A late update, from the 01st of September
Leaving Beijing without any sleep… AGAIN! I was way too excited to sleep on Wednesday night. So I was literally awake from 1am. Got up at 3am, headed to the airport at around 4.30 am… and flew from Beijing to Shanghai. In Shanghai airport though, sleep was starting to call. But the tricky thing was: I had to wait from around 11am until 10pm for the connecting flight to Mumbai. This was the longest day of my life. I think. I’d planned to get lots of writing done and usually I’d have happily kept myself busy. But my mind wasn’t incapable of writing anything… I was in a daze and getting more exhausted as the day dragged on. So I was trying to get comfortable in the waiting areas to just rest my eyes (that were slowly sinking into my sockets)… or just sat on my trolley, trying to curl-up… But these attempts proved impossible. Especially as I had 3 bags to guard. So I couldn’t do ANYTHING… I couldn’t read, because I’d fall asleep. I couldn’t write, because nothing made sense. I couldn’t even have a cup of tea… The only coffee shop served only coffees and juices… and there’s only so many hours I can sit in one café, stocking up and caffeine and frothed milk…
Anyhow, enough of the complaining… Because, as soon as it was time to check-in at 7pm (it really wasn’t a moment too soon either)… things started to happen. Everything changed from that moment onwards.
Standing in line, as I was waiting to drop my bags… I was looking at the sign above the desk: AIR INDIA. Yes! And what passengers would be accompanying me to Mumbai… INDIANS of course! Yes yes yes… This is the part of travelling I love the most: you stand at the check-in desk and the majority of passengers who board the flight are (obviously) from the country to which you’re flying. When I was flying to China, it was the same; I flew from London to Beijing and I could see the western people vanishing and the Chinese appearing. The ratio of western people to Chinese people was changing. And now, I was at that point again. I could see the Chinese people vanishing and the Indians appearing. And there was me, the only western girl alone, in China, amongst the chaos of the Indians, loving that I could see the transition. Amazing…
Such simple little things can sometimes be so cool….
Anyhow, I’ll continue to share just how these tiny little details brought me to feel so calm, excited and welcome, on the plane. A handful of Chinese, 2 or 3 westerners and hundreds of Indians. And it felt so warming. I felt at home on that flight and so… happy. It was amazing. I couldn’t get over just how bubbly the atmosphere was. Everyone was so jolly – they weren’t in hysterics of laughter or anything. They weren’t even smiling continuously, but… there was something I could sense… an openness and instant friendliness. Maybe I felt it so strongly, because it was something I’ve not really been exposed to for ‘so long’. Of course the Indians can, and will, stare. But already I’ve noticed that it’s warming and it’s with a smile. It’s NOT a stare that resembles a glare. It’s NOT for them to strongly believe I’m an alien who’s just landed from outer-space and has been misplaced in the world. But it’s real recognition…
An unforgettable plane journey; the amount of people I spoke to, the communication I was already experiencing… … I made friends even. People were helping me, giving me advice on my train journey and on what to see and where to go. I even got somebody’s number… In that sweet Indian accent he said: “Call me if you ever need any help… my family and friends are there”. Wouw… I was shocked at the ease. Before leaving China, of course, I’d remembered how much English is spoken by the majority of Indians but it properly came through on that plane journey.
Talking, speaking and being seen as somebody real. This was special. Taking in the atmosphere, I felt the colourful lives these people live. I felt their hospitality and appreciation for things that truly matter… I could feel life around me and I was so ready to embrace India more so than before. I knew that I wouldn’t feel any element of fear (which I had done, when I first arrived, in February of last year). I knew there was NO barrier I needed to work past, when dealing with the chaos this Indian life can present outsiders with. Nope. I’d already done that… This meant, and still means, that I’ll have so much more energy to pour into truly savouring their lifestyle… Suddenly I was coming to life again, as I flew from Shanghai to Mumbai… wouw… What an Air Line can do to a person… haha… My fascination for their reality continued when I hit ground in Mumbai…
Showing posts with label flight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label flight. Show all posts
Friday, September 9, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Visa response and flying time
My 6 month visa to India came through! Yes yes yes… My passport arrived in the mail on Sunday, signed, sealed and delivered, with my visa attached… There’s no turning back now…
The relief I felt when I saw my ‘ticket to freedom’ was unreal. Once I’d taken a moment by myself to open up the envelope and see if it was actually approved, I couldn’t contain my excitement. I ran into the office, on overdrive. All the teachers were just sitting around, waiting for class to start. Suddenly I started jumping around like a mad woman, holding my passport and shouting that I’ll soon be out of here and that I’m on my way…!!! Oops… it probably wasn’t the thing I should’ve done in that moment, but I just had to let my excitement out… The response I got… hummm… there were a few colleagues who were happy for me and then a few who cursed the fact that I was leaving. The rain COULD’VE started to fall on my parade, but I refused to let it. It was my moment and nobody’s cursing was going to steal it! So I childishly cursed them back, and said that nobody was going to bring me down. I wasn't going to hide my happiness for the fact that I’m leaving…
At the moment, I’ve still got to teach until Sunday. 5 days left. I’m not too sure when exactly I’ll leave Jinzhou, either the 29th or the 30th. Counting down the days may seem as though I’m wishing my time here away. But I realized I’m not wishing it away, I’m just seeing how long I’ve still got left to tie up loose ends. I actually wouldn’t want it to be happening right now. Because I’m not ready! Haha… However, when Monday comes, I know I’ll be ready and then it’ll be time. For now, I know exactly what I still need to do, who I need to meet up with and what other small details I have to sort out – such a transferring funds, getting train and bus connections, packing things up, passing things on and sending things home. And this week of teaching, I have to approach with the mindset of: my job is already done, the pressure is off and there’s nothing more or less I can do now… Except enjoy my classes with the kids and perhaps be obliged to explain my unexpected leave to the parents. This is the most important thing at work, this week.
It’s strange, but the closer the move comes, the calmer I’m feeling. To others around me, this has proven to be something they can’t comprehend. “Niamh, EVERYTHING in your life is about to change… your home, your contacts, your job, your environment, your diet, your finances… EVERYTHING is going to change so quickly! How can you be so calm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????? When will you have time to process, when you’re moving and being distracted by the chaos in the world…”
These aren’t questions I’ve asked myself, but they’ve come from people around me… And my answer is simple: This is something I’ve done before, and I feel so strongly that it’s the right thing, so there’s no need to be nervous or stressed. It’s going to work. I NEED to change EVERYTHING, so the places I go to and the people I meet are in accordance with the visions my mind has been holding onto for months. It’s so simple.
In regards to ‘processing the process of change’, this is something I do as I literally travel. I consciously make the actual journey into a longer one by choosing flight connections that are drawn-out or train journeys that last for days… I don’t care if I’ve to wait for 12 hours at the airport… or sleep 2 nights on the train. It always gives me the chance to find a place and write about where I’ve just come from and where I’m heading. It means I’m totally experiencing the journey. And I actually love the waiting. Some of best moments of writing have been done in between flights, or on planes. On stop-overs, time flies. After one flight has physically landed and before the next one takes-off, time is nowhere, time zones are irrelevant and I loose myself so happily. When making a ‘drastic’ change, I make each journey into a memorable one, because of the writing I do, whilst being in transition. And that’s the ‘processing of the process of change’. It’s releasing the experiences, step by step and so, when the time comes to step-off the plane and into the new part of the world that will be my place for as long as it feels comfortable… then I’m totally recharged, fresh and ready for the experience.
This actually makes me feel totally fine to know that I’ll have 12 hours in Shanghai airport next Thursday, and 40 hours on a train, once I land in Mumbai next Friday morning while making my way down south to Kerala. Happy days await
The relief I felt when I saw my ‘ticket to freedom’ was unreal. Once I’d taken a moment by myself to open up the envelope and see if it was actually approved, I couldn’t contain my excitement. I ran into the office, on overdrive. All the teachers were just sitting around, waiting for class to start. Suddenly I started jumping around like a mad woman, holding my passport and shouting that I’ll soon be out of here and that I’m on my way…!!! Oops… it probably wasn’t the thing I should’ve done in that moment, but I just had to let my excitement out… The response I got… hummm… there were a few colleagues who were happy for me and then a few who cursed the fact that I was leaving. The rain COULD’VE started to fall on my parade, but I refused to let it. It was my moment and nobody’s cursing was going to steal it! So I childishly cursed them back, and said that nobody was going to bring me down. I wasn't going to hide my happiness for the fact that I’m leaving…
At the moment, I’ve still got to teach until Sunday. 5 days left. I’m not too sure when exactly I’ll leave Jinzhou, either the 29th or the 30th. Counting down the days may seem as though I’m wishing my time here away. But I realized I’m not wishing it away, I’m just seeing how long I’ve still got left to tie up loose ends. I actually wouldn’t want it to be happening right now. Because I’m not ready! Haha… However, when Monday comes, I know I’ll be ready and then it’ll be time. For now, I know exactly what I still need to do, who I need to meet up with and what other small details I have to sort out – such a transferring funds, getting train and bus connections, packing things up, passing things on and sending things home. And this week of teaching, I have to approach with the mindset of: my job is already done, the pressure is off and there’s nothing more or less I can do now… Except enjoy my classes with the kids and perhaps be obliged to explain my unexpected leave to the parents. This is the most important thing at work, this week.
It’s strange, but the closer the move comes, the calmer I’m feeling. To others around me, this has proven to be something they can’t comprehend. “Niamh, EVERYTHING in your life is about to change… your home, your contacts, your job, your environment, your diet, your finances… EVERYTHING is going to change so quickly! How can you be so calm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????? When will you have time to process, when you’re moving and being distracted by the chaos in the world…”
These aren’t questions I’ve asked myself, but they’ve come from people around me… And my answer is simple: This is something I’ve done before, and I feel so strongly that it’s the right thing, so there’s no need to be nervous or stressed. It’s going to work. I NEED to change EVERYTHING, so the places I go to and the people I meet are in accordance with the visions my mind has been holding onto for months. It’s so simple.
In regards to ‘processing the process of change’, this is something I do as I literally travel. I consciously make the actual journey into a longer one by choosing flight connections that are drawn-out or train journeys that last for days… I don’t care if I’ve to wait for 12 hours at the airport… or sleep 2 nights on the train. It always gives me the chance to find a place and write about where I’ve just come from and where I’m heading. It means I’m totally experiencing the journey. And I actually love the waiting. Some of best moments of writing have been done in between flights, or on planes. On stop-overs, time flies. After one flight has physically landed and before the next one takes-off, time is nowhere, time zones are irrelevant and I loose myself so happily. When making a ‘drastic’ change, I make each journey into a memorable one, because of the writing I do, whilst being in transition. And that’s the ‘processing of the process of change’. It’s releasing the experiences, step by step and so, when the time comes to step-off the plane and into the new part of the world that will be my place for as long as it feels comfortable… then I’m totally recharged, fresh and ready for the experience.
This actually makes me feel totally fine to know that I’ll have 12 hours in Shanghai airport next Thursday, and 40 hours on a train, once I land in Mumbai next Friday morning while making my way down south to Kerala. Happy days await
Friday, February 25, 2011
Feb 21st - The Flight
The lights are dimming and the people are settling into their seats, reclining their chairs and letting the not-so-good-plane-food relax them into sleep-mode; this airbus 737 is bringing us through different timezones and it's letting this particular night be shorter than what our bodyclocks are accustomed to (as we're flying towards the sun, instead of away). I'm in the air, in full flight and I feel amazing – and quite warm too (usually night-flights can be pretty cold, but this particular one is actually urging me to take off some layers... hahah... how cosy it is!)
Saying goodbye to the family this morning, was so different. I actually felt more luck than sadness... Why? Because not everyone has a family who totally understands just how important it can be, to do certain things in life; even if they themselves feel some degree of loss, throughout the process of expressing understanding and offering support. It's amazing really.
As well, every other time I've had to say goodbye, I've not been able to be so... what's the word... so CERTAIN and so CAPABLE of speaking from the heart. Usually I'd be fighting back the tears and unable to speak, for fear of showing too much weakness. But now, there were no tears.. I'd already shed them on Saturday! Wouw.. how cool is that!
This meant the last 'coffee-stop' I had with Mam, Eileen and Sean, just before checking-in and going through the departure gates, was one I'll never forget. I didn't feel there was a massive big 'thing' that needed to be done. Even though it's indefinite when we'll be seeing each other again, it was all SOOO fine! I said what I wanted to say, I did all I wanted to do and I didn't feel bad either for NOT crying... Yes!!!! This was the best 'goodbye' I've ever experienced in my whole life!
Having said that, it doesn't mean I won't miss them. It just means that I know my place within the family so much more than ever before and I know that our connection is strong, and always will be. It's like missing those I love, is a special kind of 'missing'' it's one I feel lucky to experience. Because the fact that I have such people to miss, means I'm blessed. No matter what happens.
Fantastic. I was ready for take-off. A bmi flight from Dublin to London and still savouring the Irish accents around me as much as poss. Once I landed in Heathrow and made my way through to terminal 3 – the Irish people were vanishing and the mingling started. Every nation suddenly has at least a 50 people to represent their country. Heathrow, everytime, seems to blow my mind. It's like this village, with different roads, alleyways, estates, communities, activities, methods of transport (to, from and THROUGH the 'village). There's a constant stream of people and commerce. Millions of people passing through each day and the list of flights departing is ENDLESS... Man it's crazy... I could sit here and analyze it, forever. But I won't. I'll keep moving this piece of writing forward, up until now: 9pm GMT or 5am GMT +8 (which is the timezone we're flying towards).
