The Novice

Yesterday morning I found myself getting ready for yet another ‘first time’ experience. As I was grounding myself and gathering composure for the day, I wondered… ‘How many more ‘first times’ can a person have?’ For the past year I feel like I’ve had more ‘first times’ than a child who’s stepping out into the world to see what’s on offer. I’d never complain though. It’s a sure sign of a new life – a life I’ve asked for and am now in the process of continuously receiving. And I guess ‘first times’ can be endless if we continue trying new things, in order to find what suits us best in each given moment. As well, if we really choose to see ourselves through new eyes, the world outside starts to take on a different look too. It’s inevitable. Then it simply becomes time to place our new selves newly in that new world – each time, for the ‘first time’.

I’m actually relieved to know that I’ll still be having AT LEAST another 1000 ‘first times’ in my life. It makes it easier to simply relax into each experience, to chill-out and enjoy the ride! How drained would we become if every new step we take – that brings us a little bit beyond our comfort zone – would be taken with fear, anxiety and pressure?! There’s no fun in that at all! And these steps are meant to be loved and savoured… Not feared… I guess the lesson is to savour the steps even if the ground we walk upon is unknown; because the vision ahead – when it remains clear – tells us everything is always okay. This is quite an effective key.

Back to yesterday morning… I’d been asked by my sister’s college mates to come in as a guest speaker and give a talk about the book. They’d seen my interview on tv and wanted to hear more. Great opportunity! Even though it wasn’t my first talk in front of a group or in a college, it WAS a first time to be talking to mature students doing a degree. Yesterday I used the key of ‘savouring and visioning’ and I opened the door to let 16 mature students in to my world. It’s a world I may have put into words, a world that may have my name on the cover, a world that people may not know a great deal about, a world I may have had to live in and a world I’ve luckily moved beyond. I took them into a world that’s experienced by so many others in 

this present day.

My story unravelled and it became deeper and more complex. The silence in the room became louder. But my voice never stopped. I didn’t have to overthink my thread and the words seemed to come out of nowhere. I don’t even know what I exactly spoke, but I know it was effective. I started to feel my feet being pulled into the ground, I felt their eyes witnessing my past as my spoken words continued to fill the silent room. I stood… without hardly moving an inch. Just as the students… who sat, without a flinch. I’d captured them; they were open, they were understanding, they were learning. An unexpected awe started filling the room. Outside of my voice, pins would’ve been heard dropping.

I moved through my story towards the end, or should I say, the present-day life I live – which is a vibrant, happy and open one, with heightened awareness to what has brought me to be the person I am today. For me, it felt amazing to stand and ultimately relate the conscious life I’m choosing to live, for the sake of a free spirit. For them – when I look back on it now – it was as if they were struck more by the darkness than by the light I’d come to experience.

Something tells me it was confronting for many and the darkness I spoke of was a reflection for them, which brought them to question their own selves from such a deep space. It was quite tough to realize that I’d taken them to such a place – a place they may not have expected to find, simply through learning of an eating disorder. At the same time, it illustrates the truth of suffering – regardless of how the suffering manifests itself.

Just as light can be the reality of life, so can darkness. The ‘trick’ is to realize that, whether we’re in the light or the dark, we have to take responsibility for any shadows in our lives and consciously change our ways. Only with honesty can a person be real about their current reality. And not until a person is strong enough to be true, will their reality remain the colour they feel it to be.

This was quite a revealing hour, I have to say. Afterwards I wanted to shake everybody about, get them to lighten-up and rejoice for this amazing life we’re living. But it wasn’t really the time or the place. So I simply thanked them and hoped in my heart to have helped in some way. 

As well, it was amazing that I had the highest level of acceptance I’ve probably ever had, for the fact that I can’t ever be perfect at whatever I choose to put my hands to. Nor do I want to be perfect. That’s not what I’m striving for. Because with perfection, there’s rigidity, no flow and we’re less fluid. It’s a way of living that suppresses, judges, criticizes and condemns us. It’s a way that crushes the effort we’ve put in and robs the spark of life that could be ignited if we were to be accepting of our imperfections and realize they’re something positive that encourage us to keep learning and expanding further. One step further… by feeling how precious it is to be so imperfect...

