What’s to come? What’s right here? Who is to know? I do!! For now! The past 5 days a few jobs had come my way. I had options, things were happening and Chennai was the place. Everyday though, for some reason or another, each one was no longer MY option. Not strictly by choice, but just through certain situations. Luckily I hadn’t made many plans around these options, so there was little disappointment. There weren’t any plans to go up in smoke. I was still in this amazing place, I was still able to do and be as I wish and I still was offered a place to stay. So contrary to feeling disappointment, with each option that was “taken”, I simply smiled to myself and said that it obviously wasn’t meant to be and the what I AM meant to be doing, would soon come to me. The answer was going to reveal itself.
Saturday morning I woke up and it magically appeared. At that moment, the situation I was in, was starting to make me uncomfortable: I was staying with Jayanthi for free, for nearly 2 weeks now, which was unexpected AND I didn’t know what I was doing or how long I’d be staying. I knew I didn’t want to leave this place. So my next step would have to be in aid of me making a contribution of some sort and not to simply hanging around aimlessly. I had to get focused and I had to have some sort of independency and feel to be “standing on my own 2 feet”, even while staying in this beautiful house.
First things first: How would I feel somewhat settled to get the focus I needed, at this moment in time? Simple: I had to start paying my way. They insisted I didn’t need to. But I simply couldn’t feel fine within myself and they’ve done an incredible amount for me. I was getting to the stage where leaving was the only option, if they wouldn’t let me contribute. For my own sanity and peace of mind, I insisted. This step has lead to me attaining a room upstairs! They have such a big house and are happy to rent this room to me. I’m delighted! I’m moving up, will have my own space, my own bathroom, and there’s even a rooftop terrace with the most amazing views! How lucky I am!!
So, with this setup I knew the next thing I had to do, was set myself a deadline in regards to finding a job here in India. I’ve been in contact with a few agencies for teaching, here in Chennai and in Kerala (near to where I did the course). But nothing is certain, when taking starting dates, visa’s and the duration of contracts, into account. In India everything takes time. I so easily can feel like things aren’t happening fast enough. So I need patience. But realistically the chances of me getting a teaching job here in India, aren’t too big, not until June anyhow, when the new school year starts.
So, instead of me hanging around for an uncertain period of time and letting one week roll into the next and slowly letting my funds run-out, I’ve decided to keep applying and searching for a teaching job in India until the end of March. If it hasn’t happened by then, I’ll have to take a different plan of action and start broadening my horizons to countries where the demand for teachers is higher. This is not due to me wanting to leave India. Because I don’t. It’s actually the only place on earth I really want to be right now. So I want to give it a proper chance. But if I want to stay travelling and start putting the motivation I got from the teaching course into action, then I can’t simply sit around and hope for the best. Things in life only happen when we take action. Otherwise time passes by, so unnoticed, the funds run low and we’re led down certain paths we really didn’t intend on heading towards.
Jayanthi has said that, whatever my plans are and whatever happens over the next few weeks, I can stay for as long as I need. I’m so happy, especially now that I’m renting a room. It’s fantastic. And if it turns out that I can get a job here in Chennai, it will be brilliant. If not, then it wasn’t meant to be. If I get a job in another part of India, then I‘ll take it and be delighted. If the job opportunities will lead me away from India, then that will simply be the priority I have in that moment and therefore it will also be fine. So, the next 2 weeks will reveal if this is my time to stay and really get into Indian life, through teaching. I’m excited and relieved and feel focused. I feel lucky, I feel so happy and I feel so safe and secure knowing that it will always work