My initial purpose for coming to Chennai, if you recall, was for a possible job opportunity. Last week I shared my dilemma with you: whether or not to come here and check-out the really good job opportunity I got offered, from an International German school (it's also private school). I was debating between 2 possible job opportunities and the events turned-out to be leading me or pushing me almost, to come to Chennai so I could visit the school and meet the people. I felt I had to come, even if it was to find out that the German school wasn't the place I wanted to work.
Wednesday morning me and Jayanthi, who is ALSO the one who got me in touch with this school in the first place (so if it wasn't for her, I'd not be here at all-how amazing!), went to the school. I had no expectations whatsoever. I didn't want to hope for the people, the atmosphere or the surroundings to be a certain way. That way there would be no dreams or imaginings to come crashing down around me. And it served me so well, to have this attitude. It was amazing! I walked in, and was overwhelmed by everything. I was excited by what I saw. I was so happy to see this environment. The amount of students at the moment is very little, as it's a school that has only just opened its doors a few months ago. But I was walking around this small school that felt so homely and clean and fresh and I could envision all the little kids that would start filling the classrooms. I was so happy to think there were going to be little children that would get the chance to be in school like this and that I could possibly be apart of it, started to really make me feel so happy! The area it's in, felt like a dream almost. The sea was just down the road, the road leading to it was so peaceful. I didn’t feel to be in city at all and that’s probably what I loved most about the area. I even got on well with the head of the school, who is from Germany I might add, just like 2 of the other teachers I got to meet. There's also a girl from Belgium working there. How small is this world! What a strange situation I “magically” landed myself in: I was in this school, speaking all of my languages at the same time, ASWELL as savoring the sight of the small number of sweet little Indian children and I was brought to experience this whole set-up through the help and contacts of a great girl, who is a local and whom I now consider to be a special friend. This was too good to be true! Everything! I was overwhelmed. I left, shook Mr. CEO's hand, said I'd be in touch and walked out of there trying to contain my excitement!
This was 4 days ago. When I look back on it now, it feels to be a little surreal. I could have it all!! Everything could work out. All that he's offering, could be just what I'm looking for! I know what I want and need, if I want to stay here for a while. And this could be it. So why am I holding off? Why aren't I jumping at the chance? Why haven’t I given him a definite answer yet? Well, I have some doubts about teaching other subjects along with teaching English (this is an essential requirement) and maybe it's the commitment that's stopping me. Or maybe I'm afraid to hope too much for this to happen and then if something comes along to make it suddenly "impossible", either on their part or mine, then how devastated would I be? But on the other hand, how devastated would I be, if I didn't give this a go? Especially if I then end up having to leave India, before my time, due to visa-issues or financial “complications” I could have avoided, if I had chosen to take the offer of the German school? Wouldn't that be a bigger let-down? If I don't try these things I'll never know and always wonder: What if? Isn’t it better never to regret NOT having tried an amazing opportunity, than to wonder forever what could have come my way, by choosing such an opportunity? Have I found the answer I was looking for?
I've been letting it all sink in. And I've been trying to remind myself how easy this all could be. Things have happened so easily that it feels it couldn’t become real. It’s too good to be true? Does it seem too good and therefore I should choose to not take it, just because opportunities like this are unique? Should I ignore it? But, hang on! It WILL true if I take it! Then it’s as real as life gets, right? And why should it be too good? It can feel too good because it was simply me being in "the right place at the right time"? Everything feels to be handed to me on a silver platter. Things like this never happen to me! Right? Maybe they have always been happening this way, but I've never really seen them so vividly. Could this be what I'm looking for? The next few days or week should reveal some answers. I'm pretty sure they will.
Until then, I'm enjoying what life is presenting me with. I'm taking each day as it comes, with each new experience or encounter in this exciting city accompanied by each new revelation, insight, inspiration or feeling I get whilst doing what I'm doing.