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Monday, April 19, 2010

Amazing is all I can say

The following morning, Saturday, which was only my second day here in Kayamkulam, I woke up with a new lease of life. It was incredible. I didn’t want to elope, like I thought I did yesterday. Apart from sensations of still being a little fragile, I felt on top of the world. The thoughts of teaching didn’t make me feel ill, I didn’t stressed about class, I was confident and I was going to do a great job, I was happy to be here, I had my appetite again and the world was amazing. Or to be frank, what I had just been through and gotten over, was amazing. The intensity of the emotions and physical sickness that came out of nowhere, was something I haven’t experienced in more than a year. It came so abruptly, but also left so suddenly. The power of the mind. Once again I have learnt and felt just how fragile a body can be and just precious health is. These are things I know so well and have been faced with more, on a much deeper level, but it’s easy to forget in the midst of the fast world in which we want to take a part of. Sickness and health are all created by the mind and are a manifestation of the thoughts we’re having at the moment we attract that which is not meant to be in our bodies. How our bodies cope with it is a result of our mental state of mind. I definitely picked-up a virus. The time when I picked it up, will be unknown, but the time-period over which it happened was when I was pushing myself, I wasn’t taking care and I wasn’t nourishing myself to the extents I should have been. I was trying to take more from myself than I was giving to myself. It’s opened my eyes in many different ways. Something that came to me and took a hold of me for only 24 hours has given me an intense but amazing lesson.

Every single thing that I was able to do yesterday and even today and still tomorrow I’m grateful for. I got so bad on Friday, I felt I’d never be able to do the smallest little thing ever again, such as send a text message. The smallest little thing was the biggest deal and all I’ve been wanting to do since leaving Ireland is embrace the whole world! What a contrast, what a wake-up call. Going from not being able to send a text on Friday to being able to do it all on Saturday; from one extreme to the other. This was unreal. Because Saturday I had my first teaching experience, as an employee, in India; an opportunity that I had made happen! I went to school, I was excited, I was eager. I gave the classes and felt amazing. The teaching was flowing, the kids were amazing, I was alive and well, I didn’t want the classes to end and was so excited at the thoughts of what I could get these kids to achieve and how I would grow and learn from them. The Head of the school was delighted and they have even decided to put the teaching-assistants in my class so as to learn from me. Wouw.. It was crazy, it was amazing and I was over the moon!

What an episode this was. It’s all so great though. Yesterday and today, I’ve been taking more time to get my total physical strength back. Tomorrow the new week starts. I’ve got students to teach, English to spread and love to share! I’m making peace with the place I’m staying at. I have to. I don’t want to focus on the things that aren’t perfect, but instead I have to accept the good things that are here, such as the friendly women, the safety in numbers, the fan on the ceiling, the hot water and an “auntie” (this is what we call the woman who runs the hostel) who is being as hospitable as possible. All the other things are just minor details. I have to accept and I will. I’m just happy that I’m able to do this and be in the position I now find myself. Whatever reveals itself over the next weeks, is fine. I will be able for anything!

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