Great Expectations

Life simply continues, after a tv appearance…

After feeling a wave of adrenaline for a few hours and a bout of panic that followed the initial off-air rush of life, I felt calm and confident that I’d done the right thing, by exposing myself so completely. As well I felt lucky to have had that short appearance. I know it happened mainly due to my publisher Lorraine. I wouldn’t have had this opportunity if she hadn’t been so persistent in contacting the tv-stations. Her persistence hasn’t only paid-off in getting me on the television but also in getting the book to as many distributors and retailers as possible. And for things to be taking off, she deserves so much credit and my endless gratitude. Thanks Lorraine… You’re a gem! Hard work and patience really DOES pay off!

Since I started writing so openly, nearly 5 years ago, I’ve claimed my life is an open book. I’ve always said that everyone is welcome to take a glance. I’ll open my heart and bare my soul to the world, if I get the chance. In my exposure and soul-baring writing, I realize I’ve not only been teaching myself but alongside that, I’ve unknowingly been setting an example. And this really only came to light after I appeared on tv.

It’s probably naïve of me to not have fully been aware that my writing has put me ‘up there’ as an inspiration to others. I say this, not from an egotistical perspective, but from a real perspective (I never started exposing myself in order to feel better than anyone else – instead for the intention of sharing and inspiring). And I can safely say, again NOT from an egotistical perspective, that it’s time for me to start recognizing that I CAN be an inspiration and therefore WILL remain in the light of life.

After being on television, I see how I’ve placed quite some expectations on myself. If others look to me as an inspiration, then I have to live as being that. But I don’t need to TRY to be that inspiration. So far, I’ve never pushed for this to happen. It’s simply how things have evolved. Therefore I don’t need to stress or push that I’m NOT living up the standard I’ve set for myself. I can trust that by simply being me, I’m doing what I can and sharing what I know. And any expectations that have been placed on me, by having exposed myself, are expectations that require me to simply continue healing what needs to be healed, learning what needs to be learned, speaking what needs to be spoken, writing what needs to be written.

The expectation is in the message and the message is HEALING and TRUTH. I trust myself enough that I’ll stand by what I speak and write and I’ll be an example. It’s safe to say, I’ve come so far, to trust that I CAN and WILL do everything in my power to stand by the truth that I’ve exposed, over these past 6 months, since launching the book. This is a huge step-up when taking my own healing process into account.

I’ve said this many times before and will say it again today: life really is a journey. I see now, clearer than ever before, how we’re all at different stages of evolution. Some of us have experienced more than others, learned more than others, seen more than others. However, it doesn’t mean we’re better or worse. It simply means we’re all at different stages, exposed to different circumstances. Yet we’re making this journey together. We’re all here to help each other along. We stretch our hands out to those behind us, so they can step easier to the next stage, just as those in front offer us a helping hand so we can lean temporarily and move onwards to even brighter platforms.

I’ve taken steps others are now finding the courage to take and I can offer a helping hand. That helping hand shows itself as my light and my words – either spoken or written. I can show how far I’ve since come and will continue to share how far I’ll still go as I express my journey that takes place in the light. Only that way can I ignite a spark in the darkness that others might be experiencing.

I know, in my heart, that I’m on the path leading towards living a free life whilst shining bright in the light of day, regardless of time, space and circumstance – not for wanting to be better than anybody else, but to feel in my heart, that I can be freer than I already am and then excel at what I’m doing if free is how I remain.

There aren’t any guarantees in life. We don’t know what the next stages will bring. All we can do is trust in our inner power and strength that keeps us alive, free and flowing through situations and experiences.

Bringing this back to the present day… I’m unknowing as to how things will unfold. But I’m trusting in the power of purpose and I’m taking it one step at a time.

I’ve been in Arklow 3 weeks now and I’m more connected to the world around me. I’m grounding myself and realizing I need to keep focussing on being HERE. I’m living more IN my body and stepping out of my head. I’m letting my heart open up to the world around me. And my god… how I’ve missed the connection! It’s already leading me onwards to where I need to be.

So it’s happy days… here in Ireland’s approaching springtime! A sure sign of new life, new times, new energy and new opportunities. What an amazing ride…

Full Exposure - Ireland AM

Yesterday, the 13th, I had an interview on Ireland AM - a national morning talk show. What an experience... One I'm so blessed to have had.

The day before, I put myself in something of a zone, so I could prepare and distance myself from the apprehensive nerves coming from those around me. Instead I needed to create something of a grounded excitement and not lose sight of the reason I was going on, in the first place. It wasn't for the hype surrounding LIVE television and meeting some Irish celebrities. No. I was going on so I could speak openly about my experiences and inspire where needs be.

