At home with Michael Beckwith-Concluded

I finally felt I was less alone… in this room with 300 people… It was so relieving to see that here on this little green Isle, there are those who view life from a similar viewpoint as I do… I don’t have to travel the world to find like-minded people! And I’d never have been introduced to this awakened and lighter aspect within the Irish community, if it wasn’t for Lorraine inviting me… But then again, she’d never have invited me, if she wasn’t publishing my book… I guess it’s the book, the story of my life and the nature of me, that’s starting to open up doors and I’m—simultaneously—opening up to reveal my own truth… Suddenly I’m meeting people here in Ireland that resonate with me, that recognize my passion… and by embracing the connections that form, in such a state of giving, we can help each other, and so many more, to move forward and to keep the purpose of this life ALIVE—setting ourselves free. Wouw… It’s quite amazing.

So, we listened, we raised our energy frequency, we meditated, we envisioned, we danced, we sang, we laughed, we let the barriers go and opened ourselves up to our inner potential. Afterwards, it was like the after party began! No music or alcohol required! Just people in a positive frequency, mingling, exchanging experiences and networking. And wouw… I met some great people… I spoke about my book to quite a few as well, spoke with some other authors who are just getting started too, spoke with a motivational speaker that’s based here in Ireland… and was invited to some other gatherings (similar to this one, but on a smaller, more local scale). I can get more involved with ‘things’ and realize the opportunities that are out there, only so ‘close’ to my front door, when trying to be more of an inspiration and motivator to others. Because it’s the only way I can be heading from here… given the purpose of the first book, as well as the second, and the energy I have that can be put to MORE use out there in the world… My passion for life doesn’t ONLY have to be injected into writing books. It’s a part of it, but writing is already leading to my literal voice to be heard and not only my written voice to be read.

It’s a process however and something that only evolves as time comes to pass. It can only emerge if I don’t force or pressurize myself. In a state of ease, I can see how more things can happen. Not forcing the path to unfold and not forcing for directions to appear, will actually makes each step appear and in taking each step forward the next step will appear. I have to learn that this is not just an approach that I have to associate with this particular time in my life, but it’s an approach that needs to be practised for all of this lifetime. Only THEN can the most devotion be injected into living a life that’s based on truth.

Back to Sunday evening; I was one of the last to leave the hall. I spoke with Michael and his wife… such open, giving, loving people. I left and was walking on air… OPEN! Stepping outside again, was the strangest thing… it was as though I’d been travelling for a period of time I can’t say, during the hours of being inside the seminar hall.

Suddenly back on the ground, I was sitting on a green Dublin city bus making my way to the bus station in the city centre. I was looking at the crowds of football fans going in and out of the pubs, intoxicated, shouting abuse at each other… guards everywhere… One guy was in handcuffs, being pinned down to the ground by 3 cops, blood streaming from his mouth… and the Dublin folks were just ecstatic to get that bit of excitement. What a different world…

It didn’t bring me down… it just brought home how important it is for us to BE the change we wish to SEE in the world around us. If I wish to see people feeling love and happiness—regardless of our circumstances, place, relationships—then I myself have to be that same state… This doesn’t mean I’m ignorant or that I don’t care about other people’s pain. It means I know I’m of more use to the world, if I send suffering individuals understanding, compassion and positive vibes, instead of feeling miserable myself as a result of all the crime, pain, abuse and destruction that’s out there in this world. Life’s too short to engage in the pains of the world, from a manner that brings us down. Instead I choose to view the pains of the world, from a perspective that’s changing, moving forward and elevating all those who are open to positive growth. I could write about this forever, but I won’t… I’ll let this be for now, as life takes on a different dimension...

At home with Michael Beckwith

Last Thursday I was chatting on the phone with Lorraine, my publisher (still quite strange to be saying this!). Anyhow, she spontaneously mentioned she was going to a Vision Seminar on Sunday, held in Dublin, and invited me along. She was a sponsor of the event and would be setting up a stand so as to promote her business (as well as my book!). I was ecstatic of course that she asked me to come along… it would be the first time I’d ever put myself ‘out there’ as an author! Wouw… This would turn out to be quite an event. I was even more excited when she said that Michael Bernard Beckwith would be giving talks all day!  

