one new friend by the name of .... Kuni.. I got to Suritani and had to wait until 6am for the bus to Hat Yai..then once I got there, I had to wait another 2 hours for the bus to Penang. I finally got here at 6pm yesterday evening and, how lucky am I.. I found myself some new friends who were also looking for a place to stay. So we joined forces in this unfamiliar city, and found Jim's Place. It's a cheap hostel in the middle of the fuss and commotion of this city and I feel at home once again.. I've mainly been hanging out with a Finish guy called Janne, who is learning English and who I'm now teaching English to.. Not in an extreme way, but our conversations are full of new vocabulary for him to learn and it's a real challenge to make ourselves understood by each other. But he's so easy to be around at the same time. He's sitting here beside me now, updating his own Blog!! It was so cool to find someone else who is blogging, just like me.. We've already treated ourselves today to some reflexology and I have also been trying to get back in with the Malaysian cuisine..after having had a bad experience during my first week of the trip with the food here and after adoring the food in Thailand so much.. It's working though, very slowly, but the Malaysian food and the people are redeeming themselves again!
So, it's now a Saturday afternoon. And time is passing by so quickly. I'm delighted to be where I am right now..even if it is raining more than it was in Thailand.. (right now, Malaysia is more effected by the Monsoons). I'm happy here for a few days, until I've come to a conclusion as to what it is I still want to do before I have to leave and where it is I want to go. For now though, having my own time is exactly what I need. It's just perfect..even after believing that I had left perfection back in Kho Phangang.. I haven't though, I've created it once again and am enjoying every minute!
So 12 days of magic, and I was on my way. It was Thursday evening when I had to get the taxi boat and leave the place that took us a while to find. I was sad to leave, but not devastated. I felt happy to have met these people and to have spent such amazing days just talking and learning and being inspired. Other people we met along the way, were all as nice as ever. Sometimes the smiles that are everywhere in that amazing country, can be fake and you sometimes can't be sure if it's all well-intended, but my smiles weren't fake and my intentions were genuine, so I didn't care either way. It was like, at one point, that we were apart of the community. The different beaches we stayed on, were all in the same area of a fishing village on the north coast of the island, called Chaloklum. At one stage, we had a place where we went for tea in the afternoon, and a place for chicken wings when we were peckish and a place for whiskey when we were feeling cold from the wet clothes we were still wearing after getting soaked by a sudden unexpected monsoon-shower. It was so great and to leave was so strange. Everybody knew us everywhere..
But at I was leaving, I was feeling good, I was feeling blessed and I felt so touched by what Kho Phangnang had given me. So getting on the ferry, after having my last meal from the stalls in the main town of Thongsala, wasn't too much of tragedy. It simply was how it was. This was my time again, to open up to meeting new people and to find out if I wanted to come back to this island or to Thailand for Christmas or New Year. I hadn't a clue how I was going to feel, once setting out on my own adventure again. Maybe I'd wanna come straight back to spend a special time of year with these special people. Maybe I'd feel even better being alone. Who was to say..
Well, I can say, 48 hours after leaving that place of paradise, I still feel great. The journey to the island of Penang off the west coast of Malaysia, which is where I'm now sitting, was so cool. So long, but so great. I got the night ferry to Suritani. And I've never experienced anything like this before. It was the tiniest of boats, with 2 floors. The bottom floor was where the crew were hanging out and where the mechanical side of things happened (don't know quite how else to put it..haha) and the top floor was where we were sleeping. I had to climb up a ladder to where the other passengers were. And it turned out to be a room full of mattresses.. That's all.. just mattresses everywhere.. It was so strange. So I was found myself a spot, and soon I'd met myself a friend, who lay down beside me.. (it's sounds strange to say that, but he didn't sit, because there weren't any seats..just mattresses).. He was from Japan, and it was so nice to chat with him. And meeting some so easily and talking so freely as if we had known each other far longer than 5 minutes, I suddenly felt as if I had placed myself, once again, in a situation where things were going to start happening again after 12days of being surrounded by familiarity.. Now I was making things happen again, and it could go in so many different directions. But it was all my own doing, all my own choices, it was all up to me: How long was I was going to stay in Penang, Who was I going to meet, where was I going to spend Christmas, was I going to go back to Kho Phangnang? Who knew? And who knows now? Not a soul..