I was stepping away from 'hiding' behind the words in my published book and moving towards exposing myself - not only through my spoken voice - but through my whole presence. It's as if the whole parcel of who I've become, since recovery, was presenting itself to the Irish world, all within the space of a 10-minute slot on national television yesterday morning.

I didn't actually realize how huge an impact this tv appearance could have, on viewers, as well as myself.... not until myself and Louise (the psychotherapist who came on the show with me - she's also become a lovely friend, since meeting her a few months ago, after she read my book) were waiting to take place on the lovely sitting room set-up, only 10 minutes before I was due to go on air. I had one moment of panic... 'Shit... I can't do this... I can't get up and speak to the nation... this is too much!!!' But I kept on breathing, kept on grounding myself, kept myself focussed and continued to remind myself WHY I was doing this. I had to ignore the thoughts that were going to block me from speaking my truth and cause me to stutter, fear and feel flustered. I had to erase the images of 100s and thousands of viewers, who would maybe either judging my appearance or hanging on my every word.

Instead of fuelling those thoughts, I stayed in my zone until I actually sat down on the couch and became familiar with the presenters. And, wow, how warm and welcoming they were...!! I felt so at home... Before we went on air, the lady simply said... 'Niamh, we're just having a chat, we're out for coffee and you're just telling us your story.' I thought.. 'Yes... I LOVE chatting over tea... and this will be fine...' Then, without even realizing, things started rolling and the flow soon came.

As I sat there, talking about such deep stuff, in the corner of my eye I saw the pictures of myself... The ones I never before thought I'd expose... to anybody... let alone the WHOLE OF IRELAND... It was the pictures of myself, at my lowest weight. They floated by on the large screen. Before going on air, I didn't know if they were going to show them, but I'd kind of prepared myself. Just as well I did, because when they floated by, I didn't panic. The images didn't snatch my train of thought or unsettle me. That was due to having grounded myself so firmly in the PURPOSE of WHY I was exposing myself so completely.

The reason behind it, was to give a reflection of an illness at its worst, a reflection of a person who is 'me', but really is somebody I no longer know, recognize or identify myself with. I did this, so I could stand beside them and say... 'This is where I've come from BUT this is where I'm at NOW...' I was so important, for myself too, to present the living, breathing expression of health I've so far become. It's what  a sufferer can also aim to be, once they start setting themselves free.

The road I've had to travel, before reaching a point where I feel strong enough in my sense of self and aware enough of where I stand in this life, has been a long one. But I'm finally able to stand up and say that person on the screen, weighing next to nothing, was somebody I once was. It's no longer who I am. In that time, I never imagined I'd, some day, in the relatively near future, choose to go on the television hoping to inspire others so they too can move through their pain and come out in to the light and stand in the brightness of this amazing life. But I finally did it... It was obviously intended.

After the interview, I was flying high. Myself and Louise were on fire... feeling so strongly we'd set something in motion and were doing amazingly beneficial work. We felt we wanted and COULD heal the world... It was as if something had only started and there was HUGE work to do... I felt I WOULD do it.

Hours later, I was landing, of course. I was at home, starting to feel drained and overwhelmed by what I'd done and the supportive response I was getting. A critical voice inside my head was trying to get the better of me... I, briefly, started doubting WHY I'd chosen to expose myself... I started fearing judgment and rejection from this world. It's all old stuff, that will try to hold me back - especially when I'd climbed a mountain that morning by revealing myself so completely to the whole of Ireland.

Yet... I accepted what was happening. I understood WHY I was feeling doubts and fears. And instantly, in that acceptance, the emotions subsided and I was calm. I knew I'd done the right thing, by exposing myself so fully. In that, I felt more in my strength than I've felt in a very very long time. It's almost as if I can say... 'I've arrived'. I don't know where exactly... I don't know how exactly... All I know is that it feels deeply empowering, liberating and indestructible.

This is the link to the recording on the tv3 website. You can copy and paste and hopefully have a look.

http://www.tv3.ie/3player/show/184/59215/1/Ireland-AM

APPEARING ON TV

It’s true what they say: Once we let-go, we make space for what’s really meant to enter our lives. When we stop with the pushing and the forcing of things we simply MUST experience, we detach from those necessities and if it’s meant to be, it will come.

