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Monday, March 29, 2010

Something said click..

Yesterday was my birthday and what an amazing day it was. I had only planned on contacting my nearest and dearest, maybe writing a little and just enjoying whatever was to come my way. So, when I was treated to an unexpected lunch by Jayanthi and Sheila (another girl from the course who also lives in Chennai) at a 5-star hotel, I couldn't believe my luck. We had the most amazing lunch; fish overload (not really possible, as I love it so much and it had so long since I'd had some), alcohol-buzz (it was my first glass of wine in 8 weeks), sugar-rush (after having to choose from the 20 different desserts, which were all creations of art) to be completed with a spotlight-moment (I was given a chocolate cake saying: Happy Birthday Niamh", with one candle, so I could make my special wish, accompanied by the band playing the all-time favourite birthday song in the background!). What a brilliant time I had!

However, with or without having had such an unexpected treat, I still would have had a brilliant day..

I don't know what was happening, and still am not too sure what's going on, with both myself and the world. Or with myself and my situation, should I say. But something is very much happening, something is brewing. Yesterday and the day before, I felt it. I've dreamt about it too but I can't yet put my finger on it. Saturday afternoon I sat on the bus, I was going around the city, happy as larry, taking in the sights and still seeing amazement, when suddenly I heard myself saying (not outloud, but there was a little voice inside my head): "India is the centre of the universe. It's the centre of the world. This is it. This is where it all happens and so, this is where I must be". I felt this feeling to be so strong and didn't want to even think about having to leave this place. Over the following 2 days, especially yesterday, I felt as if some sort of a "click" had been made. I can't describe it as anything else. A "click" in the sense that, something is going to happen and that something is going to be so so right.

Right now, I don't want to think of being anywhere else. This India is going to teach me so much and it's only just the beginning. The urge is so strong and I have to follow it through. In whatever way I end up "keeping real all that I'm currently seeing and feeling and doing", I have yet got no clue. But it's almost like I'm on a mission. I don't know what it is. It's exciting.

Today I woke up and it was like a new start. It was like the next chapter. But nothing has changed in my situation, since Sunday, Saturday, Friday.. Nothing, except for that "click". I wonder what it was. I wonder what it meant. Time will reveal, as it always does. I could be waiting for this world to present me with what I need, in order to go for this mission. I could be waiting for the next "click", which will lead to the next..and the next..and the next.. Who knows! But until then, I'm feeling settled.

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