So, after a long walk from one end of “Heathrow-village” to the other, I finally found my gate. And that's when it started happening: the majority of people around me were Chinese, I was in the minority with just a handful of Brits around me. I'd alreayd left Europe and landed myself in Asia – and I hadn't even boarded the plane yet. I was buzzing with excitement and already smelling the food, tasting the tea, hearing the language and adoring the chinese children.
I can't wait to get there now, even though I'm loving this flight. 10 hours in total. O yeah, I must have sounded like a right wolly, when I first sat down in seat 39D. I turned to the guy behind me and asked how long the flight is...! and shocked when I heard it was so long...haha... How prepared am !!!
Okay. This is it for now. Trying to get some sleep on planes has never been without struggle. But maybe this night will be different. See you when I'm on the ground... on Asian soil! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saying goodbye to the family this morning, was so different. I actually felt more luck than sadness... Why? Because not everyone has a family who totally understands just how important it can be, to do certain things in life; even if they themselves feel some degree of loss, throughout the process of expressing understanding and offering support. It's amazing really.
As well, every other time I've had to say goodbye, I've not been able to be so... what's the word... so CERTAIN and so CAPABLE of speaking from the heart. Usually I'd be fighting back the tears and unable to speak, for fear of showing too much weakness. But now, there were no tears.. I'd already shed them on Saturday! Wouw.. how cool is that!
This meant the last 'coffee-stop' I had with Mam, Eileen and Sean, just before checking-in and going through the departure gates, was one I'll never forget. I didn't feel there was a massive big 'thing' that needed to be done. Even though it's indefinite when we'll be seeing each other again, it was all SOOO fine! I said what I wanted to say, I did all I wanted to do and I didn't feel bad either for NOT crying... Yes!!!! This was the best 'goodbye' I've ever experienced in my whole life!
Having said that, it doesn't mean I won't miss them. It just means that I know my place within the family so much more than ever before and I know that our connection is strong, and always will be. It's like missing those I love, is a special kind of 'missing'' it's one I feel lucky to experience. Because the fact that I have such people to miss, means I'm blessed. No matter what happens.
Fantastic. I was ready for take-off. A bmi flight from Dublin to London and still savouring the Irish accents around me as much as poss. Once I landed in Heathrow and made my way through to terminal 3 – the Irish people were vanishing and the mingling started. Every nation suddenly has at least a 50 people to represent their country. Heathrow, everytime, seems to blow my mind. It's like this village, with different roads, alleyways, estates, communities, activities, methods of transport (to, from and THROUGH the 'village). There's a constant stream of people and commerce. Millions of people passing through each day and the list of flights departing is ENDLESS... Man it's crazy... I could sit here and analyze it, forever. But I won't. I'll keep moving this piece of writing forward, up until now: 9pm GMT or 5am GMT +8 (which is the timezone we're flying towards).
So, after a long walk from one end of “Heathrow-village” to the other, I finally found my gate. And that's when it started happening: the majority of people around me were Chinese, I was in the minority with just a handful of Brits around me. I'd alreayd left Europe and landed myself in Asia – and I hadn't even boarded the plane yet. I was buzzing with excitement and already smelling the food, tasting the tea, hearing the language and adoring the chinese children.
I can't wait to get there now, even though I'm loving this flight. 10 hours in total. O yeah, I must have sounded like a right wolly, when I first sat down in seat 39D. I turned to the guy behind me and asked how long the flight is...! and shocked when I heard it was so long...haha... How prepared am !!!
Okay. This is it for now. Trying to get some sleep on planes has never been without struggle. But maybe this night will be different. See you when I'm on the ground... on Asian soil! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Feb 21st - Last days Ireland
After my last post – Saturday afternoon (the 19th) – I moved myself through the motions and, emotionally, I was leaving Ireland. I was finished writing and for the first time in my whole life, I cried tears for leaving this place. I couldn't believe it... I felt a sudden panic and still wanted to do so much! I had this massive weight in my chest and it was only lightened when I shed so many tears. Tears representing alot, but most of all representing GOODNESS. So, I didn't care and I let them fall.
My mam saved the day. We went for coffee and I unloaded my 'stuff' by putting into perspective what I had to do and why I was doing all of 'this'. One cup of Irish milky tea and a pair of understanding ears were enough to make me feel totally ready for the world. And it happened in the perfect place; O Briens coffeeshop. This is a place where I've sat for many hours, writing my heart out. Every minute I spent there, with a cappucino for company, by the writing I was doing, I'd transport myself to another place where I'd experience boundless magic and dreams, just by using my imagination. It was always amazing. Such fun I can have...all by myself!
Anyhow. Saturday night we had a 'get together' with the family. Nibbles, drinks, cards and some good oul' craic. That night I dreamt I was having interviews for teaching jobs in Belgium. But none of the schools would take me on. Eventually the recruitment agency told me to go to China. She said I'd be sure to get a job there... I asked will it give me opportunities. She said there are never any guarantees, but I'll never know unless I give it a try. I woke and knew for sure it was all systems go! Yes, yes yes!
Sunday. I thought the alcohol would've frazzled my brain. But it didn't and I got myself moving. The emotions had gone, there were no nerves and I was so calm yet excited, all at once. At times I'd wonder though, why this step would feel to be bigger than the step I made from Australia to India (a year ago). Surely that one was more challenging and daunting that this step I'm taking from Ireland to China? Hummm... I've done all this before, haven't I?! I've been teaching, I've been to Asia, I've left my home country. None of the steps are bigger than any of my previous steps!!!! So I don't know why I've been questioning it all so much. Force of habit I guess...
Or... maybe it's because now, I've stepped AWAY from travels for a while and so, stepping back INTO travelling, is new again. Moving from Ozzie-land to India, was done when I was in travelmode and surrounded by travellers. Then it's a normal step to make. That's why this move differs. Most of the people in my surroundings, they hear of what I'm doing and are 'in awe'. They find it hard to comprehend HOW and WHY I'd put myself through this, alone. So, of course, by only being surrounded by people who seem to think China is way-off the 'league of normalcy', I'll constantly be putting this whole step into prepective, for myself. Hence the reason for my reflections to be somewhat deeper, more full of wonder and fuelled with motivation. It's all in aid of keeping myself 'flowing' and stopping myself from being influenced by the doubts others may have or the apprehension they themselves would experience, if they were to make a similar move.
And... it's paid-off! Haha... I'm sitting on the plane right now. I'm off to Beijing. 2 hours ago, we left Heathrow. I was just diving into a book I got from my auntie Bridgy. That's when I started to feel this bubble inside; it was getting bigger and bigger and I needed to vent.. So the laptop appeared and I started to tap.
My mam saved the day. We went for coffee and I unloaded my 'stuff' by putting into perspective what I had to do and why I was doing all of 'this'. One cup of Irish milky tea and a pair of understanding ears were enough to make me feel totally ready for the world. And it happened in the perfect place; O Briens coffeeshop. This is a place where I've sat for many hours, writing my heart out. Every minute I spent there, with a cappucino for company, by the writing I was doing, I'd transport myself to another place where I'd experience boundless magic and dreams, just by using my imagination. It was always amazing. Such fun I can have...all by myself!
Anyhow. Saturday night we had a 'get together' with the family. Nibbles, drinks, cards and some good oul' craic. That night I dreamt I was having interviews for teaching jobs in Belgium. But none of the schools would take me on. Eventually the recruitment agency told me to go to China. She said I'd be sure to get a job there... I asked will it give me opportunities. She said there are never any guarantees, but I'll never know unless I give it a try. I woke and knew for sure it was all systems go! Yes, yes yes!
Sunday. I thought the alcohol would've frazzled my brain. But it didn't and I got myself moving. The emotions had gone, there were no nerves and I was so calm yet excited, all at once. At times I'd wonder though, why this step would feel to be bigger than the step I made from Australia to India (a year ago). Surely that one was more challenging and daunting that this step I'm taking from Ireland to China? Hummm... I've done all this before, haven't I?! I've been teaching, I've been to Asia, I've left my home country. None of the steps are bigger than any of my previous steps!!!! So I don't know why I've been questioning it all so much. Force of habit I guess...
Or... maybe it's because now, I've stepped AWAY from travels for a while and so, stepping back INTO travelling, is new again. Moving from Ozzie-land to India, was done when I was in travelmode and surrounded by travellers. Then it's a normal step to make. That's why this move differs. Most of the people in my surroundings, they hear of what I'm doing and are 'in awe'. They find it hard to comprehend HOW and WHY I'd put myself through this, alone. So, of course, by only being surrounded by people who seem to think China is way-off the 'league of normalcy', I'll constantly be putting this whole step into prepective, for myself. Hence the reason for my reflections to be somewhat deeper, more full of wonder and fuelled with motivation. It's all in aid of keeping myself 'flowing' and stopping myself from being influenced by the doubts others may have or the apprehension they themselves would experience, if they were to make a similar move.
And... it's paid-off! Haha... I'm sitting on the plane right now. I'm off to Beijing. 2 hours ago, we left Heathrow. I was just diving into a book I got from my auntie Bridgy. That's when I started to feel this bubble inside; it was getting bigger and bigger and I needed to vent.. So the laptop appeared and I started to tap.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Just say "goodaye"
I’m sitting on the balcony right now of a hostel near the Gold Coast Airport. It’s Friday night. Tomorrow morning, I fly and leave this beautiful country. Who is to say when, why and how I might or might not set foot on Australian red soil again. Nobody can know.. But for now there are many I DO know and I’m more than happy to share what it is I’ve become aware of.
It’s dark, it’s humid, it’s nice. I went for a walk just to check out the place, and all I found were drunken kids and surf-shops. Australia. I thought: My last impressions? Drunken kids and surf-shops? This location is near a place called Surfers Paradise (those who have travelled in Oz, have definitely heard of it, as it’s a tourist “hotspot“). It’s somewhere I’ve never been before but I’ve heard stories about how amazing it’s supposed to be - in the daytime that is. I’m sure the sea is a clear bright blue colour. I’m sure it’s as pretty as a picture and I‘m sure the surfers dudes are hunks and the girls are all models with blond hair and amazing tans. But, from what I can see, I’m not too impressed. I strolled around in search for something, but didn’t know what. And so, I found nothing. Nothing that would be of any interest to me. It felt so strange: this amazing place, my last night, and not an ounce of anything.
So, as I sit here on the balcony with loud music blaring in the background, coming from the pub downstairs, and from the one next door and from the nightclub across the road, I’m feeling as if I’ve already said goodbye. I realized this as I was strolling along and a dude walked by and simply said: Goodaye”. I smiled and that word echoed in my mind: “Goodaye.” A word I’m not likely to hear anytime in the foreseeable future. He said “goodaye” to me, and I was saying goodbye to his country. What a contrast. It made me suddenly see myself from the place I set out, 9 months ago, which was Ireland. I could feel the distance I had travelled, in both space and time. And now, this was still me, having done all I had to do in Oz. I set out in April, without any expectations as to what I was going to do or how long I was going to stay. It was an open door that would reveal so much and the only “plan” I had planned was to go with whatever came my way. And today, I found myself suddenly at the end of this chapter, rich with so many new experiences through which I’ve grown in many different ways.
More to come..
It’s dark, it’s humid, it’s nice. I went for a walk just to check out the place, and all I found were drunken kids and surf-shops. Australia. I thought: My last impressions? Drunken kids and surf-shops? This location is near a place called Surfers Paradise (those who have travelled in Oz, have definitely heard of it, as it’s a tourist “hotspot“). It’s somewhere I’ve never been before but I’ve heard stories about how amazing it’s supposed to be - in the daytime that is. I’m sure the sea is a clear bright blue colour. I’m sure it’s as pretty as a picture and I‘m sure the surfers dudes are hunks and the girls are all models with blond hair and amazing tans. But, from what I can see, I’m not too impressed. I strolled around in search for something, but didn’t know what. And so, I found nothing. Nothing that would be of any interest to me. It felt so strange: this amazing place, my last night, and not an ounce of anything.
So, as I sit here on the balcony with loud music blaring in the background, coming from the pub downstairs, and from the one next door and from the nightclub across the road, I’m feeling as if I’ve already said goodbye. I realized this as I was strolling along and a dude walked by and simply said: Goodaye”. I smiled and that word echoed in my mind: “Goodaye.” A word I’m not likely to hear anytime in the foreseeable future. He said “goodaye” to me, and I was saying goodbye to his country. What a contrast. It made me suddenly see myself from the place I set out, 9 months ago, which was Ireland. I could feel the distance I had travelled, in both space and time. And now, this was still me, having done all I had to do in Oz. I set out in April, without any expectations as to what I was going to do or how long I was going to stay. It was an open door that would reveal so much and the only “plan” I had planned was to go with whatever came my way. And today, I found myself suddenly at the end of this chapter, rich with so many new experiences through which I’ve grown in many different ways.
More to come..
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Getting it sorted! Part III
Getting it sorted! Part III
Too much was going through my head over the course of the past week and it reached it’s peak, Tuesday afternoon. Why? Well, I was running out of time. The courses I was choosing between, were all starting on the same date, they were all putting pressure on me, through their emails, that I needed to make up my mind as they only had 1 spot left and they were holding it for me! I got the point of nearly being in tears, because I was so torn between these 2 courses. I wanted both so badly. Then I had panic attacks, I was feeling sick, my bowls were reacting too (sorry for the details). At that point I really needed someone to come along and say: “Niamh..just go for this one or that one!.” But there was no one. So I had to do it by myself. And it was almost like I was incapable of making a choice. I nearly wanted to do absolutely nothing, just for fear of choosing the wrong one. But I suddenly thought: if both are wrong, then both can’t both also be right? If I want them both, then what does it matter? Both are amazing experiences, if that’s the approach I have and if that’s what I make them out to be.
