The festival continued, and one day rolled into the next. I felt like I had found a new home. I had found my people. I had found a lifestyle I wanted. I had found people who could teach me the things I wanted my life to revolve around. There were people who were so worldly, yet so content with the bare essentials in life. They knew the difference between the materialistic world and the world were primitive life offers so much peace, harmony and bliss. They had experienced, learnt and seen so much to know that the basics is all we need in life and true souls are what give us that feeling of being so happy, just by being alive. It was truly amazing to feel this.
I came across some of the most beautiful people, who I connected with instantly. People I had never seen before, but felt drawn to. I met people who saw me for who I am. Strangers who would give me a hug and tell me I’m beautiful. Strangers who would give me one look, one proper look, deep into my eyes and see what I had been connecting with throughout the past year. My spirit, my soul. They could see it. I was so sure.
Every morning I would wake up in the van, jump out of bed, and go to meditation classes and then to yoga. Then I would walk around the grounds (which would take easily a few hours) with my writing book under my arm, taking in the peace. I would sit for hours and write whatever it was I was wanting to write about. Or, more to the point, about what I was dealing with at that moment, and thus what I was dealing with throughout the entire festival: the big “mystery” regarding my next move in this wonderful life. I was dealing a change of heart, when it came to being with Jason. I was dealing with what I was faced with each day at Confest - which was the beautiful inspiration to evolve so much more than I already was and to start touching the lives of people who need it, by just being in-tune and connected. I was learning so much and the inspiration I got from the people I was meeting, was overwhelming. I was almost bursting at the seams, just from being alive.. Wouw! All the while, dealing with breaking away from the chapter of my travels I spent with Jason, ever so slowly and ever so gently. So some heartbreak along side an enormous amount of joy. Such a contrast, such a difference. But Confest really was the best place for Jason and I to deal with what was going on. As I had so much strength and was so connected to what it was I was wanting from life and I was able to stay in my own truth. This is what I needed.
It was a week with many different emotions. I was trying to focus on so many different things and trying to cope with the paradox within myself. I had hours each day, where I wanted this life to be mine. I felt like I needed to learn more and this place was bringing that eagerness to evolve to the surface. So much so, that I also realized my eagerness to evolve was being either put on pause or prolonged because of me wanting and “needing” to do the right thing by the people close to me. Throughout the week, I realized I had forgotten so many things, in the haste of life or maybe in the confusion of trying to be happy being in the position I had put myself in over the past months. So many things I knew all along and had worked so hard on learning and developing since before coming to Oz, I had pushed to one side. But Confest made me see them all once more. It probably wasn’t here at Confest where they first started to reappear, but on my trip in Asia too. It just became all the more apparent in this environment as well as through the people I was meeting. I couldn’t and, more importantly, I didn’t want to ignore them any longer. I knew that I didn’t want to put those special things to one side anymore.
No matter how busy life were to get or how many worries I could bring on myself, throughout my week at Confest it became so clear that I needed to be, I almost daren’t say it, selfish. There’s a time for giving all that you can in life, in order to do right by others. There’s a time to show appreciation and to show gratitude. But if showing this appreciation and gratitude means that you forget all that want from life and all that you know in your heart to be true, then won’t there come a point when you say: I can only go so far, this is it, this is me, this is all I have to give. Doesn’t there come a point when you say: here is where I have to stop giving because I’m taking too much from myself by trying to do the right thing in other peoples eyes whilst being aware you’re doing so wrong in your own eyes. To be selfless and therefore to give to others, a person also needs to be selfish. How can you give to others wholeheartedly when you haven’t been giving to yourself, wholeheartedly?
This was probably my main issue, my main lesson. I was confronted with all that I knew. So I wasn’t shocked. I wasn’t scared. I was relieved. I was free. I was bursting with love for life. I had energy. I had given myself the confirmation I needed. So I knew what I had to do. I was so strong, because I had witnessed it all, everything on the inside, as I was sat with a guy called Sam who showed me or simply confirmed what I already believed to be true. I have it all within me. I’m the only one who can do something with it, so it’s also up to me to take action and to make things happen, with confidence and self esteem.
This lesson started on the 1st of Jan 2010. What a revelation and what an amazing gift..
How blessed I felt..
I know this reflection has run somewhat deeper than I expected. But I can’t really apologize for that. I needed to share it. And Confest so much more than a hippy festival where people love to take their clothes off and jump in the mud. It’s an environment where people, if they are open and willing to learn, are confronted with the core. It can be life changing, or in my case, it can be the confirmation that’s needed in order pursue the dreams that can be made reality.
I’m so so grateful for having gone to this festival. It was emotional, it was eye-opening, it was painful at times, when dealing with reality, but it was so amazingly beautiful all the same. Really it was. I’ll never forget it and who knows one day I’ll go back or I’ll my paths with cross with some of the special people I met there. But either way, it’s filled me up and, as I’m trying to contain my excitement as I type these last few words - so I‘ll put it very subtly, I’m ready to share all that I have seen. You can take that whatever way you please J..
Love you all lots, Thank you for reading and just simply for being you xxx
Showing posts with label Confest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Confest. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Nudity - At Confest
The topic I would love to shine a little light on, regarding Confest, is one can’t be ignored and one that can be pretty confronting or daunting for some. When I speak about the hippy style of living, I should also refer to what is so natural and so earthly, is nudity. There was quite a lot of it, if you compare it to the amount of nudity you would come across when going about your daily routine or just simply being in this busy life. However the majority of the people did wear clothes, but probably 300 people were nude all the time. With so many events, there were also quite a few where being naked was required. This was, at first quite a challenge I must say. But I didn’t shy away. Listen as the story evolves.