For those who don’t know him by name, they may know him by face… He stars in the movie ‘The Secret’. He’s a meditation teacher, visionary master, healer, motivational speaker, author… on and on the list goes as to what this man does with his life. I couldn’t believe I was actually going to be seeing this man speaking, in real life!

With many of the world famous motivational teachers, self-help authors, coaches and healers, I’ve often felt they were so ‘out of reach’… I’d be learning about spiritual progression and I’d hear big names of the teachers/coaches/healers/authors who have helped, and continue to help, millions of people in the world to change their lives for the better. They teach about becoming free from pain and fear so as to eventually discover the purpose of one’s life. They teach certain perspectives that will bring each person to realize what they truly are, to gain insight into their soul and to THEN motivate the individual to let the discovery of their spiritual essence inside become the drive throughout their life, so the spirit can live in this lifetime and be free.

What an amazing day it turned out to be. There were around 300 people in the audience, Michael was on stage, with his wife—who was playing music and singing at certain intervals (she’s got the most amazingly powerful voice by the way, totally blew me away) I sat at the back, in my own zone, and how at home I felt! At first when I saw him on stage, it was like: wouw, a celebrity… But that soon wore-off when I realized that everything he said, is everything I’ve been writing about, living by and feeling from a deeper level. I felt at home because it was like somebody was finally speaking the language that goes round and round my head, all day long, with little means to express it! And it got even better, when I realized that not only was Michael speaking and living this language, but 80% of the people in the room, spoke that same language too! 

Man, how blessed I was to be surrounded by people who ‘get’ the whole process of visioning, expansion, energy and DEEP love that needs to be spread as much as possible, throughout this world; by people who meditate and GROW through every experience; by people who understand the importance of gratitude in life and know how privileged we are to be alive and on this amazing planet today; by people who ‘get’ that it’s normal to be in love with life at all times, for ‘no real reason’ at all! The seminar was full of people ONLY wishing to do good for others in this world, people with understanding of their own inner power and with strength to always realize how they themselves are the creators of their own lives, their own joy, their own destiny.

The talk went on most of the day. But he wasn’t lecturing though. Michael was just LIVING and being amazing in that state! I spoke to a few during some of the breaks and the Irish scepticism was coming through, when I heard: ‘it’s quite over the top…’ Meaning Michael’s over the top! But, oh how I would never call it that… This man loses his inhibitions; he lets himself go… without needing to have 3 beers in his belly—and THAT to me is LIVING! He totally embraces LIFE, wraps himself around it and isn’t afraid to stand up to the world and say: THIS IS HOW I AM… I AM FREE… I AM ME… I LOVE MYSELF… AND EVERYONE HAS THE NATURAL BIRTHRIGHT TO LOVE THEMSELVES JUST AS MUCH. He loses his inhibitions for the sake of getting the message of life across to the people who are stuck in their limited ways of seeing life, stuck in their little worlds of worry and pain… He’s spreading the message, using the power of his spirit… the power of his life… even when he’s not on stage… It’s not a performance, it’s a way of BEING, always… either in front of 3 people, 300 people or 3 million people… So, I‘d never consider him to be ‘over the top’… Ireland, and actually the whole world, needs to see how it can be, if we all just let ourselves go and become fearless of judgment, criticism, failing… Fearless of what ‘letting go’ of all of our ‘stuff’ will do. He’s fulfilling such a huge purpose in life: getting people to wake-up to what life is TRULY all about.

To settle or to travel

To this exact date, it’s 5 months since I left India. I came back to Ireland to edit, publish and promote my first book, to write a second and to move on again. In my mind I’d hoped to have all this ‘done’ by June. Well, well well… such unrealistic expectations I had from myself and I feel like a proper nitwit if I’m to admit that I actually thought I could do all of that AND do some proper (and MUCH needed) refuelling of the body and reconnecting with the family at the same time. Holy smoke, how much do I think I’m capable of doing! Anyhow, I realized pretty quickly that it wasn’t gonna happen! And I was totally fine with that. I was taking more time to get the first book the way I wanted and I was putting more and more focus on yoga and meditation (I’d also been sick on and off, for a few weeks in between as well). Practising the ‘art of patience’ and learning of the processes involved in publishing has really opened my eyes! Wouw… (the world behind just one simple book, is so VAST!)

