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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Big difference

Reconnecting with the family. Life pauses when the family from elsewhere arrives. 

On Friday my sisters from Holland came over to visit for my niece’s christening. The commotion that was suddenly LIFE, was quite a craze. But it’s what I needed; I’ve had such little contact with ‘masses of people’ throughout the past 3 months, so a buzzing weekend was definitely refreshing. And today (Wednesday) life is just that little bit lighter than it already was.

Being in the company of my 3 sisters (their partners too), my younger brother and 5 nieces/nephews, has made me see my own life as being so much more… quiet… than I realized it was! In my ‘normal’ circumstances (here in Ireland), I’m not surrounded by stress or chaos or commotion (only if I create it, unintentionally, in my own head). Generally speaking the worries are so minor and I can easily turn away from other people’s stress—as I’m so seldom exposed to it.  

However, this weekend I found that having such little exposure to stress and noise COULD be something to make life more challenging, when I suddenly AM surrounded by stresses and circumstances that are inevitably taking up my ‘head space’. It’s like the peace within could be threatened and I’d be wary of losing myself without willing to. But I needn’t have had any doubts about how other people’s stress levels were to affect me! Because throughout these past few days I felt just how much space I actually DO have, ALWAYS. And that new awareness made me enjoy the fact that I could witness how my entire family approaches their lives and where their energy flows to each day. I’ve come to realize that my inner peace never actually fades away and I can naturally sit in that peace and I keep sanity close! It’s amazing to feel how empowering it is, when silence is there ALWAYS in the midst of other people’s chaos, stress, pressure and commotion. And suddenly the whole purpose of practising to live presently in personal harmony—through meditation, yoga and creativity—makes sense! Suddenly it hits home what inner peace and a calm mind is all in aid of; it’s for the sake of always being at ease in every situation the surrounding world can throw at us. It also shows us that our response to the outer commotion is driven by our own power, and not that of the surrounding world.  

Another thing I realized after spending some quality days together, is the differences in our lives. I’ve been seeing just how much our daily lives vary and how my journey is taking a drastically different route. Spending time with my sisters and seeing what their focus is in life, made me see myself through other eyes. I kept thinking: how crazy is it for me to have started out in the same place, surrounded by the same people and ‘given’ the same chances and opportunities, but to NOW (at the age of 29!) be experiencing things that couldn’t be more different than what they are ‘viewing and doing’ in life?!?! They have their partners, their kids, their extended families, their jobs, their houses. I have… hummm… my writing… I’ve a book waiting to be written ;) and… huge visions of what is still yet to come in life. That’s me. And this weekend I could see how ‘far off the mark’ I am… from what would ‘normally’ be the way to go! But I’m totally fine with this… MORE than fine, actually!

I’m delighted that my situation and responsibilities in life, force me to get into my own world and I feel blessed to have access to MY OWN TIME and SPACE. Usually I’m so wrapped-up with ‘getting the writing done’ that I forget just how precious it is that I’m evolving through the actions I personally choose to take each day in life. I only appreciate NOW how unique it is that nobody is claiming my time, nobody is controlling my days. Nothing from outside takes over and nothing lets me lose focus of what I feel I must be doing with my time. So the purpose of my current quiet and sometimes lonely existence serves so much more: only with my space, peace and time can I write! There you go… 

So it’s great that I can get to do this now… The time will come when my focus shifts to some THING and some PLACE else. And for now, this awareness makes the journey deeper and more meaningful… Yay! As well, of course, I appreciate my sisters and their kids all the more too… for giving me their connection, understanding and support in everything I do. Life is so so  great!  

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