So, I had to stop thinking, book the course I first planned on doing. I paid everything in full so there was no going back. I then had a minor breakdown. I closed the door and was feeling so sick with fear, doubt, regret, loneliness. Every emotion, not of the good nature, was rushing through me and I was going into overdrive almost. But I calmed myself down and then I felt strong and contained enough to book the flights. I was on a role, so I had to keep the momentum going. Again, another minor panic attack struck me followed by a sickly feeling once again which was accompanied by some fear, doubt, regret, loneliness - what a familiar pattern this was turning out to be! - I got over it just as quick as the first attack and everything became clear. The fear had been replaced with relief, the doubt had been replaced with certainty, the regret had been replaced with gratitude and the loneliness had been replaced with strength. And the sum of all of these emotions: Excitement!! Everything felt amazing. This was what I needed. This was really going to happen!
The beauty of this whole process, I discovered only this morning, was that I did it all on my own! Nobody has influenced me - even though yesterday I wanted to ring somebody, anybody, for their influence or input, as I wasn’t able to think or see clearly anymore - nobody has coaxed me, or persuaded me. I wasn’t told what would work out better for me in the long run or what would suit the person I am. I did it all myself! And since then I haven’t shared my enthusiasm or plans with hardly anybody. Those I have shared it with, their reaction didn’t meet the enthusiasm I felt on the inside (except for one or two people). Even this fact hasn’t effected me. It didn’t make me doubt that I was making a mistake. Nor did it make me want to convince them that what I’m doing is amazing - because I know myself what’s real and true. I know all I need to know so I don‘t have to convince others. This was such a reassuring feeling revealing that what I’m doing is for all the right reasons; which I feel that are right ones for me. This feels so natural and normal for me (apart from the 2 minor panic attacks). It’s just another step that I’m taking.
What exactly is this step? Well, I’m going to be leaving Oz and I’m heading to a place I’ve wanted to go to for quite some years now. My next stop is India!! A place that really is calling me. I’ve known for months it was going to be the place I simply had to go to. Since I was in Cairns, in July, it’s what I’ve been aiming for and working towards. The hours on the farm, were all in aid of this adventure. And when I got to Thailand in December, I knew that India wouldn’t be too far off. And it’s not. I’m going sooner than I expected. At the same time, it’s what I had hoped would happen. And another reason for me hoping it would all happen soon was that “long term planning” is something I don’t really do. And therefore this step simply had to be fast. In July I had January or February in my head but thought in reality it would take a lot longer to sort everything out. But 2 weeks is all it took and I’m leaving on Saturday morning! That’s it!
The 30th of January I’m flying to Kuala Lumpur. I spend the night in the city and on Sunday the 31st I fly to Cochin, in the state of Kerala (south east coast), where I’ll be picked-up from the airport, brought to my accommodation and Monday morning I start the course! The course is to be an English teacher in foreign countries. It’s provided through Tesol, which is an American language institute, giving English teaching courses and job placements in just about any country in the world! I’ve wanted to try this for years, and I’m finally doing it. I could have chosen from so many other countries, but with me only being able to think and dream of India, there was no question as to where I should do it. The course lasts for 3 weeks. Afterwards there’s a few weeks off and then we should get offered a job placement of a certain amount of months, depending on personal preferences. I can’t believe sometimes how it’s worked out. Really I can’t.
In some ways it’s a lot to be dealing with: leaving Oz for good, going to a place so overwhelming and diving into the world of teaching straight away.. All within the space of 3 days. I can’t believe it. But I’m not scared or anxious. I feel pretty stress-free and am still chilling out here in Brisbane, as my last day in Oz will soon be starting. I’m just taking each experience as it comes. I’ll deal with each one, as it comes along, and everything will follow the path it’s meant to follow and I’ll happily go along that path, being grateful and feeling blessed for all that comes my way!
You can sure I’ll be keeping you posted on how the next few days go!!
Too much was going through my head over the course of the past week and it reached it’s peak, Tuesday afternoon. Why? Well, I was running out of time. The courses I was choosing between, were all starting on the same date, they were all putting pressure on me, through their emails, that I needed to make up my mind as they only had 1 spot left and they were holding it for me! I got the point of nearly being in tears, because I was so torn between these 2 courses. I wanted both so badly. Then I had panic attacks, I was feeling sick, my bowls were reacting too (sorry for the details). At that point I really needed someone to come along and say: “Niamh..just go for this one or that one!.” But there was no one. So I had to do it by myself. And it was almost like I was incapable of making a choice. I nearly wanted to do absolutely nothing, just for fear of choosing the wrong one. But I suddenly thought: if both are wrong, then both can’t both also be right? If I want them both, then what does it matter? Both are amazing experiences, if that’s the approach I have and if that’s what I make them out to be.
So, I had to stop thinking, book the course I first planned on doing. I paid everything in full so there was no going back. I then had a minor breakdown. I closed the door and was feeling so sick with fear, doubt, regret, loneliness. Every emotion, not of the good nature, was rushing through me and I was going into overdrive almost. But I calmed myself down and then I felt strong and contained enough to book the flights. I was on a role, so I had to keep the momentum going. Again, another minor panic attack struck me followed by a sickly feeling once again which was accompanied by some fear, doubt, regret, loneliness - what a familiar pattern this was turning out to be! - I got over it just as quick as the first attack and everything became clear. The fear had been replaced with relief, the doubt had been replaced with certainty, the regret had been replaced with gratitude and the loneliness had been replaced with strength. And the sum of all of these emotions: Excitement!! Everything felt amazing. This was what I needed. This was really going to happen!
The beauty of this whole process, I discovered only this morning, was that I did it all on my own! Nobody has influenced me - even though yesterday I wanted to ring somebody, anybody, for their influence or input, as I wasn’t able to think or see clearly anymore - nobody has coaxed me, or persuaded me. I wasn’t told what would work out better for me in the long run or what would suit the person I am. I did it all myself! And since then I haven’t shared my enthusiasm or plans with hardly anybody. Those I have shared it with, their reaction didn’t meet the enthusiasm I felt on the inside (except for one or two people). Even this fact hasn’t effected me. It didn’t make me doubt that I was making a mistake. Nor did it make me want to convince them that what I’m doing is amazing - because I know myself what’s real and true. I know all I need to know so I don‘t have to convince others. This was such a reassuring feeling revealing that what I’m doing is for all the right reasons; which I feel that are right ones for me. This feels so natural and normal for me (apart from the 2 minor panic attacks). It’s just another step that I’m taking.
What exactly is this step? Well, I’m going to be leaving Oz and I’m heading to a place I’ve wanted to go to for quite some years now. My next stop is India!! A place that really is calling me. I’ve known for months it was going to be the place I simply had to go to. Since I was in Cairns, in July, it’s what I’ve been aiming for and working towards. The hours on the farm, were all in aid of this adventure. And when I got to Thailand in December, I knew that India wouldn’t be too far off. And it’s not. I’m going sooner than I expected. At the same time, it’s what I had hoped would happen. And another reason for me hoping it would all happen soon was that “long term planning” is something I don’t really do. And therefore this step simply had to be fast. In July I had January or February in my head but thought in reality it would take a lot longer to sort everything out. But 2 weeks is all it took and I’m leaving on Saturday morning! That’s it!
The 30th of January I’m flying to Kuala Lumpur. I spend the night in the city and on Sunday the 31st I fly to Cochin, in the state of Kerala (south east coast), where I’ll be picked-up from the airport, brought to my accommodation and Monday morning I start the course! The course is to be an English teacher in foreign countries. It’s provided through Tesol, which is an American language institute, giving English teaching courses and job placements in just about any country in the world! I’ve wanted to try this for years, and I’m finally doing it. I could have chosen from so many other countries, but with me only being able to think and dream of India, there was no question as to where I should do it. The course lasts for 3 weeks. Afterwards there’s a few weeks off and then we should get offered a job placement of a certain amount of months, depending on personal preferences. I can’t believe sometimes how it’s worked out. Really I can’t.
In some ways it’s a lot to be dealing with: leaving Oz for good, going to a place so overwhelming and diving into the world of teaching straight away.. All within the space of 3 days. I can’t believe it. But I’m not scared or anxious. I feel pretty stress-free and am still chilling out here in Brisbane, as my last day in Oz will soon be starting. I’m just taking each experience as it comes. I’ll deal with each one, as it comes along, and everything will follow the path it’s meant to follow and I’ll happily go along that path, being grateful and feeling blessed for all that comes my way!
You can sure I’ll be keeping you posted on how the next few days go!!
Getting it sorted! Part II
Getting it sorted! Part II
The next step.. How and when shall I get to that beautiful place? Do I want to get there so soon? Do I want to leave Oz already? Should I maybe look for farm work and stay in Oz for as long as possible? Do I want to leave this beautiful land, 3 months before my visa expires? Aren’t these months to be cherished? Isn’t this year in Oz a once in a life time opportunity? Couldn’t these months have given me another short and very sweet Ozzie adventure? What was the rush? Why did I feel the urge to leave, so soon, so suddenly, so strongly? Was I running? Was I convincing myself that Ozzie-land wasn’t for me and would I then come to regret never giving it a proper chance when it comes to settling here, getting a sponsorship of 2 years and becoming a resident? Was I fooling myself?
(Oh my god, as I sit here, reminiscing over my Australian times, the radio has just started playing my all time favourite Ozzie pub song.. by Jimmy Barns! That’s freaky. This song was also the last song I heard when I was leaving Oz the last time, back in September 2007.. This was when I was in Darwin, I left the pub, while they were playing this song and 2 hours later I was at the airport making my way to Singapore. And now it’s being played at this very moment too. That’s freaky..)
Sorry. Just got a little sidetracked there. What a beautiful coincidence that was!!
So, the questions as to why now leave Oz? Too soon? Too rash? Too precious? Too misunderstood? Too sure? Yes, I was too sure. I was too sure that this was my time. I only became too sure, once I had I considered every option: I considered staying for 1 more month, I considered working for 3 more months, I considered going for 1 month and coming back for 2, I considered staying for as long as possible. Everything. I very quickly came to the conclusion that my heart was no longer wanting to do farm work. Also I knew that getting residency here in Oz, wasn’t what I wanted. Australia is so beautiful but there are other places that have different things on offer and I want to experience them. I need inspiration, I need to go and feel the challenge other countries can give me, by just being there. Australia doesn’t give me that. By coming to Brisbane, I somehow seemed to have landed myself in this perfect spot, to wind down and thus going further a field felt like the only thing I COULD do. It felt like the most natural and normal thing to do. It was the only way. Do you know the feeling: Whenever you get something into your head, and it’s so stuck, that you can’t possibly see what else you would do with your life other than follow that thing that has gotten into your mind, that had its source within your heart? This is really what it was like. This idea, it had to happen. And it was.
I knew that never would I be ecstatic to leave Oz, a beautiful place like this that has given me the world, literally. Never. So if I leave now or in 3 months time, I’ll still not board a plane as if being delighted to get away from this place, nor will I not have to be dragged onto the plane by the air hostesses, kicking and screaming - I actually don’t even think they do this..;) This was the realization that pushed me along.
2 weeks ago, I had already started to set my plans in motion, even before I had made any kind of definite decision. I figured: Just in case! So I applied for the visa and got vaccinated. I made enquiries, I checked-out flights, I contacted certain people. I thought it best to be prepared and if I wasn’t going to go through with it, then no harm done, but if I did decide to go for it, then I’d be in the position to act fast.
2 days ago, Monday afternoon. I got the visa!!! Wooohoooo!! I was delighted! I couldn’t believe it! I could actually make this happen. The next step followed: What to go for? This country that’s calling me, has different opportunities. And I wanted to have options, but gave myself maybe a little bit too many, which swamped me and made the decision as to what to do once I get there, all the more difficult.
2 full days of sitting behind the computer.. Monday and Tuesday.. Weighing up the pros and cons.. I was choosing between a few different courses that would possibly give me the prospect of a job, after completion. So questions such as: What does each offer me? What would I prefer to do as a job? What do I want and need most, at this moment in time? The answer to this last question was simple: At this moment in time, I need to be sure that I have a chance to keep on travelling, if that’s what I feel I have to do. I also need to be able to look forward and see the world as an open door through which I can walk and I have to see that whatever is on the other side of that door, it will always give me the experiences, the unknown, the travel and most importantly the inspiration. These things I wanted so badly to make my own. That open door. I had to make it a priority. And I figured once I have my priorities in order, the rest will fall into place.
Just one more to come, to conclude the story..
The next step.. How and when shall I get to that beautiful place? Do I want to get there so soon? Do I want to leave Oz already? Should I maybe look for farm work and stay in Oz for as long as possible? Do I want to leave this beautiful land, 3 months before my visa expires? Aren’t these months to be cherished? Isn’t this year in Oz a once in a life time opportunity? Couldn’t these months have given me another short and very sweet Ozzie adventure? What was the rush? Why did I feel the urge to leave, so soon, so suddenly, so strongly? Was I running? Was I convincing myself that Ozzie-land wasn’t for me and would I then come to regret never giving it a proper chance when it comes to settling here, getting a sponsorship of 2 years and becoming a resident? Was I fooling myself?
(Oh my god, as I sit here, reminiscing over my Australian times, the radio has just started playing my all time favourite Ozzie pub song.. by Jimmy Barns! That’s freaky. This song was also the last song I heard when I was leaving Oz the last time, back in September 2007.. This was when I was in Darwin, I left the pub, while they were playing this song and 2 hours later I was at the airport making my way to Singapore. And now it’s being played at this very moment too. That’s freaky..)