The longer I’m here, the more I’m connecting with Ireland too, I’m more open to LIFE here and have met some great like-minded people. Meeting others has brought some valuable experiences and I’ve worked through huge emotional issues that were been holding me back. This has given me so much strength on all levels—especially the physical level, which was much needed. (I’m only realizing now just how weak my body had become, while I was travelling, and how dangerously low my weight had dropped. But I’ve been learning and healing whatever it was that threw me into turmoil (mainly whilst I was in China). Being in Ireland has also made me accept my heritage and my roots so much more and I feel at ease with the fact that I’m not travelling around the planet at the moment. It’s probably the first time in my life I can say this! So the relief I find in this new feeling, I can’t describe—well I probably could, but it will take too long J

 

Anyhow, this strong connection with Ireland and the feeling of GROUNDING this country gives me, COULD be the start of me wanting to settle down. Hummmm… I’ve been questioning this for quite some weeks now because  usually within 6 months of being back in Ireland, I’d have dates set and flights booked. But I haven’t. So of course there are moments when the thoughts of ‘turning my back on travels’ have led to little panic attacks and onwards to major breakdowns. Especially when people would ask me if I’m gonna settle… or if I’m gonna leave. Whenever I hear the question: ‘are you going to settle?’ it's like there’s a switch being flicked and instantly something tells me: ‘Niamh GET GOING!’ It’s the travel-bug inside of me that needs to be satisfied. In the  past this has been one of my biggest fears in LIFE: answering ‘yes’. At time I can still be terrified that if I say ‘yes’ then I’m denying myself of travel and if I say ‘no’ then I’m putting expectations and pressure on myself to make travelling to other side of the world my next step (whether or not it’s something I deeply need and want to do right now). So, what does Niamh do, seeing as though either a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ are filling her with fear? She says… ‘Hummmm…. Who knows, I have to wait and see what happens with the book’. As it stands, it's one big question mark, but even if I did know what was going to happen, I’d still never answer a plain ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Because doing that feels so limiting.

I know it’s limiting because of what the word ‘settle’ means to most people: creating a sense of security based on the stuff around us—a home, a car, a job, a partner. Creating a predictable life due to being scared of change and therefore also clinging to everything (and everyone) around us in order to feel safe in this world. 'Apparently' only in this sense of security, a person can happily depend on those ‘things’ and those ‘stable’ relationships, for life to be okay. Hummm… Is that what 'settled' means? Is this what I’m ‘supposed’ to be doing, if I’m not travelling? Am I meant to create all these ‘things’ around me, just to feel happy, accepted and a part of the ‘real’ world? 

Well, I can safely say I’m never going to create a life where my happiness is dependent on all of these ‘securities’. I’ll never create a settled life, if ‘settled living’ represents such dependent, predictable and static ways. I’ll never live life just for the sake of what others wish/want/expect me to be. 

So, this is my interpretation of being settled: I depend on NOTHING around me to give a sense of safety and I choose to feel safe, secure and settled in myself--regardless of what I have or don't have, regardless of who I'm surrounded by or not surrounded by, regardless of what place I'm in or wish to be in. I’m learning to live my own settled life, in my own way. I have my focus, I have my job… (whether or not it's classed as such by others). I have my health, I’m committed to growth and committed to moving forward, in whatever direction that may be. I have connections with amazing people, I have visions of what I need to be doing and as long as I keep them clear—by living in my own settled manner—then it’s all going to come to me. I know that if I continue to feel settled in myself, I’ll always be doing what I want and need to do. Then I have my own home, wherever I may roam. So I can happy anywhere… no longer searching the world for the perfect place, because I’ve found it in my own little space.

  

I can honestly say that I’m not scared anymore if I stay temporarily, I’m not scared if I suddenly have to go. I'm not hiding from the world, I'm not running away from this world. I'm in this world as me, without listening to the expectations people have around me. I don't care if I'm expected to settle or travel. The only thing I care about is living up to the expectation I have from myself… which is: being real and guided by spirit… instead of being guided by fears and limitations. My spirit wants to learn, grow, create, write and connect with like-minded people. And it's happening. 

