By reading my pervious post, you may realize that I didn’t leave Chennai without thought or feelings. I left knowing what I wanted, where I was heading. It may have been rash, but that’s how it was meant to go.
I guess now though, the moment of me being reflective has come, and that’s my reason for this writing. I’m just closing Chennai’s chapter, for now, and starting another. I can never say when I’ll return again. I’m almost wary of saying that I definitely will. I can’t think that far ahead right now. But looking back, I can. And it was a whirlwind of a 5 -week “journey”. The amount of interviews I attended in such a “short” space of time, is unreal. Never in all my life have I ever seen myself sat at so many desks listening to principles and businessmen talk about the ease involved in taking the teaching position, with the so-called “great salary“. I look back and it’ like I replay a movie of myself and Jayanthi, traipsing around the city going from one part to next, using hundreds of autoriskshaws, tens of buses and drinking chai to get us through and keep us sane. It looks like something amazing, as I think back. We laughed, we despaired, we spoke, we had high hopes and visions of what the certain positions could bring us, we “chanced our arms” and kept everything flowing. We always had some sort of back-up or reserve..
I’ve been so grateful though for every opportunity and never for a minute have I wondered what I could have been doing or what job I may have gotten, had I NOT moved to Chennai. I know there’s a reason for me to have come. It was to experience life within an Indian family, life within one of India’s metro’s, life from day-to-day, life of the “jobseeker” in India. It was also for me to seriously consider and be faced with so many teaching jobs, that I was forced to question what it is I really want at this moment in time. And I did. I can never know for sure, but for now, I’ve found the answer; hence the decision I made to come to Hyderabad; hence me sitting here in this new place surrounded by new people with an approach to life that will hopefully inspire me in many different ways.
Chennai gave me what I needed. I wouldn’t be sitting here otherwise. Getting to meet Nandan last week (right place, right time!) as well as all the jobs not being the right ones, was the perfect combo to set me on my way. I feel to have come so far in other aspects too, within the space of 5 weeks. I feel like I’ve gotten so much stronger and more confident. I know what I want and I know how to get it - to a certain degree. Also when it comes to getting things done and to simply being apart of this country, as the person I am or as the person the natives here see me as: which is the “foreign girl travelling alone”, the “walking wallet” or the “white girl who can be taken advantage of, in whatever way anybody feels the desire to”. I’ve only been here for such a short time and still have so much to learn and to adapt to. But I won’t let people walk “all over me”. Or maybe not as much as I used to. I can stand up for myself, tell the rude people of the world what I think and be harsh if I need to! The term: “toughen-up princess!” comes to mind, which is something many country folk of Australia would say. It could be happening! I just needed India to give me a helping hand!
So thank you Jayanthi, thank you Chennai, thank you India. It‘s been amazing so far!
Enough said for now. I’ll be quiet and let you get on with whatever it was you were doing!