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Thursday, March 8, 2012

What a machine I've been given!!!

On Monday morning I opened my ‘office doors’ again. They’d been closed for quite some months… 12 to be exact. And it’s not exactly an office, by the way. It’s ‘just’ a desk in front of the window, in my 2 by 3 bedroom. It so great though to have this space; no distractions, no pressure… only me! This is also where I wrote the book, all those months ago. And the view has remained the same. I can still see into the neighbours gardens… the kids have grown and the dog has gotten older, but other than that, the view is exactly how it remember it to be. When I was in India, often thinking of where to write, my mind would bring me back here. And now it’s where I’m sitting.

It’s quite strange how I’ve lifted myself up out of one situation and thrown myself into another; meaning teaching in India up until a month ago and now being in full writing mode, in Ireland. It’s crazy how easy these changes can sometimes happen and when I go back over HOW it happened, I can’t properly see how it all came about.

I’ve actually been having the strangest moments of wondering how my body has adjusted, yet again, to the different environment, different food, different daily rhythm, different climate and different ‘minded’ people. How have I managed to, once again, let it all happen so ‘easily’? Many will say: ‘it’s not rocket science Niamh… our bodies are able to adjust to all new situations and environments.’ But really it is rocket science! Or maybe the fact that we, as individual people, don’t crumble and fall when we go through drastic changes. Our spirit is strong and our minds can cope with the new circumstances.

At the moment I’m trying to see the ventures I’ve taken to. I’m pondering how amazing our bodies are, as they are capable of dealing with the emotions that come along whilst moving and changing life styles so often, so easily yet so dramatically.

Years ago I’d never really care about how I got myself moving. I never questioned the emotions I’d need to deal with and I’d never really concern myself with the fact that mentally juggling a life of travel, by my self, could be a reason for emotionally struggling in life. I totally took for granted that the body would get me to where I wanted to be, so I could live out all the stories I’ve come to experience. When I was ‘young’… I never properly reflected on how travelling, working and moving can disrupt a person in every which way possible. I never knew that disruption could be taking place underneath, but that our mind would blank it out in order to keep us moving. I’m slowly seeing how I ran my body from one place to the next, never doubting my ability to adjust to different lifestyles. I never once considered my physical self would one day tell me to STOP.

I guess it’s about establishing the balance between moving and resting. And then we have to answer the question: how frequently must we stop and let our body catch up with itself, and how often, or when, is it time to say: ‘get up and go again, because life is waiting and it needs to lived!’ How long are we resting, before it becomes ‘doing nothing and being lazy’? And how often should we be moving, before ‘getting up and going’ becomes a race?

Now that I’m 28… (29 at the end of the month), I’m feeling that travel can have a strain on the body. 'That's normal', most would say! And to that I answer: I was ignorant to this fact… and maybe now I AM literally weak… and have become this, as a result of not wanting to show ‘a weak spirit’ to the world, by resting and not traveling? Hummm… that’s worth more pondering, and maybe more words!

Anyhow, to stay on the topic: what I once considered to be the most normal and easiest thing to do in the world, is now something I realize that's not so normal or easy at all… However I did put my body through it and it's always supported what I was willing to do, even if it did sometimes cry out for me to listen to it, and let it catch its breath.

Yes, I know to strengthen the body, it needs to be faced with challenges… how else can it be placed out of its comfort zone and naturally coaxed to adjust and accept the surrounding environment? Only by putting the body, and the mind for that matter, in different situations, are we able to feel its powers as well as its limitations. If the power is more evident that the limitations then the body will always be FINE throughout every single change. The body NEEDS this change, just as our lives do. Nothing is ever static, so we shouldn’t be either. And should we have become static, then there’s no flow…

If I’m to relate this to my current situation, I have to see that these changes in situations, environments and relationships, are apart of me finding my own powers and limitations, especially on a physical level. I need to use those ‘findings’ as a tool to release the limits that exist and I need to use the power to overcome the limitations. So change is needed; we can learn, evaluate and move forward into the world.

Growing ‘older’ (but mentally still feeling like a 21 year old!!!) and realizing my limits, but also realizing the potential I have to get passed those limits, will only strengthen my who self. Growing ‘older’ and learning to care for the physical body and appreciate what it’s capable of, will only give more power to my spirit… and hopefully I’ll grow younger…haha!

Right now, my body and spirit are keeping me here. That’s as it should be. My awareness that physical limitations do exist, means a change is happening, for the better. My spirit, for the first time in my life, is not running to every other corner on earth. My mind has moments of panic, I admit. It’s sometimes terrified that travels are over FOREVER, because of returning to Ireland (don’t you love the way the mind exaggerates EVERYTHING!!!) But, I don't that part of the mind any power, because I know here in Ireland I have more freedom than I’d have anywhere else in the world, at this point in time.

And it’s very true what they say: there’s a time for coming and a time for going. Right now, there’s complete focus that will strengthen my whole self… until my body and mind and spirit are ready to move onwards again. What amazing machines we all own… it just takes a while for that truth to hit home and it takes even longer to give it the respect it deserves… sometimes it could even take a whole life time!

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