All I know is that how the past 48 hours have planned out, has been so great. After a 5 hour ferry ride, sleeping with these strangers, and one new friend by the name of .... Kuni.. I got to Suritani and had to wait until 6am for the bus to Hat Yai..then once I got there, I had to wait another 2 hours for the bus to Penang. I finally got here at 6pm yesterday evening and, how lucky am I.. I found myself some new friends who were also looking for a place to stay. So we joined forces in this unfamiliar city, and found Jim's Place. It's a cheap hostel in the middle of the fuss and commotion of this city and I feel at home once again.. I've mainly been hanging out with a Finish guy called Janne, who is learning English and who I'm now teaching English to.. Not in an extreme way, but our conversations are full of new vocabulary for him to learn and it's a real challenge to make ourselves understood by each other. But he's so easy to be around at the same time. He's sitting here beside me now, updating his own Blog!! It was so cool to find someone else who is blogging, just like me.. We've already treated ourselves today to some reflexology and I have also been trying to get back in with the Malaysian cuisine..after having had a bad experience during my first week of the trip with the food here and after adoring the food in Thailand so much.. It's working though, very slowly, but the Malaysian food and the people are redeeming themselves again!
So, it's now a Saturday afternoon. And time is passing by so quickly. I'm delighted to be where I am right now..even if it is raining more than it was in Thailand.. (right now, Malaysia is more effected by the Monsoons). I'm happy here for a few days, until I've come to a conclusion as to what it is I still want to do before I have to leave and where it is I want to go. For now though, having my own time is exactly what I need. It's just perfect..even after believing that I had left perfection back in Kho Phangang.. I haven't though, I've created it once again and am enjoying every minute!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Pretty as a picture
It's a Monday evening - One week since getting here, to Kho Phangang. And all is so calm and peaceful. The guys I met during the ferry ride from Suratani to this island, are still here. I'm still here. We've been hanging out together for a week now, and life is just simply amazing.
I've been discovering so much, I've been doing so little, but feel like I've been here forever, all at the same time. We ended up staying at the same resort for a week and moved to the north side of the island, where it's more isolated. We weren't too fussed with being in a touristy spot, and the bungalows we found instead, were exactly what we imagined ourselves to be staying in when we first set off on our trip to Kho Phangnang. Except now, to make this trip all the more complete, we also found such great friends to share the experience with. None of us cares for parties, for excursions or for crowds.. Yes, we are a right crowd of "partypoopers" I have to say.. But that's what it clicks so well!
So now, we are staying in a place that's as pretty as a picture. Really it is. The bungalows are right on the beach, there's hardly no restaurants, no people, no noise.. That's mainly because the place we're staying in only has electricity from 6pm until 7am. The rest of the day, there can be nothing but people and their books. It's the perfect surrounding for me to do whatever I need right now. I have space, I have great people that are teaching me so much and the best part of all, for the past week, time has gone out the window; so much so that at one stage we had to ask someone what day of the week it was. Not to worry..
Anyway, even though we're isolated, each day we've still been touring the island, exploring all the little remote villages, waterfalls, beaches and mountains by motorbike. But by forgetting time, I'm able to be so happy every moment and I'm savouring every day..even when it turns out differently than we had planned or expected. The weather has been "touch and go", but still hot. We've had some rainy days, but I didn't mind. Getting into the sea when it's raining, is so amazing.
Such precious days like this are meant to be savoured..because they end so suddenly. My visa for Thailand is finished on the 19th of this month. So I have to leave the country soon. I have a few options: I could do a daytrip to Malaysia, to re-enter the country and get another visa and then stay here on Kho Phangnang for Christmas and then make my way back to Malaysia for the 27th, because that's when I fly back to Oz. Or I could leave the country and re-enter on a new visa and visit some other spot in this beautiful country or I could just leave the country and spend a week in Malaysia before flying back to Oz. I'm not too sure what to do. But I'll have to be making up my mind pretty soon, I've only got 4 more days!
There's nobody here to influence my decision, so it's totally up to me.. Do I want to throw myself into some more adventures for just one week and risk the chance of spending Christmas either alone or with people I don't really know OR do I want to stay in paradise for one more week and embrace each day and be pretty certain that I'll be spending Christmas with these guys who I already class as my dear friends..? It would sound as if the answer is right there in the way I described the two options, and you would ask yourself what is being so indecisive for. But that's me I suppose.