From day 1 we were camping with the organizers of the "naked bikeriders". These were 2 guys, Marty and Micheal, who have been organizing bikerides in the nude for years now, and 2 times a year they "strut their stuff" at Confest. So they go around the grounds of Confest and everyone participating in the "bike tour" has to be nude. How much fun!! Besides camping with Marty and Micheal, there was also a friend of theirs, Mariah (for America) and Marty's son, Oscar. We formed one big happy (hippy) family after the first day, which was great. But to stay on the subject I was aiming for: Micheal was a proper nudist. Naked 24 hours a day, for nearly the whole 9 days (except at nights when it got chilly and he had to put on some clothes, much to his disappointment I might add..haha).
My first impressions on arriving at Confest and we setting up camp with 2 naked guys, was probably good for me. That way, I was faced head-on with the extremists of the festival go-ers and so nothing would startle me. Not even when Micheal caught me off-guard, hugged me as I was resisting to tendency to look down.. This hug made me let go of my paranoia, I got over it and pretty fast too! What a great guy!
So, after this introduction, did I decide to go nude? Yes I did! To swim, to have mud baths. This is when you get covered in mud from head to toe and then lie in the sun waiting for the mud to dry, to then jump in the river and wash it all off, in the hope of having cleansed your skin and detoxed yourself of all the toxins from the inside out or to discover - in my case - that natures mud really only dried my already dry and sun-beaten white skin. Hummm. Not to worry. The others times I got my gear off was to shower in full view of everyone -I might add that the showers were worse than the showers I came across in Thailand - they were hoses hanging off random trees in and around the gum trees providing cold water only.. It wasn’t the first time though for me to shower like this. So all was so so well!
To backtrack and tell about the first time I got naked out in the open; It was on a random evening with our fellow-camper, I mentioned earlier on, Mariah. The two of us were in a crazy mood and went off cycling around the grounds of Confest. We started out just innocently going for a ride. But softly we started to sing and chant. Soon this evolved into us howling like wild animals, singing like madwomen and chanting our mantra’s. There was a storm brewing at the same time and it was also around dusk. The atmosphere inspired us to go a little bit more naturally insane. The sky was amazing and the feeling in the air was one of so much relief, after the sun having beaten down on the Confest site for hours on end. We were feeling so liberated, as we continued to chant. All the while the storm got closer and closer and the sky grew darker and darker and the black clouds approached as the sun started to set. We hopped off our bikes, took off our clothes, jumped in the river, swam to the other side and climbed up on to the riverbank. This led us into a field where we danced, and sang and howled. We hopped and skipped and jumped, with bare feet and bare bums.. It was a feeling of freedom, never to have experienced before. This feeling grew even more when our chanting and howling caught on to other crazy folk who sat by the riverside, not judging or being critical of us letting ourselves go so spontaneously. They heard our singing, joined in and our voices got louder and louder as we were trying to compensate for the noise both the wind and the fresh raindrops were making. Mother nature tried to drowned out our howling but we were louder. We weren’t beaten by the forces.. It really was amazing..
The sun had then disappeared and the warm raindrops started to fall and refresh our skin, so we jumped back into the river, swam across and continued spreading our madness across the festival. The howling and chanting continued with our bodies covered up again. Then we created some more mayhem, at the market place: People were sheltered from the rain, but Mariah and I weren't. We were still on such a high, and knew we could spread it and let the other Confesters feel the same sense of freedom we were experiencing at that moment. We stood in the middle of what could be called a "square" and got everyone together, through singing and dancing. We awaited the storm to get more intense and we wanted the rain to fall heavier from the sky. We wished for thunder and lightning. And it happened! With that storm, the excitement grew and grew and people were loving it. We were on such a high, and so was everyone else. Mariah and I had made our point by this stage, our presence had been felt and we had left our mark. So on the high we were still feeling, we hopped back on our bikes and cycled to camp through the storm, feeling absolutely amazing, and satisfyingly exhausted.
This experience was one of the highlights I reckon. And it gave me the confidence to get my clothes off, anywhere at anytime.. Only at Confest of course.. Don’t worry, I haven’t become a nudist suddenly, after having had this experience. It’s just a feeling of being totally comfortable and confident in my own skin. There is no shame.. As we are all the same!!
From day 1 we were camping with the organizers of the "naked bikeriders". These were 2 guys, Marty and Micheal, who have been organizing bikerides in the nude for years now, and 2 times a year they "strut their stuff" at Confest. So they go around the grounds of Confest and everyone participating in the "bike tour" has to be nude. How much fun!! Besides camping with Marty and Micheal, there was also a friend of theirs, Mariah (for America) and Marty's son, Oscar. We formed one big happy (hippy) family after the first day, which was great. But to stay on the subject I was aiming for: Micheal was a proper nudist. Naked 24 hours a day, for nearly the whole 9 days (except at nights when it got chilly and he had to put on some clothes, much to his disappointment I might add..haha).
My first impressions on arriving at Confest and we setting up camp with 2 naked guys, was probably good for me. That way, I was faced head-on with the extremists of the festival go-ers and so nothing would startle me. Not even when Micheal caught me off-guard, hugged me as I was resisting to tendency to look down.. This hug made me let go of my paranoia, I got over it and pretty fast too! What a great guy!
