‘Sober St Patricks day’ - who'd have thought it! I went to a dance party on Saturday night, in the heart of Dublin. It was an alcohol and drug-free event organized by the Funky Seomra. And I can only say how liberating it felt, to be ‘trancing’ with sober souls. It was something I never expected to experience here in Ireland, especially not during a festival that’s known the world over as merely a reason to party hard and to get ‘hammered, smashed, locked and rat-arsed’.
I was in a zone like no other – one I hadn’t entered through the act of dancing, in quite a long time. I felt alive, I felt free, I felt home and surrounded by friends. Out of the 200 people, I only knew 2. But the music was enough for us strangers to unite and connect.
Saturday night I re-awakened an amazing energy that only music can ignite. There wasn’t a sense of ‘trying to fit in’ or of having to ‘follow the crowd’. There was no judgement and people were simply free to express themselves in the manner they desired without feeling they were ‘falling short’ of what the majority had set as being the ‘norm’. Everyone had their own ‘norm’, their own rules and their unique way in which to express themselves. It was ultimate freedom and natural happiness - at least in my eyes.
It really taught me that, regardless of where we are in the world, there will always be like-minded people. Open-souls and connected individuals aren't ONLY found in certain countries or continents. Yes, it's true that in certain places you'll encounter more open-hearts and evolving beings of light. But those living from a natural state of gratitude, are found in all corners. If it becomes hard to find those individuals in search of freedom, those who savour their burning desire, those in awe of this amazing life, then we have to consciously choose to surround ourselves by ‘just’ a few seekers and connectors. The door to others will open up and new worlds will appear simultaneously. Then the journey can continue to unfold from an even greater level of excitement, appreciation and ZEST for what life there exists and whose lives we're in touch with.
It won’t come as a shock that I’m opening doors, in many different ways. Over the past 3 or 4 weeks life seems to have upped a few gears. Things accelerated once the realization of how stuck I’ve become in my current situation, started to hit home. Stimulation and motivation has been lacking and it started to seep through into how I’ve physically been feeling; which was/is drained, lifeless and missing something of a spark and a fire inside. Just realizing it means the change is already happening. Slowly I’m taking life back into my own hands and learning – yet again – that I CHOOSE my own destiny, and the things that are happening in my life aren’t destined to control me (yet that’s something I permitted ‘life’ to do… when of course, it was ME who did it!).
We, ourselves, are the ones driving our lives and creating our own destiny in every moment. These are such simple words and we hear them almost daily - yet we often don't realize we're not actually trying to live accordingly. When we're no longer creating our own destiny and through reflection starting to see how we've limited ourselves, only THEN these simple words come to hold REAL meaning for us.
I see now that I was ‘giving in’ to the illusion that I’m destined to be where I am now, without actually taking into full consideration if it's what I want or if it’s making me happy. I’ve always lived a life from a state of KNOWING how important it is to take action and create my life. I’ve always TAKEN full control of my life and chosen my directions as a result. So to have made myself believe (for whatever reason –probably FEAR) that the directions have been chosen FOR me and that I simply ‘HAVE’ to go with those ‘destined directions’, I’d of course feel an inner strength has been lost.
That inner strength can only be described as ZEST and it comes alive whilst engaging in stimulating environments, new experiences and interacting with enlivened people. That ZEST comes when we act on our dreams, and witness them manifesting - instead of only dreaming those dreams and pondering how and when those dreams will ever come true, expecting something or someone else to grant us that wish, without us ever needing to lift a finger and participate in the creation!
At this moment, I find there’s no need to dwell on what’s gone by and I’m grateful for what I can see and how I can learn from this ‘stuckness’.This acceptance has been giving me the answer and it's showing me the way. I see what I’ve been doing, and so I know what steps to take to re-ignite this spark of LIFE I feel I’ve lost.
I can safely take a vow that grants me the right, once again, to fly. I can stop listening to others who will tell me ‘my past experiences ‘should’ be enough to satisfy my soul’. I no longer feel non-deserving of experiencing new things, simply because I’ve been blessed with so many amazing ventures already.
How strange that a part of myself had me convinced that I didn't have the right to fly, to experience, to venture and to connect with this amazing planet, on a deeper level than ever before! So eager and determined I've been to get my book OUT THERE and to keep writing, that I’d convinced myself I could only do so, by being static and stationed and stuck! When the truth is that my 'stuckness' has stopped me from writing and creating. And if I claim that writing is a sign of real life - on an individual level - and if travel is the thing to spark off my creativity, then the solution I've come up with, really is the only way forward.
Travel isn’t something I need to fear. It isn’t something I should ‘subtract’ from my current life’s undertakings. Travel sets me in the flow, it opens my heart, it connects me with spirit and I come into contact with those I’m in need of attracting. Most importantly, I come into contact with myself. The element of movement and motion will always bring me to call upon my inner strength, to keep my fire inside burning and to share that spark with whoever I come to cross paths with.
So, to set myself out on a worldly journey once again and to slowly start changing my present circumstances, I’ve chosen to do something I’ve been dreaming of doing for years. I’m going to Spain, on the 2nd of April, to walk the Camino. Just saying this here and now, is opening up a whole new chapter and I could write till the cows come home. So I’d better pause for the moment and leave this post with just another notion: as I approach the wonderful age of 30 (next Thursday) I’m only starting to feel how consciously I can move through this life. A new beginning approaches. It's fresh and open – granting me a mountain of knowledge that I'll share.
A path opens up before me; a path I shall literally wander and mindfully ponder.