Intoxicated I was..

Out and about in Brisbane city. Another quiet night, or that was the initial plan. Not that a plan had been made, so nothing was expected and therefore without any expectations a few hours can end up going in so many different directions.

I can laugh about it now and it doesn't really bother me. On the night I was told I'd be able to laugh about it, rather than cry as I did on Friday night. How silly I was and what an exaggerated reaction. So personal I took it, but so impersonal it was meant to be.

Thursday and Friday I spent in the city. The weather was so much better than the days before. It was dry again and mild. So there was nothing stopping me from getting on the train and heading off for a while. Both days were so cool. I hung out, walked, talked, drank, played pool, shopped and all was well. On Friday night, as I was still out and about with Manny, Johnnie and Keryn, we ended up going to a nightclub that had whole load of different halls with live music, pool tables, dance floors and pubs. We wanted to play some pool and weren't going to make it a big night.. Humm; those oh so familiar and so very famous last words..

We had been drinking from around 6 and I had only had 4 glasses of wine, by 10 o'clock. Nothing excessive.. Right? Well, in my eyes, it wasn't. But in others it somehow seemed to be. At around this time, we were still playing pool and probably getting very loud. We were playing with some other guys we had just met, who were also on their way to getting pretty drunk. We seemed to get caught up in the buzz, the excitement of winning and the happy times.. Me being me, I got louder and louder without realizing it. Because of the environment we were in, looking back, we probably were annoying and seeming to have had far to drink than was actually the case (which makes the whole thing seem so unfair). So taking this into consideration I now can see the reason as to why the bouncers suddenly came up to us and told the blokes we had just met that they had to leave because they were drunk and then turn to me and say that I was the next one to leave..

I couldn't believe it, I was being kicked-out of this nightclub for being too happy and too loud and basically too excited by everything!! The 3 others, weren't being told to leave. It was only me. My first reaction was that they were joking..but they weren't when they still pointed so arrogantly at me telling me I was intoxicated! That's the word these 2 bouncers were using! I hadn't done anything wrong.. What were they talking about? Why me? I was shocked and took this so personally. The others tried to reason with the bouncers saying that I was fine, I wasn't drunk and I wasn't causing any problems, while I cried my eyes out in the toilet. I wanted to just stay locked in the toilet and let it all blow over. But they were waiting for me and were still adamant that I was intoxicated. All I could do was leave. It was so early, the night was still so young and I was still in party-mode, but they were having none of it. I couldn't speak anymore, so I just walked out of there feeling attacked and totally confused. I hadn't smashed up the place, I hadn't abused anybody, I hadn't broken any glasses. I was just enjoying myself.

I left and the others came after me. I was so upset and looking back my reaction might suggest I was tipsy. But wasn't every person in that nightclub tipsy?? As I had stormed off in tears, I couldn't speak and I felt so awful. "Intoxicated, intoxicated, intoxicated.." Was I really that bad? Was I really a disturbance? Was I in denial that I probably was intoxicated after having 4 glasses of wine..? If I was so intoxicated how come I can still recall everything that happened? I can even remember the bouncers and that old fashioned curly moustache from the oldest guy and that blond hair from the youngest. I can still recall how numb I felt, as I stood against the wall outside. That's the only word I could use to describe how I felt.

A normal person probably would have laughed it off, especially after hearing the word intoxicated being used to describe the state of being, and they would have more than likely just start singing Britney Spears song.. "intoxicate me now.. ". But not me, oh no, I make a huge drama out of it. In the meantime Manny was sticking up for me, talking to the bouncers and at one point the manager. They said it was nothing personal but that they could see what was happening, they had been watching me. They also said that if I'm sober tomorrow I could come back(!!), there's no worries, I wasn't barred but for now I was just intoxicated. All Manny could say was "But we're all bloody intoxicated.. the whole lot of us!!" How sweet of him, even if he was or wasn't intoxicated like me, to make a stand.. :)

I was still feeling numb and couldn't speak. I had to go home. I had changed so dramatically, from feeling up to feeling down. Manny, Keryn and Johnnie were so great. Really they were. They said all the right things as we went to another pub for a short while. We sat out in the rain outside, I had a coke and it was then that I was told I'd be able to laugh about it. I stayed in Keryns that night and when we got back to her house, after a great train journey home, all was forgotten and we had an unexpected pajama party. We all got into a pair of jimjams (as the ozzies would call them), we had sweets and crisps, danced the macarena and drank TEA and COFFEE.. So another "Up" after feeling down. How great it all was in the end, and sure enough yesterday as we were telling the story to Trish, we all laughed about it..even me.