Okay, I'll step back for now... without meaning to go too deep, it happened... haha...

I guess I'm just clearing up how important it is to be making choices in life that are based on INNER reality. And I can only know my own reality by letting-go of the expectations I've placed on myself (to get moving) and by letting-go of the pressure I've also placed on myself (to work wonders... asap!)... 

Wouw, these past 5 months have truly been invaluable in terms of realizing the importance there is in trusting the irrelevance of time when it comes to working and living a life that's based on personal truth, values and expression. 

Revealed to Reiki

Reiki level 1; I’ve taken the course! Yes, Saturday and Sunday I had my first introduction to Reiki. I’m pretty sure most will know what this is. If not: it’s a holistic healing method where the healer (who is actually only the channel) opens energy channels within their own body, so the healing light from a higher source comes flowing through, either into yourself (if you’re treating yourself) or into another (if you’re treating someone else). In the past I’ve received acupuncture, massage therapy, reflexology, hypnosis and counselling. And right now, meditation and yoga I do extensively (to continue the process of learning of the body, mind and soul connection). But nobody has ever treated me with Reiki before and so I’ve never even thought I would actually go ahead and learn how to treat others (and myself) with this energy. Either way, a month ago I came across an advertisement in the local Angel shop. I didn’t overthink putting my name down and voila! Suddenly I was sitting in a cosy purple little room, with another guy and the teacher, last Saturday morning. I can honestly say I was pretty blind to what I was opening myself up to. And I’m blown away by the whole thing… I reckon my life has changed (haha)… No, but seriously… it has ;) 

Okay, why does it feel to be so life-altering? Well, for a start, I never realized how potentially easy it is, for every single person on earth, to become attuned to the Reiki healing energy and to use their own channels to heal others! Of course I’ve known that everyone has channels, everyone has energy, everyone’s energy comes from the same source of life and by making a connection with that source, we can merge with greater powers; those that aren’t available to us here in the physical world. But, no, I never realized how closely the energy of Reiki is within our reach, and how empowering it is to connect in a way that enables us to pass it on.  

Without getting too much into the ‘technicalities’, I’ll just say that we had deep meditations and chakra balancing followed by the initial attuning to the Reiki energy. This meant we were able to start practising on each other. During the first sessions I realized how a calm, quiet and (preferably) empty mind (which comes from meditating prior to the practice) brings the energy to flow so easily and the healing to be so powerful. I noticed that, because I’ve been meditating regularly and have developed more focus and balance (through the yoga) that it was so simple, so straight forward and man, so rewarding! When I was practising on the other course-goer, I couldn’t believe how good it felt to be bringing such soothing, healing and empowering energies to someone else! Wouw… Another reason I was so shocked, was probably because I’ve been so used to doing meditations that wouldn’t directly benefit others. But now it’s like using meditation I can—almost directly—be benefitting someone else on a physical, emotional, mental and spiritual level. Suddenly I thought: wouw, all of this meditation has been in aid of MORE than ‘simply’ calming the mind and sourcing energy!!! Yay! That afternoon, time was suddenly flying as the energy just kept on flowing, flowing, flowing…with the hands hovering above the body, being guided to where the individual needed healing. Man, it was amazing to be connected to a power source that’s instantly doing another person wonders.

So how would this change my life? Well, considering I didn’t really expect too much from the course, it’s quite a change to now want to make it a priority in my life. I can’t tell you how excited I am to have found something that is initially done for the sake of helping another individual. And whatever deep satisfaction I receive in return, is a huge bonus :) What a revealing weekend! I felt for 2 days I’d left Arklow and travelled all over, so I could be (once again) amazed by how bright life becomes when we discover something that feels so right. What a journey!  

More to life...???

