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Tuesday, December 1, 2009

In transition

Sitting at the airport.. Melbourne Airport to be exact. It's 10.56 am on the 1st of December. It's a Tuesday morning and it feels like I've been on the go for hours already. In a way, I suppose I have been. This morning I woke up at 04.30am, by the beach. Jason brought me to the Adelaide Airport, and my flight was due to leave at 06.50am. It was hectic, it was manic, it was packed and I very nearly missed the flight..

In some ways I'm glad of this, because then I didn't have to think too much about saying goodbye to Jason. It was short but sweet. I'll be coming back on the 27th of December and will be spending more precious time with him. We both don't know for how long or what either of our plans will be once the new year sets in, but we don't need to think that far ahead yet. First things first.. Niamh is leaving Oz for a month and flying to Malaysia.

I'm waiting for my flight, as I sit here right now. And I'm in transition. Not only physically but also mentally. That's the thing that always seems to happen to me when I'm in airports. I love them so much, because with every flight I take, I seem to be ending one chapter and starting another.. I always have hours to kill at the airport, just like most travellers, and if I don't have hours to kill I make sure I do by arriving too early.. I enjoy these periodes of transition so much. It's like I'm right in the middle of 2 chapters of my adventure. And whilst killing time, I think back over the chapter that's just closing and give it a place in my heart by learning from it, no matter what that chapter has thrown at me and no matter what realizations I have come to make. Once I've given that chapter a special place, I gear myself up for the next chapter. I almost mentally prepare myself for the unknown and try to find stability and security within myself, as I won't be having it anywhere else until the unknown is embraced as fully as possible and can be called the "known" in my eyes.

Leaving a place a security and certainty and stability, can be such a big step. But as I find the time and become aware that I'm now in transition, I can feel that leaving a secure and familiar environment doesn't and won't effect me in any way. Because having that feeling within yourself means that you can always go into the unknown knowing that everything that happens and comes your way doesn't have to be scary.. It's a beautiful and it's a part of learning and growing. And that's the place I'm reaching to right now. I don't feel uneasy or anxious or scared. I feel stable and in control. Whatever comes my way over the next month, will be for a reason. If it doens't turn out like I hope it will, nothing will be lost but there will always be something gained. I have no expectations as to how it will turn out, therefore nothing will be better or worse than it should be. It will be amazing no matter what..

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