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Saturday, January 22, 2011

New appreciation

To continue unravelling the China Chapter... Back in the Summer I tried to get myself to China, but it was different. I can see now that it was for all for the wrong reasons. Teaching English in China, was JUST to keep myself the road – that was leading me away from Ireland. I remember what my sister Emma said to me when we were speaking of China (in July)… She suggested I take a time-out in Ireland and once my body was refuelled, I’d travel to far east Asia and have fresh experiences. She was actually predicting what’s happening right now! But, I had such a different mind-set than the one I have today. In July I didn’t even think of going to China as being an amazing experience! All I could think about was: get me out of Europe and Please let the journey around the world continue! I didn’t think along the lines of true appreciation for the fact that I could get myself a teaching job on the otherside of the world… Oh no! I was driven by a passion and maybe even an obsession – but was pushing it to its limits and causing myself to be blinded by the experiences I was actually undergoing.

But now, it’s so different. I realized that back in July when I spoke of teaching my heart wasn’t in it. It was purely a means to an end – focussed on setting myself up financially. But now, my heart really feels it already. When I was taking the interview I felt it… and that’s the main reassurance I used when I accepted the position. When that certainty is there, that the job isn’t a means to an end, but a passage that will bring me into the world again so I can healthily continue travelling, appreciating and embracing, then doesn’t the ‘fear’ of the contract instantly vanish! Yes! And when I focus on how much life I feel when I’m in front of a classroom full of kids, then isn’t that sense of life enough to keep me free to express myself and to embrace the next step! Yes! I reckon so…

I kept all of this ever so quiet, up until Christmas, because the visa hadn’t come through. When I accepted the job, they told me it would take around 6 weeks for the working permit to be approved on their end. Then it would need to be sorted, here on my end. For weeks, I put all of my energies into the book and I felt amazed that the road to China was being carved, without any effort on my behalf!

At Christmas I started to tell some close friends in Holland about my plans and when I came back to Ireland, I felt so strongly that my visa WOULD be approved, no matter what! And guess what… Last week Monday I opened my email and there it was! The recruitment agency had sent me an email stating that the visa had come through and that the documents were being sent to me! I couldn’t believe it! It was really happening! I cried (only a few tears of happiness and relief..haha)! The documents should be falling on the doormat any day now, and then it won’t be long before a date will be set. I’m expected to leave around the middle of February!

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