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Monday, April 26, 2010

By the window I continued to sit - so much to see!

I was still sitting, looking out of the window and the Indian Summer rain started to fall. It falls daily here in Kerala now and it’s so refreshing in the evenings; cooling down the hot afternoons that reach 40degrees. Then there was a thunderstorm and the fork lightening was amazing; the sky was pink through the massive coconut trees that surround the hostel. I was still thinking and feeling like this wasn’t me. I was looking down at myself, in this town of Kayamkulam and saw someone passing through, someone so lucky and so in the right place, at this moment in time.

I thought of the teaching, which has been so amazing. The kids are fantastic and they are what I’m here for. I can’t imagine that 2 weeks ago I didn’t even know they existed and now I feel like I‘ve known them before. The workload is a lot, but that’s my own doing. I know that I shouldn’t stress too much or get too caught up in the planning of what I’m teaching, but I can’t help it. I’m so new to this teaching world, that I really must put in the effort to reach my full potential, when I’m in front of the class. But having said that, even without preparation, the teaching is coming naturally and it seems to be effortless. I have only 60 students and wish I had more. I only work half days and the afternoons are free, which I fill with making plans for the following lessons.

The school is small and the head of the school and the other teachers, are amazing. They overwhelm me with hospitality all the time, sometimes to the extent where I feel claustrophobic. They worry for my safety, they want to know my every move, my every meal, my every worry or doubt. They don’t like me walking to school, so I get picked-up. They don’t want me in the afternoon sun, so they buy whatever I need from the shops, just to save my fair skin from the rays, of which they are all envious. It’s all so sweet, but sometimes a bit much. They don’t seem to realize how far from home I am and that I’ve managed to get myself everywhere else safe and sound, without being “mothered” or “pampered” by them. I’ve spoken about this issue with others since being in India, as I’ve experienced it before and they simply say: now that you’re here with us, we must see to it that you’re comfortable and happy. Which I know is amazing and how blessed am I to never be alone, and always to have somebody there for me. So I thank my lucky stars, once again.

Whatever will come of this, I haven’t a notion. All I know that my days at this school are numbered, and that’s why every day is special and to be cherished. The days will unfold, as will this life and soon I’ll know a little more.. Or not.. We just never know..

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