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Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Something new

New beginnings. We all say it’s a time for new resolutions. It’s a time to better ourselves as we try doing things that will make out lives happier. But, I’m not going to suddenly start changing my ways. I’ve already been doing that and so I’m going to continue as I was before, always trying to learn life’s lessons, no matter what time of year it may be. It should always be a time to be conscious of how we live and of the reasons for our actions and the changes we wish to make and then to follow them through.

So, on that note… it’s January 1st. Is it a coincidence that from tomorrow onwards a new chapter starts for me? It’s the start of my ‘proper’ classes in Kayamkulam school. For the past 2 weeks, yes I’ve been teaching, but it was only to the small groups and the weaker students, also I’ve only been there for half days and simply warming up, meeting the kids and getting into the swing of things. From tomorrow onwards, a routine will start. I’ll be there full-time (6 days a week) with a proper schedule and I’ll be apart of the school – even if it is only for 6 weeks.

I’m happy to be here. I’ve settled into this spacious hostel – after having some ‘starting problems’ that became the cause of some mental turmoil. But hey-ho, I’m stable again and my health is back on track. So I’m willing to make the next 6 weeks into a new experience, even if it’s not the first time for me to be teaching in Kayamkulam.

For the past 2 months I’ve been hugely caught-up in ONLY the experience at Sasthavattom school, forgetting a lot about other things. So I never properly realized just how fast time is moving. But, now with more clarity and strength, I see that the next 6 weeks of teaching, could very well be the last time for me to ever be working in India. Because my mind has changed; I once thought I’d want to come back as soon as possible after I leave in Feb. But I’ve heard myself saying to most people, that I don’t want to come back or even try to renew my visa. Not anytime in the near future anyhow. This was quite a shock, when I heard myself say it to the owner of the hostel. It just flopped out of my mouth! What a turn around! To have gone from hoping I could stay a full year to now saying; ‘nope, I’m happily moving onwards…’ it’s quite big. I didn’t even sit and over think it… I didn’t need to, for some reason. I don’t even know when I decided. Just one day last week I said it and I didn’t feel sad nor did I feel to be insulting the Indians around me, by saying I was happy to leave their country! I’m realizing, that so suddenly it’s time for something new, a new place, a new experience.

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