Sorry. Just got a little sidetracked there. What a beautiful coincidence that was!!
So, the questions as to why now leave Oz? Too soon? Too rash? Too precious? Too misunderstood? Too sure? Yes, I was too sure. I was too sure that this was my time. I only became too sure, once I had I considered every option: I considered staying for 1 more month, I considered working for 3 more months, I considered going for 1 month and coming back for 2, I considered staying for as long as possible. Everything. I very quickly came to the conclusion that my heart was no longer wanting to do farm work. Also I knew that getting residency here in Oz, wasn’t what I wanted. Australia is so beautiful but there are other places that have different things on offer and I want to experience them. I need inspiration, I need to go and feel the challenge other countries can give me, by just being there. Australia doesn’t give me that. By coming to Brisbane, I somehow seemed to have landed myself in this perfect spot, to wind down and thus going further a field felt like the only thing I COULD do. It felt like the most natural and normal thing to do. It was the only way. Do you know the feeling: Whenever you get something into your head, and it’s so stuck, that you can’t possibly see what else you would do with your life other than follow that thing that has gotten into your mind, that had its source within your heart? This is really what it was like. This idea, it had to happen. And it was.
I knew that never would I be ecstatic to leave Oz, a beautiful place like this that has given me the world, literally. Never. So if I leave now or in 3 months time, I’ll still not board a plane as if being delighted to get away from this place, nor will I not have to be dragged onto the plane by the air hostesses, kicking and screaming - I actually don’t even think they do this..;) This was the realization that pushed me along.
2 weeks ago, I had already started to set my plans in motion, even before I had made any kind of definite decision. I figured: Just in case! So I applied for the visa and got vaccinated. I made enquiries, I checked-out flights, I contacted certain people. I thought it best to be prepared and if I wasn’t going to go through with it, then no harm done, but if I did decide to go for it, then I’d be in the position to act fast.
2 days ago, Monday afternoon. I got the visa!!! Wooohoooo!! I was delighted! I couldn’t believe it! I could actually make this happen. The next step followed: What to go for? This country that’s calling me, has different opportunities. And I wanted to have options, but gave myself maybe a little bit too many, which swamped me and made the decision as to what to do once I get there, all the more difficult.
2 full days of sitting behind the computer.. Monday and Tuesday.. Weighing up the pros and cons.. I was choosing between a few different courses that would possibly give me the prospect of a job, after completion. So questions such as: What does each offer me? What would I prefer to do as a job? What do I want and need most, at this moment in time? The answer to this last question was simple: At this moment in time, I need to be sure that I have a chance to keep on travelling, if that’s what I feel I have to do. I also need to be able to look forward and see the world as an open door through which I can walk and I have to see that whatever is on the other side of that door, it will always give me the experiences, the unknown, the travel and most importantly the inspiration. These things I wanted so badly to make my own. That open door. I had to make it a priority. And I figured once I have my priorities in order, the rest will fall into place.
Just one more to come, to conclude the story..
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
KL in 24 hour
A day later..only one day and so much has happened. Thinking back to yesterday, feels like days ago. But all is well, I arrived safe and sound and I now find myself sitting in a hostel, smack bang in the middle of Kuala Lumpur, in the area most commonly known to the westerners as tourist central. It's called Bukit Bintang, and it's also near where I stayed 2 whole years ago, when I first visited Malaysia.
Yesterday was so cool though.. Why? Because I was suddenly apart of the real traveling world again. I was meeting people from the word "go" and was, and still am, loving every minute. When we finally got flying, as the flight was delayed by an hour and it then turned-out to be an 8 hour journey..instead of the 6 hours I thought it was going to be (silly me forgot to take the 3 hour time-difference into account), I didn't want the flight to end. Yes, of course I was excited to get to Malaysia but I was so comfortable on that flight that the thoughts of having to "throw" myself out into this big city and figure out how to get to the hostel and sort out my money and arrange my mobile phone and be on-the-ball and alert at all times.. all felt like so much effort, as I sat on the plane totally chilled and relaxed and reading my book.. But then when we landed, I just went with the flow, as I didn't have much choice..haha, and soon everything started happening.
I stepped off the plane the air was so hot and sticky. It was like walking into a room where the heating had been on forever and that hadn't had the slightest breeze or chilly wind..ever. Muggy is the word, and with that muggyness, there was rain. It was beautiful! I was instantly heated and refreshed by the rain, all at the same time! Most people would probably hate that kind of muggyness, but the aircon on the plane had felt really awful and cold, and seeing as though I feel the cold so easily, this heat was so very welcome. Being at the airport, which was tiny by the way, and chaotic, turned-out to be nothing but stress-free. Even though I hadn't a clue how to get to the city centre and I didn't know where my hostel was (that was a little booboo on my part.. I thought I had the directions from the airport to the hostel, but in my haste, as I was booking the hostel online back in Adelaide, I printed the wrong ones..oops!!). It was all pretty straight forward and the Malaysians hanging around the airport, offering to sell bustickets or taxirides, made it so easy.. They were the registered taxi's and coachservices ofcourse!! I hoped on a bus and sat and waited to get going. The only westerner on the coach, but I was feeling so confident and at ease. It felt so normal being here, that I wasn't even worried about what I was going to do once I got to the Central Station in KL. It was an hour and a half on the bus and I actually slept most of the way.. That's how at ease I felt, in this crazy and insane city.
Arriving at the station, the first thing that happens when you get off the coach: you are bombarded by taxi drivers wanting to offer you a ride. But I shrugged them all off and had stubborn thoughts of trying to find this hostel all by myself. But those thoughts soon went out the window, or were washed away by the rain, as I set foot outside the station and didn't have a clue in what direction I was heading (I thought I might have been able to recognize some streets or something from my last visit..but KL being KL.. every street name sounds the same and every street looks the same and it was dark too, which didn't make matters easier!). So I jumped in a taxi, gave him the address, paid all of 3 dollars, and 15in later I was the Pujangga Homestay!!
I was where I had set out to be!! It took next to no effort at all and the hostel was so nice!! Within 5 minutes I had even made myself a wee Irish friend, Aine, who had just arrived that day too in KL, after having been in Cambodia for a month. We hit it off instantly.. and have been hanging out ever since (sounds like we've been friends for ages..haha). It was nearly midnight by this stage, but on my normal bodyclock, it was 03.30 am, I had been awake nearly 24 hours and feeling so tired. I went out about for a very short spell, to try and make some phonecalls, and I felt amazing, even though I was wrecked. I didn't phase walking around the streets of KL at night on my own. I didn't know exactly where I was, so I didn't venture very far, for fear of getting lost, which happens so easily in this place. But everything about this place, made me feel so great. There was no culture shock.. Nothing of the kind. It felt natural, normal and like I almost belonged here, for now. The hostel felt instantly familiar, as did the people.. I didn't get to sleep until around 1am, because I was back sleeping in a dorm with 6 others and there was lots of activity.. But not to worry..
So today I was out and about, hanging out with some girls from the hostel, a thai girl named Nana, and Aine. I was loving it.. The weather, the muggyness, the streets with all there mini stalls, full of food and yummiesness and a hype of activity everywhere I looked, it was so cool! The stares and the remarks from the locals was something I had expected, so I ignored them all. The smells on the street, some of them pretty stomach-turning, brought back so many memories from when I was here last. I had a little bit of a run-in with some not so nice people the last time I was here, which made me want to get out of this city asap, but today as I was walking down the same street where my little bit of misfortune had come my way, 2 years ago, all the memories came back, but it wasn't bad.. It was all good and I was glad to have returned.
I spent the day exploring China town, the markets, some temples, until I was so tired that I hopped on the monorail (which is a train the rides the same route back and forth, above the city, giving a great picture of everything-all the temples, mosques, highrise buildings alongside the dirty "slums" almost and derelict "houses". I sat as it the monorail rode back and forth, the same route, for a while, resting the legs and watching the Malaysian people going about their daily lives.. How much fun was I having!
All in the space of 24 hours.. So, now I sit in the hostel, and will be going out to the Chinese stalls, just around the corner for some Malaysian yumminess and maybe a beer.. huummm..
Yesterday was so cool though.. Why? Because I was suddenly apart of the real traveling world again. I was meeting people from the word "go" and was, and still am, loving every minute. When we finally got flying, as the flight was delayed by an hour and it then turned-out to be an 8 hour journey..instead of the 6 hours I thought it was going to be (silly me forgot to take the 3 hour time-difference into account), I didn't want the flight to end. Yes, of course I was excited to get to Malaysia but I was so comfortable on that flight that the thoughts of having to "throw" myself out into this big city and figure out how to get to the hostel and sort out my money and arrange my mobile phone and be on-the-ball and alert at all times.. all felt like so much effort, as I sat on the plane totally chilled and relaxed and reading my book.. But then when we landed, I just went with the flow, as I didn't have much choice..haha, and soon everything started happening.
I stepped off the plane the air was so hot and sticky. It was like walking into a room where the heating had been on forever and that hadn't had the slightest breeze or chilly wind..ever. Muggy is the word, and with that muggyness, there was rain. It was beautiful! I was instantly heated and refreshed by the rain, all at the same time! Most people would probably hate that kind of muggyness, but the aircon on the plane had felt really awful and cold, and seeing as though I feel the cold so easily, this heat was so very welcome. Being at the airport, which was tiny by the way, and chaotic, turned-out to be nothing but stress-free. Even though I hadn't a clue how to get to the city centre and I didn't know where my hostel was (that was a little booboo on my part.. I thought I had the directions from the airport to the hostel, but in my haste, as I was booking the hostel online back in Adelaide, I printed the wrong ones..oops!!). It was all pretty straight forward and the Malaysians hanging around the airport, offering to sell bustickets or taxirides, made it so easy.. They were the registered taxi's and coachservices ofcourse!! I hoped on a bus and sat and waited to get going. The only westerner on the coach, but I was feeling so confident and at ease. It felt so normal being here, that I wasn't even worried about what I was going to do once I got to the Central Station in KL. It was an hour and a half on the bus and I actually slept most of the way.. That's how at ease I felt, in this crazy and insane city.
Arriving at the station, the first thing that happens when you get off the coach: you are bombarded by taxi drivers wanting to offer you a ride. But I shrugged them all off and had stubborn thoughts of trying to find this hostel all by myself. But those thoughts soon went out the window, or were washed away by the rain, as I set foot outside the station and didn't have a clue in what direction I was heading (I thought I might have been able to recognize some streets or something from my last visit..but KL being KL.. every street name sounds the same and every street looks the same and it was dark too, which didn't make matters easier!). So I jumped in a taxi, gave him the address, paid all of 3 dollars, and 15in later I was the Pujangga Homestay!!
I was where I had set out to be!! It took next to no effort at all and the hostel was so nice!! Within 5 minutes I had even made myself a wee Irish friend, Aine, who had just arrived that day too in KL, after having been in Cambodia for a month. We hit it off instantly.. and have been hanging out ever since (sounds like we've been friends for ages..haha). It was nearly midnight by this stage, but on my normal bodyclock, it was 03.30 am, I had been awake nearly 24 hours and feeling so tired. I went out about for a very short spell, to try and make some phonecalls, and I felt amazing, even though I was wrecked. I didn't phase walking around the streets of KL at night on my own. I didn't know exactly where I was, so I didn't venture very far, for fear of getting lost, which happens so easily in this place. But everything about this place, made me feel so great. There was no culture shock.. Nothing of the kind. It felt natural, normal and like I almost belonged here, for now. The hostel felt instantly familiar, as did the people.. I didn't get to sleep until around 1am, because I was back sleeping in a dorm with 6 others and there was lots of activity.. But not to worry..
So today I was out and about, hanging out with some girls from the hostel, a thai girl named Nana, and Aine. I was loving it.. The weather, the muggyness, the streets with all there mini stalls, full of food and yummiesness and a hype of activity everywhere I looked, it was so cool! The stares and the remarks from the locals was something I had expected, so I ignored them all. The smells on the street, some of them pretty stomach-turning, brought back so many memories from when I was here last. I had a little bit of a run-in with some not so nice people the last time I was here, which made me want to get out of this city asap, but today as I was walking down the same street where my little bit of misfortune had come my way, 2 years ago, all the memories came back, but it wasn't bad.. It was all good and I was glad to have returned.
I spent the day exploring China town, the markets, some temples, until I was so tired that I hopped on the monorail (which is a train the rides the same route back and forth, above the city, giving a great picture of everything-all the temples, mosques, highrise buildings alongside the dirty "slums" almost and derelict "houses". I sat as it the monorail rode back and forth, the same route, for a while, resting the legs and watching the Malaysian people going about their daily lives.. How much fun was I having!
All in the space of 24 hours.. So, now I sit in the hostel, and will be going out to the Chinese stalls, just around the corner for some Malaysian yumminess and maybe a beer.. huummm..
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
In transition
Sitting at the airport.. Melbourne Airport to be exact. It's 10.56 am on the 1st of December. It's a Tuesday morning and it feels like I've been on the go for hours already. In a way, I suppose I have been. This morning I woke up at 04.30am, by the beach. Jason brought me to the Adelaide Airport, and my flight was due to leave at 06.50am. It was hectic, it was manic, it was packed and I very nearly missed the flight..
In some ways I'm glad of this, because then I didn't have to think too much about saying goodbye to Jason. It was short but sweet. I'll be coming back on the 27th of December and will be spending more precious time with him. We both don't know for how long or what either of our plans will be once the new year sets in, but we don't need to think that far ahead yet. First things first.. Niamh is leaving Oz for a month and flying to Malaysia.