So, after this introduction, did I decide to go nude? Yes I did! To swim, to have mud baths. This is when you get covered in mud from head to toe and then lie in the sun waiting for the mud to dry, to then jump in the river and wash it all off, in the hope of having cleansed your skin and detoxed yourself of all the toxins from the inside out or to discover - in my case - that natures mud really only dried my already dry and sun-beaten white skin. Hummm. Not to worry. The others times I got my gear off was to shower in full view of everyone -I might add that the showers were worse than the showers I came across in Thailand - they were hoses hanging off random trees in and around the gum trees providing cold water only.. It wasn’t the first time though for me to shower like this. So all was so so well!
To backtrack and tell about the first time I got naked out in the open; It was on a random evening with our fellow-camper, I mentioned earlier on, Mariah. The two of us were in a crazy mood and went off cycling around the grounds of Confest. We started out just innocently going for a ride. But softly we started to sing and chant. Soon this evolved into us howling like wild animals, singing like madwomen and chanting our mantra’s. There was a storm brewing at the same time and it was also around dusk. The atmosphere inspired us to go a little bit more naturally insane. The sky was amazing and the feeling in the air was one of so much relief, after the sun having beaten down on the Confest site for hours on end. We were feeling so liberated, as we continued to chant. All the while the storm got closer and closer and the sky grew darker and darker and the black clouds approached as the sun started to set. We hopped off our bikes, took off our clothes, jumped in the river, swam to the other side and climbed up on to the riverbank. This led us into a field where we danced, and sang and howled. We hopped and skipped and jumped, with bare feet and bare bums.. It was a feeling of freedom, never to have experienced before. This feeling grew even more when our chanting and howling caught on to other crazy folk who sat by the riverside, not judging or being critical of us letting ourselves go so spontaneously. They heard our singing, joined in and our voices got louder and louder as we were trying to compensate for the noise both the wind and the fresh raindrops were making. Mother nature tried to drowned out our howling but we were louder. We weren’t beaten by the forces.. It really was amazing..
The sun had then disappeared and the warm raindrops started to fall and refresh our skin, so we jumped back into the river, swam across and continued spreading our madness across the festival. The howling and chanting continued with our bodies covered up again. Then we created some more mayhem, at the market place: People were sheltered from the rain, but Mariah and I weren't. We were still on such a high, and knew we could spread it and let the other Confesters feel the same sense of freedom we were experiencing at that moment. We stood in the middle of what could be called a "square" and got everyone together, through singing and dancing. We awaited the storm to get more intense and we wanted the rain to fall heavier from the sky. We wished for thunder and lightning. And it happened! With that storm, the excitement grew and grew and people were loving it. We were on such a high, and so was everyone else. Mariah and I had made our point by this stage, our presence had been felt and we had left our mark. So on the high we were still feeling, we hopped back on our bikes and cycled to camp through the storm, feeling absolutely amazing, and satisfyingly exhausted.
This experience was one of the highlights I reckon. And it gave me the confidence to get my clothes off, anywhere at anytime.. Only at Confest of course.. Don’t worry, I haven’t become a nudist suddenly, after having had this experience. It’s just a feeling of being totally comfortable and confident in my own skin. There is no shame.. As we are all the same!!
My reason for staying - At Confest
My first workshop I went to, was called: the spontaneous choir. I’m not a singer. I can’t hold a note. So I was a little reluctant to give it a go. But it wasn’t actual singing, I soon realized. It was more bonding with the whole group, through chanting, sounds and humming. Then the workshop took an interesting turn.. And we were bonding is a different manner.
This is how it went:
Imagine having your eyes shut, and walking in a “train-line” of people: your arms stretched-out before you, holding on to the person who walks in front of you. The train is going at a snails pace, but it is guiding you. The leader of the train is guiding the train through a tunnel of people. There are 200 people in total. All happy and fulfilled and open to new experiences. As the train continues, as your eyes remain closed, as you hold on to the person in front of you, you pass by the people who are creating the tunnel, the people who are creating the guidance for the leader of the train.. As this is happening, each individual that is creating the tunnel is doing what they have been told to do by the leader of the train. They have been told to put their hand on the shoulder of every person who is participating in this train, as they walk by ever so slowly, and to tell them: “I love you“, or “you’re wonderful“, or “you’re amazing“. So as each person who takes part in this train, receives a hand on their shoulder and a whisper is their ear from every person who is forming the tunnel through which the train is passing. The train is moving slowly but constantly. There are 200 people to pass by. Your eyes are still shut. And because the train is moving, the hands you feel on your shoulders and the amount of times you hear the words: I love you.. Seems to be countless and it’s consistent. The words and the feel of the hands, are endless. They keep on coming.
The people forming the tunnel can witness what receiving this “love and affection” from 200 complete strangers in such a short amount of time, does. They can witness how they are growing in confidence, they can see the joy they are feeling, from being told how much they are loved and how wonderful they are. And the people in the train are feeling exactly that. They feel they are truly loved, they are growing 2 feet taller because of this and they feel so special. For them the eyes are shut, which makes the sound of “I love you” and the touch of the strangers hand with their shoulder all the more intense. It hits home and those in the train are all the more blessed.
This experience for me, was truly amazing. I participated in both the train and I formed part of the tunnel. First I was in the train. I was overwhelmed. My eyes were shut, I hadn’t a clue where the train was leading. But this didn’t matter. All I was aware of, were the voices, the many different accents and more often than not, I was aware of the sincerity of each gesture. With every person who said: “I love you”, my smile grew bigger and bigger to the point of
being sore. I had no other way of expressing my happiness, only through my aching cheeks. I thought I was going to burst. But I still had so many more people to pass by, that I had to contain myself. And this is when I went beyond. I was taken away from the “scene of the crime”, I was brought to a place of peace. I was almost in a trance. I was being filled with this energy, this amazement, this beauty. It was so so intense, because I truly believed and therefore felt - if this is me being naive, I really don’t mind, it was so probably because of my naivety that this experience felt so amazing - like all these strangers really meant what they were saying. And no matter how low or high your confidence is, it’s a lot to take on when 200 people tell you how amazing, how beautiful and how loved you are, all in the space of 15 minutes. Overwhelmed I was.. once more.
