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Monday, April 26, 2010

One year later

A year later, since leaving Ireland - It’s hard to believe. I got on a plane and flew to Australia on the 24th of April last year, without any definite plans as to how long I would be travelling for or what I was exactly going to do. All I knew back then was that I had to start travelling and Australia was the place.

How strange it is to think that in a year so much has changed. I think back to my first month in Oz and I follow the path I took and see all the different chapters of my travels that led me to each new experience. Most times, I don’t feel like I experienced everything. With each step, I can see the change in me, in some minor way - and I wasn’t always moving forward in all directions in life, but moving forward in a certain aspect that was needed at that moment in time - be it for relationships, friendships, finances or health. Thinking back to both Ireland and Australia, feels like a lifetime ago. I feel like I’ve aged so much in this one year but it’s like I’m a newer and fresher me too. How strange.

So one year on. And have I got plans to return home? Many have been asking and I haven’t been giving any straight answers. I don‘t like to say things and not follow them through. That just makes people disappointed and it‘s giving false hope. That’s why I have been vague. Another reason is because I don’t know anything for sure just yet either. I feel, if I’m totally honest, like I’m only just starting something (this is actually a very recent feeling I’ve been having). I don’t feel like this is the end, just because it’s been a year. I feel it’s only the beginning of something but I don’t know of what. But I don’t need to know..

It’s also nearly 3 months since leaving Oz and arriving in India. I have 3 months left on my tourist visa. I’m being faced with reality at the moment and the reality is that decisions need to be made if I want to stay or go. So many options and too many things I feel I need and want to do. I wait for the answer to come, but the sky won’t provide me with it, because the sky is literally the limit so it will never just tell me one thing in particular. Only I can come up with the answer as to how to go about the next months. I can steer it any direction I want. It can be so easy. But getting caught up with other things around me, such as this new teaching experience, gives me the tendency to put on hold the decisions I must make and the actions I must take to materialize all that I can. But life and time waits for nobody and suddenly chances are missed or things that had been within reach, are suddenly gone due to being so preoccupied and distracted.
Hummm... so what to do..

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