May holiday - Shivers strike

I’m only realizing now just how life was getting on top of me… And sure enough, what happens when a person has been constantly running and on the go, without taking any proper time to wind-down? When they DO FINALLY wind-down, they get sick. And yes, this is what happened…

Saturday night, after I’d finished setting up my new home, I felt a weight lifted and I suddenly allowed to ‘stop’ running – which is what I’d been doing for weeks in order to find my own space. So my home was set up and I went to bed as happy as larry. I woke-up at 1.30am feeling cold. Humm… strange, it wasn’t that cold outside… I figured I must in need of an extra quilt. But soon, what started as just the chills turned into me shivering so badly that my teeth were challenged in staying rooted in my mouth. Man, I’ve never had such a bout of the shakes before in my whole life. I was frozen solid. It was like I was possessed by something and I had no way of getting rid of it. I then went into some sort of crazy daze and was struck by so many emotions and didn’t know if or how I’d ever get passed what it was that was happening.

Then it struck me: most people are out of town. If this was going to get worse I had nobody to get help from. Sh*t. I then wondered how bad I would let myself get, before trying to seek help. Usually when I’m sick I’ll always brush it to one side and see it as nothing major. But Saturday night, this bout of the shakes seriously scared me. And the fact that help wasn’t readily at hand, made it all the worse. Was there anybody I could have called on, who speaks English, were it to get worse? Yes, I’m sure that one of the contacts I’ve got, would have been able to help me. But in that moment, it felt like there was nobody.

I plonked myself on the sofa and set up my bed there… hoping that the living room would feel a little warmer. 2 duvets and 4 layers of clothes and suddenly it was the morning. The last thing I remember before falling to sleep, was the trembling and shaking that was going through every part of my body. I then opened my eyes, it was light and I could hear and feel nothing… only peace. Thank god… My shivers that were first uncontrollable had stopped and I was so calm. I still felt like sh*t however, but that didn’t matter. I was just delighted that the shaking had stopped. And for the first time in over a year in I don’t know how long I stayed on the sofa all day. All I wanted was peace and quiet and rest. I had to get passed whatever it was that had gotten into me, over the past few days. I ended up sleeping the day away, right through till this morning… Every hour or so, I’d wake and I’d snuggle up a little bit more and let myself fall back asleep again… I didn’t think I’d sleep during the night, for sleeping so much during the day, but I did. I was shocked… In a day and a half, I slept for nearly 30 hours! My holy moly…

I must have been in desperate need of rest. And the only way I’d permit myself to rest was by being forced to slow down by this flu-thing in my lungs. Man it’s crazy the way things plan out. I’m even more delighted that I didn’t go to Beijing for the May holiday.

Ridding myself of this thing I’ve got, will make me all brand new and I’m properly refuelling… And yesterday, in between the sleep, I couldn’t help but feel so grateful to be in this home whilst feeling so sick. It made it so much more comforting. I also know for future reference (and thinking with a more rational mind) that if anything ever happens, I can always call on Chinese speaking English teachers or English speaking Chinese contacts to help me, no matter what time of the day or night. I’m not alone. I’m never alone. So, from here on in, the adventure unfolds, from this home-base I’ve now created. Yes, life is so good!