I'm waiting for my flight, as I sit here right now. And I'm in transition. Not only physically but also mentally. That's the thing that always seems to happen to me when I'm in airports. I love them so much, because with every flight I take, I seem to be ending one chapter and starting another.. I always have hours to kill at the airport, just like most travellers, and if I don't have hours to kill I make sure I do by arriving too early.. I enjoy these periodes of transition so much. It's like I'm right in the middle of 2 chapters of my adventure. And whilst killing time, I think back over the chapter that's just closing and give it a place in my heart by learning from it, no matter what that chapter has thrown at me and no matter what realizations I have come to make. Once I've given that chapter a special place, I gear myself up for the next chapter. I almost mentally prepare myself for the unknown and try to find stability and security within myself, as I won't be having it anywhere else until the unknown is embraced as fully as possible and can be called the "known" in my eyes.
Leaving a place a security and certainty and stability, can be such a big step. But as I find the time and become aware that I'm now in transition, I can feel that leaving a secure and familiar environment doesn't and won't effect me in any way. Because having that feeling within yourself means that you can always go into the unknown knowing that everything that happens and comes your way doesn't have to be scary.. It's a beautiful and it's a part of learning and growing. And that's the place I'm reaching to right now. I don't feel uneasy or anxious or scared. I feel stable and in control. Whatever comes my way over the next month, will be for a reason. If it doens't turn out like I hope it will, nothing will be lost but there will always be something gained. I have no expectations as to how it will turn out, therefore nothing will be better or worse than it should be. It will be amazing no matter what..
In some ways I'm glad of this, because then I didn't have to think too much about saying goodbye to Jason. It was short but sweet. I'll be coming back on the 27th of December and will be spending more precious time with him. We both don't know for how long or what either of our plans will be once the new year sets in, but we don't need to think that far ahead yet. First things first.. Niamh is leaving Oz for a month and flying to Malaysia.
I'm waiting for my flight, as I sit here right now. And I'm in transition. Not only physically but also mentally. That's the thing that always seems to happen to me when I'm in airports. I love them so much, because with every flight I take, I seem to be ending one chapter and starting another.. I always have hours to kill at the airport, just like most travellers, and if I don't have hours to kill I make sure I do by arriving too early.. I enjoy these periodes of transition so much. It's like I'm right in the middle of 2 chapters of my adventure. And whilst killing time, I think back over the chapter that's just closing and give it a place in my heart by learning from it, no matter what that chapter has thrown at me and no matter what realizations I have come to make. Once I've given that chapter a special place, I gear myself up for the next chapter. I almost mentally prepare myself for the unknown and try to find stability and security within myself, as I won't be having it anywhere else until the unknown is embraced as fully as possible and can be called the "known" in my eyes.
Leaving a place a security and certainty and stability, can be such a big step. But as I find the time and become aware that I'm now in transition, I can feel that leaving a secure and familiar environment doesn't and won't effect me in any way. Because having that feeling within yourself means that you can always go into the unknown knowing that everything that happens and comes your way doesn't have to be scary.. It's a beautiful and it's a part of learning and growing. And that's the place I'm reaching to right now. I don't feel uneasy or anxious or scared. I feel stable and in control. Whatever comes my way over the next month, will be for a reason. If it doens't turn out like I hope it will, nothing will be lost but there will always be something gained. I have no expectations as to how it will turn out, therefore nothing will be better or worse than it should be. It will be amazing no matter what..
Friday, November 20, 2009
Where to from here..??
It's Friday evening, and the heat is passing.. Today it's raining and it's such a welcome relief. Where am I?? Well, I'm still in Nyah West. We are destined to stay here I reckon, cause we've been trying to leave since Monday afternoon, but with one thing and another, we just haven't managed to pack up the van and head off. First it was work that was stopping us from leaving. Then it was the heat that was stopping us from leaving. Then it was our lazy-mode that was stopping us from leaving. But all going well, and without any interferences, we'll be leaving Nyah West tomorrow. It's definitely time now. We've stretched our stay as far as possible and the more we stretch it, the harder it will be to leave. So we're biting the bullet and we're off to Adelaide.
Between the hot spells of weather we've been having over the past week, I've managed to make a decision. My brain might have been fried by the scorching sun beating down on it through my straw hat, but I still managed to see some opportunities come my way and make some plans and finally take some action!!
When did I start cooking up these plans? Well it was last week. We were still working on the rose farm at this point, and I felt like I wanted to go somewhere and do something alone, by myself, in the big wide world. I've been having itchy feet for a while now, and it's so easy to stay with Jason and the work. But, at the moment, I'm in exploring-mode I think. But I hadn't a clue what to do or where to go. I thought for a while to go to some spots in Oz that I haven't been yet. Then I thought of working with Jason until the new year, to save some extra dollars. But the thoughts of doing either of these, didn't excited me. I felt like I needed a challenge, I needed to do something for myself and by myself, I needed to branch out, even it was to be for only a couple of weeks. I figured I'd worked pretty hard the past months, and financially I was set for a while. But travelling in Oz for a month can be so expensive, too expensive almost, considering there isn't really any other place I'm longing to see in Oz. For the same price I'd be able to travel to Asia somewhere.. Hummm.. This got me thinking.
I hadn't a clue where I wanted to go. So I just started browsing the net last week, searching for a sign of some sort, showing me which country could offer me some adventure - a sign in the form of a cheap flight was actually what I was after.. And I found it. It took me a few days before I actually made the decision to book it and being the indecisive person I am, I could have done with some coaxing from someone here, but I actually wanted to make the decision all by myself. And I did!! last Friday I booked a flight to Malaysia!!! It was "cheap as chips", and the dates worked out so well.. I had a whole "plan" in my head, as soon as I seen the dates and the prices of the flights. I just needed some certainty, regarding work in Adelaide with Jason for the next week.. If everything was to fall into place, I knew these were the flights I had to book. And within a day everything managed to miraculously fall into place.
So what's the plan? Well, we're leaving Nyah West tomorrow, going to Adelaide. We start work on Monday, on a rose farm. I'm staying until the 1st of December. And from Adelaide I fly to Melbourne and on the same day I fly to Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia. I'm staying until the 27th of December, flying back to Melbourne and will be going to a festival near Swan Hill with Jason that lasts until the 4th of Jan, to celebrate the new year. I couldn't quite believe how easily everything came together. It was amazing and I was, and still am, so excited. It will be amazing to travel in Asia again. I've been to Malaysia before, but had a bad experience and wanted to leave the place asap. And that's exactly what I did. I swore never to go back there again. But when this flight popped up on the screen, and the more I thought of visiting this country again, the more I thought it would be amazing to give it a "second chance". Because it is a beautiful country, with beautiful people and an amazing culture. And being in a different culture again will give me that boost again and the confidence I'll be needing once I decide where next to travel to. It's going to be so good for, doing this again. And it's going to be so different than the last time. Traveling in general gives me totally different things, than it did when I was traveling for the first time. So I know it's going to be amazing..
Everything has been taken care of, and I feel so at ease about going over there. There's not a fear or a doubt in my mind.. Just excitement in my heart..
It's the last night at the pub, and we'll be saying goodbye to everyone a little later on. We're sad to be leaving, but so happy to have been here in the first place. At the moment it's getting busier, so we're leaving before the season gets started properly, but it's been so cool. Who knows, we might be back, together. I know Jason will definitely be back at some stage. But what the circumstances will be, we don't know. But as always, time will tell!!
Between the hot spells of weather we've been having over the past week, I've managed to make a decision. My brain might have been fried by the scorching sun beating down on it through my straw hat, but I still managed to see some opportunities come my way and make some plans and finally take some action!!
When did I start cooking up these plans? Well it was last week. We were still working on the rose farm at this point, and I felt like I wanted to go somewhere and do something alone, by myself, in the big wide world. I've been having itchy feet for a while now, and it's so easy to stay with Jason and the work. But, at the moment, I'm in exploring-mode I think. But I hadn't a clue what to do or where to go. I thought for a while to go to some spots in Oz that I haven't been yet. Then I thought of working with Jason until the new year, to save some extra dollars. But the thoughts of doing either of these, didn't excited me. I felt like I needed a challenge, I needed to do something for myself and by myself, I needed to branch out, even it was to be for only a couple of weeks. I figured I'd worked pretty hard the past months, and financially I was set for a while. But travelling in Oz for a month can be so expensive, too expensive almost, considering there isn't really any other place I'm longing to see in Oz. For the same price I'd be able to travel to Asia somewhere.. Hummm.. This got me thinking.
I hadn't a clue where I wanted to go. So I just started browsing the net last week, searching for a sign of some sort, showing me which country could offer me some adventure - a sign in the form of a cheap flight was actually what I was after.. And I found it. It took me a few days before I actually made the decision to book it and being the indecisive person I am, I could have done with some coaxing from someone here, but I actually wanted to make the decision all by myself. And I did!! last Friday I booked a flight to Malaysia!!! It was "cheap as chips", and the dates worked out so well.. I had a whole "plan" in my head, as soon as I seen the dates and the prices of the flights. I just needed some certainty, regarding work in Adelaide with Jason for the next week.. If everything was to fall into place, I knew these were the flights I had to book. And within a day everything managed to miraculously fall into place.
So what's the plan? Well, we're leaving Nyah West tomorrow, going to Adelaide. We start work on Monday, on a rose farm. I'm staying until the 1st of December. And from Adelaide I fly to Melbourne and on the same day I fly to Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia. I'm staying until the 27th of December, flying back to Melbourne and will be going to a festival near Swan Hill with Jason that lasts until the 4th of Jan, to celebrate the new year. I couldn't quite believe how easily everything came together. It was amazing and I was, and still am, so excited. It will be amazing to travel in Asia again. I've been to Malaysia before, but had a bad experience and wanted to leave the place asap. And that's exactly what I did. I swore never to go back there again. But when this flight popped up on the screen, and the more I thought of visiting this country again, the more I thought it would be amazing to give it a "second chance". Because it is a beautiful country, with beautiful people and an amazing culture. And being in a different culture again will give me that boost again and the confidence I'll be needing once I decide where next to travel to. It's going to be so good for, doing this again. And it's going to be so different than the last time. Traveling in general gives me totally different things, than it did when I was traveling for the first time. So I know it's going to be amazing..
Everything has been taken care of, and I feel so at ease about going over there. There's not a fear or a doubt in my mind.. Just excitement in my heart..
It's the last night at the pub, and we'll be saying goodbye to everyone a little later on. We're sad to be leaving, but so happy to have been here in the first place. At the moment it's getting busier, so we're leaving before the season gets started properly, but it's been so cool. Who knows, we might be back, together. I know Jason will definitely be back at some stage. But what the circumstances will be, we don't know. But as always, time will tell!!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
My Cairns experience
This update will be a little fuzzy and might not make much sense. But my writing always represents how my head is feeling, which can also be described as "fuzzy" at the moment.
Leaving Cairns. My last day in this city..and so far it's been crazy and long. I reckon it's about to get even longer. This morning, Saturday the 22nd of August, we were due to leave our little "ashram" in this tropical paradise. The contract was up in our share house and by 10am we were on the street.. Temporarily homeless..
With a little hangover, me and Janice parted this morning. She managed to get herself sorted out, when it came to finding a job too. On Thursday she finally decided that she'd be going to Ayr (which is a 7 hour drive from here), to work on a farm. There wouldn't be work straight away. But within a couple of weeks she should find herself picking fruit. We knew we'd be parting, once I had decided to go and work for Jason. And we knew it was time. I could feel that being in each others company for much longer, wouldn't have been good for either of us. We are too alike, when it comes to alot of things, which can be amazing but also hard work at the same time.
The first week after we met, we couldn't imagine not being in each others company, as we had gotten so close, so quickly. Back then, just the thought of us having to leave each other at some stage made me feel sick to my stomach. But that eased off, once we settled. So I knew that it would be best for us to part. At the time we met, it was for a purpose. We have helped each other so much over the past weeks, and have learned so many things that we wouldn't have learned if we had never met. Knowing this, we were excited to both move on and continue with our own individual journey. So it felt great when after 4 weeks of living together, we realized that our paths were only going to be passing for a certain amount of time. We were destined to meet, the way we did at the airport. And we're now moving on, in different directions, carrying each other in our hearts. With all this in mind, when it came to saying goodbye this morning, I wasn't too sad. I knew I'd feel that feeling again once she left: the glorious one of being totally independent again and on my own..even if it only is for a day, until I get back to Jason again.
Last night, before we went out for some drinks, I sat on the bed, in a clean room, with space and with my own thoughts as I contemplated the past 4 weeks. It was like I was seeing a summary of this whole experience, different clips from a movie, set in Cairns.. So hectic, but yet so peaceful: the talks and the parties, the tears and the laughter, the exploring and the learning, the sun and the lagoon, the music and the job search, the backpackers and the familiar faces. So much great memories..
So I was sitting on the bed and thought of how crazy it can be, the way circumstances lead towards certain situations and how we really never know how things will plan out. I don't regret that I didn't find work here and that my stay in Cairns is far shorter than I expected it to be. It's time to move on now, and the thoughts of working again, excites me. It's time for a different environment and different people. The partying is done now, for the next while. It will be strange not being in the sun anymore, not being able to go for a drink whenever I like, and not being a part of the busy world for the next while. It will take me a few days or a week even to come down off this high that I'm on and that I can easily get from meeting so many new and great people and from being apart of this busy and familiar environment.
Some of the people I'm talking about, are Irish Cora, Russian Micheal, French Alex, Australian Tristan.. They're all part of my Cairns experience. And by the familiar environment I mean the community that has become so so small: I'm suddenly starting to be recognized when I'm walking down the street on my own, by a passing stranger that asks me how my head is feeling after the big night I had last night as he supposedly spotted me on the dance floor somewhere.. Humm..