Afterwards I was flying. This was on the first day of the festival. That’s when I knew I had to stay to feel some more of this love.. I had to feel so much more of what that “tunnel of love” had just made me feel. Dire Straights’ song, “The Tunnel of Love” now suddenly has taken on a different meaning for me! How beautiful!
For any of you who are getting bored, with all my enthusiastic talk about peace and love, I understand. You can tune out. But for those of you who like to read about nudity at Confest, check in for some reading..
This is how it went:
Imagine having your eyes shut, and walking in a “train-line” of people: your arms stretched-out before you, holding on to the person who walks in front of you. The train is going at a snails pace, but it is guiding you. The leader of the train is guiding the train through a tunnel of people. There are 200 people in total. All happy and fulfilled and open to new experiences. As the train continues, as your eyes remain closed, as you hold on to the person in front of you, you pass by the people who are creating the tunnel, the people who are creating the guidance for the leader of the train.. As this is happening, each individual that is creating the tunnel is doing what they have been told to do by the leader of the train. They have been told to put their hand on the shoulder of every person who is participating in this train, as they walk by ever so slowly, and to tell them: “I love you“, or “you’re wonderful“, or “you’re amazing“. So as each person who takes part in this train, receives a hand on their shoulder and a whisper is their ear from every person who is forming the tunnel through which the train is passing. The train is moving slowly but constantly. There are 200 people to pass by. Your eyes are still shut. And because the train is moving, the hands you feel on your shoulders and the amount of times you hear the words: I love you.. Seems to be countless and it’s consistent. The words and the feel of the hands, are endless. They keep on coming.
The people forming the tunnel can witness what receiving this “love and affection” from 200 complete strangers in such a short amount of time, does. They can witness how they are growing in confidence, they can see the joy they are feeling, from being told how much they are loved and how wonderful they are. And the people in the train are feeling exactly that. They feel they are truly loved, they are growing 2 feet taller because of this and they feel so special. For them the eyes are shut, which makes the sound of “I love you” and the touch of the strangers hand with their shoulder all the more intense. It hits home and those in the train are all the more blessed.
This experience for me, was truly amazing. I participated in both the train and I formed part of the tunnel. First I was in the train. I was overwhelmed. My eyes were shut, I hadn’t a clue where the train was leading. But this didn’t matter. All I was aware of, were the voices, the many different accents and more often than not, I was aware of the sincerity of each gesture. With every person who said: “I love you”, my smile grew bigger and bigger to the point of
being sore. I had no other way of expressing my happiness, only through my aching cheeks. I thought I was going to burst. But I still had so many more people to pass by, that I had to contain myself. And this is when I went beyond. I was taken away from the “scene of the crime”, I was brought to a place of peace. I was almost in a trance. I was being filled with this energy, this amazement, this beauty. It was so so intense, because I truly believed and therefore felt - if this is me being naive, I really don’t mind, it was so probably because of my naivety that this experience felt so amazing - like all these strangers really meant what they were saying. And no matter how low or high your confidence is, it’s a lot to take on when 200 people tell you how amazing, how beautiful and how loved you are, all in the space of 15 minutes. Overwhelmed I was.. once more.
Afterwards I was flying. This was on the first day of the festival. That’s when I knew I had to stay to feel some more of this love.. I had to feel so much more of what that “tunnel of love” had just made me feel. Dire Straights’ song, “The Tunnel of Love” now suddenly has taken on a different meaning for me! How beautiful!
For any of you who are getting bored, with all my enthusiastic talk about peace and love, I understand. You can tune out. But for those of you who like to read about nudity at Confest, check in for some reading..
Workshops Galore - At Confest
The spirit was awakened in me.. Well and truly.
With so much harmony, peace and love, there wasn’t any need or desire for loud music. Anything amplified was very much frowned upon. There weren't any concerts either. So how was the spirit spread and what were we all doing, throughout 9 full days of bliss? Well, everyday there were workshops on offer. These were in the form of lessons, teachings, meetings, discussions and gatherings. Everyone was free to participate in any event they wanted. No experience was required, no knowledge was asked for.. Just an openness to learning and growing. (All these events were for free by the way, we only had to pay 70dollars (45euro) to enter the grounds on the morning of the 29th..and that was it for 9 days! I couldn't believe it!)
Throughout the week, I felt like I was in a school. It was amazing. The workshops and events were all spiritually oriented. For instance there were meditation and yoga classes, reiki lessons, chakra healings, massage classes, hypnotherapy, rune-card readings, lessons on crystals and their purpose, belly dancing, music lessons, chanting, meditative singing, intuitive healing, story telling, self defence classes... and so much more. Can you imagine how much I wanted to do every single event? Can you imagine how excited I was by the absolutely everything! I was so overwhelmed. I wanted to know everything there was to know about ALL OF THESE THINGS! But, there were only so many hours in a day.. And our main reason for going to Confest, was for Jason and I to spend proper time together.. So I had to stay calm, collected and just do those things I really wanted to..
Besides these workshops, there were drumming sessions on every night, until the early hours of the morning. There was body painting, art sessions, poetry readings (I actually got up in front of 15 people and read some of my poems - which was nerve wrecking but uplifting too, especially afterwards when people came up to me telling me how much they loved it and wanted to hear more.. I then became known as the “poet” at Confest, that was so special!). There was also a bush sauna, a bush mud bath and a silent disco.
