What a turn around this week has been. I can only say that a change in my approach towards work and towards certain colleagues has proven to be so possible and so… easy!
I’ve somehow managed to rid myself of the pressure I was putting myself under as well as to remove the invisible guard I was holding on to and suddenly it’s like… I can be as unaffected as I want to be by the vibes that are flying through the office. I’m not choosing to ‘suck it up’… instead I’m turning away from whatever it is that doesn’t make me happy and facing towards the things that do…
The past few days I’ve been speaking to a few girls from work; Elaine, Helen and Sophia in particular. It’s helped me so much in keeping a scope on the bigger picture of what I’m doing and why I’m here. And as each day has passed, I’ve been realizing just how insignificant the issues in the office really are. Because, even though I did feel awful, what it comes down to is that I’m the one who always has the choice to either continue feeling awful in a situation OR change my own outlook and approach towards the situation I’m placed in. That way, whatever I get in return will change too… and it can only be for the better.
So, by choosing to spend my time with certain people who I class as true friends, outside of work, I always give as well as take the much needed support. I’m not an island and I don’t thrive on 100% isolation. I want contact and I need to have good people in my life. And I have these things. I’ve got a life now that’s somewhat detached from the office. A life with others and yes, when the time to write comes on a daily basis, I also have a life with only myself… All of these things… along with connecting with people through email, and having contact with my little ‘kids’… and just generally loving the job… life is so good.
I guess I’m learning that by aiming to experience life on as ‘high’ a note as possible, then when the ‘tiniest’ issue comes along and either threatens or succeeds in bringing the level of that ‘high’ down by even the smallest of fractions, it can feel to be like an explosion and it’s almost the end of the world.
I know I’ll always do everything I can in life to be 100% happy ALL OF THE TIME and if I’m not then I’ll do everything I can to fix it. And I’m constantly fixing ‘it’… or ME should I say! Because I know to change the circumstances around me, isn’t always possible and to change the people around me, is definitely not possible. Instead I ‘fix’ whatever error I see in myself and so, the world I see and experience will always change too.
A constant change in life is a positive thing to experience – initially it may not always feel to be as good as can be, but ALWAYS it will be positive. If we’re patient, we’ll see the goodness. And being open to change, whether it’s good or bad, always brings new things into our lives and it keeps things fresh. The opportunities then appear and also our contacts and connections with others become more meaningful and so, we’ll always be taught and helped to progress in life… This leads to the circumstances around us to always be changing…
It’s like a cycle… Not a circle, and definitely not a vicious one… Nor is it a goal. But instead it’s a spiral that only moves onwards and upwards… And it can only be good, right?!
I figure: why would a person settle for a smaller dose of happiness and excitement in life, when they know they can have as big a dose as they wish for? We only have this one life…
I suppose, right now, I’m just wondering why I put such focus on the issues that everybody, everywhere, deals with on a daily basis… issues they feel are unimportant and things we should simple ‘suck up’. Well, I reckon I’ve sussed it out… Firstly it’s because those gut feelings I get, are impossible to turn away from and therefore I need to deal. Secondly… it’s because by over-thinking and analyzing as I do, I’m led to do the main thing in life that gives me excitement, happiness and a feeling of freedom. And it’s this ‘bla bla bla’ I do on my blog, and almost everywhere else too
Whatever comes rolling from my fingertips here on these pages and however much focus I put on what others may class as insignificant in life, makes every issue almost worthwhile… meaning I’m happy to experience it all… if whatever life throws at me gets me to write…
I’ve come up with the following conclusion: Life presents challenges. Challenges lead to writing. Writing leads to excitement and happiness. Happiness is what life is all about. And so… the circle is complete… or no… it’s never complete; it’s an ongoing story, just as is this life… It’s the spiral that will always be moving onwards and upwards… in a circular motion… yes… This is good… Life is so good!
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