A week ago, I got the most amazing news from my publisher… the producer from one of Irelands major morning talk shows had responded to our interview request! They finally wanted to give me a slot on the show Ireland AM (familiar to most people living in Ireland). The interview will be LIVE on TV3 on the 13^th of Feb (so, this Wednesday morning) at 08.15 (GMT). 

When I first heard this news, I was nervous as hell. But within minutes the nerves subsided and I was sooooooo grateful to have this opportunity! I felt as though Ireland had opened up, and was finally saying YES to Digesting Wisdom and to Niamh Keoghan. I know it sounds silly to base my feelings of acceptance and approval on one single show that wants to broadcast my story… but, when you’re promoting a book, you're dealing with the media and those different media channels ARE the bridge between the book and the readers. So maybe it’s not that odd to feel as if suddenly this country is more accepting and open to what I'm willing to share. 

A part from this I felt, and still feel.... LUCKY beyong words!!!!! I mean, how unique is this?! From Ireland’s perspective - and most Irish will understand - getting a slot on Ireland AM is NEARLY as big as it gets! Here on this little island in the west of Europe, I’m just one step away from the ‘Irish Oprah’ (which is the Late Late Show – Irelands most popular talk show that goes to air every Friday evening). But, I won’t jump too much ahead… Because, this first tv appearance is quite a blessing.

I know my book got their attention, due to it being national Eating Disorders Awareness Week here in Ireland, from the 11^th till the 17^th. So, it’s perfect timing for me to spread the message and bring the availability of this book to the awareness of EVERYONE. Only that way, can it start spreading like wildfire. Because, so far, it’s been slow going. My publisher has been working her ass off trying to get this country on board in helping us spread this book and the message it holds. 

For months, we’ve been feeling the flow was stuck, because certain media channels as well suppliers, weren’t so supportive or so responsive. For that reason, whenever people would ask me about the sales, I’d consciously say I don’t know. For one, it’s not everybody’s business… and another thing is that I chose consciously not to engage in the figures, to avoid pressure and a feeling of not doing enough 'work' in promoting it. Therefore I don’t know where exactly every copy has found its home. I’ve learned, since the launch in August, that this is a story that will live on forever and each individual copy will go where it’s meant to… when the time is right. It will take on a life of its own. 

In just in the last few weeks though, certain blockages have been released and the country and media is opening up. This interview is proof. And it’s quite amazing.

In many ways, this is what I’ve personally been waiting for, ever since I came back from India a year ago. With Lorraine (the publisher) we’d be speaking constantly of needing some ‘major’ media exposure that’s fast and effective – reaching thousands of people across the nation, in an instant… And it’s happening.

I’ve no idea what will unfold for the book, once this happens. But it can only be good stuff. It might answer more questions for myself too, in terms of what direction I want to head towards. Then again, in my heart I already know, so there won’t be any major shocking revelations or huge changes. Who knows though… because as it stands, every day my life seems to change just that little bit more. Step by step. And every intention that’s already been set, is also coming to unfold. Just like this interview. It’s yet another wish, another dream, that’s coming true. Things won’t stop unfolding after Wednesday.

This opportunity is proof enough to me that by setting an intention within our heart and letting it go, it will eventually come into our lives - if it's meant for us - when the time and circumstances are right. So I’ll continue to focus my intentions and welcome what’s meant to be.

Be sure to tune-in, if you’re in Ireland, this Wednesday morning at 08.15. TV3, Ireland AM.

If you’re not in Ireland, then it could be possible to watch live streaming, on their website, www.tv3.ie/ierland_am I’ll also do my best to get a recording and link it to facebook. Wish me luck!!!!

 

The first signing... Insights all around me!

December 1^st – the first book signing. And how did it go? Well, different than expected. Actually, I’m not too sure what I’d expected. Rows and rows of people falling out of the sky, eager to ‘meet the author of…’? Is that what I had in mind? Well, considering the fact that nobody knows me from Adam, no, that’s not what I’d expected. But this morning, before heading out the door, I just hoped that I wouldn’t be sitting there like a lost soul on a deserted island without anybody in sight. And that didn’t happen! What I’d also hoped for was for those who did just so happen to stroll on by the little table at which I was sitting, just outside Eason’s bookstore in the Bridgewater Shopping Centre in Arklow town from 11.30am this morning, to at least be interested in knowing what the book is about. And that wasn’t really what happened… Or maybe from a distance people were paying an interest, but up-close and personal, it wasn’t really the case. Most shoppers/browsers seemed daunted to come up to the table and see the book that’d been written by someone from the town. It was as if they were scared, for whatever reason; scared they’d ‘have’ to buy the book or simply uninterested and distracted by the hype that was going (Santa was in the Shopping Centre too, so there were lots of kids. I actually thought that would be a good thing, but on hindsight, maybe not).