This, I have to share more of with you. This silent disco was so crazy. I’d never heard or seen anything like this before. Why and how was it silent? Well, because it’s such a tranquil festival, amplified music is banned. So for those who love their trance and techno, there was a room where you could “retreat” with a set of headphones. Through these headphones you could choose to listen to 3 different channels, all with different styles of dance music! Can you imagine what it looks like when you walk in?: The room is silent, there are around 10 people on the “dance floor“(which is just dirt by the way.. not even soft sand), everybody is in their own little world, with head phones on, dancing their hearts out with their eyes shut so they can take themselves away to the nightclub in whatever part of the world they wish themselves to be, whilst imagining the crowds of dancing maniacs and laser beams. The atmosphere of the nightclub was all in the mind. Because the only way for the silent disco to work and serve it’s purpose was if you were to let yourself be taken away by your own imagination and thus the power of mind. You had to let yourself be transported to another place in order to become one with the music. Once you took the headphones off: it all stopped. You stepped out of the nightclub and back into the bush, back into the world of Confest. All was silent again, except for the drumming sessions that could be heard off in the distance. Well, this was me anyhow and how I experienced it. What a natural trip this was!
There's some more to come ..xx
With so much harmony, peace and love, there wasn’t any need or desire for loud music. Anything amplified was very much frowned upon. There weren't any concerts either. So how was the spirit spread and what were we all doing, throughout 9 full days of bliss? Well, everyday there were workshops on offer. These were in the form of lessons, teachings, meetings, discussions and gatherings. Everyone was free to participate in any event they wanted. No experience was required, no knowledge was asked for.. Just an openness to learning and growing. (All these events were for free by the way, we only had to pay 70dollars (45euro) to enter the grounds on the morning of the 29th..and that was it for 9 days! I couldn't believe it!)
Throughout the week, I felt like I was in a school. It was amazing. The workshops and events were all spiritually oriented. For instance there were meditation and yoga classes, reiki lessons, chakra healings, massage classes, hypnotherapy, rune-card readings, lessons on crystals and their purpose, belly dancing, music lessons, chanting, meditative singing, intuitive healing, story telling, self defence classes... and so much more. Can you imagine how much I wanted to do every single event? Can you imagine how excited I was by the absolutely everything! I was so overwhelmed. I wanted to know everything there was to know about ALL OF THESE THINGS! But, there were only so many hours in a day.. And our main reason for going to Confest, was for Jason and I to spend proper time together.. So I had to stay calm, collected and just do those things I really wanted to..
Besides these workshops, there were drumming sessions on every night, until the early hours of the morning. There was body painting, art sessions, poetry readings (I actually got up in front of 15 people and read some of my poems - which was nerve wrecking but uplifting too, especially afterwards when people came up to me telling me how much they loved it and wanted to hear more.. I then became known as the “poet” at Confest, that was so special!). There was also a bush sauna, a bush mud bath and a silent disco.
This, I have to share more of with you. This silent disco was so crazy. I’d never heard or seen anything like this before. Why and how was it silent? Well, because it’s such a tranquil festival, amplified music is banned. So for those who love their trance and techno, there was a room where you could “retreat” with a set of headphones. Through these headphones you could choose to listen to 3 different channels, all with different styles of dance music! Can you imagine what it looks like when you walk in?: The room is silent, there are around 10 people on the “dance floor“(which is just dirt by the way.. not even soft sand), everybody is in their own little world, with head phones on, dancing their hearts out with their eyes shut so they can take themselves away to the nightclub in whatever part of the world they wish themselves to be, whilst imagining the crowds of dancing maniacs and laser beams. The atmosphere of the nightclub was all in the mind. Because the only way for the silent disco to work and serve it’s purpose was if you were to let yourself be taken away by your own imagination and thus the power of mind. You had to let yourself be transported to another place in order to become one with the music. Once you took the headphones off: it all stopped. You stepped out of the nightclub and back into the bush, back into the world of Confest. All was silent again, except for the drumming sessions that could be heard off in the distance. Well, this was me anyhow and how I experienced it. What a natural trip this was!
There's some more to come ..xx
From the beginning - At Confest
A word of warning!!!
The next 5 posts (!!!!) are about my amazing week at Confest. I couldn’t stop myself as I was reflecting on how that week went, what it gave me, what I did and what I learnt. It was a place and a week that inspired me so much, I felt I had to put them in writing. I hadn’t intended on writing so much but I really wanted to share this with you. So what am I warning you for? Most of what I’m about to write, is about love, peace, harmony.. and the words “beautiful“, “amazing” and “experiences” are words I’ve used far too frequently, but I had no other way of expressing how “beautiful” and “amazing” these “experiences” were.. ;)
From the beginning - At Confest
To CONFEST is where I went, on the 29th December. With Jason. A last minute decision. I hadn't a clue what to expect from this festival, I knew it was going to be running for 9 days, but didn't plan on staying for the whole duration. Not until the first day was over. That's when I realized how amazing the place was, how unique this festival was going to be, how much it could offer me and how lucky I was to be given the chance to experience being in such a special place. So, we decided to stay for the whole 9 days..