Whenever I loose the days, I forget that I have to make up my mind. And today I was brought back to reality and now it's time for me to make up my mind.. Keep you posted xxxx
I've been discovering so much, I've been doing so little, but feel like I've been here forever, all at the same time. We ended up staying at the same resort for a week and moved to the north side of the island, where it's more isolated. We weren't too fussed with being in a touristy spot, and the bungalows we found instead, were exactly what we imagined ourselves to be staying in when we first set off on our trip to Kho Phangnang. Except now, to make this trip all the more complete, we also found such great friends to share the experience with. None of us cares for parties, for excursions or for crowds.. Yes, we are a right crowd of "partypoopers" I have to say.. But that's what it clicks so well!
So now, we are staying in a place that's as pretty as a picture. Really it is. The bungalows are right on the beach, there's hardly no restaurants, no people, no noise.. That's mainly because the place we're staying in only has electricity from 6pm until 7am. The rest of the day, there can be nothing but people and their books. It's the perfect surrounding for me to do whatever I need right now. I have space, I have great people that are teaching me so much and the best part of all, for the past week, time has gone out the window; so much so that at one stage we had to ask someone what day of the week it was. Not to worry..
Anyway, even though we're isolated, each day we've still been touring the island, exploring all the little remote villages, waterfalls, beaches and mountains by motorbike. But by forgetting time, I'm able to be so happy every moment and I'm savouring every day..even when it turns out differently than we had planned or expected. The weather has been "touch and go", but still hot. We've had some rainy days, but I didn't mind. Getting into the sea when it's raining, is so amazing.
Such precious days like this are meant to be savoured..because they end so suddenly. My visa for Thailand is finished on the 19th of this month. So I have to leave the country soon. I have a few options: I could do a daytrip to Malaysia, to re-enter the country and get another visa and then stay here on Kho Phangnang for Christmas and then make my way back to Malaysia for the 27th, because that's when I fly back to Oz. Or I could leave the country and re-enter on a new visa and visit some other spot in this beautiful country or I could just leave the country and spend a week in Malaysia before flying back to Oz. I'm not too sure what to do. But I'll have to be making up my mind pretty soon, I've only got 4 more days!
There's nobody here to influence my decision, so it's totally up to me.. Do I want to throw myself into some more adventures for just one week and risk the chance of spending Christmas either alone or with people I don't really know OR do I want to stay in paradise for one more week and embrace each day and be pretty certain that I'll be spending Christmas with these guys who I already class as my dear friends..? It would sound as if the answer is right there in the way I described the two options, and you would ask yourself what is being so indecisive for. But that's me I suppose.
Whenever I loose the days, I forget that I have to make up my mind. And today I was brought back to reality and now it's time for me to make up my mind.. Keep you posted xxxx
Monday, December 7, 2009
The spirit of Thailand
It's Monday afternoon, the 07th of December. I woke up this morning and couldn't believe how lucky I was.. Just for being here. All afternoon the same feelings have been going around in my heart and my soul. I'm feeling like the richest person alive, just for having these experiences. I can't quite believe how blessed I am to have met these amazing people I'm surrounded by. Already I don't want to leave them. The thoughts of this ending feels wrong, so soon after our meeting. The feelings I've been having, since I got to this island, are unreal. It's all very familiar because I was here on my last trip through Asia, but it feels so much better than I remember it feeling. Just being in Thailand, feels totally different than I remember it feeling. Absolutely everything. It's the spirit of the people that almost fills up the air. I feel almost as if I'm one with everybody. I don't feel like I'm Westerner, or a tourist, or a stranger or an outsider. And I don't want to be a tourist either.. I don't care for doing all the touristy things, just to be able to tick them off of the "list" or to be able to say that I've done and seen it all - which is the case for the majority of backpackers and holidaymakers you come across. For me, it's the people of this country that I meet, what make it amazing. Every single encounter, or gesture, no matter how big or small, is special and gives me an insight into the way they live and the kind-heartedness they possess.
David said something interesting, when we were talking about the feeling or the vibe I got in Thailand, compared to Malaysia for example. He said it's more than likely because it's a Buddhist country and Malaysia is a Muslim country. And being in a Muslim country, as a single girl, traveling alone, can be frowned upon and they express that, through giving off bad vibes. I'm convinced now, that Malaysia isn't necessarily a country I feel I need to be in or need to enjoy or where I need to relax or need to practice yoga or meditation. I'm in Thailand now and I'm delighted to be back here on this island.