Having said that… almost everyone who strolled by DID at least take a second glance, just to see the author outside of Eason’s. God… I was delighted when some people ‘dared’ to come over, look at the book and accept a bookmark from me! I mean, am I that scary? Hummmm… Then it clicked: Ahhhh…. Niamh… you’re not scary, but the topic of the book is a ‘sore’ and ‘sensitive’ subject. I mean, come on, I HAVE to see things from other people’s perspective too…

This book is about anorexia… People, especially if they’re insecure for whatever reasons, can easily be taken-back if they come to stand face-to-face with somebody who is happily sharing their story about an illness that destroys and even takes the lives of thousands of people. Whereas I’m sitting there, giving myself full exposure, not giving 2 hoots, just wishing to make a difference... As if I’ve not a care in the world, as if it’s the lightest of books to read, as if I’m promoting a story of fictional magic that’s accessible to anybody and everybody and doesn’t bring people to face their fears! And, realistically, if anybody IS experiencing any degree of insecurity, they’re hardly going to come up to a table that’s in the middle of the busiest place in Arklow and ‘expose’ themselves as having interest in a book about anorexia! God… Duuuhhhh!!!!! It’s something that’s such a taboo…

As well, we all know what it’s like when we go into a bookshop, we buy a book, and if it’s on ‘bad’ days we can feel self-conscious and judged by others who are browsing or even by the staff, simply because of our choice of book – regardless if they actually are or aren’t judging us. As I’m writing this, I'm mainly having visions of youngsters; those who know that something’s wrong with their habitual behaviour or compulsive need to unhealthily control their lives, but are too ashamed, self-conscious and scared to own-up, open-up and take tiny steps in changing their ways.

Another thing struck me today too, as I sat there. Holy smoke… (what a day of insights I’ve had… simply for sitting at table… ‘signing’ the odd book!) I realized: Wow! THIS is what I’m standing up and placing myself in the public eye as BEING! (even if the ‘public eye’ is still only the eyes of the Arklow) I know I’ve been over this a million times before… But today it clicked once again: With time, as things take on more of a direction, this really IS the ‘thing’ I’ll be recognized for: Anorexia, Recovered. Wow! Is this me, labelled for life? Will it travel with me? Or will I be leaving it in the past, by setting it free in the world, as I continue to stand beside it and reach the people? Hummm… 

But by standing by this book, I’m not actually letting it go? Or maybe, I’m just changing the ‘relationship’ with ‘it’, with the eating disorder, with that chapter of my life. Yes… I see how it is! For nearly 6 years it’s been a part of my life (in 2006 it started setting in). It tightened its grip until 2008, then it loosed and released and I kept it loose for quite some time. Then it took up a different space in my life: it brought me to write Digesting Wisdom. Suddenly it tightened its grip again (in China) and I’ve been loosening it ever since. And right now, where I’m at is that it’s bringing me to write again! Through it all, it’s been teaching and guiding me, even as it manifested and was destroying me. It’s been such a huge part of my life, for years – and I have to see how the relationship needs to keep changing, as it’s turning into the purest of forms. Letting it go… passing it on…

I know now that if I don’t continue to stand by it, let it go and make something pure of it, the disorder will STILL be with me, but the power it then holds will, once again, become destructive. This is what I've learned over the past 3 years. So, for my own sake, I have to keep standing by this every-changing relationship, on every level. I have to see how, yes, it’s been my demon, but how it’s become my gift – whether or not others are terrified of what I’m willing to be recognized for. I have to see how it’s been my teacher and has put me on this amazing path. Even if I can feel exposed, and at times, terrified. But that’s fine! It’s a process of change and clearance. I’m teaching myself and growing beyond this and becoming stronger than such a false power. The lessons I was meant to learn, as a result of anorexia, are STILL on-going. I’m still teaching myself, through writing, and if it’s possible, I’ll continue to share these lessons as time comes to pass.

