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Thursday, February 21, 2013

Great Expectations

Life simply continues, after a tv appearance…

After feeling a wave of adrenaline for a few hours and a bout of panic that followed the initial off-air rush of life, I felt calm and confident that I’d done the right thing, by exposing myself so completely. As well I felt lucky to have had that short appearance. I know it happened mainly due to my publisher Lorraine. I wouldn’t have had this opportunity if she hadn’t been so persistent in contacting the tv-stations. Her persistence hasn’t only paid-off in getting me on the television but also in getting the book to as many distributors and retailers as possible. And for things to be taking off, she deserves so much credit and my endless gratitude. Thanks Lorraine… You’re a gem! Hard work and patience really DOES pay off!

Since I started writing so openly, nearly 5 years ago, I’ve claimed my life is an open book. I’ve always said that everyone is welcome to take a glance. I’ll open my heart and bare my soul to the world, if I get the chance. In my exposure and soul-baring writing, I realize I’ve not only been teaching myself but alongside that, I’ve unknowingly been setting an example. And this really only came to light after I appeared on tv.

It’s probably naïve of me to not have fully been aware that my writing has put me ‘up there’ as an inspiration to others. I say this, not from an egotistical perspective, but from a real perspective (I never started exposing myself in order to feel better than anyone else – instead for the intention of sharing and inspiring). And I can safely say, again NOT from an egotistical perspective, that it’s time for me to start recognizing that I CAN be an inspiration and therefore WILL remain in the light of life.

After being on television, I see how I’ve placed quite some expectations on myself. If others look to me as an inspiration, then I have to live as being that. But I don’t need to TRY to be that inspiration. So far, I’ve never pushed for this to happen. It’s simply how things have evolved. Therefore I don’t need to stress or push that I’m NOT living up the standard I’ve set for myself. I can trust that by simply being me, I’m doing what I can and sharing what I know. And any expectations that have been placed on me, by having exposed myself, are expectations that require me to simply continue healing what needs to be healed, learning what needs to be learned, speaking what needs to be spoken, writing what needs to be written.

The expectation is in the message and the message is HEALING and TRUTH. I trust myself enough that I’ll stand by what I speak and write and I’ll be an example. It’s safe to say, I’ve come so far, to trust that I CAN and WILL do everything in my power to stand by the truth that I’ve exposed, over these past 6 months, since launching the book. This is a huge step-up when taking my own healing process into account.

I’ve said this many times before and will say it again today: life really is a journey. I see now, clearer than ever before, how we’re all at different stages of evolution. Some of us have experienced more than others, learned more than others, seen more than others. However, it doesn’t mean we’re better or worse. It simply means we’re all at different stages, exposed to different circumstances. Yet we’re making this journey together. We’re all here to help each other along. We stretch our hands out to those behind us, so they can step easier to the next stage, just as those in front offer us a helping hand so we can lean temporarily and move onwards to even brighter platforms.

I’ve taken steps others are now finding the courage to take and I can offer a helping hand. That helping hand shows itself as my light and my words – either spoken or written. I can show how far I’ve since come and will continue to share how far I’ll still go as I express my journey that takes place in the light. Only that way can I ignite a spark in the darkness that others might be experiencing.

I know, in my heart, that I’m on the path leading towards living a free life whilst shining bright in the light of day, regardless of time, space and circumstance – not for wanting to be better than anybody else, but to feel in my heart, that I can be freer than I already am and then excel at what I’m doing if free is how I remain.

There aren’t any guarantees in life. We don’t know what the next stages will bring. All we can do is trust in our inner power and strength that keeps us alive, free and flowing through situations and experiences.

Bringing this back to the present day… I’m unknowing as to how things will unfold. But I’m trusting in the power of purpose and I’m taking it one step at a time.

I’ve been in Arklow 3 weeks now and I’m more connected to the world around me. I’m grounding myself and realizing I need to keep focussing on being HERE. I’m living more IN my body and stepping out of my head. I’m letting my heart open up to the world around me. And my god… how I’ve missed the connection! It’s already leading me onwards to where I need to be.

So it’s happy days… here in Ireland’s approaching springtime! A sure sign of new life, new times, new energy and new opportunities. What an amazing ride…

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