So I’ve happily let go of questioning. I’m at peace with the book and I’m grateful that the questioning has shown me just how much I’m moving with the change and flow of life. And that’s how it’s meant to be. I’m meant to be changing. I’m meant to be growing, and I’m meant to gain understanding for the fact that change is necessary in order to set this story free.
I’ve been carrying this story for so long. Sometimes it feels I’ve carried it my whole life… Which, from a certain perspective, I guess I have. The desire to write and to publish, I’ve been carrying for the past 3 years. And the actual written version I’ve been holding to, for a year-and-a-half. I literally travelled with it when I went to China (I had the printed manuscript weighing 2 kilos in my backpack, throughout that entire time!) I then travelled with it to India… The actual printed script was then too heavy, so I left it behind in Jayanthi’s house in Chennai (back in October). No doubt it’s still there in drawer of the desk in her study, sitting in its folder... I had the digital versions and the back-ups on my laptop, which I figured was enough to carry… and the longing – that was slowly turning into desperation – was enough weight to move along with me.
I was waiting for the ‘perfect’ place, person, time and situation to come along so as I could hand over what I’d been carrying. And handing it to just one person, Lorraine, (by attaching the script to an email, from behind the computer in the staffroom of a south Indian school) was all that was needed for it to eventually be handed over to any unlimited amount of readers. That to me, felt like the perfect time, place and person and it’s now leading to the perfect results, as time passes by. And, as we speak - or as I sit and type - the real life story is being let go of. With letting-go I’m transforming the energy into a force that will empower and enrich and open-up more opportunities for the good of anybody who is willing to receive.
So why would I place such expectations and deadlines on myself JUST for the sake of materializing the publication as quickly as is humanly possible? If it’s going to happen either way, there’s no point in giving the will of my strong mind the power to force things into BEING. But by now releasing that kind of control, I’m sinking into the flow. I know it will happen. Also, I’ve come so far and I’ve worked so hard these past months (I include ridding myself of bugs and the like, as apart of ‘work’ too ;)) that nothing will steer me away. And I can only be grateful to be here in Ireland and to have this time to work on setting this story free in a manner that’s flowing (for as long as my mind doesn’t start freaking me out that I’m doing too little and taking too much time to do such nothingness!).
When I look back on how March and April have unfolded, I’ve learned so much, both throughout those months as well as on reflection. And seeing the way things planned out differently, I’m understanding the power that sits within total PRESENT LIVING. I have to, I wish to and therefore I do. Because truth be known; I don’t know what I’m doing next month or next week even. I don’t know how, when or what it will be that’s going to take place. I don’t know the people I’ll reach. I don’t know if I’ll have time to absorb myself in writing another book. I don’t know if I’ll be leaving… I know nothing! All I know is that everything will revolve around writing. It will firstly ALL revolve around Digesting Wisdom… And from there… who knows. This is actually ALL that I need to be certain of! Because then nothing can go ‘wrong’.
I feel strongly that every week will bring changes into my life. Changes those around me may or may not be aware of, but changes that I most definitely will be undergoing. So I take each day as it comes. And it’s letting me appreciate LIFE so much more. It’s really quite amazing – as well as challenging (when that strong-willed-mind will try to control LIFE instead of letting IT be controlled BY life… which is the only true way to be happy, balanced and at ease in the world).
This is how it’s flowing. But people around me need to hear dates, and need to see that it’s working. And the only thing that will prove to them that it’s working, is to see THE ACTUAL BOOK IN PRINTFORM. And, I can safely tell everyone right now, that it doesn’t happen overnight! People will ask, ‘Niamh, when is the promotion work starting?’ I’ll answer, ‘I don’t know yet… sometime in May.’ Then it’s, ‘Niamh, when is the book going to the printers?’ I’ll answer, ‘I don’t know yet… maybe in the next 2 weeks.’ Or the next will ask, ‘Niamh, when is the date of the BOOK LAUNCH?’ Then I’ll focus on the power of certainty that things will work when and how they’re meant to and I’ll answer, ‘when it’s time…’
So… the whole MATERIALIZATION will take place when it’s meant to. Yes. I live in this very moment. I intend for so much and I envision huge changes to continuously be taking place in my life. But, I stay focused on this moment and I learn as much as I can. That’s the only way I’ll move forward in the direction that’s intended. I believe that when there’s a spirit that needs elevation in every moment, then the circumstances they find themselves to be in will NEVER stay the same.