While I was traveling up from Kuala Lumpur, I did sometimes have these thoughts that what I was doing was silly, because I was basically following the same route I did, back in 2007! Yes, it felt right what I was doing, but why wasn't I exploring other places? Why am I sticking to what I knew best and why wasn't I taking a risk and venturing to a different island? Well, coming here, was a risk in itself. I didn't know exactly how and if I was going to reach the Sanctuary. And I was just following my feeling. That's why I wasn't going elsewhere. I don't regret it for one minute.. Not when I realized yesterday just how blessed I was to have met German Andy in KL, who told about the Sanctuary, and then to finally make it to the ferry to find out that the Sanctuary was fully booked and then, because of this, to meet the guys I already feel I've known for so long.. It's truly amazing!
I know it seems to have become my favourite word: amazing. But I can't describe it any other way. I'm looking at this country through different eyes, eyes that were closed when I was here first, but are now wide-open. I'm convinced I was meant to get to this island again, and do pretty much the same route I did as the trip in 2007, even if it was only to experience it properly and fully, this time round. Back in 2007, I wasn't too healthy.. I was probably, or most definitely, already suffering from anorexia.. That's why I can feel the difference so much. Back then I was numb, I wasn't fully experiencing, I wanted to be the tourist and tick off the list of things to do. So being here, brought up my suffering from back then. But also what brought it up, was the way I am now experiencing the food. I didn't realize back then, just how delicious and healthy and tasty and diverse their cuisine is. I didn't enjoy it, and I can see now that I closed myself off to experience that side of this culture, that makes up such a big part of getting to know a country and it's way of life. It's truly, again, amazing to now sit with David and have rice for breakfast and experience the food totally and have great talks and great drinks and eat how much and whatever I want. And I'm more grateful than words can say that I'm able to feel the difference..
So, I'm learning so much from this traveling again. My eyes are so open right now and I don't want this to end. I'm living for each and every moment and can't believe how this journey has evolved so far.. It's so exciting!
David said something interesting, when we were talking about the feeling or the vibe I got in Thailand, compared to Malaysia for example. He said it's more than likely because it's a Buddhist country and Malaysia is a Muslim country. And being in a Muslim country, as a single girl, traveling alone, can be frowned upon and they express that, through giving off bad vibes. I'm convinced now, that Malaysia isn't necessarily a country I feel I need to be in or need to enjoy or where I need to relax or need to practice yoga or meditation. I'm in Thailand now and I'm delighted to be back here on this island.
While I was traveling up from Kuala Lumpur, I did sometimes have these thoughts that what I was doing was silly, because I was basically following the same route I did, back in 2007! Yes, it felt right what I was doing, but why wasn't I exploring other places? Why am I sticking to what I knew best and why wasn't I taking a risk and venturing to a different island? Well, coming here, was a risk in itself. I didn't know exactly how and if I was going to reach the Sanctuary. And I was just following my feeling. That's why I wasn't going elsewhere. I don't regret it for one minute.. Not when I realized yesterday just how blessed I was to have met German Andy in KL, who told about the Sanctuary, and then to finally make it to the ferry to find out that the Sanctuary was fully booked and then, because of this, to meet the guys I already feel I've known for so long.. It's truly amazing!
I know it seems to have become my favourite word: amazing. But I can't describe it any other way. I'm looking at this country through different eyes, eyes that were closed when I was here first, but are now wide-open. I'm convinced I was meant to get to this island again, and do pretty much the same route I did as the trip in 2007, even if it was only to experience it properly and fully, this time round. Back in 2007, I wasn't too healthy.. I was probably, or most definitely, already suffering from anorexia.. That's why I can feel the difference so much. Back then I was numb, I wasn't fully experiencing, I wanted to be the tourist and tick off the list of things to do. So being here, brought up my suffering from back then. But also what brought it up, was the way I am now experiencing the food. I didn't realize back then, just how delicious and healthy and tasty and diverse their cuisine is. I didn't enjoy it, and I can see now that I closed myself off to experience that side of this culture, that makes up such a big part of getting to know a country and it's way of life. It's truly, again, amazing to now sit with David and have rice for breakfast and experience the food totally and have great talks and great drinks and eat how much and whatever I want. And I'm more grateful than words can say that I'm able to feel the difference..
So, I'm learning so much from this traveling again. My eyes are so open right now and I don't want this to end. I'm living for each and every moment and can't believe how this journey has evolved so far.. It's so exciting!
Welcome to paradise!
