Well, it's happened. Such a turn of events. This means that my leaving will bring up different 'stuff' too. I realize now, that I don't need to close the door behind me when I leave on Monday. I can and will and already AM counting my blessings for how these past 6 months have planned out. Ireland brought out the writer in me. The dream I had, when leaving India, was to 'establish myself as a writer'. I wanted soooo badly to create foundations of a writer. And I've done it; I've put into practise that I CAN sit behind a computer screen for months on end, producing something I (personally) can only consider as being a special creation. Yes yes yes... It's happened!!! And I've actually gone further than I thought I would. I've learnt things I pressumed I already knew... Man oh man... I've 'healed' my past issues all over again and I feel more free than ever before. I've opened this door, the foundations are in place and I won't be closing it simply because I'm leaving.
The world and the coincidences that have been guiding me throughout this whole process, only mean that I'm on the right track and that I've given more of myself to carving this path, than I ever felt I was capable of giving.
Like every other place I've been to, I've always left the door open. But Ireland was always the only one I closed tightly everytime I boarded a plane – it was almost for fear of what could happen if I left it open. Because an open door always means there's still opportunities that can draw a person back to that certain place. I know now the opporutinities Ireland offers me, in terms of living the life I dream of. Ireland offers me the foundations of self-expression and writing. That's it. And why would I want to close the door to something that feels so brilliant!
On occasion, over the past weeks, I've been wondering if I'm turning my back on my book and on the writing I do. Am I stopping things from happening, by leaving? If I were to close the door, then yes I'd be turning away. But I'm leaving it open and this is a huge adjustment.
And what happened yesterday (Friday) was proof that the opportunities are still coming my way.. I did another radio interview on Thursday for the same radio station. And to cut an extremely long story short and to avoid getting into a detailed description of the coincidences that accured yesterday after noon, I'll 'cut to the chase' and update on what came from this second interview. Yesterday evening I got a call from an agent in Dublin, who has only just started up his new business and is looking for writers!!!! We chatted on the phone, I then sent him my first 2 chapters and we'll be keeping in touch! I couldn't believe it... I even asked him if it would be a problem that I'm moving to China on Monday, and it's not an issue! Now, the only issue is; does he like what he reads and does he therefore want to take me on... That's always the question of course!!! hahaha... And time will reveal all!
I couldn't believe it though, that up until one of my very last days of being in Ireland, the process is still ongoing... I'm making it happen, it's all working and when I get to China there's nothing stopping me from working my ass off, to get the book 'out there' and to be a happy teacher at the same time! There's no reason for this NOT to work.
I feel so ready now. I feel so sure that this is the only direction in which I can head, at this moment in time.. To China. We STILL can never know what will come of the decisions we make, but to be certain that it's all in aid of so much more (whatever that may be) is more information than I can process for the moment!! haha....