After many days of job searching and walking the streets of Cairns, which have suddenly become so small, predictable and familiar as the same faces, the same workers and the same travellers are sighted, an opportunity finally came along which I seriously had to consider. But it was an offer slightly different than I expected.
It's Thursday morning, the 20th of August. Last week Monday I got a phone call from Jason, as I was distributing my resume, yet again. He said that he had been offered a job in Shepperton, Victoria. He needed a worker from the 24th of August. He instantly thought of me, as I was still jobless. The thought excited me initially, of working for him again. As well as being fun, it would also be familiar as I had done the same job nearly 3 years ago, which was tree-tieing. Back then I claimed that it was one of the hardest jobs I had done in my life, in the physical sense. So this put me off. But Jason reassured me that it wouldn't be half as hard going as it was "all those years ago". I didn't say yes or no. I let the idea sit with me and still carried on jobhunting here in Cairns. So on I went for a few more days, not wanting to "fail".
Everyone knows how disheartening it can be, when you distribute 50 or more cv's and you don't receive 1 phonecall.. Well, that's how my status was starting to look, at one stage. I was also starting to panic, after hearing stories about how people are deciding to go back home because of being out of work and money. I was doing my own head in. I was just so determined to get a job here and it was what I had been focusing on. As I was weighing up the odds, I started to see myself as very lucky because of the job opportunity I had, which a lot travellers would give anything for.
Last week I wasn't really trying as hard as I had been trying anymore. I felt that it just wasn't going to happen, as my heart wasn't in it anymore. I knew that it was pointless in putting all this effort into looking for a job here, which could possibly turn out to be not at all what I had expected or hoped for it to be. I started to realize that by working with Jason, I'd at least know what I'm getting myself into. I'd be earning relatively good money, I'd be doing something I'd done before, it wouldn't be too hardgoing, I get along with my boss - which is Jason ;) - and he knows how much physical work I'm able for.
This is me being the indecisive person I've always been. Especially when it comes to such a decision. But finally, after a lot of humming and hahing I was able to make a decision. I decided to go for it. I booked a flight to Melbourne and there was no turning back.
Since booking the flight, I've been feeling so much more settled again. I don't have to worry anymore. I know where I'm going and I know what I want. And I can see that it's time to move on. I don't feel bad for not finding a job here, but as I said, I feel lucky that I have this chance. Cairns was starting to become a place I was dreading to step foot into each morning, because of the hunt. I didn't it to become that kind of a place in my head. So this week has been one where I've started to look at the city as a holiday place, a place of "transition", a place I had to come to in order to try my hand at living in the tropics. It was something I needed and I'm glad of this experience. So up until I leave, I'll been hanging out and trying to spend as much time with Janice and Cora as possible.. We've been having bbq's, watching dvds, sunbathing, meeting lots of different people and we still have a few more nights of partying to do, before we go our separate ways.
So for now, I'm a tourist, until the work starts..