BUT, this led me to being disconnected from the world. As the festival was out in the bush, there was no phone signal, no telephone boxes, no internet. This was the reason why I was silent for 2 weeks. Seeing as though staying there for 9 days was unplanned, I hadn't thought about contacting home BEFORE I left civilization, to let everyone know I wouldn't be in touch until the 5th of January. So nobody knew where I was. Panic! I was feeling so bad about that, as I knew people were expecting to hear from me, especially seeing as it was over the new year period - the time to definitely get connected. So luckily, on the 31st of December, in the afternoon, I managed to get a lift to the nearest town, 45 minutes away, where I found a phonebox, called Auntie Trish, who would let my nearest and dearest back home know that I was okay and out of range for a very long week.
After clearing that up, I’m now back and reflecting on the Confest experience. Which was “out of this world”. I mean this in every sense of the word too.
We arrived at Confest on the morning of the 29th. And what is it all about? Basically it’s a festival held on a site, that’s a couple of acres of land, far far away from anywhere - so in the middle of the bush - where around 2000 people, all camping, come together as a community 2 times a year - a week over the New Year period and a week at Easter. Jason had told me so many stories about this festival, so I was well-prepared for what was waiting for me. And it’s just as well too. Because this was a proper hippy festival and had everything that can be associated with the hippy-lifestyle on offer to experience. It was an alcohol and drug-free event, so any highs that people were wanting to have, they would have to be natural. And they were - it’s what I felt from day 1.
The spirit I felt when I was there, was so amazing. The people I met, were so unique, so open, so accepting of everyone. Everyone was considered a friend, nobody was an outsider, everyone was welcome and thus greeted with smiles. Just the feel of the place, was something I've never experienced before. I think I felt it so strongly because of the amount of people who were so grounded, so open, so connected to everything and everyone and so loving towards every soul at this festival and I could see this approach towards people created an intense height of positive energy from which each individual was all able to feed. This energy everyone was feeling, was being returned and made to expand just by the acceptance of that smile. This led to everyone being able to experience a feeling of being high, of being unique and of being loved; whilst being in a state of natural bliss. This is how I experienced it.. Wouw!
The next 5 posts (!!!!) are about my amazing week at Confest. I couldn’t stop myself as I was reflecting on how that week went, what it gave me, what I did and what I learnt. It was a place and a week that inspired me so much, I felt I had to put them in writing. I hadn’t intended on writing so much but I really wanted to share this with you. So what am I warning you for? Most of what I’m about to write, is about love, peace, harmony.. and the words “beautiful“, “amazing” and “experiences” are words I’ve used far too frequently, but I had no other way of expressing how “beautiful” and “amazing” these “experiences” were.. ;)
From the beginning - At Confest
To CONFEST is where I went, on the 29th December. With Jason. A last minute decision. I hadn't a clue what to expect from this festival, I knew it was going to be running for 9 days, but didn't plan on staying for the whole duration. Not until the first day was over. That's when I realized how amazing the place was, how unique this festival was going to be, how much it could offer me and how lucky I was to be given the chance to experience being in such a special place. So, we decided to stay for the whole 9 days..
BUT, this led me to being disconnected from the world. As the festival was out in the bush, there was no phone signal, no telephone boxes, no internet. This was the reason why I was silent for 2 weeks. Seeing as though staying there for 9 days was unplanned, I hadn't thought about contacting home BEFORE I left civilization, to let everyone know I wouldn't be in touch until the 5th of January. So nobody knew where I was. Panic! I was feeling so bad about that, as I knew people were expecting to hear from me, especially seeing as it was over the new year period - the time to definitely get connected. So luckily, on the 31st of December, in the afternoon, I managed to get a lift to the nearest town, 45 minutes away, where I found a phonebox, called Auntie Trish, who would let my nearest and dearest back home know that I was okay and out of range for a very long week.
After clearing that up, I’m now back and reflecting on the Confest experience. Which was “out of this world”. I mean this in every sense of the word too.
We arrived at Confest on the morning of the 29th. And what is it all about? Basically it’s a festival held on a site, that’s a couple of acres of land, far far away from anywhere - so in the middle of the bush - where around 2000 people, all camping, come together as a community 2 times a year - a week over the New Year period and a week at Easter. Jason had told me so many stories about this festival, so I was well-prepared for what was waiting for me. And it’s just as well too. Because this was a proper hippy festival and had everything that can be associated with the hippy-lifestyle on offer to experience. It was an alcohol and drug-free event, so any highs that people were wanting to have, they would have to be natural. And they were - it’s what I felt from day 1.
The spirit I felt when I was there, was so amazing. The people I met, were so unique, so open, so accepting of everyone. Everyone was considered a friend, nobody was an outsider, everyone was welcome and thus greeted with smiles. Just the feel of the place, was something I've never experienced before. I think I felt it so strongly because of the amount of people who were so grounded, so open, so connected to everything and everyone and so loving towards every soul at this festival and I could see this approach towards people created an intense height of positive energy from which each individual was all able to feed. This energy everyone was feeling, was being returned and made to expand just by the acceptance of that smile. This led to everyone being able to experience a feeling of being high, of being unique and of being loved; whilst being in a state of natural bliss. This is how I experienced it.. Wouw!
Monday, January 11, 2010
A belated 27th and 28th of December..
Two whole weeks and not a peep from me. Such a silence that feels has lasted for way too long. It was a silence I hadn’t planned, I silence I didn’t intend on creating. But somehow the events that occurred and the speed at which each one came about, forced me to be silent..
My last reflection was in Kuala Lumpur.. As I waited to get the bus to the airport. The plane awaited me that evening and was transporting me across many many miles, through a few different time zones, to be in a country I had grown to love but somehow didn’t feel so comfortable returning to.