So at the moment, I'm waiting to leave Cairns. The past 3 nights have been random, unexpectedly long and so much fun. I've gotten the partying out of my system, but the effects I'm still feeling.. There hasn't been alot of sleeping unfortunately, and there won't be until tomorrow night. My flight is at 5.30am tomorrow morning and I'm bedless until I get to Shepparton tomorrow evening. Tonight I'll be sleeping at the airport. Until it's time to get the bus, I'll be filling this day with catching up with some guys we were hanging out with. I'm not feeling lost, but am eager to get going. The taxi to the airport will be at around midnight, and I'll be waiting patiently for quite a while for take-off. It's a whole day of traveling tomorrow, so I'll be pretty knackered by the time I get to where I'm going. Thankfully we're starting work on Tuesday, so that gives me Monday to rest. Can't wait.
So for now, I'm so grateful for what this beautiful city has given me.. And as one chapter is closing, another is opening.
Leaving Cairns. My last day in this city..and so far it's been crazy and long. I reckon it's about to get even longer. This morning, Saturday the 22nd of August, we were due to leave our little "ashram" in this tropical paradise. The contract was up in our share house and by 10am we were on the street.. Temporarily homeless..
With a little hangover, me and Janice parted this morning. She managed to get herself sorted out, when it came to finding a job too. On Thursday she finally decided that she'd be going to Ayr (which is a 7 hour drive from here), to work on a farm. There wouldn't be work straight away. But within a couple of weeks she should find herself picking fruit. We knew we'd be parting, once I had decided to go and work for Jason. And we knew it was time. I could feel that being in each others company for much longer, wouldn't have been good for either of us. We are too alike, when it comes to alot of things, which can be amazing but also hard work at the same time.
The first week after we met, we couldn't imagine not being in each others company, as we had gotten so close, so quickly. Back then, just the thought of us having to leave each other at some stage made me feel sick to my stomach. But that eased off, once we settled. So I knew that it would be best for us to part. At the time we met, it was for a purpose. We have helped each other so much over the past weeks, and have learned so many things that we wouldn't have learned if we had never met. Knowing this, we were excited to both move on and continue with our own individual journey. So it felt great when after 4 weeks of living together, we realized that our paths were only going to be passing for a certain amount of time. We were destined to meet, the way we did at the airport. And we're now moving on, in different directions, carrying each other in our hearts. With all this in mind, when it came to saying goodbye this morning, I wasn't too sad. I knew I'd feel that feeling again once she left: the glorious one of being totally independent again and on my own..even if it only is for a day, until I get back to Jason again.
Last night, before we went out for some drinks, I sat on the bed, in a clean room, with space and with my own thoughts as I contemplated the past 4 weeks. It was like I was seeing a summary of this whole experience, different clips from a movie, set in Cairns.. So hectic, but yet so peaceful: the talks and the parties, the tears and the laughter, the exploring and the learning, the sun and the lagoon, the music and the job search, the backpackers and the familiar faces. So much great memories..
So I was sitting on the bed and thought of how crazy it can be, the way circumstances lead towards certain situations and how we really never know how things will plan out. I don't regret that I didn't find work here and that my stay in Cairns is far shorter than I expected it to be. It's time to move on now, and the thoughts of working again, excites me. It's time for a different environment and different people. The partying is done now, for the next while. It will be strange not being in the sun anymore, not being able to go for a drink whenever I like, and not being a part of the busy world for the next while. It will take me a few days or a week even to come down off this high that I'm on and that I can easily get from meeting so many new and great people and from being apart of this busy and familiar environment.
Some of the people I'm talking about, are Irish Cora, Russian Micheal, French Alex, Australian Tristan.. They're all part of my Cairns experience. And by the familiar environment I mean the community that has become so so small: I'm suddenly starting to be recognized when I'm walking down the street on my own, by a passing stranger that asks me how my head is feeling after the big night I had last night as he supposedly spotted me on the dance floor somewhere.. Humm..
So at the moment, I'm waiting to leave Cairns. The past 3 nights have been random, unexpectedly long and so much fun. I've gotten the partying out of my system, but the effects I'm still feeling.. There hasn't been alot of sleeping unfortunately, and there won't be until tomorrow night. My flight is at 5.30am tomorrow morning and I'm bedless until I get to Shepparton tomorrow evening. Tonight I'll be sleeping at the airport. Until it's time to get the bus, I'll be filling this day with catching up with some guys we were hanging out with. I'm not feeling lost, but am eager to get going. The taxi to the airport will be at around midnight, and I'll be waiting patiently for quite a while for take-off. It's a whole day of traveling tomorrow, so I'll be pretty knackered by the time I get to where I'm going. Thankfully we're starting work on Tuesday, so that gives me Monday to rest. Can't wait.
So for now, I'm so grateful for what this beautiful city has given me.. And as one chapter is closing, another is opening.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
The low-down on work
After many days of job searching and walking the streets of Cairns, which have suddenly become so small, predictable and familiar as the same faces, the same workers and the same travellers are sighted, an opportunity finally came along which I seriously had to consider. But it was an offer slightly different than I expected.
It's Thursday morning, the 20th of August. Last week Monday I got a phone call from Jason, as I was distributing my resume, yet again. He said that he had been offered a job in Shepperton, Victoria. He needed a worker from the 24th of August. He instantly thought of me, as I was still jobless. The thought excited me initially, of working for him again. As well as being fun, it would also be familiar as I had done the same job nearly 3 years ago, which was tree-tieing. Back then I claimed that it was one of the hardest jobs I had done in my life, in the physical sense. So this put me off. But Jason reassured me that it wouldn't be half as hard going as it was "all those years ago". I didn't say yes or no. I let the idea sit with me and still carried on jobhunting here in Cairns. So on I went for a few more days, not wanting to "fail".
Everyone knows how disheartening it can be, when you distribute 50 or more cv's and you don't receive 1 phonecall.. Well, that's how my status was starting to look, at one stage. I was also starting to panic, after hearing stories about how people are deciding to go back home because of being out of work and money. I was doing my own head in. I was just so determined to get a job here and it was what I had been focusing on. As I was weighing up the odds, I started to see myself as very lucky because of the job opportunity I had, which a lot travellers would give anything for.
Last week I wasn't really trying as hard as I had been trying anymore. I felt that it just wasn't going to happen, as my heart wasn't in it anymore. I knew that it was pointless in putting all this effort into looking for a job here, which could possibly turn out to be not at all what I had expected or hoped for it to be. I started to realize that by working with Jason, I'd at least know what I'm getting myself into. I'd be earning relatively good money, I'd be doing something I'd done before, it wouldn't be too hardgoing, I get along with my boss - which is Jason ;) - and he knows how much physical work I'm able for.
This is me being the indecisive person I've always been. Especially when it comes to such a decision. But finally, after a lot of humming and hahing I was able to make a decision. I decided to go for it. I booked a flight to Melbourne and there was no turning back.
Since booking the flight, I've been feeling so much more settled again. I don't have to worry anymore. I know where I'm going and I know what I want. And I can see that it's time to move on. I don't feel bad for not finding a job here, but as I said, I feel lucky that I have this chance. Cairns was starting to become a place I was dreading to step foot into each morning, because of the hunt. I didn't it to become that kind of a place in my head. So this week has been one where I've started to look at the city as a holiday place, a place of "transition", a place I had to come to in order to try my hand at living in the tropics. It was something I needed and I'm glad of this experience. So up until I leave, I'll been hanging out and trying to spend as much time with Janice and Cora as possible.. We've been having bbq's, watching dvds, sunbathing, meeting lots of different people and we still have a few more nights of partying to do, before we go our separate ways.
So for now, I'm a tourist, until the work starts..
It's Thursday morning, the 20th of August. Last week Monday I got a phone call from Jason, as I was distributing my resume, yet again. He said that he had been offered a job in Shepperton, Victoria. He needed a worker from the 24th of August. He instantly thought of me, as I was still jobless. The thought excited me initially, of working for him again. As well as being fun, it would also be familiar as I had done the same job nearly 3 years ago, which was tree-tieing. Back then I claimed that it was one of the hardest jobs I had done in my life, in the physical sense. So this put me off. But Jason reassured me that it wouldn't be half as hard going as it was "all those years ago". I didn't say yes or no. I let the idea sit with me and still carried on jobhunting here in Cairns. So on I went for a few more days, not wanting to "fail".
Everyone knows how disheartening it can be, when you distribute 50 or more cv's and you don't receive 1 phonecall.. Well, that's how my status was starting to look, at one stage. I was also starting to panic, after hearing stories about how people are deciding to go back home because of being out of work and money. I was doing my own head in. I was just so determined to get a job here and it was what I had been focusing on. As I was weighing up the odds, I started to see myself as very lucky because of the job opportunity I had, which a lot travellers would give anything for.
Last week I wasn't really trying as hard as I had been trying anymore. I felt that it just wasn't going to happen, as my heart wasn't in it anymore. I knew that it was pointless in putting all this effort into looking for a job here, which could possibly turn out to be not at all what I had expected or hoped for it to be. I started to realize that by working with Jason, I'd at least know what I'm getting myself into. I'd be earning relatively good money, I'd be doing something I'd done before, it wouldn't be too hardgoing, I get along with my boss - which is Jason ;) - and he knows how much physical work I'm able for.
This is me being the indecisive person I've always been. Especially when it comes to such a decision. But finally, after a lot of humming and hahing I was able to make a decision. I decided to go for it. I booked a flight to Melbourne and there was no turning back.
Since booking the flight, I've been feeling so much more settled again. I don't have to worry anymore. I know where I'm going and I know what I want. And I can see that it's time to move on. I don't feel bad for not finding a job here, but as I said, I feel lucky that I have this chance. Cairns was starting to become a place I was dreading to step foot into each morning, because of the hunt. I didn't it to become that kind of a place in my head. So this week has been one where I've started to look at the city as a holiday place, a place of "transition", a place I had to come to in order to try my hand at living in the tropics. It was something I needed and I'm glad of this experience. So up until I leave, I'll been hanging out and trying to spend as much time with Janice and Cora as possible.. We've been having bbq's, watching dvds, sunbathing, meeting lots of different people and we still have a few more nights of partying to do, before we go our separate ways.
So for now, I'm a tourist, until the work starts..
Thursday, July 23, 2009
A miracle.. if ever there was one
Wednesday Morning, the 22nd of July. I got on a plane, I left Jason and flew to Cairns. In some ways it felt wrong, as I turned and walked through passport control. But in other ways it also felt freeing. My emotions were so mixed, that I can't give them just one name.
As I walked away, I instantly had to take on a different approach towards everything.. Suddenly there was no one there anymore to talk to, or to listen to, or to ask about where we should go or what we should do. Every single decision I was going to make, from that moment on, was my own. This is a feeling of being so free that I felt, when I said goodbye at Dublin airport 3 months ago, even though I knew I was going to see Trish and Wayne on the otherside in Brisbane. I also felt it, when I said goodbye to Trish and Wayne at Brisbane airport, even though I knew I was going to see Jason on the other end. I felt it when I first set off, 5 years ago, when I said goodbye to Emma and Orla at Schiphol Airport, when I was going to London for 3 months on my very first big adventure. So it was a familiar feeling.. And yesterday it was there again. It's a feeling that gives me confidence, that tells me anything is possible. It's even a feeling that makes me want to walk taller and I instantly feel stronger. It makes me feel like there's nothing else in the world, except me and the unknown. I was totally dependent on myself once again, after so so long..
Getting on that plane, first to Melbourne (where I had a short stop-over), was a risk. I was taking a chance, taking a leap of faith. However I had to let go of the feeling that this next step could possibly be the wrong decision. If I were to hold on to that, I could easily end-up living according to those feelings. It took alot for me to accept the freedom in this uncertainty and leave the fear behind. I knew I had to feel fine with what the unknown gives me and the opportunities that can arise from it. The journey was 5 hours in total. I was nervous and excited, and sad, all at the same time. When I got on the plane in Melbourne, I spotted a girl with short hair, and she stroke me as being French. She had a very distinctive look about her and I instantly knew she was traveling. My seat number was 22f. A window seat.. I was delighted. Once I settled in my seat, this short-haired girl sat beside me. We didn't chat, and I was still convinced she was French.. I had no intentions of chatting to her. I was too busy sorting out my head..
The flight was 3.5 hours. Beautiful scenery, and I was writing lots and lots..all to get to that place of not fearing what I was going to encounter once setting foot back in Cairns. It was going to be so different without Jason. I didn't know if I'd miss him even more, by being reminded of where we went together and the great experiences we had. I didn't have a hostel booked either. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't have a plan. All I knew was that, whatever happens, happens.. I also knew for sure that I would have time to focus on me and on what it is I want and need to do next in this beautiful life. I wrote so much, that I can't recall exactly what I put into words, but one thing did stick with me and that was that I was so excited as to who I was going to meet..
Towards the end of the flight, the girl next to me, starting chatting away. She ended up being Irish (the plane was pretty noisy, so that might have been the reason why I thought she was French..huummmm), and she was traveling and, just like me, she had no clue what she was doing or where she was staying. Not reading too much into this coincidence, we got off the plane and went our separate ways.. I had no intentions of trying to tag along with her. I was feeling fine with going into the city alone. I picked up my luggage and walked up to this information board, that had lots of different phone numbers displayed of the hostels around the city. I walked up, and stared.. What was I going to do? Then the Irish girl did the exact same.. she walked up and stared. Then another girl did the exact same.. she walked up and stared.. So here we were.. 3 girls, staring at the same information board, finding ourselves in the exact same situation.. We were traveling alone, we had just gotten off the same flight from Melbourne, we didn't know where to go in the city, but more importantly, we were all so excited about being in this beautiful place..