Someone asked me yesterday, ‘what are you doing tomorrow?’ After a moment of pondering, I said, ‘Maybe I’ll do some writing.’ The reaction I got, along with a sigh, was, ‘There has to be more to life than writing.’ What was my reply in turn? ‘At this moment in time, no there’s not.’ The remark didn’t throw me on the ‘defence-fence’. I didn’t feel the need to explain WHY I write every day. Not at all. It wasn’t until afterwards, however, those words started roaming around my head: ‘There has to be more to life than writing.’ Even this morning, I couldn’t let the remark go. It got me questioning of course, if there really is MORE to life than writing. Has my life become bland and mundane, isolated and dull, withdrawn and predictable, lonely and disconnected from the world?

Hummmm… This really triggered an element of doubt and I was persuaded to take a step back and properly question if—here in Ireland, at this moment in time—I SHOULD be focussing on other things, instead of putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) as frequently as I can. So much became clear, by doing so.

I questioned first, what I’m actually writing about. It’s a second book ABOUT MY LIFE. So his remark was telling me there’s more to life than my life. From his perspective, of course there’s more to his life than my life! But from my perspective, is there more to my life than my own life? No there’s not. Or maybe he meant: there’s more to Niamh than writing. Hummm… I didn’t take it that way, because I’ve no doubts there’s more to me than writing. I know if I put my mind to anything, I can do it. But, at this moment in time, I’ve chosen this direction and I’m not limiting myself. Instead I’m expanding the writing potential I have and healthily pushing boundaries. I also know it’s a project that’s letting me feel more established with steadier footing in life—which is something I’m definitely in need of. Wouw… it really IS all about perception!

Anyhow, I can understand why an outsider, who has no idea as to how deep writing goes for me, will question WHY such seclusion, such alone time, such predictability in my daily routine and such absorption in one ‘simple’ but oh so powerful expression. An outsider, who doesn’t know a fraction of how writing MOVES me through life, can never understand what it means.

Again, it’s about perspective and perception!

Still, realizing this, didn’t mean I was through questioning. At this point in time, I can safely say that writing about my experiences, is setting me free. Accumulating my stories and creating something that nobody else on this earth has EVER created or EVER lived through and experienced in THE EXACT same manner as I’ve done, is something more deep and meaningful than anything in life. So I let myself happily get consumed by something so powerful, so freeing. I let myself be observed and labelled by others as being a wandering soul, a loner, a withdrawn individual in search of something. And instead of being limited, mundane and lonely, I’m know inside that I’m the opposite! Because of this, I don’t mind that I have to use isolation, predictable routines and withdrawal in order to be currently living a life that is unlimited and full of mystery. As for being alone; I know that like-minded people will enter when the time is right.   

I’m nearly done with the self-analogy for now. Just one more thing. I questioned this location and found that Ireland pushes me to write and to create my own world. It’s the second time it’s doing this to me! Maybe it’s because there’s no other way I’d happily stay, if I wasn’t here for this purpose. Maybe it’s because I won’t adopt the same ‘9 to 5 lifestyle’ as the majority in society and writing is a tool that lets me escape from THEIR reality so I can safely create my own—without being judged, criticized, influenced to remain the same, persuaded to follow the mass or coaxed to come down to earth and to ‘get real’. Others may say I’m escaping real life, but really life is inside of us. And by choosing to go into my own world and writing about that world, I’m escaping nothing and facing all the colours I am—both light and dark. And if Ireland persuades me to connect with myself so deeply, then I surely can’t be that disconnected from this country, this energy… otherwise I’d be ignorant to what Ireland brings out in me! And I can safely say, after these four months of being here: I love Ireland more than ever. This makes me see so clearly there’s no disconnection and no escapism taking place on this leg of my journey. Because writing DOES let me travel, I take myself on my own tours and it’s for the sake of releasing the past and creating a free and open future that will welcome my spirit with open arms. 

So even when I struggle, I know I’m moving myself forward. Even when I’m sitting at my desk for hours staring out at the same view, I’m bringing myself to see amazing sights of the world. In those sightings, I see my past self and my present self. When I don’t speak a word for hours on end, I’m flowing with words and I’m narrating my life to anyone and everyone who will—in due time—be open to reading the experiences I’ve had and the lessons I’m so grateful to have received. What an amazing trip... Brought clearly to my awareness by one remark someone made last night! Gotta love it!