Leaving Hat Yai on Saturday afternoon.. After all the fuss and commotion of coming so far, I felt so close to my "final destination": Kho Phangnang.
But, judging by how the trip had been going up until that point, I shouldn't really have been surprised when things didn't go the way I had "planned".
I was supposed to get the nightboat to the island, which was meant to be leaving at 11pm. This was also my bed for the night. But when I realized that I had been "shafted" when I bought the ticket, I couldn't help but laugh at myself.. Because when the minibus finally made it to the peer in Sura Tani (which was the some of the most insane driving I've had to sit through before in my life), the taxi driver told me in the very few words of English he had: "no boat". This is all he said to me. I couldn't believe it.. I asked him questions, I spoke about what I had been told when I bought the ticket, and all he kept on repeating was: "no boat". He then said: "you home?". By this he meant: where is your home, or where can I drop you". This is when I slowly started to panic. I told him, all flustered, that I don't have a home!
Holy moly, it was 11.30pm and he was wanting to drop in this city, that I didn't know and where I had nowhere to stay. I then started having visions of me having to sleep under a bench.. Oopss... I felt frustrated because of not being understood and not being able to communicate and I think it was only natural for me to start feeling pretty sorry for myself. The poor dude started to feel really bad, because he couldn't speak to me and I couldn't speak with him and I had no where to go. But thank the heavens above that we stumbled upon a hotel, where they had a room for me!! And it was the best night sleep I've had in ages. The fact that I had been travelling for 36 hours straight, helped of course. It was so clean, I had my own bathroom, I had a tv!! And all that, for only 440 Baht (which is around 20 euros). Wouw.. I was so lucky. It all worked out in the end, but I did learn from this little hick-up.. I learnt never to get frustrated because of the language barrier, which is what I did. I learnt never to expect them to understand what I'm trying to say or what I'm asking, because they don't. I learnt never to believe a Thai person, when I can sense that they don't understand what I'm saying, because I put my trust in them. I know it wasn't intentional for them to give me the wrong information, and I don't want it to take away the faith I have in the people here. But I'll know better next time.
So the following morning, I booked a ticket for the ferry, I had some time to kill and so I was hunting down breakfast. Well, do you think I could get a bowl of cereal or toast anywhere!! Not a chance. I went into this restaurant and had rice and chicken for my breakkie!! This is what they all have for breakfast, or noodles.. It was the first time I've ever has this, so early in the morning. It was spicy, it was beautiful, and such a great way to start yet another day in traveling paradise. I was excited at the thoughts of what this new day was going to bring, even after all the panic and excitement of the night before..
The ferry was due to leave at 14.00, and thank the heavens above, I made it without any problems. Before I got on, I rang the Sanctuary on the island and was told that there was no vacancies.. I didn't mind though, and was actually pleased for some strange reason and started thinking it might even be a good idea to go back to the bungalow park I stayed at when I was on the island 2 years ago. So with this in mind, I got on the ferry and felt amazing. This was the right thing I was doing..even though the Sanctuary wasn't proving to be the place I was going to end up..after coming all that way. But I didn't care, I was flying so high!! On the ferry, a representative from a resort was offering private bungalows for 200 baht a night! That's 10euro! I was again delighted and totally chuffed and even more so when I met an Italian guy by the name of David who was also going to the same place. Yey! I met me another friend! This ferry journey, went by unnoticed, because me and this guy chatted as if we had been friends for years. It was a crazy meeting and 24 hours later, after having a great night of eating amazing Thai food and drinking beer on the beach, which is also where our accommodation was, we have now moved to another resort with an even bigger and more beautiful beach, with another girl and a guy from Poland. So we've been hanging out ever since and we all get along and fit together so well. It's like we've formed our own little family already..
So for now, until I feel it's time to go, I'll be here. I'm finally chilling out, after 48 hours of being on the go. It's now time for me to take the me-time I'm after. I will be bril!!
But, judging by how the trip had been going up until that point, I shouldn't really have been surprised when things didn't go the way I had "planned".
I was supposed to get the nightboat to the island, which was meant to be leaving at 11pm. This was also my bed for the night. But when I realized that I had been "shafted" when I bought the ticket, I couldn't help but laugh at myself.. Because when the minibus finally made it to the peer in Sura Tani (which was the some of the most insane driving I've had to sit through before in my life), the taxi driver told me in the very few words of English he had: "no boat". This is all he said to me. I couldn't believe it.. I asked him questions, I spoke about what I had been told when I bought the ticket, and all he kept on repeating was: "no boat". He then said: "you home?". By this he meant: where is your home, or where can I drop you". This is when I slowly started to panic. I told him, all flustered, that I don't have a home!