My month in Malaysia and Thailand had brought about so many different emotions, revelations and adventures into being. My eyes had been opened in ways they had never witnessed either myself, the world and the people in it, before. What am I referring to? Well, for example: The way a person can place themselves in a certain world and the way that certain world can take on that particular person. Everything that has over the years has led me to see the traveling-life so differently. I always knew how amazing it was. But now, I’ve come to realize it even more so, due to the easiness and confidence I felt in being grounded - even when that particular part of the ground I found myself on, wasn’t “my own”. To be “one” with the world and with the souls in it, really does mean that anywhere can feel like home, because there really is no difference. Being one, is being the same. I’d felt this is other countries but never in countries where I’d be in the minority, where I would stick out in the crowd because of my hair and skin color. This time in Asia, I still stuck out in the crowd, but I didn’t feel it - I felt to be the same. I’d heard this expression before and thought it to be a cool way of seeing the world. But it’s not like a switch you can turn on, when trying to get to that mind-set. Something has to have changed within the minds eye to truly not feel or see yourself as being different in a culture so unique. Throughout the past year and a half, something did change in my minds eye and being in Asia I really was able to feel it. It was like I was putting into practice all that I had learnt and discovered within myself. It was truly an amazing feeling and I never realized when I was learning so much over the past year and a half that even my travel experiences would benefit from this adjustment. I’m ever ever so grateful.
So flying back to Melbourne on the evening of the 27th of December, to arrive on the morning of the 28th, was somehow different than I expected it to be. I expected to want to go back, I expected to be happy to set foot on Ozzie soil once again, I expected I’d be excited to be around western people again. Instead, every step of the journey, was one I didn’t want to take. I didn’t dwell on this fact however, as I knew I had to return to Oz - even if it were just for me to figure out that it was time to move on - and I was basically shocked by how I was feeling once I got to the airport in Melbourne. I was feeling how I should have felt when I stepped off the plane in Malaysia. I was feeling like an outsider. I was feeling dumbstruck at the sight and sound of all these Westerners - I know this might sound so silly - and because of the fact that this sounds so silly it’s also why I was shocked by the voice in my head that wasn’t liking the fact that I was blending in with the Westerners and speaking the same English language!! What a strange world.. Or maybe: what a strange way for me to suddenly feel and look at the world. The Australian world..
This feeling didn’t last too long. It didn’t scare me away. Nothing drastic came of it. It was simply whacky to witness it. From the airport in Melbourne, the city centre was the next port of call. Throughout the journey I was adjusting again to the normal buses, the normal speed at which they traveled and the normal road behaviour. Then at the station: the higher prices of food, tea, Internet, train tickets. Wouw! What a difference.. But within an hour all was good. Even though I still longed to be in Asia.
I sat in the food court at the station, as I had the whole day to wait for the bus that was going to be taking me to Jason. This food court sent me into a zone of some sort. At that stage, I had been traveling nearly 48 hours, without having seen a bed, so I was a little delirious too. I was in a zone and often I had to remind myself of what city I was in, or even what country.. And every time..O yeah.. Australia.. Okay..it’s okay Niamh.. This is good.
But really it wasn’t too good. I felt so lost, and sat there for 3 hours solid, writing my heart out and dealing with the situation at hand. Which was: What was I doing for the next week and for new years? Yes, I had booked my ticket to Swan Hill to go to see Jason. But things had changed, I felt they would be different and so we both kept an open mind when it came to us being back together again. It was an afternoon of feeling lost, wrecked but also one of feeling so easy and peaceful.. It was me just sitting and writing and I loved every minute of it. I didn’t want it to end. I was in the zone, my own zone, where I wanted to be. Maybe I didn’t want to deal with the real world as I felt so secure by myself. Maybe I didn’t want to loose the high I was feeling after an amazing month. Maybe I wanted to savor that feeling and share it only with those who wanted to share in my joy and not with those who might resent me for having had that amazing opportunity..(that I created by myself by the way.. so why should I feel guilty? A person makes their own experiences, lives their own life and everyone can make happen anything they really long for). Who was to know why I didn’t want that afternoon to end. It could also have simply been because I was in the food court right beside the sushi, that was coming out of my ears accompanied by green tea.. Hummm..
So I got to Swan Hill at 10pm. Jason was waiting at the station for me. The sight of the van.. White Myvan.. The adventure van.. The van that had been my home, with Jason inside, who had missed me. And there was Niamh: loaded up with a new “tan“, slightly longer hair, new stories to tell and some new inspiration and drive to go for the things she’s been longing to get from life. What a change.. And because of this, we needed to spend proper time together. We needed to reconnect and find common ground once again. A month isn’t a real long time to be apart, but when so much happens and a person starts feeling things that were there all along but had chosen to ignore them for so long, then a month can bring a lifetimes worth of changes with it. In some ways that’s what happened to me. So Jason and I decided at the very last minute to go to a festival near Swan Hill, in Moulemein, called Confest. It would be the perfect environment for us to spend time together, to learn and to grow.
This was on the morning of the 29th. Such a rash decision. And such a dramatic change. Going from Kho Phangang on the 26th, down through Malaysia, onto the plane in Kuala Lumpur, getting off in Melbourne, then hanging out there for a full day, then on to Swan Hill, straight into sorting out the ground on which Jason and I was were trying to walk upon together, and to end up at the hippy Confest, out in the Ozzie bush. All this within 3 days, without any sleep.
How does it all evolve, and does this festival bring out things that I haven’t yet discovered about myself..?? Catch up later for some more..
My last reflection was in Kuala Lumpur.. As I waited to get the bus to the airport. The plane awaited me that evening and was transporting me across many many miles, through a few different time zones, to be in a country I had grown to love but somehow didn’t feel so comfortable returning to.