It’s all a process of change that unfolds one step at a time. Nothing is instant and nothing should be forced, whatever those around me may say. After quite some doubting and questioning, I’m now certain that I’m not letting anorexia dictate who I am, in the eyes of those who I come to cross paths with, but I’m letting anorexia be a part of who I’m still becoming. And what or who that is…? Maybe somebody who is simply seeking a balanced, happy, inspiring, creative and loving life. Isn’t that what everyone wants? I think so… therefore I’m no different. At the source, we’re all the same, we’re all in this game, playing the hand of cards we’ve been given so we can make the most out of our time here on earth. And that’s all I’m doing. So I continue to let go. Thank you thank you thank you and love you love you love you love you love you!!!!

Standing strong

Since the launch, things have been happening at lightning speed. I can’t believe how much everything has changed. I knew this was going to happen of course. But if the change brings you into an area in life that has, up until this point in time, been unexplored and unknown then it’s pretty difficult to estimate how the changes will be experienced. So… here I sit, on the sofa in my Mam’s place in Arklow, to breathe and witness the movement that’s ongoing.

The whole of August flew by. The first week I ran to my aunt’s place in Kildare to get some writing space, I came back to get the last things for the launch prepared and 5 days later I eloped to Ennis (the west of Ireland) for nearly 2 weeks to sit little a Buddha and withdraw myself from this world. I never really had time to process that whole experience or to get ‘over it’ gradually, which I knew would be the case. So it’s all well and good… I've not a single regret to have 'eloped' to the meditation course, because without it I’d not be managing to keep myself grounded and focussed. As soon as silence broke, it was time to open up to the world good and proper; within 3 days I was speaking to 1000s on the radio! That really WAS going from one extreme to the other! 2 days after the radio interview, I had an interview with the local paper (today the interview was featured in the Wicklow People!) and a few hours later I was standing in front of my nearest and dearest to set my little project free. It’s no wonder that when I sat down on Friday afternoon I was almost zombified… but satisfied… ooooohhhhh so satisfied and more content than anyone could ever imagine.

Saturday I was overwhelmed by the responses that came through email and Facebook. Wouw… It was the strangest thing to find that people were contacting me, people I’ve known for years but not been in touch with. I never expected anything like that at all! That was a huge day… and a burst of life came out of nowhere… But Sunday, again, I was zombified and slept for Ireland… a very rare treat!

Ever since, I’ve been going through these moods and moments of thinking ‘Oh my god, it’s actually happening’. Slowly people will be recognizing me, feeling inspired by my story, connecting with me through my writing and seeing me as an example or a representation of what can come of a life if someone gets through a very tough time. This is so new to me… I’ve only ever dreamed of being recognized as a writer with substance. Now it’s no longer a vision in my mind, but a reality on every level…

There they stand: a writer and a reader of the book. The writer has poured their heart and soul into a piece of work, but doesn’t feel it’s anything huge. The reader stands in front of the writer who is starting to share their deepest darkest fear with the world. There’s a feeling of admiration and motivation coming from the reader. And the writer wonders… ‘Why feel so inspired to stand face to face with someone who has simply put truth into words and, for the sake of LIFE itself, will do anything they can to spread it? Isn't this a normal turn of events? Doesn't everyone do this?' Hummmm… The reader’s response and their enthusiasm are like a gift the writer graciously receives. But, due to not fully realizing the extent of work that has so far been done on the writer’s behalf, they feel such responses to be overwhelming.

Yesterday I realized just how life-changing this is going to be. This is full exposure of my everything… And it’s a huge test: Can I stand strong and be the representation of spirit I eventually describe, as a result of recovering from anorexia? Can I be the physical presence of the spiritual essence that comes to life in this book? Do I have it in me, to never feel negatively judged, criticized or labelled by society, now that I’ll most likely be speaking of the writing that is slowly reaching people? Can I cope with any possible scrutiny that may come my way? This is a test of the ability I have to be the strength of LIFE that comes when living in alignment with spirit.

If I pass the test, I can say ‘yes’ to all of these questions. And I’m not even going to consider it possible to answer anything else other than a definite 'yes' to these questions. Only the word ‘yes’ injects strength into everything. So, I’ve passed already!

So I keep myself balanced, grounded and centred. Is this a selfish act? Am I then self-centred? Not at all! On the contrary; it’s selfless act… Without centring myself, I can’t give what I’ve got… So, for the sake of giving to others, I have to consciously be giving enough to myself—on every level. Only then I’m in-tune and won’t ever lose sight of myself, won’t ever forget the intention that lies behind this journey and won’t ever shower myself with pressure, stress or feelings of doubt and fear. I’ve no space or time for such ‘showers’! Life is too precious, the doors are too open and opportunities are too welcome.