Right! Niamh has made a decision! All through the help of some dear friends, some advice from others and also through just following signs that she simply could not ignore.
Saturday morning I was faced with the dilemma of either going to Chennai to check out the German school that is offering me quite a good job opportunity with great perks or to simply hang around Cochin and Kerala for a week and a half waiting for the internship, which could last up to 2 months, with the college students to start. I figured I had nothing to loose if I go to Chennai. Checking out the school, will either push in the direction of making that particular job happen or it could push me in the direction of something I might yet have to discover.
Today is Monday. I'm leaving Cochin tonight. And it's time!! I'm so ready to leave, it's not even funny! I've spent 4 weeks here now, and tonight I'm getting the night train, which takes 12 hours and tomorrow morning I'll get to Chennai. I've been offered a place to stay for a few days, with Jayanthi - a girl I did the teaching course with - who lives near the school that is possibly offering me a job. I have no reason NOT to go, at this point in time. It will be good to have a change of scenery and see some more of India too. A little adventure..
I felt so much better on Saturday, once I had made the decision. And really, it wasn't even that big of a deal. It typical of "me", if I'm honest: making things far more complicated than they really are. So I did feel pretty sure I was making the right decision, in going to see the school. But, at this point, I'm not really bothered if it doesn't work out. How bad is that? I don't know where this feeling has come from: Maybe because I wasn't getting great vibes from the various telephone conversations I had with some members of staff, over the past week; maybe it's the fear of committing to something that could be longterm and losing my "freedom"; maybe it's the fact that it's a German school. It's more than likely a combination of all these factors. I'm convinced though that I have to go, even if it's for reasons I'm not yet aware of. It feels great to be going from Cochin. It feels great that I'm following the inevitable signs. But it doesn't feel great thinking that my gut-feeling isn't supporting my actions right now. Or, I re-phrase that: my gut-feeling is telling me to go, but it's not exciting me one bit. It's not making me want to take this job. As I already pointed out: I'm not too bothered what happens when I get there. I just know I must go.
It's probably the best attitude to have. I'm expecting nothing whatsoever, so I'll never be disappointed! That's a nice feeling to have!! So with that, I'm safe and secure. So Chennai here I come, and from there I'll know what to do!
The past weekend, it's been extremely quiet. All I've been doing is researching on the Internet, writing loads, reading books and processing the past "chapter" of my Indian story. I've been quiet. I've met nobody. I've spoken only with the owner of the guesthouse I'm staying at, the guy from the Internet place and the waiters at the restaurant I visit each day. So so quiet. But it's been great.
The highlight of my weekend: Picture this: Niamh is walking along the pavement with 2bags of fruit, happy in her own little world. Suddenly something came into her vision; something was walking along the pavement, she was catching-up to this something that had a massive big butt, a tail, a brownish coat and it was relieving itself of some waste, which was also brown, as it strolled along the pavement on that lazy Sunday, and extremely sunny, afternoon. It was a COW!! I actually was approaching this cow, on the pavement, in the middle of the city. It must have been let loose, on the run or simply bored.. Nobody was shocked. People just did as I did: they passed it by. I wasn't sure whether to be wary of it maybe attacking me for my pineapple and watermelon! I overtook it on the pavement. Then I had to wait to cross the road and it started to catch up with me again. Oh no.. the cow was approaching me and giving me the evil eye. I suddenly got a little flutter and continued to walk; you just never know what could be going on inside the head of a cow that is on the loose! It made me smile and I felt so brilliant just by seeing that cow.
O yeah, now that I'm on the topic of "animals on the loose": just an hour ago, here in the Internet place, there was this squawking noise coming from underneath my chair.. what was it?? A chicken on the loose!! It was tonights' dinner! This place continues to make me laugh and it's little things like the cow and chicken encounter, that remind me of where I am. Sometimes with trying to make certain things happen and making plans and figuring out this journey, I can easily forget my surroundings and loose sight of the country I'm presently in; until I catch sight of a cow walking along the street!