We started chatting and chatting and before we knew what was happening, we had booked ourselves into a hostel, in a room with just the 3 of us and it was like we had known each other for ages. We got to the hostel, which is around 5 minutes from the city center, and chatted more and more.. We were like old buddies. Their names are Cora (27, from Galway) and Janice (31, from Malta) and I'm blessed to have met them. It became apparent that the 3 of us had the exact same feelings, when we boarded that flight, earlier on that morning. We all had visions, and maybe even concerns, about getting to a hostel infested with pissed, noisy and immature teenagers. all partying up and down the east coast of oz. We all had visions of being alone and feeling lost (because we all had just left some special people behind) and feared that we would regret the decision we made in coming to Cairns. We had such a laugh when we admitted that we really didn't want to be the typical backpacking "pissheads" anymore. The 3 of us were so over it..
Cora and Janice are really really special. We chatted until I don't know what hour last night and have definitely met for a reason. We spoke about why we booked that particular flight, what reasons there were and how blessed we are that we all stood at the same information board at the exact same time. We wouldn't have met otherwise. Me and Janice are both on the same wavelength. We connected instantly and I'm so so eager to get to know even more about her. I know we'll both learn so much from each other. It excites me so much.
I went to sleep last night, feeling like I was walking on air. Why? Because I couldn't believe my luck. I think the 3 of us felt the same. I woke up this morning, and felt like I was on holidays.. Even though I'm in a place that holds alot of memories I share with Jason, I was still so eager to get out and start this new chapter, this new adventure. I wasn't worried about feeling lost without Jason. Cairns looks different right now. I already felt it yesterday, when I sat in the hostel. I woke up and was eager to start the day, and to get to know these 2 great girls even more. It's so exciting and we seem to be at the exact same place.
Not even 24 hours ago, I didn't know of their existence. Now I feel I know them well, especially Janice, and I don't want to have to say goodbye to her just yet. This was destiny. I'm 100% certain of it.. It's almost a miracle and I'm already feeling privileged to have met them, especially Janice..
So I now sit at the computer, in the heart of Cairns. It's a beautiful day and I'm so excited. Yesterday was a massive day, and now it's settling and the opportunities that have arisen, since getting here, I feel are huge. There's so much going on right now, that it's hard to keep up with my yearnings and my enthusiasm to start making great things happen for me. We still will never know what will happen next, but life can be so miraculous. It might all sound very far fetched, but it's just how it is right now..
I'll be staying in the same hostel for another few days, I can't say what I'll be doing next, but I'll be sure to keep you posted.
As I walked away, I instantly had to take on a different approach towards everything.. Suddenly there was no one there anymore to talk to, or to listen to, or to ask about where we should go or what we should do. Every single decision I was going to make, from that moment on, was my own. This is a feeling of being so free that I felt, when I said goodbye at Dublin airport 3 months ago, even though I knew I was going to see Trish and Wayne on the otherside in Brisbane. I also felt it, when I said goodbye to Trish and Wayne at Brisbane airport, even though I knew I was going to see Jason on the other end. I felt it when I first set off, 5 years ago, when I said goodbye to Emma and Orla at Schiphol Airport, when I was going to London for 3 months on my very first big adventure. So it was a familiar feeling.. And yesterday it was there again. It's a feeling that gives me confidence, that tells me anything is possible. It's even a feeling that makes me want to walk taller and I instantly feel stronger. It makes me feel like there's nothing else in the world, except me and the unknown. I was totally dependent on myself once again, after so so long..
Getting on that plane, first to Melbourne (where I had a short stop-over), was a risk. I was taking a chance, taking a leap of faith. However I had to let go of the feeling that this next step could possibly be the wrong decision. If I were to hold on to that, I could easily end-up living according to those feelings. It took alot for me to accept the freedom in this uncertainty and leave the fear behind. I knew I had to feel fine with what the unknown gives me and the opportunities that can arise from it. The journey was 5 hours in total. I was nervous and excited, and sad, all at the same time. When I got on the plane in Melbourne, I spotted a girl with short hair, and she stroke me as being French. She had a very distinctive look about her and I instantly knew she was traveling. My seat number was 22f. A window seat.. I was delighted. Once I settled in my seat, this short-haired girl sat beside me. We didn't chat, and I was still convinced she was French.. I had no intentions of chatting to her. I was too busy sorting out my head..
The flight was 3.5 hours. Beautiful scenery, and I was writing lots and lots..all to get to that place of not fearing what I was going to encounter once setting foot back in Cairns. It was going to be so different without Jason. I didn't know if I'd miss him even more, by being reminded of where we went together and the great experiences we had. I didn't have a hostel booked either. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't have a plan. All I knew was that, whatever happens, happens.. I also knew for sure that I would have time to focus on me and on what it is I want and need to do next in this beautiful life. I wrote so much, that I can't recall exactly what I put into words, but one thing did stick with me and that was that I was so excited as to who I was going to meet..
Towards the end of the flight, the girl next to me, starting chatting away. She ended up being Irish (the plane was pretty noisy, so that might have been the reason why I thought she was French..huummmm), and she was traveling and, just like me, she had no clue what she was doing or where she was staying. Not reading too much into this coincidence, we got off the plane and went our separate ways.. I had no intentions of trying to tag along with her. I was feeling fine with going into the city alone. I picked up my luggage and walked up to this information board, that had lots of different phone numbers displayed of the hostels around the city. I walked up, and stared.. What was I going to do? Then the Irish girl did the exact same.. she walked up and stared. Then another girl did the exact same.. she walked up and stared.. So here we were.. 3 girls, staring at the same information board, finding ourselves in the exact same situation.. We were traveling alone, we had just gotten off the same flight from Melbourne, we didn't know where to go in the city, but more importantly, we were all so excited about being in this beautiful place..
We started chatting and chatting and before we knew what was happening, we had booked ourselves into a hostel, in a room with just the 3 of us and it was like we had known each other for ages. We got to the hostel, which is around 5 minutes from the city center, and chatted more and more.. We were like old buddies. Their names are Cora (27, from Galway) and Janice (31, from Malta) and I'm blessed to have met them. It became apparent that the 3 of us had the exact same feelings, when we boarded that flight, earlier on that morning. We all had visions, and maybe even concerns, about getting to a hostel infested with pissed, noisy and immature teenagers. all partying up and down the east coast of oz. We all had visions of being alone and feeling lost (because we all had just left some special people behind) and feared that we would regret the decision we made in coming to Cairns. We had such a laugh when we admitted that we really didn't want to be the typical backpacking "pissheads" anymore. The 3 of us were so over it..
Cora and Janice are really really special. We chatted until I don't know what hour last night and have definitely met for a reason. We spoke about why we booked that particular flight, what reasons there were and how blessed we are that we all stood at the same information board at the exact same time. We wouldn't have met otherwise. Me and Janice are both on the same wavelength. We connected instantly and I'm so so eager to get to know even more about her. I know we'll both learn so much from each other. It excites me so much.
I went to sleep last night, feeling like I was walking on air. Why? Because I couldn't believe my luck. I think the 3 of us felt the same. I woke up this morning, and felt like I was on holidays.. Even though I'm in a place that holds alot of memories I share with Jason, I was still so eager to get out and start this new chapter, this new adventure. I wasn't worried about feeling lost without Jason. Cairns looks different right now. I already felt it yesterday, when I sat in the hostel. I woke up and was eager to start the day, and to get to know these 2 great girls even more. It's so exciting and we seem to be at the exact same place.
Not even 24 hours ago, I didn't know of their existence. Now I feel I know them well, especially Janice, and I don't want to have to say goodbye to her just yet. This was destiny. I'm 100% certain of it.. It's almost a miracle and I'm already feeling privileged to have met them, especially Janice..
So I now sit at the computer, in the heart of Cairns. It's a beautiful day and I'm so excited. Yesterday was a massive day, and now it's settling and the opportunities that have arisen, since getting here, I feel are huge. There's so much going on right now, that it's hard to keep up with my yearnings and my enthusiasm to start making great things happen for me. We still will never know what will happen next, but life can be so miraculous. It might all sound very far fetched, but it's just how it is right now..
I'll be staying in the same hostel for another few days, I can't say what I'll be doing next, but I'll be sure to keep you posted.
Coming Full-Circle Part 2
Our last day was spent doing a winetour in the Borassa Valley. This is what South Australia is known for..the 96 wineries, all within a 20km radius. Jason had said from the beginning of the trip that when we get to Adelaide, we'll spend our last day visiting all the wineries, tasting all that's on offer and getting drunk in the process. So that's exactly what we did. I can now say that I'm a wine expert..when it comes to knowing that "mixing around 30 different kinds of wines isn't the way to go, when you don't want end up feeling pretty sickly". That's all I can say on the subject.. From white wine, to rose, to dark red, to port, to muscat, to mead.. They all passed my palate (as they would say in wine-jargon), and I don't plan on drinking anything made from grapes that consists of alcohol for next while.. Or maybe the next few days or hours anyhow..
We camped that night in a suburb in Adelaide by the beach. Both pretty drunk, and still not being able to grasp that this was the end of our roadtrip together. I was up at 3.30am the next morning, trying to pack, in the still of the night. We headed to the airport, and nobody would have guessed that I was hungover as bedamned.. Why? Because there was simply too much going on, when it came to just about everything, that the hangover was the least of worries: leaving Jason, ending the trip, saying goodbye to Myvan, thinking about where to stay in Cairns and nearly being convinced that this could end up being a big mistake. The hangover wasn't there, but the nervous and sickly feeling was very much present. Ending the trip on a clean note..I had a shower in the airport, checked-in my bags.. and then it was time to say goodbye.. We didn't drag it out and I was also almost certain that I'd come back down to Victoria to work with him, in 4 months time. Almost, I say, as nothing is ever a certain in this life. But I figure if we do end up missing each other that much, then it won't even be a question if and how I get back down to work with him in Nyah. I just simply will make it happen.
An amazing trip.. 8 whole weeks (exactly) of driving, seeing, doing, being, laughing, sometimes crying, sometimes complaining, sometimes disagreeing.. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week we were in each others company. We said, after the first 3 weeks, that it was a risky thing we did: deciding to do a massive roadtrip together, after no having seen each other in 2.5 years.. It could have been disastrous. But it wasn't anything but that. It was amazing. We both have said it's a trip a of lifetime. And it was.
I've been on roadtrips before, and have traveled around with people on the odd occasion, so it's saying alot when I say that this trip literally WAS the trip of a lifetime. It wasn't just because of what we've seen.. When I did the West Coast for example, 2 years ago, the experience was totally different. It was rushed, it was scary, it was chaotic. But the scenery over there is out of this world. Some parts would probably even be prettier and more breathtaking than some of the places we've seen over the past weeks. But with this trip, it was just about perfect because of the freedom, the van, the company, the way we were able to communicate whenever either of us was down and out. It was the fact that there was no pressure, no stress, no time limit - even though we knew our money would run out, we still managed to get into that frame of mind where time really can stand still. It was the unknown that made it so amazing. When I traveled the West Coast, we had a plan, a tight schedule, that we had to keep following.. and that's why the experience was so different from this trip. Also traveling with just 2 people is so freeing, compared to traveling with 5 people.. We were on the same wavelength when it came to flowing with the moment. We knew each others weaknesses and therefore we knew what to do when we they would become apparent, due to certain situations. He also pushed me, into doing certain things that I would never even have considered doing, 2 or 3 months ago.. He brought out that adventurous side in me, that I sometimes feared I was lacking.. How grateful I am, for this experience..
An amazing journey, and I'm sad that it's ended. I really am. I know I'll miss Jason's company, I'll miss the van, I'll miss the freedom, I'll miss living in the moment and I'll miss the unknown. But, all good things must come to an end, and this next step I'm taking, I need. I have listened and I know what I heard.. "This is the time for me to branch out and be independent again, no matter how hard saying goodbye was.."
"What a trip.."
We camped that night in a suburb in Adelaide by the beach. Both pretty drunk, and still not being able to grasp that this was the end of our roadtrip together. I was up at 3.30am the next morning, trying to pack, in the still of the night. We headed to the airport, and nobody would have guessed that I was hungover as bedamned.. Why? Because there was simply too much going on, when it came to just about everything, that the hangover was the least of worries: leaving Jason, ending the trip, saying goodbye to Myvan, thinking about where to stay in Cairns and nearly being convinced that this could end up being a big mistake. The hangover wasn't there, but the nervous and sickly feeling was very much present. Ending the trip on a clean note..I had a shower in the airport, checked-in my bags.. and then it was time to say goodbye.. We didn't drag it out and I was also almost certain that I'd come back down to Victoria to work with him, in 4 months time. Almost, I say, as nothing is ever a certain in this life. But I figure if we do end up missing each other that much, then it won't even be a question if and how I get back down to work with him in Nyah. I just simply will make it happen.
An amazing trip.. 8 whole weeks (exactly) of driving, seeing, doing, being, laughing, sometimes crying, sometimes complaining, sometimes disagreeing.. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week we were in each others company. We said, after the first 3 weeks, that it was a risky thing we did: deciding to do a massive roadtrip together, after no having seen each other in 2.5 years.. It could have been disastrous. But it wasn't anything but that. It was amazing. We both have said it's a trip a of lifetime. And it was.
