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Friday, January 7, 2011

For the record...

Why is that, once something has been said, instantly those who have been told, expect things to fall into place and to happen over night? Doesn't everyone know the way in which the world works? Things don't just come falling out of the sky, once we've wished for them to happen or once we've admitted to the dream we're pursuing, the project we're working on or one particular thing we're trying to 'get off the ground'. The things we dream of and pursue in life don't always happen with the click of a switch. Yet, most people, when they don't see results in the physical world, automatically presume that nothing is being done nor is there any progress being made.

In relation to what's going on in my life at the moment, I can honestly say, that patience and trust, on behalf of the one who is 'getting things off the ground' and pursuing a life long dream, is what must be practised. Those around us, can encourage and enquire: "what's happening.. is there any news and how long more to go..?" Sometimes I'm actually astounded, blown-away and sent into a frenzied state of mind, by the height of expectations others can have when they view somebody's life and expect a life long dream to instantly be realized.

In many ways, this goes with the territory I've been walking upon, ever since I decided to share my book-adventure here on this blog. Telling the world, constantly, of what's going on, brings instant expectations. This can either work with me, when I choose to be amazed and speechless for the support others offer OR it can work against me, when I choose to feel frenzied by the pressure that comes from others (which I feel I must live up to). It was my choice to keep others informed, so it's also my choice to interpret those expectations as either support that will energize me or as negative pressure that will frustrate me (if I feel I can't live up to the expectations others have of me). It's all down to me. I never wanted to stop sharing my dreams, my plans and the steps that have been unfolding, since returning back to Ireland. It would have been strange to stop sharing and life would have been a lot less exciting without having my blog as a method of connection and communication with those I cherish so much. So I don't need to doubt that my decision to share my dream was wrong. It's all apart of the process and the journey of life..

I wonder though... Can I turn-off to others expectancies that my book will be on the shelves within a few months? Can I seriously 'keep it real' in terms of the length of time it could take before it goes to print? I've recently read that many writers have struggled MORE when publishing a book than throughout the actual writing of it. How can anyone expect my book to already be at the printers? How can anybody expect that, within 2 weeks, a publishing house would have taken my book on board? The reality is, a book can be rejected up to 50 times, before a publisher decides to take it! Seriously!!! I've been doing some research over the past week, and this is the harsh reality of the world of book publishing - no matter how positive, determined and trusting a person can be that a dream will be realized!

Given the fact that I'm ALSO dreaming to soon travel again, I figure I need to make a choice. If I decide to self-publish - which is a hard road to take, requiring a constant flow of cash, time, energy and 100% focus, for as long as the process takes - then all travel plans would be put-off for the foreseeable future. If I decide to approach publishing houses, then it's a different road altogether. It could take longer, because it needs to be accepted by the editors - in comparison to self-publishing, where the book doesn't need to be accepted by anybody other than the bookshop, meaning it isn't always as big a hurdle to overcome as the one of being accepted by a publishing house that’s continuously bombarded with hundreds of book each month and may only accept...10!

So, for the record, my book ISN'T at the printers! I wish I wish I wish I wish this would be the case.. At this very moment, I'm not going to hold back on how much I wish for me to have reached that stage of the 'unfolding book story'!!! As it stands, I'm in the process of contacting only 3 or 4 people who will proof-read the manuscript. I don't feel like the script has reached its ultimate peak of perfection, just yet. 'Perfect' it will never be in the eyes of the whole world. And that’s not my aim. My aim is for me to feel its perfection when it's reached that status, in my own eyes. It won’t be until I feel I COULD self-publish, because that’s when I know there's nothing more I'd change or edit. When I reach that level of 'perfection', then I'll be confidently approaching publishing houses. Choosing for a few to proof-read the script, is for me to receive constructive criticism, so I can work from that point and feel more certain that it's as good as it could ever be.

I'm not going to let the expectations frustrate the progress, because I'll feel the pressure and I too - just like the rest of the ‘world’ - will need to see results. So, it’s a process that takes time. And the world doesn't always work as fast as we would often wish it to. These are the challenges we're faced with. Visible results are proof of success, to the vast majority within the world. But, I've learnt that invisible and untouchable results can be sometimes even more rewarding and provide a deeper sense of personal success - especially when we turn off to what others expect. That, in itself, gives the reward of freedom from the judgemental world and unaffectedness by the pressures from outside of ourselves and we can still remain happily open and honest about where we're heading in life, what we're dreaming of and how the reality of the situation either supports that dream or makes it slightly more challenging to attain.

So, on that note; my research continues, my script will be proof-read and, even though a result may not appear in the eyes of others, it's appearing on the horizon. The distance between myself and the arising result is so far that I can't determine the exact road, the exact length of time or the exact obstacles. It’s still untouchable. But in due time, it will be touched and not only by myself, but also by others! Watch this space...

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