My month in Malaysia and Thailand had brought about so many different emotions, revelations and adventures into being. My eyes had been opened in ways they had never witnessed either myself, the world and the people in it, before. What am I referring to? Well, for example: The way a person can place themselves in a certain world and the way that certain world can take on that particular person. Everything that has over the years has led me to see the traveling-life so differently. I always knew how amazing it was. But now, I’ve come to realize it even more so, due to the easiness and confidence I felt in being grounded - even when that particular part of the ground I found myself on, wasn’t “my own”. To be “one” with the world and with the souls in it, really does mean that anywhere can feel like home, because there really is no difference. Being one, is being the same. I’d felt this is other countries but never in countries where I’d be in the minority, where I would stick out in the crowd because of my hair and skin color. This time in Asia, I still stuck out in the crowd, but I didn’t feel it - I felt to be the same. I’d heard this expression before and thought it to be a cool way of seeing the world. But it’s not like a switch you can turn on, when trying to get to that mind-set. Something has to have changed within the minds eye to truly not feel or see yourself as being different in a culture so unique. Throughout the past year and a half, something did change in my minds eye and being in Asia I really was able to feel it. It was like I was putting into practice all that I had learnt and discovered within myself. It was truly an amazing feeling and I never realized when I was learning so much over the past year and a half that even my travel experiences would benefit from this adjustment. I’m ever ever so grateful.
So flying back to Melbourne on the evening of the 27th of December, to arrive on the morning of the 28th, was somehow different than I expected it to be. I expected to want to go back, I expected to be happy to set foot on Ozzie soil once again, I expected I’d be excited to be around western people again. Instead, every step of the journey, was one I didn’t want to take. I didn’t dwell on this fact however, as I knew I had to return to Oz - even if it were just for me to figure out that it was time to move on - and I was basically shocked by how I was feeling once I got to the airport in Melbourne. I was feeling how I should have felt when I stepped off the plane in Malaysia. I was feeling like an outsider. I was feeling dumbstruck at the sight and sound of all these Westerners - I know this might sound so silly - and because of the fact that this sounds so silly it’s also why I was shocked by the voice in my head that wasn’t liking the fact that I was blending in with the Westerners and speaking the same English language!! What a strange world.. Or maybe: what a strange way for me to suddenly feel and look at the world. The Australian world..
This feeling didn’t last too long. It didn’t scare me away. Nothing drastic came of it. It was simply whacky to witness it. From the airport in Melbourne, the city centre was the next port of call. Throughout the journey I was adjusting again to the normal buses, the normal speed at which they traveled and the normal road behaviour. Then at the station: the higher prices of food, tea, Internet, train tickets. Wouw! What a difference.. But within an hour all was good. Even though I still longed to be in Asia.
I sat in the food court at the station, as I had the whole day to wait for the bus that was going to be taking me to Jason. This food court sent me into a zone of some sort. At that stage, I had been traveling nearly 48 hours, without having seen a bed, so I was a little delirious too. I was in a zone and often I had to remind myself of what city I was in, or even what country.. And every time..O yeah.. Australia.. Okay..it’s okay Niamh.. This is good.
But really it wasn’t too good. I felt so lost, and sat there for 3 hours solid, writing my heart out and dealing with the situation at hand. Which was: What was I doing for the next week and for new years? Yes, I had booked my ticket to Swan Hill to go to see Jason. But things had changed, I felt they would be different and so we both kept an open mind when it came to us being back together again. It was an afternoon of feeling lost, wrecked but also one of feeling so easy and peaceful.. It was me just sitting and writing and I loved every minute of it. I didn’t want it to end. I was in the zone, my own zone, where I wanted to be. Maybe I didn’t want to deal with the real world as I felt so secure by myself. Maybe I didn’t want to loose the high I was feeling after an amazing month. Maybe I wanted to savor that feeling and share it only with those who wanted to share in my joy and not with those who might resent me for having had that amazing opportunity..(that I created by myself by the way.. so why should I feel guilty? A person makes their own experiences, lives their own life and everyone can make happen anything they really long for). Who was to know why I didn’t want that afternoon to end. It could also have simply been because I was in the food court right beside the sushi, that was coming out of my ears accompanied by green tea.. Hummm..
So I got to Swan Hill at 10pm. Jason was waiting at the station for me. The sight of the van.. White Myvan.. The adventure van.. The van that had been my home, with Jason inside, who had missed me. And there was Niamh: loaded up with a new “tan“, slightly longer hair, new stories to tell and some new inspiration and drive to go for the things she’s been longing to get from life. What a change.. And because of this, we needed to spend proper time together. We needed to reconnect and find common ground once again. A month isn’t a real long time to be apart, but when so much happens and a person starts feeling things that were there all along but had chosen to ignore them for so long, then a month can bring a lifetimes worth of changes with it. In some ways that’s what happened to me. So Jason and I decided at the very last minute to go to a festival near Swan Hill, in Moulemein, called Confest. It would be the perfect environment for us to spend time together, to learn and to grow.
This was on the morning of the 29th. Such a rash decision. And such a dramatic change. Going from Kho Phangang on the 26th, down through Malaysia, onto the plane in Kuala Lumpur, getting off in Melbourne, then hanging out there for a full day, then on to Swan Hill, straight into sorting out the ground on which Jason and I was were trying to walk upon together, and to end up at the hippy Confest, out in the Ozzie bush. All this within 3 days, without any sleep.
How does it all evolve, and does this festival bring out things that I haven’t yet discovered about myself..?? Catch up later for some more..
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