Holy moly, it was 11.30pm and he was wanting to drop in this city, that I didn't know and where I had nowhere to stay. I then started having visions of me having to sleep under a bench.. Oopss... I felt frustrated because of not being understood and not being able to communicate and I think it was only natural for me to start feeling pretty sorry for myself. The poor dude started to feel really bad, because he couldn't speak to me and I couldn't speak with him and I had no where to go. But thank the heavens above that we stumbled upon a hotel, where they had a room for me!! And it was the best night sleep I've had in ages. The fact that I had been travelling for 36 hours straight, helped of course. It was so clean, I had my own bathroom, I had a tv!! And all that, for only 440 Baht (which is around 20 euros). Wouw.. I was so lucky. It all worked out in the end, but I did learn from this little hick-up.. I learnt never to get frustrated because of the language barrier, which is what I did. I learnt never to expect them to understand what I'm trying to say or what I'm asking, because they don't. I learnt never to believe a Thai person, when I can sense that they don't understand what I'm saying, because I put my trust in them. I know it wasn't intentional for them to give me the wrong information, and I don't want it to take away the faith I have in the people here. But I'll know better next time.
So the following morning, I booked a ticket for the ferry, I had some time to kill and so I was hunting down breakfast. Well, do you think I could get a bowl of cereal or toast anywhere!! Not a chance. I went into this restaurant and had rice and chicken for my breakkie!! This is what they all have for breakfast, or noodles.. It was the first time I've ever has this, so early in the morning. It was spicy, it was beautiful, and such a great way to start yet another day in traveling paradise. I was excited at the thoughts of what this new day was going to bring, even after all the panic and excitement of the night before..
The ferry was due to leave at 14.00, and thank the heavens above, I made it without any problems. Before I got on, I rang the Sanctuary on the island and was told that there was no vacancies.. I didn't mind though, and was actually pleased for some strange reason and started thinking it might even be a good idea to go back to the bungalow park I stayed at when I was on the island 2 years ago. So with this in mind, I got on the ferry and felt amazing. This was the right thing I was doing..even though the Sanctuary wasn't proving to be the place I was going to end up..after coming all that way. But I didn't care, I was flying so high!! On the ferry, a representative from a resort was offering private bungalows for 200 baht a night! That's 10euro! I was again delighted and totally chuffed and even more so when I met an Italian guy by the name of David who was also going to the same place. Yey! I met me another friend! This ferry journey, went by unnoticed, because me and this guy chatted as if we had been friends for years. It was a crazy meeting and 24 hours later, after having a great night of eating amazing Thai food and drinking beer on the beach, which is also where our accommodation was, we have now moved to another resort with an even bigger and more beautiful beach, with another girl and a guy from Poland. So we've been hanging out ever since and we all get along and fit together so well. It's like we've formed our own little family already..
So for now, until I feel it's time to go, I'll be here. I'm finally chilling out, after 48 hours of being on the go. It's now time for me to take the me-time I'm after. I will be bril!!
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Caution..It's a bit of confusion!-2
By this stage it was 9pm. The bus was leaving KL at 10.30 and I still wanted to check availability, check my budget and check what transport I'd need. So much to do, but we were both so excited. We got on the net, and I managed to find out that the accommodation won't take online bookings and that I can only ring on the day of arrival to see if there's room.. I also found out that it's not at all expensive.. Me and Andy couldn't quite believe how our meeting had turned into something that could be so meaningful. It was amazing.. We said our goodbyes and hope to see each other again soon. But I still didn't have any certainty. I was leaving KL without a proper destination or plan in mind. This was totally new to me!! But I did decide at this point, that I would ring the hostels on Langkawi in the morning, once the bus arrived at the pier just to make sure that there's no vacancies. But at this point, the thoughts of Langkawi felt so wrong, when Kho Phangnang felt so right..
I sat on the bus, after traipsing through the city, and all I could do was dream about being there.. I was so far ahead of myself, it was unreal. The journey to the pier was 7 hours, I didn't get much sleep, and all I did was "daydream" about me being Leonarde diCaprio, starring in the beach.. He was in seach of something different from the normal backpacker scene, he was venturing out into the unknown, he was going to extremes as he was trying to find what it was he was searching for and didn't have a clue if what he was going to find, was what he expected. How amazing.. No wonder i didn't sleep much..haha. When I did wake up from the little sleep I got, last night all felt like a dream. But it wasn't!! It was all happening..as long as I was brave enough to take a chance and see if my meeting Andy was all part of the "master plan"... how cool!
