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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

My last daze

A daze is what I experienced, during my last 2 days in the Ashram. From Wednesday night onwards I started to feel not so good. Sleep was turning into a time when my mind wanted to go crazy.. And being awake was then turning into the time when all I needed and wanted was sleep. So, it was only natural that something was going to give, and of course it did. My body wanted rest and the only way it new it would get some was by making me get a good dose of the flu. From Wednesday night onwards I had fever, aches, pains, a cold and was physically exhausted. I pushed myself through one more yoga class on Thursday morning, until I could hardly walk and then I decided to act sensibly for a change. So I spent my last full day at that amazing place, in bed.

As I lay there on Thursday afternoon I knew I had to leave the ashram the following morning. I had a 17-hour train ride booked! But I seriously doubted if I was able to make it out of bed within the following12 hours. I felt panic and pressure. But I knew I could make myself feel energized. I knew if I really wanted to make it onto that train, I would. And of course, I did. I woke up on the Friday morning, after having used every “technique” I own, to get all my inner strength together - seeing as though I didn’t have in my body at that time - and I felt a lot better. The aches were gone so my body would get me there. My head was still sore and fuzzy and I still had a cold, but I was fine to actually move and to get through an overnight train ride. All was well and good in my world.

I left on Friday morning (the 9th). And I didn’t feel relieved, nor did I feel sad. I felt amazing to have experienced it. I felt blessed by the people I met and those who I connected with instantly and managed to help and who helped me. They all inspired me in someway and left a lasting impression. About the yoga itself, I learnt so much. These precious days gave me more than I dared hope to gain and it’s amazing. I left in the reassurance that it was my time to move on and Chennai was the right place for me to be going.

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