I've been on roadtrips before, and have traveled around with people on the odd occasion, so it's saying alot when I say that this trip literally WAS the trip of a lifetime. It wasn't just because of what we've seen.. When I did the West Coast for example, 2 years ago, the experience was totally different. It was rushed, it was scary, it was chaotic. But the scenery over there is out of this world. Some parts would probably even be prettier and more breathtaking than some of the places we've seen over the past weeks. But with this trip, it was just about perfect because of the freedom, the van, the company, the way we were able to communicate whenever either of us was down and out. It was the fact that there was no pressure, no stress, no time limit - even though we knew our money would run out, we still managed to get into that frame of mind where time really can stand still. It was the unknown that made it so amazing. When I traveled the West Coast, we had a plan, a tight schedule, that we had to keep following.. and that's why the experience was so different from this trip. Also traveling with just 2 people is so freeing, compared to traveling with 5 people.. We were on the same wavelength when it came to flowing with the moment. We knew each others weaknesses and therefore we knew what to do when we they would become apparent, due to certain situations. He also pushed me, into doing certain things that I would never even have considered doing, 2 or 3 months ago.. He brought out that adventurous side in me, that I sometimes feared I was lacking.. How grateful I am, for this experience..
An amazing journey, and I'm sad that it's ended. I really am. I know I'll miss Jason's company, I'll miss the van, I'll miss the freedom, I'll miss living in the moment and I'll miss the unknown. But, all good things must come to an end, and this next step I'm taking, I need. I have listened and I know what I heard.. "This is the time for me to branch out and be independent again, no matter how hard saying goodbye was.."
"What a trip.."
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
My song
On the journey over, I sat in Singpore Airport, in transit. Looking around while I was chilling out and taking in all the people in such a spotless place that oozed wealth and cleanliness, I was killing time. I switched on my ipod and put it on shuffle, so it radomly selects songs from different albums. I hadn't listened to any music yet whilst being on the road (or in the air).
The first song that it played, was so freakishly meant for me.. It was Nicole Kidman singing one of the songs from the soundtrack of the movie Moulin Rouge.. I'm not too sure of the title, but the chorus goes like this:
"Some day I'll fly away, leave all this to yesterday..
Why live life from dream to dream, and dread the day that dreaming ends.."
As with any chorus, it was repeated over and over again, throughout for 3 to 4 minutes. I couldn't believe the meaning of this song and the fact that my ipod had selected this song, all by itself out of the 500 I have on it, at that moment, when I was acting out the message that song was sending out. What an amazing feeling that gave me: I was in Singapore, I was flying away and I was leaving everything to yesterday. I was not living from one dream to the next, but I was making one particular dream come true. I'll never dread the day that dreaming ends, because living it, is keeping it alive.
I was able to do that, in that very instant and I was able to be so sure that it was going to continue for as long as I truly wanted.
It made me choke-up, but I didn't care. This was my song, this way my dream, this was my flight.. that they were actually calling through the microphone, as it was time to board that plane to Oz..
The first song that it played, was so freakishly meant for me.. It was Nicole Kidman singing one of the songs from the soundtrack of the movie Moulin Rouge.. I'm not too sure of the title, but the chorus goes like this:
"Some day I'll fly away, leave all this to yesterday..
Why live life from dream to dream, and dread the day that dreaming ends.."
As with any chorus, it was repeated over and over again, throughout for 3 to 4 minutes. I couldn't believe the meaning of this song and the fact that my ipod had selected this song, all by itself out of the 500 I have on it, at that moment, when I was acting out the message that song was sending out. What an amazing feeling that gave me: I was in Singapore, I was flying away and I was leaving everything to yesterday. I was not living from one dream to the next, but I was making one particular dream come true. I'll never dread the day that dreaming ends, because living it, is keeping it alive.
I was able to do that, in that very instant and I was able to be so sure that it was going to continue for as long as I truly wanted.
It made me choke-up, but I didn't care. This was my song, this way my dream, this was my flight.. that they were actually calling through the microphone, as it was time to board that plane to Oz..
The start - 1
Finally I'm here.. Finally I'm actually sitting down to start this blog. It's been so long since I set it up. It's been so long since I left Ireland. Feels like forever ago. A different world, a different zone, a different state of mind, everything so so different. So much has happened in such a short space of time, even though I haven't done much at all. That's pretty contradicting.. At the moment, it's Monday afternoon here (had to think there for a minute) and I've been here for 3 days. I sometimes can't quite believe that I made it.
The journey was so crazy but one of the best I've ever had. It started out on Thursday afternoon. As I set off, by myself, after having said goodbye, things were different than I had expected them to be. During the build-up to leaving Ireland, I sometimes felt slightly panicked by the thoughts of having to say goodbye to Ma and the rest so I didn't really want to think about what it would be like having to walk away. On the day itself everything proved so different. The closer the time got, the more at ease I seemed to be. I wasn't dreading the goodbye too much. I knew I had to do it.. I had to leave, this was my time. So that's exactly what I did. I wasn't an emotional mess, I was happy. I wasn't worried about the journey or about what might lie ahead, but I was excited. I felt more stable and independent that I had felt in such a long time. And it was the best feeling ever. It might sound so selfish, that walking away from the 10 of the most difficult months of my life along with all the people who helped me so much, was so easy and so liberating. But sometimes that's just how a person has to be..
We said our goodbyes, yes I was sad, but so happy too. I turned my back and walked away. Did I look back? Of course I did, but only once I was sure that they weren't standing there watching me go through the security gates. They left and I left. We parted on different terms.. some sadness and happiness. The end of something old and the beginning of something new. I walked through the security and that was it.. Me, on my journey, so strong and independent. I was ecstatic. I was overjoyed. I was free.
The skies were grey, the rain was falling and my heart was lifting, as I was leaving behind more than I ever thought I'd encounter.. I had 3 flights in total, the first one was from Dublin to London. This was all very normal and I didn't feel like I was properly on my way. It wasn't until I needed to get to the terminal from which the flight to Singapore would be boarding. That's when I really knew that I was well and truly on my way. I had so many doubts that something was going to go wrong along the way. I was convinced that I wouldn't actually make it anywhere close to Australia. But as soon I felt I was setting off, I knew that I wouldn't go back if anything went wrong but that I'd do what was needed in order to get to where I was heading.
I was in London at around 8 o'clock in the evening. The flight to Singapore was at half 9. So I had enough time to get to terminal 4, by tube. I met a lady from Northern Ireland, who was getting on the same flight as me. She was delighted to bump into somebody that would help her find her way to the boarding gate. Well, it was like we had known each other for ages by the time we were boarding the plane. Everyone was mistaking us for mother and daughter.. The woman with her insane Irish accent was telling all the assistants that we'd only just met and how great it was that I was helping her. So sweet. We had different seats on the plane though, so we said we'd meet each other on the other side, once we got to Singapore.
It was at this stage that I was told I was getting a free upgrade on the plane! I couldn't believe it.. I had booked a premium economy ticket, apparently, and economy class was full, so everyone with a premium ticket was put in Business class.. Well I couldn't believe my luck. At first I felt uncomfortable just knowing that other people had paid thousands to sit in one of those seats, and I had paid nothing extra.. O well, I took what I was given and it was the best flight I've ever been on..especially when you're used to flying Ryan Air.
I ended up being sat beside an Australia woman, who was the nicest person ever and also the first Ozzie I've spoken to since being here last, with the best accent. I just wanted to listen and listen and listen to her speak. We clicked straight away and within 5 minutes we were talking about Gordon Ramsay and Hells Kitchen.. It was so funny. This was after we had been offered champagne by the air hostess. Me and Michelle (the woman beside me) toasted to our journey and chatted like we were old mates. Little did she know, just how much that champagne, that flight and my journey meant to me.
I had to check if the champagne was free all night.. along with all the other alcoholic beverages.. She had to laugh at my naivety.. "yes, the champagne is on demand..".. oops..
We had a 3 course meal, with proper cutlery, plates, glasses, wine..the works.. We had movies, nibbles, blankets, toiletries and a seat that was made into a bed as we were able to lie down flat!! The airhostess knew my name..(she was so sweet.. a little Asian woman).."Is there anything else you would like Miss Keoghan?" I got a fright the first time she said my name. So, all in all, throughout the whole flight, I sat there with this silly grin on my face, which probably made it obvious that I had gotten a free upgrade.. Not to worry though. Because I was ecstatic with being on that plane (even if I hadn't been upgraded, I still would have loved every minute of it), being in the air and just being moved to such different climates. It was an amazing feeling. I think that champagne gave me a massive buzz. So surreal and the pain that that smile on my face was causing..
You'd think that with having so much luxury, sleeping would be easy. Well, it wasn't. I hardly slept at all, which was such a shame. But I had so much adrenaline, I didn't care. We landed in Singapore at around 5 in the afternoon (local time), on Friday. It was 9 in the morning back in Ireland. I didn't see the lovely lady from Northern Ireland once I was in the airport after being hit in the face with the humidity that was seeping through the "tubes" that led us to the terminal. I hadn't prepared myself for that 30 degree heat.. O well, I was in Asia, if only for 3 hours, so nothing really mattered. I would have happily stayed there, being in that culture. It was an amazing feeling..
********
The journey was so crazy but one of the best I've ever had. It started out on Thursday afternoon. As I set off, by myself, after having said goodbye, things were different than I had expected them to be. During the build-up to leaving Ireland, I sometimes felt slightly panicked by the thoughts of having to say goodbye to Ma and the rest so I didn't really want to think about what it would be like having to walk away. On the day itself everything proved so different. The closer the time got, the more at ease I seemed to be. I wasn't dreading the goodbye too much. I knew I had to do it.. I had to leave, this was my time. So that's exactly what I did. I wasn't an emotional mess, I was happy. I wasn't worried about the journey or about what might lie ahead, but I was excited. I felt more stable and independent that I had felt in such a long time. And it was the best feeling ever. It might sound so selfish, that walking away from the 10 of the most difficult months of my life along with all the people who helped me so much, was so easy and so liberating. But sometimes that's just how a person has to be..
We said our goodbyes, yes I was sad, but so happy too. I turned my back and walked away. Did I look back? Of course I did, but only once I was sure that they weren't standing there watching me go through the security gates. They left and I left. We parted on different terms.. some sadness and happiness. The end of something old and the beginning of something new. I walked through the security and that was it.. Me, on my journey, so strong and independent. I was ecstatic. I was overjoyed. I was free.
The skies were grey, the rain was falling and my heart was lifting, as I was leaving behind more than I ever thought I'd encounter.. I had 3 flights in total, the first one was from Dublin to London. This was all very normal and I didn't feel like I was properly on my way. It wasn't until I needed to get to the terminal from which the flight to Singapore would be boarding. That's when I really knew that I was well and truly on my way. I had so many doubts that something was going to go wrong along the way. I was convinced that I wouldn't actually make it anywhere close to Australia. But as soon I felt I was setting off, I knew that I wouldn't go back if anything went wrong but that I'd do what was needed in order to get to where I was heading.
I was in London at around 8 o'clock in the evening. The flight to Singapore was at half 9. So I had enough time to get to terminal 4, by tube. I met a lady from Northern Ireland, who was getting on the same flight as me. She was delighted to bump into somebody that would help her find her way to the boarding gate. Well, it was like we had known each other for ages by the time we were boarding the plane. Everyone was mistaking us for mother and daughter.. The woman with her insane Irish accent was telling all the assistants that we'd only just met and how great it was that I was helping her. So sweet. We had different seats on the plane though, so we said we'd meet each other on the other side, once we got to Singapore.
It was at this stage that I was told I was getting a free upgrade on the plane! I couldn't believe it.. I had booked a premium economy ticket, apparently, and economy class was full, so everyone with a premium ticket was put in Business class.. Well I couldn't believe my luck. At first I felt uncomfortable just knowing that other people had paid thousands to sit in one of those seats, and I had paid nothing extra.. O well, I took what I was given and it was the best flight I've ever been on..especially when you're used to flying Ryan Air.
I ended up being sat beside an Australia woman, who was the nicest person ever and also the first Ozzie I've spoken to since being here last, with the best accent. I just wanted to listen and listen and listen to her speak. We clicked straight away and within 5 minutes we were talking about Gordon Ramsay and Hells Kitchen.. It was so funny. This was after we had been offered champagne by the air hostess. Me and Michelle (the woman beside me) toasted to our journey and chatted like we were old mates. Little did she know, just how much that champagne, that flight and my journey meant to me.
I had to check if the champagne was free all night.. along with all the other alcoholic beverages.. She had to laugh at my naivety.. "yes, the champagne is on demand..".. oops..
We had a 3 course meal, with proper cutlery, plates, glasses, wine..the works.. We had movies, nibbles, blankets, toiletries and a seat that was made into a bed as we were able to lie down flat!! The airhostess knew my name..(she was so sweet.. a little Asian woman).."Is there anything else you would like Miss Keoghan?" I got a fright the first time she said my name. So, all in all, throughout the whole flight, I sat there with this silly grin on my face, which probably made it obvious that I had gotten a free upgrade.. Not to worry though. Because I was ecstatic with being on that plane (even if I hadn't been upgraded, I still would have loved every minute of it), being in the air and just being moved to such different climates. It was an amazing feeling. I think that champagne gave me a massive buzz. So surreal and the pain that that smile on my face was causing..
You'd think that with having so much luxury, sleeping would be easy. Well, it wasn't. I hardly slept at all, which was such a shame. But I had so much adrenaline, I didn't care. We landed in Singapore at around 5 in the afternoon (local time), on Friday. It was 9 in the morning back in Ireland. I didn't see the lovely lady from Northern Ireland once I was in the airport after being hit in the face with the humidity that was seeping through the "tubes" that led us to the terminal. I hadn't prepared myself for that 30 degree heat.. O well, I was in Asia, if only for 3 hours, so nothing really mattered. I would have happily stayed there, being in that culture. It was an amazing feeling..
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