We got to the peer at 06.30am. What was I going to do? Follow what felt right..which was go to check if the sanctuary is all it's cracked up to be, and take a leap of faith..or Follow my initial plan and risk having to pay 100euros for one night on Langkawi.. Twice i stood in line and twice I left the line. I didn't care at the stage that I had no clue of how to get to Kho Phangnang exactly, all I knew was that I had to go somewhere and I wasn't going to pay so much money on being in a place I didn't want to be.. So I hopped into a cab, got the trainstation in a town called Arau where I met the most nicest people and chatted for ages. I was still on such a high from the night before. I got the train to Hat Yai, which is the first town over the Thai boarder. It's also where I"m sitting right now, 5 hours later. I still can't quite believe how I landed myself here.
It's feels so great being back in Thailand again, surrounded by such beautiful people. I"m loving every minute of it! The people are so warm and the spirit in the air is totally different to that of Malaysia. It's so beautiful. The amount of smiles I"ve gotten already, is amazing.. Not like in KL, where you're afraid to smile for fear of what that person might think. No here in Thailand, you give a smile and one is returned!!
So now, my bus is due to leave at 05.00pm and i then have an overnight boat to Kho Phangnang. I get there at 06.00am tomorrow morning. I'll be a zombie and stinking.. but I don't care. I'll have taken a risk, and hopefully I have got to where i want to be. But the funny thing is that when I get there, I still won't know if the Sanctuary has a bed for my wee head.. And even funnier is that I'm not worried or stressed about it all. If it's meant to be, it will be. If not, at least I'll have tried and I'll have met some amazing people along the way and have had some great adventures too..
I'm in the land of smiles now.. so that's all I can do!!!
I sat on the bus, after traipsing through the city, and all I could do was dream about being there.. I was so far ahead of myself, it was unreal. The journey to the pier was 7 hours, I didn't get much sleep, and all I did was "daydream" about me being Leonarde diCaprio, starring in the beach.. He was in seach of something different from the normal backpacker scene, he was venturing out into the unknown, he was going to extremes as he was trying to find what it was he was searching for and didn't have a clue if what he was going to find, was what he expected. How amazing.. No wonder i didn't sleep much..haha. When I did wake up from the little sleep I got, last night all felt like a dream. But it wasn't!! It was all happening..as long as I was brave enough to take a chance and see if my meeting Andy was all part of the "master plan"... how cool!
We got to the peer at 06.30am. What was I going to do? Follow what felt right..which was go to check if the sanctuary is all it's cracked up to be, and take a leap of faith..or Follow my initial plan and risk having to pay 100euros for one night on Langkawi.. Twice i stood in line and twice I left the line. I didn't care at the stage that I had no clue of how to get to Kho Phangnang exactly, all I knew was that I had to go somewhere and I wasn't going to pay so much money on being in a place I didn't want to be.. So I hopped into a cab, got the trainstation in a town called Arau where I met the most nicest people and chatted for ages. I was still on such a high from the night before. I got the train to Hat Yai, which is the first town over the Thai boarder. It's also where I"m sitting right now, 5 hours later. I still can't quite believe how I landed myself here.
It's feels so great being back in Thailand again, surrounded by such beautiful people. I"m loving every minute of it! The people are so warm and the spirit in the air is totally different to that of Malaysia. It's so beautiful. The amount of smiles I"ve gotten already, is amazing.. Not like in KL, where you're afraid to smile for fear of what that person might think. No here in Thailand, you give a smile and one is returned!!
So now, my bus is due to leave at 05.00pm and i then have an overnight boat to Kho Phangnang. I get there at 06.00am tomorrow morning. I'll be a zombie and stinking.. but I don't care. I'll have taken a risk, and hopefully I have got to where i want to be. But the funny thing is that when I get there, I still won't know if the Sanctuary has a bed for my wee head.. And even funnier is that I'm not worried or stressed about it all. If it's meant to be, it will be. If not, at least I'll have tried and I'll have met some amazing people along the way and have had some great adventures too..
I'm in the land of smiles now.. so that's all I can do!!!
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