Oops is what I say, when thinking of teaching… I’ve become so absorbed in the book that I’ve been distancing myself more and more from teaching – it’s probably only natural by the way… and it feels brilliant! But… this of course gets me wondering about the whole ‘teaching thing’… I think I’ve sussed it out already though. Teaching may not be my passion, it’s not my career… but yes, I can do it and be happy. It’s temporary, it’s a one-off experience, and only 3 months of my entire life. So why would I even consider giving in to the temptations I have to complain about it? How spoilt am I to want to complain, when everything is feeling so great!?
Such a need someone can have to ALWAYS WANT MORE PERFECTION IN LIFE! Do I suddenly think that, just for stepping into the world all fresh, fully recharged and with so much inspiration and motivation to get things into motion, that I can be granted permission from whoever it is that’s permitting me to live my life, AND DO WHAT I WANT???!!!!! Do I feel that I’ve suddenly got the right to put my own energy and focus into work I feel is more satisfying and rewarding than anything I’ve ever done in my life??? Actually, I’ll take retrace what I just said: I don’t think there’s one particular individual who’s currently handing out permits to the residents of the world, stating what one can and can’t do throughout the course of their own lives. No, I know for a fact there’s nobody! It’s only US… (and I’m not referring to the United States, no matter how powerful they may feel to be in the world, but I mean OURSELVES).
Humm… I’m getting to the bottom of something here. If I want to say, do and, most importantly, FEEL that I can continue to be apart of the book world, EVEN WHEN I’M TEACHING, THEN I WILL… If choose to believe that I literally AM the creator of my life, then I’ll continue making choices based on ‘the permit I’m applying for’. I’ll grant myself the permission to reside in the world of books so I can do and be in life, in whatever way, shape or form I feel is right for me, no matter what situation comes my way.
So, if the goals, visions and prospects of what is to come – when I stick to my guns (which I happily will do) AND stand my ground (that I’ve only just found my feet to be standing so firmly on) – then time is so UNimportant. It doesn’t matter one bit how long it takes or hard the road gets… it will happen either way. The book will reach the reader! And what’s the best thing about it? I’m not afraid anymore to admit when I’ve made a wrong decision, a wrong choice…
Because I’m new to this territory, this road I’m heading down, the one that’s pointing me in the direction of becoming an Indie writer; which is the abbreviation of an independent writer – someone who publishes themselves, markets/promotes themselves and has total freedom to create, write and express their writing in whatever manner THEY THEMSELVES wish, without having to answer to others. Could a person experience more freedom than this? In my eyes, it’s impossible.… This process however is challenging, daunting, overwhelming. Wrong decisions and f*ck-ups can be made (excuse the language). But at the same time, lessons can (and most definitely will) be learnt. And guess what; that’s what I’m here for! I’m here to learn and I can only do so by putting things into practise and gaining experience. I know I’m a student again and, by seeing how the world is moving and changing at lightning speed, in every which way possible, I’ll probably remain a student for the rest of my life… and will never EVER attend a graduation ceremony. But I don’t care. I’ve never been one for giving importance to certificates anyhow…
And, with that, I’ll leave this little rant of mine for what it is: just a rant… I’m hearing the amazingly chaotic Indian city just outside the front door calling for me to take a walk in the blistering afternoon sun. So I’ll hold an umbrella for protection and buy some fruit and veg from the stall up the road and I’ll be sure to tell the cows I meet along the way (as they eat their lunch from the roadside garbage) that you send your kindest regards… that should put a smile on their faces! What a wonderful world…
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